Please don't be offended...

I am not 300+ lbs, but I can probably answer a part of this question at least because I think a lot of weight problems have one common issue no matter what you weigh.

(and I should point out that this excludes medical conditions etc.)

Denial.

For me, I was a 120 to 125 lbs. I knew I was gaining rapidly and I really didn’t want to think about it. 3 to 4 months down the line, I finally stepped on the scale and I was 157 lbs.

Why did I gain so much in those 3-4 months? Depression, medication, emotional eating, stress, being tired all the time from said depression etc.

Why didn’t I do anything about it?

Denial.

Plain and simple. I didn’t want to think about it. Had I not stepped on the scale when I did, I’d still be gaining. Like anything, taking that first step is the hardest.

For a lot of people, they go a lot more than 3 months before stepping on the scale. They are aware that they have a problem but just don’t want to think about it or see the numbers in front of them because it’s a harsh, harsh reality to face.

I was only slightly overweight and it was scary as hell to me to have to face the numbers. I can only imagine that it’s worse for someone who is morbidly obese.

Before you can fix any problem, you have to accept that it IS a problem. Another issue I think we have, at least in the USA, is that there is a sort of “fat acceptance” movement going on.

Go ahead and bring on the flames… I am all for accepting everyone as they are. No one should be mean to someone because they are overweight. BUT… accepting unhealthy lifestyles as the norm is not okay.

There is a big difference between being a straight up jerk to someone and being honest about the fact that overweight should not be considered normal.

Every time I hear someone say “well, REAL women have curves” when referring to a 200 lb, un-toned, couch dweller stuffing her face with McDonalds vs. a 110 lb runner eating a salad, I cringe. Phrases like this have become a mantra for obese people trying to up their self esteem.

Don’t get me wrong, upping your self esteem is great. But instead of accepting yourself as unhealthy and being okay with that (cause it’s not okay to be unhealthy), up your self esteem by starting to fix your health. Once you start getting healthier, you will feel a lot better about yourself.

On the other hand, OP, I think most people who reach weights over 300+lbs likely have serious medical conditions that have contributed to their weight issues. So a lot of this applies to people who are under 300 lbs.

For me it's easy.....stress.

I'm an emotional eater. I get stressed. I eat, I'm sad I eat, I'm tired I eat.

For years, I struggled with my weight, after a while I just quit the struggle and gave up on myself. After that, the pounds pilled on and the more they did the less I cared about me. It was a vicious circle,The more I gain weight, the more I was sad,the more I would eat and it would start all over again.

I now have 150lbs to lose. I'm determined not to stop giving up on myself, this place works wonders.

If I have one big thing I would say to you, don't judge someone who is overweight. I find that more often than not, that person is stuck in a bad circle. They need surroundings that will encourage then to step out of the circle, to celebrate the little changes as if they were mountains because with each step taken, its one step closer to reaching their goal weight. Remind the person just how big a pound lost is, how moving more is making a difference, that it took them years to gain the weight, it shouldn't take weeks or months to lose it all.
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STRESS!!!

you said it, not necessarily depression or sadness but general STRESS, business, financial woes, worried about loved ones, all this contributes to STRESS

Do you have any "vices"..? Smoking, drinking..ect..

Dont say you dont because you a a human being just like the rest of us..

Understand your own vices, be perfect..and ask again..

I dont drink, smoke ect...but I am somehow different than you.

You ask a question suggesting fat people are somehow different.

Go ask people we eating disorders why they do it..

The human body is amazing - I suggest you watch some amazing human body shows on the Science Channel. First we have gone through millions of years of evolution. And with that our brain does not like starving, but prefers to hoard extra calories so that we may survive during periods of drought and famine - that used to be much more prevalent. It is in our DNA. Now in this day and age for many people in the Western world, extra calories are very plentiful. For some people it is easy to avoid these extra calories, but as we can see with the obesity epidemic this is not the case for most. Then tack on the depression that typically ensues when someone does get obese, and you have a viscous cycle. Furthermore, when a person does gain extra weight and then loose that weight, the body adapts and becomes very efficient. That person will have to eat less calories and exercise more than someone who never gained the extra weight. Plus the brain will push that person (through a release of a hormone) to eat more, the cravings can become very intense requiring a great deal of willpower to overcome. Those who loose weight and are able to keep it off, typically become somewhat obsessed with watching what they eat. It is one thing to loose weight, but completely another to keep it off. FYI: Food releases more happy hormones than kissing, which is why we seek comfort in food.

Nice post, thanks.

Go watch the HBO four-part documentary, The Weight of the Nation. Each episode is about an hour long and can be watched for free (online and legally) here: http://theweightofthenation.hbo.com/films

You can also rent or purchase the DVDs and; there is a companion book as well.

The documentary is well researched, extremely revelatory and informative. It talks about the factors that play into being overweight, obese and morbidly obese; as well as the consequences and; it offers some general but truly helpful solutions.

It's well worth the four hours to educate yourself about what is truly a public health crises and; I've found it very helpful in my own personal weight-loss campaign to know exactly what I'm up against.

For my husband, who started his diet at 350 pounds: 1) His mother taught him food was love and reward. She cooked Old Southern; everything fried in tons of grease with meat flavoring all the vegetables. Good food for a man going down the mines, but not so good for someone inactive.

AND then.... He played football and started to injure his knees. So he started to sit more. And he eats when he's bored or sleepy or stressed. And then he gained more weight. And started driving a truck, where he sits all the time and is usually bored, sleepy, and stressed. And his knees hurt more, and he fell on the ice a few times as a trucker (and this is America, where you don't go to the doctor for that sort of thing), and his knees hurt more.....

