Dating and kids

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Moofey2
Moofey2 Posts: 327 Member
in Chit-Chat
Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all? :)
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  • SmexAppeal
    SmexAppeal Posts: 858 Member
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    I'm a single mom (POS baby daddy) - so I can't judge. I feel a man who has full custody is a good man. He obviously wants what's best for his children, and having to deal with a dead beat dad, I would honestly find it very attractive that they aren't one. I can only hope there are some decent, single men out there that would want to date someone who has a child/full custody!!
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    Seeing as how I have kids.. Yes.
    I am blessed to have met someone who treats my kids like they are his own.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    yup. more to love and saves me from the scary part. besides, they are part of someone you fell in love with. They get mad love by default.
  • ilovemybuggy
    ilovemybuggy Posts: 1,584 Member
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    I'm a single mom (POS baby daddy) - so I can't judge. I feel a man who has full custody is a good man. He obviously wants what's best for his children, and having to deal with a dead beat dad, I would honestly find it very attractive that they aren't one. I can only hope there are some decent, single men out there that would want to date someone who has a child/full custody!!

    This exactly.
  • MaritaD
    MaritaD Posts: 178 Member
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    Definietly! My boyfriend treats my daughter like his own. If I was single and in the reverse sitaution I would do the same.
  • 126siany
    126siany Posts: 1,386 Member
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    Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all? :)

    Depends on why they have full custody and whether there is still active, encompassing drama with the ex-wife. Men don't usually get full custody; when they do, the wife is usually a total trainwreck. If the guy thrives on drama, I want no part of him. They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. Not my cup of tea.

    If they have full custody for reasons other than an unstable ex, then I don't mind.
  • Moofey2
    Moofey2 Posts: 327 Member
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    Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all? :)

    Depends on why they have full custody and whether there is still active, encompassing drama with the ex-wife. Men don't usually get full custody; when they do, the wife is usually a total trainwreck. If the guy thrives on drama, I want no part of him. They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. Not my cup of tea.

    If they have full custody for reasons other than an unstable ex, then I don't mind.

    The man I am talking to does haha, his ex is in rehab for meth.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    I have full custody.....said drama is over.
    She is an alcoholic and has moved 1800 miles away.

    I hope one day I will meet someone. No rush...kids first.
    Yes I would date someone that had kids as well.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    I decided that I'm not dating until my kids are grown. I can't focus in two different places like that. Some people can, and I'm nto judging. I'm kind of a simple person, and I can't do a relationship and kids at the same time. I mean, if it was my wife, that's different because you grew into the roles together. But, to add someone is awkward. I already tried it twice, and I realized that it's just not going to work.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    Nope. I'm not having kids and don't want any baby mama drama.
  • Davidgettinghealthy
    Davidgettinghealthy Posts: 76
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    I decided that I'm not dating until my kids are grown. I can't focus in two different places like that. Some people can, and I'm nto judging. I'm kind of a simple person, and I can't do a relationship and kids at the same time. I mean, if it was my wife, that's different because you grew into the roles together. But, to add someone is awkward. I already tried it twice, and I realized that it's just not going to work.


    This times a million. I feel like I have a lot to offer to the right woman but I can hardly blame them for not wanting to get involved considering having to deal with the ex and what not. My girls and I have settled into a comfortable routine that works really well for us. I won't give up hope, being the romantic that I am, but I do have to be a realist. I will probably be single until my kids are grown, which is happening wayyyy too fast.
  • Davidgettinghealthy
    Davidgettinghealthy Posts: 76
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    My god, do I know how to kill a thread or what?
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    If I was single and came across such a guy, sure why not.
    Who doesn't love the Brady Bunch.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    As a woman who has primary custody of her child, this is going to sound weird, but no (if I didn't have a child).

