Ladies, How do I show my wife I love her?

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Replies

  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    Small, even-pressure, circular motions.
  • gigglemachine
    gigglemachine Posts: 82 Member
    For me, it's the little things that make me feel loved;

    - bringing me cups of coffee and hot chocolate
    - asking how my day was and listening even if he's not interested
    - suprising me with a home cooked meal or taking me out every so often
    - getting a film for us to watch and cosy up on the sofa
    - getting up early at the weekend to go buy my favourite newspaper and yummy breakfast foods for breakfast in bed
    - joining me in my hobbies sometimes or asking about them and seeming interested
    - talking and listening to me when i seem upset or angry or not myself

    there's loads more too.

    Just out of interest, are you sure it is you that is falling short or are your wifes expectations too high? Marriage is a two way process, you both need to work at it.
  • janlee_001
    janlee_001 Posts: 309 Member
    The bible states that men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This is a tremendous calling for all men who claim to be Christian husbands. Without disclosing specifics, let me just say that, I try my best but sometimes I neglect my wife and fall short of her expectations. So instead of me guessing and falling short, what can I do to continuously affirm to my wife that I love her? What would you want most from your husband? Any suggestions?

    Ephesians 5

    You got the first part down - you need to show.

    Listen - it's crucial - don't just hear but listen deeply. Know her needs, wants and act on them without being asked.

    Communicate - don't tell white lies to appease her (we see right through that and it irks us)

    Set a Godly example.

    Also have you heard of the 5 love languages? It would help to know hers.
    Treat her like a lady - open car/building doors
  • bii14
    bii14 Posts: 192
    I have this problem with my husband. I can tell you what would make me happier:

    The looks that say "I need you" or "I want you"
    To have a compliment everyday, like, you look beautiful, dinner was amazing, you are a great wife, things like that.
    The occasional sweet note, thinking of you, I love you, can't wait to hold you when I get home, miss you already, etc.
    Touching, not necessarily sexual, but, caressing, like when she's cooking and you just walk up and put your arms around her, or the occasional hand hold, hand on the knee, etc.
    I kiss and an I love you everyday, and not at certain times, randomly, just out of no where, then it doesn't seem like habit.
    Gifts are pretty low on my list, but the occasional flower is nice.

    Hope this helps.

    yes yes yes!
  • TxAngel79
    TxAngel79 Posts: 318 Member
    I have this problem with my husband. I can tell you what would make me happier:

    The looks that say "I need you" or "I want you"
    To have a compliment everyday, like, you look beautiful, dinner was amazing, you are a great wife, things like that.
    The occasional sweet note, thinking of you, I love you, can't wait to hold you when I get home, miss you already, etc.
    Touching, not necessarily sexual, but, caressing, like when she's cooking and you just walk up and put your arms around her, or the occasional hand hold, hand on the knee, etc.
    I kiss and an I love you everyday, and not at certain times, randomly, just out of no where, then it doesn't seem like habit.
    Gifts are pretty low on my list, but the occasional flower is nice.

    Hope this helps.



    This!!
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    I'm no Dr. Phil, but I'm pretty sure "Please don't discuss the intimate details of our personal life on a public Internet forum" is probably high on her list. ;)






    (Typos)
  • laarae
    laarae Posts: 332 Member
    I have been married to my husband 26 years and when he does little things like surprise me with flowers, or has dinner ready when I get home from my workout, fills my car up with gas, always kisses me good morning, good bye, good night, lets me pick what we are watching on TV, does stuff he hates to do (go dancing) gives me encouragement on all goals, thanks me, many other also, these are the things I cherish about him.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Women are different so the answers you get will vary. I'd suggest you judge her reaction to the things you do. If she smiles or blushes, do that more often. If she breathes a heavy sigh or rolls her eyes, best not to do that too often.

    And for goodness sake, if she has made a special effort to doll herself up for an occasion, act as if the most glamorous woman in the world just walked in the room when you see her. Even if you don't like the dress.
  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member
    Keep out of the way when Tom visits!
  • megalin9
    megalin9 Posts: 771 Member
    I second and third and fourth the 5 Love Languages book. It's on my list of things to read, as well.

    Personally, I feel loved when my husband is affectionate, which is he is not, and when he tells me I'm beautiful, which he does not....but he realizes it's something I need, and he's working on it. :) I also feel loved when he takes out the trash without having to be asked, when he picks up the kids' toys in the living room without being asked, when he communicates with me about anything and everything, when he volunteers to pick our kids up from school, when he supports my fitness efforts by watching the kids so I can go for a run, when he laughs at something I say or do, when he works his *kitten* off to support our family. I don't need gifts or surprises, but I love getting flowers for our anniversary/birthday/Valentine's Day.
  • chelledawg14
    chelledawg14 Posts: 509 Member
    Say I Love You everyday.

    Don't take advantage of - pick up your socks, carry things up/down the steps, when you finish the salt, pepper, etc and it needs refiled, then do it yourself and don't save it for her. Carry your clothes to the laundry. Do things without being asked. Don't do what a lot of men do and refer to their wives or gf as "crazy" when they voice their opinion or ask you a question. LISTEN & try not to do the infamous "focal tune-out" to your wife's voice. Random notes with even a smiley face. A random text will work to with a "just thinking of you"... it doesn't really take much - at least not for me. Respect is what I would cherish most.
  • sarahharmintx
    sarahharmintx Posts: 868 Member
    Liquor. Then lick her.

    Oh and cook her dinner.

    Im totally going to send my husband to this board post.
  • megalin9
    megalin9 Posts: 771 Member
    You_Are_Under_Attack_Now_thumb_zps4c62cb92.jpg
    Do this. I would suggest using correct grammar also, but that's just me.

    Oh my goodness, I love this!
  • pj12string
    pj12string Posts: 128 Member
    Give her the high, hard one. Always works for me...

    I've got 6 children, I've got to be careful with that one...
  • CoolKid16
    CoolKid16 Posts: 2
    Why are you asking us? There's like a ton of people on here with a ton of different views and feelings on how you should treat/love your wife. If youre a Christian then go to the Bible for your answers don't ask the internet.
  • landay
    landay Posts: 43 Member
    I would suggest reading the Love Languages book with her, and asking her to identify what makes her feel the most loved by you, since we are all different. I can tell you that I would have LOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEDDDD it if my husband had ever asked me what he could do to make me feel loved. LOOOOVVVVEEED it. Your interest alone would say alot to her.
  • ajh1014
    ajh1014 Posts: 80 Member
    Buy the book 5 love languages

    http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

    Love her the way she need to be loved. There is no one size fit all here. For me Acts of Service is my love language.........for my bf is it physical touch. If I love him the way I want to be loved....it won't work because we do not speak the same love language.

    This! We read this book before we got married (17 years ago) and I always think back to it. For me it's the physical touch and for him it's the acts of service. It helps if you both read it and discuss it so you are sure what the other person is. Don't guess.
  • Bonita_Lynne_58
    Bonita_Lynne_58 Posts: 2,794 Member
    shiny new frying pan!

    And a new vacuum?

    He asked how to show her he loves her...not how to spoil her....No new vacuum!
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    So...showing her your boner isn't saying "I love you"? I'm confused.
  • Syndri
    Syndri Posts: 46 Member
    Ask about her day and actually listen when she replies
  • landay
    landay Posts: 43 Member
    Ok - I see now that I wasn't the first to suggest the love languages book. That's definitely what you should do.:smile:
  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member

    2. Put the seat down and do not pee on it.

    With three women living with me, I don't even try standing anymore
  • Miche11e5
    Miche11e5 Posts: 114 Member
    Buy the book 5 love languages

    http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

    Love her the way she need to be loved. There is no one size fit all here. For me Acts of Service is my love language.........for my bf is it physical touch. If I love him the way I want to be loved....it won't work because we do not speak the same love language.

    ^^ This. Get the book. You should both read it so you can learn eachother's "language".
  • PhoenixBlaise
    PhoenixBlaise Posts: 63 Member
    My husband kisses my forehead when he see's me, holds my hand when we're grocery shopping, tucks in my shoulder when we lay down for bed, never leaves the toilet seat up. Knows everything about me down to what underwear I like to buy, knows what I want for birthday dinner without asking, pats my bum when I'm in the kitchen, gets up so I can have the comfy spot in the living room, texts me when we're not together, lets me know he got to work safely and calls me when he leaves to come home. He sticks up for me, is my biggest fan, doesn't ***** about me to his friends... and a whole lot more! It's the little things. :)
  • marieautumn
    marieautumn Posts: 928 Member
    cash money.
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
    Married 38 years now.

    What I want? Hold my hand when we walk through the parking lot or wherever. Say "I love you" before I do, not only as a response to me saying it first. Let me know you still want me.

    What he already does right? Supports me 100% in my weight loss journey (and loved me even at my biggest). Exercises with me. Pays attention to what I'm eating or need to eat to get my calories for the day. Is busting his behind to find a job so I'm not the sole income. Goes to church with me. Because he's currently unemployed, cleans and cooks. Is a great father and grandfather. I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. Good luck!
  • KickassAugust
    KickassAugust Posts: 1,430 Member
    Lap dance?

    Porn?

    Get her a pet?

    No really you should just ask her what makes her happy.. then decide from there which kind of porn is best..!

    Good Luck
  • pj12string
    pj12string Posts: 128 Member
    I would tell you, but seeing as you're a religious man, I doubt it's something you would consider.

    Hmmm... maybe not with you, but with my wife, anything goes. :laugh:
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    Touching, not necessarily sexual, but, caressing, like when she's cooking and you just walk up and put your arms around her...

    Or, if you want to get kicked in the junk, you can do this, I guess. It's romanticized in movies. 'I'm stirring soup and you've got your arms around my waist and it's so sweet and I'm totally gonna remember this and give you good lovin' later...' but honestly, I'm focused on something and if you don't want me to burn it, I'd suggest moving back. No, further.

    Honestly, everyone is different. Have you tried asking HER how you can make her feel more appreciated?
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
    Don't know if anyone said this already, but read the book 5 Love Languages. There is a test that couples can take in order to find out their love language http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/30-second-quizzes/love/ Everyone has different love languages whether it be acts of service, physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation and/or gifts. So the both of you take the quiz and find out what it is and learn to speak it! Good luck!

    Edited: I see that it already has been mentioned! Oh well! Worth repeating!
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