Single at 33..why?

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Replies

  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.

    Ouch. Jerk :-/

    Im 33.

    I dont feel like Im falling behind, or that there is something wrong with me. Whoever has me has the jackpot as far as Im concerned. I have overcome social issues and insecurities, know how to handle a budget and household, have had yearts of experience leaning my own faults and how to out maneuver them in advance, how to have adult friendships on equal footing with people my age and older. I have almost 15 years experience in the work force and my work ethic has been built by fire and desire. Ive learned so many of the hard lessons that you are thrown into in your twenties, that now I have the ability to focus on constantly bettering my life based on the things I did learn in my twenties. I can concentrate on surging forward, creating my life - building it from the ground up. I have an endless stretch of decades of advaneture ahead of me. \

    Oh yoovie, you have a third of your life behind you, you did it wrong cause youre not married - you should just quit and give up and get out of the game cause you lost.

    ^ know how often i hear this?

    Know how often I believe it? Never. Im a living goddamn testimony to the fact that your twenties are just another kind of high school. get dragged through hell and when you get here where I am and find out that youre more beautiful and happier over here - instead of dead and old and wrinkled and boring and unwanted like you are so sure you'll be.... I'll have a beer waiting for you.

    I need to blog about this crap - im tired of hearing Im no longer of use to the world because I didnt stop and have children.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    And second of all - You go through a MAJOR personality change between 27 and 30 and guess what - that girl you married at 24... neither of yall will be the same people anymre.

    Please rush into a serious heavy commitment because as soon as the clock strikes thirty, no one will ever love you and life is over.

    scoffs in disgust.
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    Single can be a good thing, FYI.
  • blueandigo
    blueandigo Posts: 296
    Whenever you are ready to be in a committed relationship, then tell me and I am all yours :)

    I sing. I act. I am on my was to my BS and BA.


    Oh and I youthful :)
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    And second of all - You go through a MAJOR personality change between 27 and 30 and guess what - that girl you married at 24... neither of yall will be the same people anymre.

    Please rush into a serious heavy commitment because as soon as the clock strikes thirty, no one will ever love you and life is over.

    scoffs in disgust.

    Hear hear!
  • Ph4lanx
    Ph4lanx Posts: 213 Member
    And second of all - You go through a MAJOR personality change between 27 and 30 and guess what - that girl you married at 24... neither of yall will be the same people anymre.

    Please rush into a serious heavy commitment because as soon as the clock strikes thirty, no one will ever love you and life is over.

    scoffs in disgust.

    For the record, I'm 31, single, no kids. I don't feel like I'm missing anything, but if the right person were to come along, I'd consider it a bonus.

    I like yoovie. She says it as it is, with far more experience than all the 18-20 years olds who have kids and trouble with their relationships these days. Fancy a date? :tongue:
  • hrshygrl00
    hrshygrl00 Posts: 66 Member
    Just some support to the OP, because I feel the exact same way, and could have written almost every word.
    I've done what's suggested...I've 'put myself out there', talk to people, etc, but it just. never. works.
    It's really depressing and disheartening.
    I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, and I'm just about tired of trying, because I do, and it doesn't work. :frown:
  • Vickiesings
    Vickiesings Posts: 95
    I am almost 54, divorced and single. I feel ya!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    And second of all - You go through a MAJOR personality change between 27 and 30 and guess what - that girl you married at 24... neither of yall will be the same people anymre.

    Please rush into a serious heavy commitment because as soon as the clock strikes thirty, no one will ever love you and life is over.

    scoffs in disgust.

    For the record, I'm 31, single, no kids. I don't feel like I'm missing anything, but if the right person were to come along, I'd consider it a bonus.

    I like yoovie. She says it as it is, with far more experience than all the 18-20 years olds who have kids and trouble with their relationships these days. Fancy a date? :tongue:

    Awwww Im sorry darlin, there are no restaurants halfway between our houses and Im kinda spoken for :P
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
    People are individuals and cannot and should not be lumped into categories or groups. By stereotyping people you are prejudging people before knowing them. Give various men from different backgrounds a chance and relax, your man will be there one day if it's meant to be. Make the most of your life and enjoy the process. The rest will fall into place!
  • sunnymel126
    sunnymel126 Posts: 359 Member
    I need to blog about this crap - im tired of hearing Im no longer of use to the world because I didnt stop and have children.