So now he's due for knee replacements, AND he's got COPD from his years of breathing smoke as a fireman. Exercise, hell, he has a hard time walking up the three shallow steps to the porch from the sidewalk. What's left to do that's fun? Eat.

And he married a woman who cooks well. So eating is fun and tempting.

And he quit smoking three times (the third time took) and each time put forty pounds on him.

But it's all coming off now, slowly. I am very proud of him, because he's having to do it all with diet, and just alter a lot of his habits around food.

Myself.... I am inclined to be active, but at 23, I folded my foot in half and they put it back together with pins and screws. Now at 40, this means I have arthritis in my foot. I can't guarantee I can stand up long enough to scramble an egg on any given day. This makes staying active hard. And this isn't a visible disability, and I'm not "old enough" to hurt like that, and after all, they repaired it so it should be fine now. So I got rather depressed. And I am hypoglycemic so a carb fog was actually nice.

Now I've got my thyroid medicated, my ADHD medicated, and am on a prescription pill for the arthritis pain that actually works with minimal side effects. I'm doing better, and losing weight, slowly, but steadily, and that works for me.

I went from 135lbs to 218lbs in about 5 years after high school.

I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, it had a lot to do with emotional eating from a very stressful college career and being very delusional about the way I looked. Despite my clothing sizes continuing to climb, I was in denial for years about my weight problem and my emotional issues when it came to food.

It wasn't until my doctor told me I was obese, and I couldn't shop in the misses section anymore since the size 16's were too tight that I realized how far I'd let myself go. For the last year or so before I started to make changes, I didn't even weigh myself. Getting on the scale and seeing that dial go almost to 220 broke my heart.

Judging by the responses I've read in this thread already, it seems that my story isn't unique at all unfortunately.

The bad thing about obesity is that parents pass it on to their kids by allowing them to eat as much and as often as they do. I have a friend who has a majorly obese kid and I know that if I said anything I would catch hell and she would just chalk it up to genetics. Can't win in that situation and the kid is going to be messed up for life most likely.

That is really sad.

I really wanted to get most of my weight off before I got pregnant, and I got about 40 lbs of it off (still had about 20 more to go to be where I wanted to be). I'm hoping the skills I learned along the way will help me get my baby weight off and help show my son how to eat well and have a better relationship with food than I did.

Sadly, a lot of parents don't even try or just don't know how to fix things when it comes to their own obesity and the obesity of their children. I just feel so sorry for those kids that never get a chance to be healthy

Unresolved emotional issues that manifested physically. "letting yourself" get overweight is like saying a depressed person 'lets themselves be unhappy". Its easy to see what you need to do, doing it is another thing all together.

Personally, I always thought I looked better than I actually did. lol. Denial is an interesting foe.

I got through the first episode and half of the second one. Scary stuff down the road for this country. I'll try to watch more tonight.

They're very well done - I suggest that anyone interested in obesity, and especially, childhood obesity, take a look at these videos.

Go watch the HBO four-part documentary, The Weight of the Nation. Each episode is about an hour long and can be watched for free (online and legally) here: http://theweightofthenation.hbo.com/films

You can also rent or purchase the DVDs and; there is a companion book as well.

The documentary is well researched, extremely revelatory and informative. It talks about the factors that play into being overweight, obese and morbidly obese; as well as the consequences and; it offers some general but truly helpful solutions.

It's well worth the four hours to educate yourself about what is truly a public health crises and; I've found it very helpful in my own personal weight-loss campaign to know exactly what I'm up against.

There's the parable of the frog who was put into water...

The first time the water was super hot and he jumped right out again because he wasn't going to be boiled alive

The second time the water was a nice comfortable temperature, which was gradually increased so the frog didn't notice how hot it was getting and he died.

Weight is the same way. people don't get fat overnight, they slowly put it on over years and years. They don't "let themselves go", they slowly eat an extra 3500 calories a week that they don't burn off which slowly adds pound by pound.

I haven't read all these pages... I'm sure someone has already offered a similar answer.

I believe there is a difference between obesity and morbid obesity. You can be a healthy obese, but there is no such thing as a healthy mobidly obese. That is almost an oxymoron. To become morbidly obese, you have to have a certain kind of mentality. You have to believe that your health is not important or at least have some kind of disconnect between your health and your size. For most people, it is depression that leads people to have this mentality, but I don't think it generally starts this way. I think depression is more the end result.

Either way, it is my opinion that morbid obesity is more directly associated with mental health than any other physical condition.

Honestly the two times I have gained a lot of weight I really didn't notice it. The slowly boiling a frog metaphor applies fully. Doctor said dude, you are fat. That and I saw my photo I have in my profile of this time last year. That did it.

This is a genuine question I am asking because I am very interested in obesity and morbid obesity, specifically WHY and HOW. I am also a nursing student, and I understand that factors X, Y, and Z play into obesity. But here is my question, and I would really appreciate honest answers from people who truly understand:

How does a person "let" himself or herself become so heavy? How and why does a person put on 300, 400, 500 pounds? I just do not understand and would really like to "get it" so in the future, as a nurse, I can better help those struggling with this issue.

Thank you

-Nicole

Don't take this the wrong way either... but lets turn the tables. Your ticker says you want to lose 15lbs. My question to you is "how did you get yourself in tat situation? Why didn't you start working on your weight sooner?"

If you can answer that, then you know the answer for most of us. I got up to 400lbs. Would you still be gaining if you didn't come across MFP? If so why?

My point is, it's the same situation for most of us, just varies degrees of weight gain.

:drinker: