Need kid to move on!! Advice please.

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  • kr1stadee
    kr1stadee Posts: 1,774 Member
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    I'm 27 and drop in on my parents all the time. They love it.

    I feel bad for your son.

    Tell him to clean up after himself if you are sick of it. He's a product of his upbringing, remember...

    If you don't want him around unless invited, why are you worried about hurt feelings?
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    Curious - have you tried to tell him that he's a messy little *kitten* and in your space??

    That's what my mom tells my sister, almost in those exact words lol
  • Justkf
    Justkf Posts: 208 Member
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    Curious - have you tried to tell him that he's a messy little *kitten* and in your space??

    Yeah-emailed him last week to put things back where he finds them. No reply. Then he emailed me a couple days ago asking if he can go on the family phone plan to save money. Did I mention he doesn't have a real job, is my step son and also does his laundry when we are not home? He also couch surfs because he does not want to pay "rent" anywhere.
  • Angie_1991
    Angie_1991 Posts: 447 Member
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    I guess my husband and I have a different relationship with our son..........
  • livaneah
    livaneah Posts: 34 Member
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    Tell him you want to have sex with your husband in every room in the house and you are concerned he might walk in on you. You won't have to ask for the key. He will give it to you.
    OMG that would stop my unannounced visits to the parents' house!!
  • thr33martins
    thr33martins Posts: 192 Member
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    It's probably good for him to have the key in case of emergencies, but there's no reason he should be dropping by unannounced or leaving his crap at your house. Sit him down and tell him that.

    I agree^^. I still have a key to my mother's house and I am married with two kids! But she has needed me to go and feed her cat on occasion, or pick something up/drop something by while she is at work. You never know... This is not about the key, it is about understanding boundaries!
  • allifantastical
    allifantastical Posts: 946 Member
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    Tell him you want to have sex with your husband in every room in the house and you are concerned he might walk in on you. You won't have to ask for the key. He will give it to you.

    Yup! LOL. I walked in on my mom one time....I knock before going in to the house AND any room in the house. All it takes is one time.
  • Justkf
    Justkf Posts: 208 Member
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    I'm 27 and drop in on my parents all the time. They love it.

    I feel bad for your son.

    Tell him to clean up after himself if you are sick of it. He's a product of his upbringing, remember...

    If you don't want him around unless invited, why are you worried about hurt feelings?

    I did not raise him, he is my stepson. I enjoy his company but he comes by when we are not home. I don't want to hurt his feelings because we want him to grow up and take care of his own business in his own place. I did not say I don't want him around.
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
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    Change the locks, it's your home not his.
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
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    Can't you just explain to him that you are glad he still feels so at home there but he needs to pick up after himself AND call before coming over? I'd be straightforward with him and just tell him you love him but you're not his maid/housekeeper/crash pad any longer.
  • karenwill2
    karenwill2 Posts: 604 Member
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    he is 27. Tell him the truth. Mom and Dad want to walk around naked and leave their "toys" out without worrying about having to pay for your therapy. It is for your own good, son. Give me back my key or call before coming over.
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
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    Tell him you want to have sex with your husband in every room in the house and you are concerned he might walk in on you. You won't have to ask for the key. He will give it to you.

    He is wise...

    Yup!!!
  • sarahharmintx
    sarahharmintx Posts: 868 Member
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    It's probably good for him to have the key in case of emergencies, but there's no reason he should be dropping by unannounced or leaving his crap at your house. Sit him down and tell him that.
    My parents and my in laws have keys. We have keys to their places. However, I always call ahead or at the very least knock. Tell him that.

    Or the next time you see him about to come inside, take your top off but just barely cover up. I bet he doesnt do it again.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    Tell him you want to have sex with your husband in every room in the house and you are concerned he might walk in on you. You won't have to ask for the key. He will give it to you.

    This is awesome and so true!
  • samblanken
    samblanken Posts: 369 Member
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    Tell him you want to have sex with your husband in every room in the house and you are concerned he might walk in on you. You won't have to ask for the key. He will give it to you.

    YEP! :drinker:
  • Cat52169
    Cat52169 Posts: 277 Member
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    27............with no plan of action? Couch surfing? Hell I'd hurt his feelings. It's tough love time. I'm a stepmom so I now it's not easy but be the evil stepmom tell him that you love him but he has to get his crap together.

    OR

    Change the locks. I would tell him the lock broke and you had to change them. When he asked for a key I would tell him that it may be time for him to get a job and a place of his own.
  • cici1028
    cici1028 Posts: 799 Member
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    I'm 27 and drop in on my parents all the time. They love it.

    I feel bad for your son.

    Tell him to clean up after himself if you are sick of it. He's a product of his upbringing, remember...

    If you don't want him around unless invited, why are you worried about hurt feelings?

    Yeah - doubt they "love" it. If you're 27, use your manners and call ahead. Your parents have a life and need their privacy and space too! I'm sure your parents are much like the OP and sensitive of your feelings which is why they haven't given the same message to YOU! :)
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,325 Member
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    daughters but ditto
    I guess my husband and I have a different relationship with our son..........
  • hiker359
    hiker359 Posts: 577 Member
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    Change the locks with a notice on the door informing him that he has 30 days to remove all of his stuff or it will be given to the local Salvation Army (or charity place of your choice).

    It's your house, why the need to ask permission to tell him it's time to fully leave the nest?
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
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    My guy has one that just wont leave he is almost 20... So annoying

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