Ladies, How do I show my wife I love her?

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  • jgm379
    jgm379 Posts: 97 Member
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    The bible states that men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This is a tremendous calling for all men who claim to be Christian husbands. Without disclosing specifics, let me just say that, I try my best but sometimes I neglect my wife and fall short of her expectations. So instead of me guessing and falling short, what can I do to continuously affirm to my wife that I love her?

    Yeah, and It also says wives are to submit to their husbands, as men shall submit to the Lord. So does she continously affirm that she will submit to you?

    As for advice, it depends if you want the Christian or secular/practical perspective. (No, I am not Christian anymore.)

    They have 6 kids what do you think?????????????????
  • Rubie81
    Rubie81 Posts: 720 Member
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    This sounds sexist, and really old-fashioned, and I don't mean it to be either way (I'm a diehard tomboy myself). But over the years I've found that when the guy I love DOES things for me, i.e. laundry, dinner, tucks the kids in, cleans the bathroom... it takes such a huge load of stress off me and then I actually feel calm enough to be loving towards him. We're all so burdened by the daily tasks of life, and if someone helps lift those burdens a bit it's amazing how we open up to each other.

    Also, compliments are so important. Women know that you find us pretty, sexy, sweet, etc. But we need to hear it sometimes.

    And finally, for the ladies - both of the above things are true for men too - they need help w/ stuff to ease stress and they need compliments too. Just let 'em get those jars open and kill the spiders, so they don't feel less-than-manly. ;)

    ^ THIS
  • Mrsjenningsjr
    Mrsjenningsjr Posts: 149 Member
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    From a Christ perspective...take a week and at night while the two of you are laying in the bed, I would read the word to her. I would start with the book Song of Songs...nice stuff. Afterall, you are commissioned to wash her in the word so what could be a greater action of love than reading her God's promises!
  • chatipati1
    chatipati1 Posts: 211 Member
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    Put her first. If you don't, you will fall short on anything else you do.
  • cbeutler
    cbeutler Posts: 667 Member
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    shiny new frying pan!

    And a new vacuum?
  • miadvh
    miadvh Posts: 290 Member
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    I have this problem with my husband. I can tell you what would make me happier:

    The looks that say "I need you" or "I want you"
    To have a compliment everyday, like, you look beautiful, dinner was amazing, you are a great wife, things like that.
    The occasional sweet note, thinking of you, I love you, can't wait to hold you when I get home, miss you already, etc.
    Touching, not necessarily sexual, but, caressing, like when she's cooking and you just walk up and put your arms around her, or the occasional hand hold, hand on the knee, etc.
    I kiss and an I love you everyday, and not at certain times, randomly, just out of no where, then it doesn't seem like habit.
    Gifts are pretty low on my list, but the occasional flower is nice.

    Hope this helps.

    Yes, yes and yes.
    Now someone please share this with my husband too..
  • kooltray87
    kooltray87 Posts: 501 Member
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    I would love if my man watched my favorite chick flick tv shows and movies with me WITHOUT complaining....really its the little things we love. Also, a little spontaneity never hurts. Surprise her with something you don't usually do.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
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    compliment her daily. But never the same thing in one week.
    really look at her. in a "I want you in bed naked. right now." kinda way.
    Do 1 chore every day.
    Do your share with out having to be nagged.
    I'm a stay at home mom, and I do the majority of the house work. One day my husband asked if there was anything i would like for him to do. "If there was just one chore..it would be to take the trash out" and he did...for about a month. He does take it to the curb every week, though.

    surprise her with something on Mondays. or even just once a month. It doesn't have to be elaborate. It can be you making dinner (if you're afraid of the kitchen in-box me) bring her just a flower, get her car detailed, give her a massage. do "that task" she's been nagging you about for a long time. To the point where she pretty much stopped nagging you.

    Arrange "date nights" from getting the sitter, to planning what you're doing. try to find something other than the old stand-by. Halloween is coming... fields of screams is always great! or a maize maze
  • madblondebint
    madblondebint Posts: 17 Member
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    Tell her you love her ....My husband is the most unromantic person on this earth, and works away most of the week, but everytime he calls me he always tells me he loves me, and the smile in his eyes when he comes home tells me its true.
  • pj12string
    pj12string Posts: 128 Member
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    I'd say communicate. Be consistent. Even when you're at your weakest moment (maybe tired from work or whatever your situation is), tell her how you feel (you love her, she's beautiful, or whatever). Think of the small things that used to make her happy and get back to that (rubbing her back/feet, doing dinner, helping with laundry/kids) or whatever. Try not to make it seem like this is a JOB, it should be natural.

