Do you let your kids go hungry or force them to eat it?

Choice #2 works if you are consistent about it. They may not like it but they will learn to eat what is served. Of course when they get into their late teens, they can go buy what ever they want - and they do. Dinner may be the only healthy thing that they eat all day.

And I do disagree that eating healthier cost more.

I cook....if my kid doesn't like what I cook, she's free to make her own meal. True, she's 17 now, but the same held true when she was 7.

Eat what I cook or don't eat. Period. DHS/CPS says you have to feed your children, it does NOT say you have to feed them what they like or want.

Same rules in my house. If you don't like what I cook, you make your own. And since I do the shopping, I do not pay for the junk foods that are not good for them. They can save their allowance for that if it is that important.

Our 12-year-old son is a pretty good eater. Luckily he is on the thin side so right now it's more about making sure he's getting enough calories in a day rather than having to limit him.

There are certain things he likes and certain things he doesn't, but thankfully things like fish, fruit, brussel sprouts, and yogurt are up there on his list. He would, however, eat pasta for every single meal if I allowed him. Dinners for us right now are usually a lean cut of meat/fish, green vegetable or salad, and a bit of starch (mostly for my son as my husband and I are watching carbs).

The rule is that our son must eat, minimally, a 'no thank you' portion (approximately 1/4 c.) of whatever I make. If he doesn't like it, fine, he doesn't have to eat any more, but I'm also not preparing him an alternative. If he is still hungry then he may have fruit, yogurt, string cheese, or a pb&j sandwich. If he won't even finish the 'no thank you' portion (which has only happened once or twice in several years), he gets sent to bed because he is either clearly not feeling well or is too tired to be rational about food.

Just because he doesn't like something doesn't mean it is taken out of our meal rotation--he still has to have a small portion the next time regardless. At restaurants he can order what he likes (although it seems to be either the pasta I never make or lobster :ohwell: ), although I still encourage him to try a taste of whatever I have ordered, especially if it's 'exotic' (like sushi).

Hi,
I'm a mom of three teenagers, so I've had some experience with this. I would never make a child eat something he truly didn't like. I just think that's cruel. With that said, I asked my boys to TRY one bite of whatever I made. Sometimes, they surprised themselves by liking something, and their tastes changed over time, so that something "icky" one week was OK a few weeks later. I also would not allow my child to pick any food of his choice to replace what I had served. The rule in our house was if you didn't like dinner, you could prepare and eat something else on your own - but it had to be something I agreed was healthy. Often my boys ate fruit or yogurt in place of some part of our meal, or they'd scramble a few eggs (by themselves!). Over time, they became less picky. None of them were big vegetable eaters but they were OK with salads, so we had them all the time. Keep the junk food out of the house for the most part, so they can't fill up on it while you're not looking.

The most important thing you can do is to offer LOTS of healthy options. Try setting out a couple types of fruit, some wheat rolls, some yogurt, etc., with the hope that there will be something on the table your kids will eat. Don't stress if your child won't eat many vegetables - instead, make sure to find some fruits they will eat and have them on hand. I discovered my kids loved baked beans - so I served them at least once a week. Just make sure there's something healthy on the menu that each child will eat.

Experiment with new recipes or new ways of cooking. I can't stand mushy steamed vegetables. But toss them with a little olive oil, salt, and pepper and roast them in a hot oven until they're crispy - and they're amazing! Try topping with a little parmesan cheese and the kids might gobble them right up. We eat roast broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, and our favorite - red potatoes with the skins still on - all the time, and it's quick and healthy. Soups are another way to slip in vegetables. My kids didn't like any chunks of veg in their soup, so I grated them so they would "dissolve" while the soup simmered. The kids didn't notice them and ate without complaint. Try doing this with onions, carrots, even zucchini. Add a can of tomato puree or black beans for more nutrients and fiber.

As far as portion control goes, I think it's important to listen to and respect the child. That's part of why I don't make a child eat what he doesn't like, but it's also why I don't make them clean their plates. I like to leave the food on the kitchen island, and we eat at the table. Each child serves himself - small portions to start - knowing that if he is still hungry he can go back for seconds. If you can manage to get some good protein, some fiber, and some healthy fat into each meal, your kids will stay satisfied for longer.

Just keep at it and don't give up. Their health depends on the habits you instill in them. Just keep trying until you find foods that work!

We have a rule...taste everything just once so you can make a better decision on whether its good or bad. I dont cook 2 meals in our house..but then again..I am blessed with children that will eat anything from alligator to chicken curry..

I have lived overseas and have had to eat foods that have been absolutely nasty (according to my taste buds). But I don't want my kids growing up thinking that all food is going to taste exactly the way they want. The rule in our house is that you have to at least try it. Then we ask what they could change about the way the food tastes. We have offered a healthy meal and then ask them what would they change about it to make it more enjoyable. Then, they can't say that we don't make food they like. Sometimes, they only ask "Can we have ketchup on the side?" That seems to be the solution for a lot of the meals and I am not sure why. Overtime, we have introduced Brazilian, Korean, Middle Eastern and Indian food to the list. Some foods are total flops. They refuse to ever eat them again or even try and modify them so they are better (and sometimes my wife and I agree that they are flops). But the kids enjoy getting involved in how the food is made and we enjoy that they are branching out to discover more food than just the hot dogs in the fridge.

they eat what i cook, if they don't like it...tough... it helps to let them cook with me gets them more interested in trying different types of food.

