5 Questions About Your Divorce

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Replies

  • August_1958
    August_1958 Posts: 110 Member
    1. yes
    2. no, but it was ugly at times
    3. no
    4. no, but disappointed that it never worked out after all the years together
    5. absolutely NOT. I got his name because I married him. I felt it was the only right thing to do, to return it when we divorced.
    Plus... why keep it for your children's sake? 99% of the time, the female will remarry anyway and it will be changed in the future. And if you change your name back to your maiden name "in" the divorce, it does not cost anything to have it changed.
  • jkandktmom
    jkandktmom Posts: 1,010 Member
    1. Did you split amicably
    2. Did you kill each other during the process
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating
    4. Do you regret your decision
    5. Did you keep your married name?

    1. It started oout pretty good and then got really really bad.
    2. Yes. Honestly with all the fighting, bickering, anme-calling we killed anything we once shared.
    3. Yes. I forgave hime the first two times, three strikes and you're out!
    4. NO!!!
    5. No. I know a lot of people do for the kids but I just couldn't....
  • samblanken
    samblanken Posts: 369 Member
    1. Did you split amicably
    2. Did you kill each other during the process
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating
    4. Do you regret your decision
    5. Did you keep your married name?

    1. No.
    2. I wanted to. And I thought he would do something to me or our dogs
    3. Yep. Then a few years after out divorce the woman that ended our marriage apologized to me. Said she had my ring (yes he gave her my engagement ring) and that she was going lesbo. We're good friends now, and no I'm not making it up. If it hadn't happened to me I swear it would have been a Jerry Springer episode.
    4. NO WAY!
    5. NO WAY! Now if you have kids, that is a reason to keep it, or so some people say.
  • ...
  • smuehlbauer
    smuehlbauer Posts: 1,041 Member
    1) Yes
    2) no
    3) Yes
    4) Not at all
    5) No. I don't think it's a good idea, even if there are kids involved.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    #1
    1. Did you split amicably ? Nope
    2. Did you kill each other during the process ? Nope
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating ? We were both guilty of that.
    4. Do you regret your decision ? Nope
    5. Did you keep your married name? Yep

    #2
    1. Did you split amicably ? Yep
    2. Did you kill each other during the process ? Nope. Never saw her again after she walked out the door.
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating ? I don't know. Don't think so.
    4. Do you regret your decision ? Wasn't my decision
    5. Did you keep your married name? Yep

    #3
    1. Did you split amicably ? Civilized. Not necessarily amicably.
    2. Did you kill each other during the process ? Nope.
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating ? She may have. Never caught her.
    4. Do you regret your decision ? Wasn't my decision
    5. Did you keep your married name? Yep
  • purpleroadrunner
    purpleroadrunner Posts: 252 Member
    1. Did you split amicably
    2. Did you kill each other during the process
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating
    4. Do you regret your decision
    5. Did you keep your married name?

    1. yes
    2. no
    3. no
    4. yes
    5. she took mine
  • lisag2007
    lisag2007 Posts: 130
    #1 - Not at the time, but we are now friends.

    Must have hit wrong button...see below for the rest.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    1. Initially it was heart wrenching, but we are on great terms now. I even like his new wife!
    2.Did you kill each other. . .I decided early on that I had to forgive him for the hurtful things he was doing and ask to be forgiven for the ways I failed him as a wife. Why? Because if we didn't forgive each other we'd be bitter nasty and continually hurftful. Our daughter deserved W-A-Y better than that!
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating. . .ultimately he fell in love with someone else and wanted out. But, if our relationship had been solid, he wouldn't have needed to look for love.
    4. I regret that I couldn't give my daughter an intact home. However, God blessed me with an amazing new husband and family and we are solid and our children have the best we can possibly give them. . .now.
    5. I kept my married name. It's a huge pain in the @ss to change names. And, my daughter had that name so it was just easier.
  • mandy0688
    mandy0688 Posts: 335 Member
    1. Did you split amicably
    2. Did you kill each other during the process
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating
    4. Do you regret your decision
    5. Did you keep your married name?


