Need kid to move on!! Advice please.

he is 27. Tell him the truth. Mom and Dad want to walk around naked and leave their "toys" out without worrying about having to pay for your therapy. It is for your own good, son. Give me back my key or call before coming over.

It's probably good for him to have the key in case of emergencies, but there's no reason he should be dropping by unannounced or leaving his crap at your house. Sit him down and tell him that.

My parents and my in laws have keys. We have keys to their places. However, I always call ahead or at the very least knock. Tell him that.

Or the next time you see him about to come inside, take your top off but just barely cover up. I bet he doesnt do it again.

Tell him you want to have sex with your husband in every room in the house and you are concerned he might walk in on you. You won't have to ask for the key. He will give it to you.

YEP! :drinker:

I'm 27 and drop in on my parents all the time. They love it.

I feel bad for your son.

Tell him to clean up after himself if you are sick of it. He's a product of his upbringing, remember...

If you don't want him around unless invited, why are you worried about hurt feelings?

Yeah - doubt they "love" it. If you're 27, use your manners and call ahead. Your parents have a life and need their privacy and space too! I'm sure your parents are much like the OP and sensitive of your feelings which is why they haven't given the same message to YOU!

Change the locks with a notice on the door informing him that he has 30 days to remove all of his stuff or it will be given to the local Salvation Army (or charity place of your choice).

It's your house, why the need to ask permission to tell him it's time to fully leave the nest?

I'm 27 and drop in on my parents all the time. They love it.

I feel bad for your son.

Tell him to clean up after himself if you are sick of it. He's a product of his upbringing, remember...

If you don't want him around unless invited, why are you worried about hurt feelings?

Yeah - doubt they "love" it. If you're 27, use your manners and call ahead. Your parents have a life and need their privacy and space too! I'm sure your parents are much like the OP and sensitive of your feelings which is why they haven't given the same message to YOU!

hahahah YES!!!!!

Maybe video will work.. before and after... Have the this will stop talk ONCE then if that does not work, go to home depot and re-key the doors.

Well, I don't see this as an issue. You are the parent and it's YOUR home, not his anymore. I think this needs to be made obvious to him. Of course, you don't have to say it "meanly", but ... geesh... I'm sort of surprised he needs to be told at 27. Just say, 'Hon, your Dad and I prefer that you not drop uannounced or when we're not here. You are an adult now and we need our space, just as much as you need yours. We love you and love seeing you, but I am no longer the mother that picks up after you. (chuckle). If you want to borrow something, please ask. And, when you are done with it, make sure it is in the same - or better - shape as we when you took it. Or... did I forget to teach you that? *wink* It's no less than I would do if I was coming to your house/apt/whatever."

I did have a key to my parent's house, well, until the time they no longer resided there, but I did not disrespect or misuse it. I lived out of town, which I'm sure was helpful. But, if I planned on visiting, I called and asked. And, when I was there, particularly if I had arrived while they were out, I tried to HELP them with anything that wouldn't be "intrusive"... mow the lawn, fold the laundry, whatever. Although I still considered their house my "home", I knew that I was a guest.. and not a pampered guest, either!

To the OP: I think it is completely reasonable to sit down with your husband and stepson and let him know that you feel great that he feels so comfortable in your home but you would prefer to set some boundaries now that he is an adult... that he surrenders the key, calls ahead when he comes to visit and that you're ready for him to start treating your home more as a place to visit than a place to 'crash'.

I'll be honest, my parents never had to have this conversation with me because I respected their space and realized that their home is NOT my home...This WILL probably hurt his feelings. But he's a big boy and should be old enough to hear this. Parents are parents forever... but there is a point when it is time to realize that parents aren't a free ride and it's time to grow up! Good luck!! Tell us how it works out!

Easy just be naked.next time he randomly stops by! Lol he will make sure to start calling next time

Tell him you want to have sex with your husband in every room in the house and you are concerned he might walk in on you. You won't have to ask for the key. He will give it to you.

jejejejejejejejejej :laugh: :laugh:

How about just telling him you don't appreciate the way he is disrespecting your privacy? Just because he's your child doesn't give him free reign to come and go as he pleases - especially at 27!

It's part of growing up. Suck it up buttercup.

I second this. I'm 27, have a key to both my parents' houses, and I ALWAYS let them know before I come over. My dad still lives in the home I grew up in (with his new wife) and I wouldn't imagine bombarding their life by making unexpected visits. Sounds like you need to have a talk with your son about how he's a guest in your home now that he has moved out on his own.

I'm 29 and moved out of my parent's house 6 years ago (when I was finally able to get a real job...don't ask...long story). I still have a key and I stop by here and there. My parents both tell me all the time that they're thrilled that I stop by--and they continue to remind me that I'm welcome to do so. My sister still lives at home, too, so I realize my situation is a bit different.

There's no way it would hurt my feelings if my parents sat me down at some point and told me that the wanted me to call ahead. I completely respect their privacy. Then again, I don't abuse the privileged of being allowed to stop by.

Open lines of communication are crucial in maintaining boundaries and relationships. Talk to him...it may be what he needs.

change the locks and keep forgetting to get him a replacement key? (passive aggressive)

or, sit down and tell hiim exactly what you posted here.