Let them go hungry, and I say that because that was the option I always chose as an extremely picky child--but I always tried things so that way I could definitely say I didn't like it and no one could ever dispute it--because I'd tried it. Maybe have them take a bite before they can choose to not eat it, tell them that one bite is their get out of dinner free card?

But really, you're just going to make them resent you and their food if you FORCE them to eat it, but I also think you should not make them another dinner. I used to just go hungry and then I learned to cook (between 6 and 8) and so if I never liked a meal my mom or dad made I would cook myself something.

You're definitely not going to hurt them if you let them go hungry, and since you're offering HEALTHY food to your children and they're choosing not to eat it (you're not starving them, they're being picky eaters), I don't think you'd be arrested...although I may be doing that thing I do where I have faith in the future of humanity.

Here's the scenario...
Overweight parents used to eating larger portion sizes and the wrong foods...
Very normal kids who are a mix of picky eaters and one that tends to eat more than they should, very young in age
The household is trying to change thier eating habits to healthier choices

#1 Don't argue it, healthier food is more expensive until you learn that tiny portions are the actual portion size. Again Don't argue that point, I know its accurate.

So the kids don't like beans, rice, plain veggies, not fond of the taste of some spices. Etc..... they just aren't digging the change

The adult in the house understands that this is the way food is supposed to be because they haven't yet picked up all these great ways that everyone talks about of fixing these wonderful tasting recipes.... plain is what they know plain is healthy.... becuase they are learning.

The kids think it's gross and don't want to eat it.

Choice 1: Do you let them go hungry and have them pig out at the next opportunity on the foods they like

Choice 2: Or do you sit there until they eat it, and sit through the "fake puking" or real in some cases.... crying, screaming etc.until they eat it.

Keep in mind choice 1 could get you turned in for not feeding your kids...depending on who hears the story and how DHS/CPS friendly they are.

What do you do? I have little faith that too many people will answer this but wanted to see if I'd get anything.

Thanks!

Make it a competition between the kids. Set up a 90 day tracking chart and a "Fun" Fund Jar. For every fruit or vegetable they eat, a quarter goes into the "Fun" Fund. Whichever one of them eats the mosts fruits and veggies at the end of the 90 days gets to choose an activity (maybe give them a couple of options to choose from) for the whole family to enjoy (the reward is, the WINNER gets to choose) and the "Fun" Fund helps pay for the activity.

My kid is so picky, but I make her eat when & what my boyfriend and I eat. I give her the choice to eat and then she can go play with her friends, or not eat and not get to go play with her friends.

Ok, so my son is 3 right now. We have the deal that he has to take at least 1 bite of everything on your plate. If he doesn't like something, he can pick something else to eat. But, if he doesn't at least try everything, then he doesn't get anything else. This has worked out really well for us so far. He is pretty honest as to whether he likes it or not. We figure we are going to up the number of bites as he gets older. Eventually, what I make is what you eat. I try to make foods that he likes though, or at least pair foods he likes with the new things. He tastes change, just like ours. Plus, you should continue to introduce the same food multiple times before you get a true sense if they like it or not. He eventually always eats at least that one bite of everything. We call it a "try me" bite. Kids will eat when they are hungry. Also, we do not let him not eat something we know he likes. We also have him try each thing that we have at a restaurant. That's also how he learns to like new things. In fact, last week on vacation he found out he like alligator because he tried his dads. Good luck!!

Another thing when introducing a new food, be prepared to bring the "new food" back but try cooking it a different way, I dislike boiled veggies but the same assortment of veggies steamed or broiled or roasted.... eat 'em all day long.

Sometimes it's the texture of a prep method that makes a food not be enjoyed.

Not had time to read all replies but in my house a new food is introduced alongside a food they like, they have to try the new food but if they genuinely don't like it then they're not going hungry.

My son is 8 and crazy-picky, so I do a couple of things.

1.) With new food, I do the "try it before you decide you hate it" routine.
2.) If he doesn't want what I make for meals, he can eat raw fruits/vegetables, with no dessert or snacks. I learned early on that letting him go hungry isn't going to do us or him any favors - he'll just get cranky from an empty stomach and make mine and dad's life hell.

He's at a normal weight for his size, and his doc agrees that he's pretty healthy. Over time, he's been more willing to at least try different things (case in point: he eats steamed broccoli now, and actually asked for seconds of it.)

My kids are 2 and 3. They like quinoa, homemade black bean veggie burgers, sauteed zucchini, broccoli or "little trees" asthey call them, carrots, celery, generally they like salad (think basic side salad), etc. My daughter (2) wouldn't eat meat for a long time. Instead of forcing it I found ways to work plant based proteins into her diet that she might actually like. She will now occasionally eat beef and chicken, but never pork or any other meats/fish that we've offered. She also, under NO circumstances, eats rice or mashed potatoes. Period. She refuses. My son (3) is the chow hound. If it is there he will eat it, lol. I have never given him dinner and had him refuse it.

So I don't know, I don't have a huge problem with getting them fed. They are still so young that they don't even know what they like yet. If they don't eat what I make, then they can have a fruit or veggie. Occasionally I will give them a bit of PB on whole wheat bread. But I'm not going to make a whole other dinner just to get them to eat. The food is there, it's safe to eat, they have no reason not to eat it.

I also think that sometimes they just aren't hungry. And that's fine too. I don't like being forced to eat when I'm not hungry, so I imagine they are the same.