    1. we are fighting constantly
    2. I want to kill him all the time especially when he calls and starts BS
    3. Yes, he decided that he wanted to get with some girl while i was working and supporting him. He was a diabetic and relied on me to give him every shot and prick his finger each time. I was his wife not his nurse then when he cheated on me, since we split he has been in the hospital over 25 times. And he has had this disease for years.
    4. I don't regret this decision at all, it was the best decision of my life because for the first time, I am happier.
    5.I still have his last name and now i am engaged no sense in changing to my maiden then getting married again and changing it again.
  • JAllen32
    JAllen32 Posts: 991 Member
    1. Did you split amicably
    2. Did you kill each other during the process
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating
    4. Do you regret your decision
    5. Did you keep your married name?

    1. Not really.
    2. No, but it wasn't easy.
    3. No.
    4. Not a bit.
    5. Nope, changed it as soon as I could.
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,252 Member
    1 and 3... I found out he was cheating shortly after he told me he wasnt happy. However we had to very small children and I refused to use them as pawns. We were great friends before we got married and are good friends now. The kids spend 50/50 time one week at my house one week at his. We make all the decisions regarding the kids together and we enforce each others punishments. I never speak badly about him infront of my children. Dont get my wrong there are the occasional hiccups but for the most part everything works well. I never took his last name so I didn't have to worry about changing it back
  • jennaworksout
    jennaworksout Posts: 1,739 Member
    1. Did you split amicably - Yes
    2. Did you kill each other during the process - No
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating - No
    4. Do you regret your decision - No
    5. Did you keep your married name? - No

    best decision I ever made :)
  • lisag2007
    lisag2007 Posts: 130
    1. Did you split amicably - Not at the time...now we are friends.
    2. Did you kill each other during the process - I wanted to sometimes.
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating - Yes...he cheated on my with someone I thought was a friend.
    4. Do you regret your decision - No, I have found a wonderful man to be my husband and we have a great son together.
    5. Did you keep your married name? - Yes, I did. Too much hassle to change it.
  • lobster888
    lobster888 Posts: 861 Member
    1. Did you split amicably - No
    2. Did you kill each other during the process - No, but there were time that I truely wished one of us was dead - Just being honest
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating - No, but he said I did, then was dating a woman whose brother he hunted with out of state for the last 15 years within a month of us being seperated - lots of questions there - but they are married now!!!
    4. Do you regret your decision - No No No
    5. Did you keep your married name? - Yes because I have a son and he was in school and I wanted us to have the same last name.

    Divorce is hard, but in my case it was the best thing I ever did for myself. I wish that had not been the case, but it was a very abusive relationship. I spent my time after my divorce on rasing my son and healing myself.
    I remarried 10 years later to the most wonderful man ever - he is a true blessing in my life.
  • chelledawg14
    chelledawg14 Posts: 509 Member
    1. Did you split amicably - yes; we are still good friends
    2. Did you kill each other during the process - not at all; did our divorce through the mail; we cried, hugged at each step
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating - I met someone else, but we were already in a bad place & just waiting for it to happen; love each other to this day, but our personalities are so different it wasn't going to work in the long run
    4. Do you regret your decision - yes; he is a great man - we were together 19 yrs, married for 16 yrs 11 mos. i got remarried pretty quick & he did a year ago; our daughter has always been even between us - he is a fantastic dad; we were too young when engaged and married (at 21 and 23) and I just broke up with my first boyfriend when we met. love my ex like I will love no other. I know he will still be there for me in the end, probably more so than current husband of six years. I am very happy that he has found happiness with new wife (and I really like her, too).
    5. Did you keep your married name? I would have if I hadn't gotten remarried so soon after.