    I admire and respect a man who cares for his children, but if I were a single gal with no children of my own, I don't think I could do it. This is also going to sound weird, but I don't really like other people's kids. Not in a mean way or anything, I'm just really awkward around other people's children and don't really like being around a lot of kids, babysitting or being a teacher never appealed to me, etc. So I don't think I'd be interested in dating somebody who had children if I didn't. Plus I'd be concerned about baby-mama drama and all that business, plus not wanting to overstep my role in the child's life, etc. Just seems really complicated.

    My boyfriend is awesome. He is not my son's biological father, and he had no qualms about dating me even though I had an almost 2 year old at the time. He has been amazing to my son, and I just really couldn't ask for a better situation with him, but he's also got a hell of a lot more patience than I do, and he loves kids. He understood I couldn't hang out all the time, or go out a lot, or have him over or anything for a while because my child came first (in fact on our first date I flat out told him "my son will always be more important than you are, can you deal with that?" I'm surprised he didn't turn around and run), but if the roles were reversed I don't think I'd be as understanding or as patient, if that makes sense.
  • sarahharmintx
    sarahharmintx Posts: 868 Member
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    I'm a single mom (POS baby daddy) - so I can't judge. I feel a man who has full custody is a good man. He obviously wants what's best for his children, and having to deal with a dead beat dad, I would honestly find it very attractive that they aren't one.

    This. Exactly. Well, I was a single mom. My husband accepted my daughter with no strongs attached. I dont know what it is like to date someone with kids because I never did but it wasnt because I was apposed, it was bc I never met anyone like that.

    Is dating/marrying someone with kids easy- no. Its a whole other element to the relationship but it can be a really great one.
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
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    I decided that I'm not dating until my kids are grown. I can't focus in two different places like that. Some people can, and I'm nto judging. I'm kind of a simple person, and I can't do a relationship and kids at the same time. I mean, if it was my wife, that's different because you grew into the roles together. But, to add someone is awkward. I already tried it twice, and I realized that it's just not going to work.

    This. Exactly.

    This was actually a big part of why my ex and I reconciled after being separated for a year. We remained friends throughout the time we were separated, and neither of us could fathom re-marrying or having a serious relationship with someone while we were trying to raise our daughter. Too much drama, too much stress of trying to balance often-conflicting needs. He dated a few people casually, but I really couldn't bring myself to do it.

    I think the caution I would give you, OP, is that most parents will put the needs of their child before the needs of a boyfriend/girlfriend, and rightly so. If you are "high maintenance," need to be the center of attention, or would be bothered if your boyfriend put his child needs before your own, you should think twice.
  • rompers16
    rompers16 Posts: 5,404 Member
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    I say a man raising his children shows a lot about his character. My husband was raising his 2 kids for 6 yrs on his own and his daughter is handicapped. I knew he was the one for me :)
  • DetroitDarin
    DetroitDarin Posts: 955 Member
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    Dating while having my kids is my only option as things progress. Thus, I would have no issues with my date having kids, too.

    Here's what gets me though - after dating, and especially have marriage -

    When I get married again, my wife will be the central person in my life - yes, above my children. My wife - as chosen to be my wife - will be my number one.
  • poncho33
    poncho33 Posts: 1,511
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    Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all? :)

    Depends on why they have full custody and whether there is still active, encompassing drama with the ex-wife. Men don't usually get full custody; when they do, the wife is usually a total trainwreck. If the guy thrives on drama, I want no part of him. They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. Not my cup of tea.

    If they have full custody for reasons other than an unstable ex, then I don't mind.

    The man I am talking to does haha, his ex is in rehab for meth.

    RUN!!
  • Daisy_Cutter
    Daisy_Cutter Posts: 774
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    Dating while having my kids is my only option as things progress. Thus, I would have no issues with my date having kids, too.

    Here's what gets me though - after dating, and especially have marriage -

    When I get married again, my wife will be the central person in my life - yes, above my children. My wife - as chosen to be my wife - will be my number one.

    Well said, DD! :flowerforyou:

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