    Sometimes it can feel like a job. I guess that it is though, when you really think about it. I'll tell you the truth, it is not natural for me. It is a job, but like any job if you become comfortable at the job you neglect to grow and continue to do it well. So I need to be more consistently aware of my role and follow through on these little things, even when I'm tired or cranky.
  • xSakura
    xSakura Posts: 288 Member
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    I'm not at all religious, but the key thing in any relationship is respect.

    Communication, consideration, those kinda things... Treat her how you'd like to be treated :smile:
  • savannahjo92
    savannahjo92 Posts: 34
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    Well, first off, it is so refreshing to see scripture on here and to see a man working to make his wife happy by pleasing the Lord. I just read a post from a girl who was looking to please her Husband and wow at the comments these men put on there. :/ Makes me sad.
    Anyhow, I just got married in June and I have learned a enormous amount. I thought this was going to be easy and I would always be happy... However, God is using our marriage to teach me each and every day. Marriage is the best thing in the world! I love being married and I love my Hubby to death!
    I believe it would be easy to give a girl advice since I have been working at being a better wife but I can give you some advice that comes from what I would be happy to see in my man. (If that makes any sense at all)

    I don't know what kind of man you are.. How you spend your time or what not.. But I know what my hubby is like and I know most men are kind of the same when it comes to general "man stuff" so...

    Listen and talk to her.. There is nothing I love more than to spend time with my husband. I'm worried I may the the too clingy type but I absolutely love him.
    I love it when he truly listens to me. He'll repeat back what I said... He seems very interested in it. (Which most of the time it's not interesting at all!) lol
    Laughing - There's nothing better than both of us lying on the couch focusing on one another.. My Husband, well, he's an xboxer.. :/ (Drives me crazy, I would take a bat to that thing if I didn't think he would go buy another one) :P But I love it when I come in the house, he turns it off and we just hang out with each other...
    Be a man after God's heart! - I love to see My husband really seeking the Lord. Being the spiritual leader. Making smart, God fearing decisions! It's incredible how much that grows my love for him!
    Give up your right!! - (I say this b/c that is what I'm focusing on as a wife right now.) In a marriage, I've learned that it's all about losing yourself and letting the other person win. When I decide to lay down my pride and say, "I'm sorry" or "You're right" it is amazing how that turns the whole situation around!!! Instead of us lashing back and forth going on and on and we're both not going to back down, just ask yourself, how much do I love her?? Does this even matter? and then say your sorry!

    Well I guess that's all I can think of right now. I hope it makes sense! :)
    Also, these 2 books have been incredible in our relationship. For the guy: "Every Man's Marriage" And for your wife, "Every Woman's Marriage" I haven't read "Every Man's Marriage" but my husband said it is soo helpful!! I have read "Every Womans Marriage" and oh my, it is so convicting!! It's amazing.. I love it. SO very helpful!! I can imagine Every Man's Marriage is the same! :)
  • katapple
    katapple Posts: 1,108 Member
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    Buy the book 5 love languages

    http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

    Love her the way she need to be loved. There is no one size fit all here. For me Acts of Service is my love language.........for my bf is it physical touch. If I love him the way I want to be loved....it won't work because we do not speak the same love language.

    ditto!
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    When she looks at you.
    Does she know the world stops?
    If she doesn't work a little harder!
  • junejadesky
    junejadesky Posts: 524 Member
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    Simply ask her: what can I do to make your day eaiser today my love? (but then do it)
  • millions0fpeaches
    millions0fpeaches Posts: 195 Member
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    Do this. I would suggest using correct grammar also, but that's just me.
  • FitFrazzle
    FitFrazzle Posts: 173
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    Listen!
  • GeekGirl23
    GeekGirl23 Posts: 517 Member
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    #1 learn to cook a mean spagetti or taco dinner
    #2 ALWAYS compliment her
    #3 Do something you know needs to be done WITHOUT waiting so long she needs to ask (my hubs is still working on this one :P)
    #4 Date Night!!!
  • pj12string
    pj12string Posts: 128 Member
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    Another thing is... you should make everyday Valentines Day. Not just Feb 14th. Don't say it, but show it 365,

    - Wow, that's good. Not easy, and probably not going to happen, but definitely something to strive for.
  • LittleBallofFurr
    LittleBallofFurr Posts: 242 Member
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    Watch the movie Fireproof, some of the best advice you will get. Way to be trying, wish more men did :)

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