    NOTE: My lesson was I should have tried marriage counseling when he wanted; I was too embarrassed to try it. THAT is my biggest regret. Ended up marrying an addict (unknown at the time) and ended up getting counseling, going to Alanon, and still have struggles. I have grown up a lot since my divorce!
  • Kristhin
    Kristhin Posts: 442 Member
    1. Did you split amicably...no.
    2. Did you kill each other...I threatened to once but no, there wasn't any violence but there was some screaming.
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating...partially
    4. Do you regret your decision...no. Now I have a husband that I'm really happy with and I'm not lonely.
    5. Did you keep your married name...no.
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
    1. Did you split amicably
    - sort of...in a passive aggressive way
    2. Did you kill each other during the process
    - No, but it's been tempting plenty of times.
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating
    - Yes
    4. Do you regret your decision
    - NEVER
    5. Did you keep your married name?
    - NEver took his name so still have the same name I grew up with.
    [/quote]
  • PlaysLikeAGirl
    PlaysLikeAGirl Posts: 22 Member
    1. Did you split amicably
    - Yes and no. He was very, very bitter for about a year and a half. Once he got a new girlfriend, he calmed down.
    2. Did you kill each other during the process
    - He became a monster. He was a very sweet, quiet guy with no backbone, and then he turned into the Hulk and did everything he could to hurt me or make me uncomfortable.
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating
    - No, I was no longer in love with him.
    4. Do you regret your decision
    - Not once. I wish that I would have gone about it in a better, more polite way, but I don't regret the actual decision.
    5. Did you keep your married name?
    - Nope, took back my maiden name as soon as it was finalized, it felt like returning home.

    I hope everything is going ok with you, and if you need any support, we are always here to talk things through!
  • GeekGirl23
    GeekGirl23 Posts: 517 Member
    1. Did you split amicably: NOOOOO
    2. Did you kill each other during the process: No he was too lazy and let me do all the paper work... needless to say I got all the furniture and he got half the bills
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating: Yes, when I caught him he didn't admit it and the next day said he was done with me and left. I found out months later he was fooling around with my co-workers at our work. And he had the nerve to stalk me after our divorce which ended up getting him shiz canned.
    4. Do you regret your decision: To divorce... no... for marrying him just so I could move out of my dad's house... YES
    5. Did you keep your married name? I ditched that the second I could.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    1. That's a tough question. We were both glad to have it over. But we don't talk anymore.
    2. He hates my guts now. He tried his damndest to screw me... but I didn't let him... which is why I think he hates my guts.
    3. Cheating was involved (on both sides), but it was only a symptom of a much greater more compounded problem.
    4. I regret that it had to end... but it had to.
    5. Yes. We have children together and it just makes it easier if we have the same last name.
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    1. Did you split amicably - I suppose the initial split was peaceful enough. She left while I was in Somolia. I came home (Germany) to an empty apartment.

    2. Did you kill each other during the process - IIt was the only time in my life that I ever gave serious thought to murdering someone. I had the entire thing planned except how to explain my absence in Germany. A friend finally talked me out of it.

    3. Was the divorce due to cheating - Absolutly it was. On her part. She became the local party favor.

    4. Do you regret your decision - The only regret I have is not divorcing her the first time I caught her. My second regret is not divorcing her the SECOND time I caught her.