    amen
  • emdeegan
    emdeegan Posts: 219 Member
    if you're single, 33 and down in the dumps about this situation.. then you're going to remain in this situation. no one, i repeat, no one wants to be with someone who is enveloped with self pity. learn to love being you and by yourself. it is when you know yourself and are happy with yourself that you meet your mate. until then.. there's always ben and jerry.. i hear they are available most evenings for a movie on the couch...
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
    If you have trouble meeting the right one (maleor female), always start with the person in the mirror. This is how I went from a mean judgemental person to someone who finds something nice to say about everyone. Made a huge difference in my life.
  • PrincessKittenpants
    PrincessKittenpants Posts: 144
    :flowerforyou: :36 single mother who has never been married without any prospects. Although, I think it would be great to have the companionship and all that comes with being married I am enjoying my life. My last relationship was with my sons Father and I would be lying if I said this didn't effect my outlook but it also has not soured me to the possibility of finding my version of happiness. I wish you luck sweet friend and don't ever change yourself because you think that is what someone else wants.
  • TooSexy4MyBody
    TooSexy4MyBody Posts: 4
    Not a thing is wrong with you. Go about your life, do the things you love, take up hobbies, etc. LIVE life! Enjoy yourself. In so doing, you'll probably meet the guy of your dreams doing the things he loves too. You'll have all sorts of things in common, you'll be terrific friends, and have a relationship that can stand the test of time. You'll be lovers in every sense of the word.

    Don't feel bad about yourself. The right man is there. You'll find HIM, when you find yourself. Stop looking and he'll appear when you least expect it.
  • hrshygrl00
    hrshygrl00 Posts: 66 Member
    At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.

    Well GEE! thanks for the support!!!

    /sarcasm :angry:
  • jkrim941
    jkrim941 Posts: 226 Member
    I got married young. I am 30 and divorced. I'd much rather be 33 and single than 30 and divorced. The word 'divorced' seems to hold a lot of negative connotations when you date; like there must have been something wrong with me since my marriage failed. Getting people past that is really hard.
  • Tracepa98
    Tracepa98 Posts: 219
    I will be 32 at the end of the year and currently single. No kids and no boyfriend. Right now I'm uncertain of what i want in life. Only thing I do know is I want to be healthy to be here longer.

    Because of my scenario, i don't want kids. Its getting late for me and my financial and housing situation does not work for it. I have 5 nieces and nephews that I can visit and spoil whenever I wish. I also have teenage cousins to hang out with.

    Ive proven that I don't need a man to be happy. Sure, sometimes its lonely but Ive embraced the freedoms of doing what I want and not having to have someone else's approval.

    Life is what you make of it. Make a list of things you want to do and go do them! Spending time wishing something would happen is only dwindling down your time left.
  • elcyclista
    elcyclista Posts: 393
    Welcome to the lonely people's club. :p
  • DG82
    DG82 Posts: 105
    I'm on the same boat here too... it's nice to know at least I'm not the only one who feels this way! I am definitely a picky girl and refuse to settle. Pretty much everyone I know, including MANY girls that are years younger than me are either already married, having kids, and/or engaged now so it's definitely hard not to be depressed about it. I have had not so great luck in the love department. I was in what I thought would be the relationship that would be leading to marriage, only to have my heart completely broken last year about a week and a half after I turned 29. :-( Now I'm on the cusp of turning 30 in just a few months and have been single ever since the last breakup, with just occasional online dating that hasn't really led to much of anything. I have a lot going for me, college educated, my own place, car, etc... not a lot of debt, lol. I dunno, lately I have been trying to focus on ME and just work on enjoying life as I can day by day. I truly believe that I will meet the man I'm destined to be with and he'll completely blow away all the other losers from the past. Try to keep your head up like the rest of us... Our time will come and in the end we will be the ones truly happy and in love, and getting married for all the RIGHT reasons! :-)

    Oh and btw my younger sister is also getting married this week (Friday) and I'm the maid of honor - so I'm happy for her, but I'm not looking forward to family questions at me asking - "Why aren't you married yet?!" I'm also going dateless, so yup...
  • sprmom
    sprmom Posts: 8 Member
    I have to say, Im not in your boat, but at times the single life sounds so wonderful... dont get me worng I LOVE my children and my husband, but I also feel like Ive missed out on so much that I could have done as a single woman! I met my husband 2 weeks after I turned 18 married at 20 and we have been together 15 years... honestly I wonder what did I miss out on. I know *gasp* what a b*&%@ i must be! yes Im happy yes I have a great life, but people always look out the front door and wonder what if.... So my advice to you, is be yourself, have fun,enjoy life and sooner or later Mr right will come along. You are still young, the same age as me :-) Yet you still have so much living to do! I wish you the best in finding the love of your life,it will happen for you!
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
    Welcome to the lonely people's club. :p