    5. Did you keep your married name? - She kept mine until she got remarried.
  • BR3ANDA
    BR3ANDA Posts: 622 Member
    1. Did you split amicably-no
    2. Did you kill each other during the process-no, but my Dad wanted to kill him, literally, my dad was chief of police at the time and had a whole station full of police officers to help him out.
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating-no, he was an abusive a**hole
    4. Do you regret your decision - no way, now how.
    5. Did you keep your married name? - not even, thats where I got the most satisfaction, taking my maiden name back, because it hurt him the most, after the physical pain he caused it was the least I could do.
  • gmn728
    gmn728 Posts: 18 Member
    1. Did you split amicably ? Not really i hated him
    2. Did you kill each other during the process ? No he moved out of state and I didn't hear from him
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating ? Cheating lying stealing... all on his part
    4. Do you regret your decision ? No it was the best decision I ever made
    5. Did you keep your married name? I did for a while because my 2 year old had that name... but after not hearing from or seeing my ex... for over a year.. I decided to change back to my maiden name and I changed my 2 year old's name too....
  • violet456
    violet456 Posts: 674 Member
    1. Did you split amicably: We tried it, but in the end no, a restraining order was almost required.
    2. Did you kill each other during the process: Almost - The heart break killed him two years later.
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating - Nope
    4. Do you regret your decision - I had a moment of sentiment as packing up his stuff. Then I found cocain supplies. That solidified the decision.
    5. Did you keep your married name? Nope - barely had one I had hyphenated. I took back my maiden very quickly.

    Was married 8 years.
  • Spicydeene
    Spicydeene Posts: 37 Member
    1. Did you split amicably - Yes.
    2. Did you kill each other during the process. Nope - went really smooth.
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating - Yes, and a long time addiction issue came back into play and didn't want to remain sober.
    4. Do you regret your decision - Nope!! I found the RIGHT one soon after!
    5. Did you keep your married name? Yes, for professional reasons.
  • Shelbert79
    Shelbert79 Posts: 510 Member
    1. Did you split amicably?
    No, he wanted me to stay, I realized I didn't love him anymore, no matter how much he changed, went to drug rehab or went to anger management. (although I did encourage him to seek treatment for himself)

    2. Did you kill each other during the process?
    I moved out (with our daughter) 2 days after I told him I wanted a divorce, it took over a year and a half to get the divorce finalized because he was being difficult. So, yeah, we were ready to kill eachother

    3. Was the divorce due to cheating?
    No, I did have a one night fling that he's still unaware of but it wasn't the cause of the divorce. It was an eye opener and made me rethink things

    4. Do you regret your decision?
    HELL NO! The only thing I regret is getting married to him in the first place. I thought getting married and having a baby would make him grow up, it didn't.

    5. Did you keep your married name?
    Yes, but only because I was getting remarried w/in 10 months of the divorce being finalized. (And NOT with the person I had the fling with)
  • mariposa224
    mariposa224 Posts: 1,241 Member
    1. Did you split amicably
    2. Did you kill each other during the process
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating
    4. Do you regret your decision
    5. Did you keep your married name?
    1. No, but we can deal with each other mostly now. We even attempted another time through, unsuccessfully.
    2. I'm still alive, or I wouldn't be typing... And if I had killed him, methinks I'd be in prison... (ETA: Our divorce took a year and a half & all we were fighting over was custody of our infant son. It was very bad & costly. And I think he would've liked to have killed me, repeatedly if he could have.)
    3. No.
    4. Not after the second time through, no way. But I didn't want the divorce, he did.
    5. Yes, because we share a son.
  • 1. Did you split amicably
    2. Did you kill each other during the process
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating
    4. Do you regret your decision
    5. Did you keep your married name?

    1. He walked out and I didn't chase him so yeah I guess that's amicable.
    2. Still going through the process but as of yet, neither one of us is dead.
    3. Not on my part.
    4. HE decided it.
    5. As of right now, I do not have any intention of changing my name back.
  • 1. Did you split amicably - Not really. I didn't want to but I did, and he didn't want to at all.
    2. Did you kill each other during the process - No. He just can't ever speak with me directly about anything, not even in email. It all goes through a third party so he doesn't have to deal with me.
    3. Was the divorce due to cheating - No, although that doesn't stop him from saying that it was.
    4. Do you regret your decision - Never. It wasn't healthy for either of us and I feel that we're both better off now.
    5. Did you keep your married name? - Nope. I wasn't really planning to, but I had to change it right away. He kept sending all of my papers certified to my maiden name knowing I wouldn't be home to sign for them. Having a different last name on my ID meant the post office wouldn't release the documents to me.