    It's only lonely if you make it so - Unless of course you were being sarcastic, then carry on! :flowerforyou:
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I got married young. I am 30 and divorced. I'd much rather be 33 and single than 30 and divorced. The word 'divorced' seems to hold a lot of negative connotations when you date; like there must have been something wrong with me since my marriage failed. Getting people past that is really hard.

    You will find people in their thirties are overwhelmingly more ok with this than 20 somethings. Like - you will totally be SHOCKED.
  • ejohndrow
    ejohndrow Posts: 1,399 Member
    I'm 31 single never married, no kids, in the Navy, almost done with a BS and a BA-I'm a hard worker and I consider myself a decent person.

    At this point in time I am at a place where I would love to settle down, meet someone and have a family (alright mentally not physically, I wouldn't want to live here the rest of my life). However, I don't actively troll for possible husbands. I work, hang out with friends, etc. and my views are that it'll happen when it happens. And it's really only been the past year or so that I've felt this way.

    It's still obnoxious to have people around me tell me I'm not missing out on anything, or I shouldn't 'go looking for it.' Sometimes it's not about self pity or a bad attitude, some people just aren't that great with the dating scene, I know I'm not.

    It comes down to the fact that sometimes people just want to vent about feeling a little lonely and wondering why they just haven't met someone yet. I know I get a little annoyed when I hear the same answers or 'advise' from people. we're all different, just because someone is still happy being single at 50, doesn't mean someone else is happy being single at 30.

    Basically OP, I feel you.
  • n25philly
    n25philly Posts: 75 Member
    Good man here 32 and single. It happens. It's harder than you think to find someone that is right for you.
  • skonly
    skonly Posts: 371
    There is no reason you can't be happy and single. People ask me all the time if I want to get married again. No I don't. There isn't enough room in the bed for another human, my dogs barely make room for me. lol. I know so many women who say they aren't happy unless they are with someone and then end up unhappy all the time because they bounce from man to man.

    Personally I don't believe you can be happy with someone else unless you can be happy with yourself first. Having someone does not solve all your problems and make life better instantly. Don't stress over it and enjoy living your life. If you meet someone and it happens that's great. But in the meantime do things you want to do and don't worry about it.

    Being single doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. If anything it means so far you have been smart enough not to settle down in a relationship that wasn't right for you.
  • LadonnaFunk
    LadonnaFunk Posts: 15 Member
    I feel for you. When I was in that boat, my brother told me that "all you need is one" guy. As in, there might not be a lot of guys out there that meet your requirements, but all you need to find is one! Whatever you do, don't lower your standards on the important stuff! Maybe try looking in some new places? You have to go to where the kind of guy that you're looking for is, and you have to be living a life that a person like that would find attractive. Anyway, I was in the same boat, couldn't find a nice Christian guy either, I prayed about it a lot, and then God brought a really great catch into my life. Best of luck to you...
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,923 Member
    I'm 33 and single, no kids, never engaged/married. It's not something to be depressed about. Lately I've been helping a friend (31 and male) through a divorce (they were married for 8 years). Trust me, I'm thankful to make my own money, have my place, own my own car and do whatever the heck I want. I'd rather be single and happy (and maybe a bit lonely at times) than have married the person I was with in my early 20's and realize now that I was in a loveless marriage with someone I can't stand.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I'm divorced with 2 kids at 34. I wish I had waited for the right one rather than rushing into it. Although, I'm really enjoying being single now than I ever have. As I get older, I wonder if I will ever find love again.

    Don't sweat it if you haven't found the right one yet. That "better-to-have-loved-and-lost" thing is BS. If you loved and lost, then that means somewhere down the line, you were hurt too. Just don't give up. The right one is out there somewhere. Probably wondering why they are single at their age too. LOL!
  • IamBlackMamba
    IamBlackMamba Posts: 229
    I say get over it. Look at all of these people who have their own wonderful stories to share. Life does not end or begin just because you are married with kids.

    You have the power and the freedom to make life what you want it to be.

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