Dressing revealing & Self Respect
Replies
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I'm torn....
On one hand.... wear what you like. I'm comfortable in short, tight and bright clothes.
On the other hand, last year at one of my favorite neighborhood bars for their Halloween party, I had to roll my eyes at the women who wore the really slutty costumes for their contest and would hike up their skirt (not that it needed hiking) to show that they were wearing a g-string. And it's not what they were wearing, or not wearing that was the problem for me... it's was more like... if you're that comfortable in a g-string, why are you flashing your goods to win a hundred bucks at a tiny bar, instead of showing it on stage every night at the gentlemen's club for a LOT more cash? And... I would really prefer a little more between your juicy girlie bits and my boneless buffalo wings than a thin strip of elastic.0 -
Although I'll never understand girls my age who wear dresses so short you can see their vagina :noway:
Leave alittle something to the imagination...lol
I mostly agree that the human body is natural and theres nothing to be ashamed of. But I actually have seen a girls vagina her dress was so short. So ladies....atleast wear undies....please.0 -
here's the thing, i have large breasts and a round butt and pretty close to an hourglass, so short of wearing a potato sack anything i wear can make me look sexy and be revealing, even if i'm not meaning it to be that way
i wear a tank top on a hot day and it looks COMPLETELY different on me and seems to take on a whole new meaning than if a girl with A cups wears a tank top. i've had people think they can make assumptions about me and my morals based on my shirt choices on a day when it's over 100 degrees.
i personally can't be bothered with worrying about other people's hang ups. if people are dumb enough to try and equate my self respect with the amount of cleavage i'm showing then thats fine. i refuse to waste energy trying to make strangers happy.0 -
I think the statement is bull. Personally I have a wonderful rack and I love wearing things that show them off a little. So many people have something to say about it and my thing is you can't see my nipple so shut up. Even wearing a tank top shows a nice amount of boobs. I say wear what you want and feel good about it. You respect yourself by the way you respond to the comments people say not how you dress. If I want to flaunt let me...geesh I am not laying down with the 1st dude I see.0
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I love women in business attire...I've seen it done very tastefully, yet sexy...this is what I found with a quick search, sorry I don't have or care to dig for pics of the ex's I dated. Anyhow, many of the outfits on this page can perhaps be revealing yet respectful.
http://www.victoriassecret.com/clothing/suiting0 -
I don't like to wear revealing clothes. I think some things should be reserved only for my partner. Skinny jeans and a push-up bra is about as scandalous as it gets for me. It's not about body shaming, religious beliefs or social stigma - just a personal preference.
To me a conservatively dressed, confident woman in well-fitting clothes is much sexier than someone in a tiny outfit.
I have always been fascinated by this idea. Genuinely interested, not being a brat haha. I have been a dancer for so long that I am used to using my body as a means of expression and a way to share my thoughts feelings and beliefs with others. To me bodies are beautiful and interesting things to be shared.
Do you feel it disrespectful to your partner to reveal some of your body to others? Or do you just prefer that he/she be the only one to see you?
I was a professional dancer for 10 years....so I get what you mean. I'm not in anyway ashamed of my body. Changing in front of people, having other people pull my clothes on and off in the wings of a theater, going to rehearsal in a bra and shorts.....really anything goes in that setting.
In my personal life though, I prefer to be covered. Plus, I can't think of anything better/sexier than a beautiful lingerie set under a dress. It's like a sexy secret. I'm not puritanical by any means....just conservative.0 -
Just something I've been thinking about a lot lately - I've heard some variation of this hundreds of times in my life, that covering up shows respect for yourself. I firmly don't believe that for a second. I love my body and my sexuality and I like the way I dress. I'm not even sure I understand the argument being made in that statement, to cover up and show some self respect, are the two really intertwined? Ladies, thoughts? Men, opinions?
Also walking several feet behind your husband, keeping your eyes down, being obedient, keeping quiet and asking permission for everything shows respect for yourself. . . . . ahem.0 -
I see nothing wrong with the human body, male and female, they can be downright beautiful!
BUT How you present yourself matters in this world.
If you dress like a thug, I will automatically treat you like a thug until you prove differently.
If you dress in the fashion of the latest call-girl trends,that is how you are presenting yourself to me. It is pretty simple.
You have chosen to represent who you are externally in a way that may not be the real you at all.
Now, can you show off your assets without showing your *kitten*? Absolutely. And if you have the goods! Rock-'em! But do it with class and style, not with the thinnest piece of fabric you could wrap around yourself and call 'clothes'.
I have rocked the leather mini, and garnered attention without anyone mistaking my chosen profession as the world's oldest. It's more than just what you wrap up in, it is also how you carry and comport yourself.0 -
I totally agree!here's the thing, i have large breasts and a round butt and pretty close to an hourglass, so short of wearing a potato sack anything i wear can make me look sexy and be revealing, even if i'm not meaning it to be that way
i wear a tank top on a hot day and it looks COMPLETELY different on me and seems to take on a whole new meaning than if a girl with A cups wears a tank top. i've had people think they can make assumptions about me and my morals based on my shirt choices on a day when it's over 100 degrees.
i personally can't be bothered with worrying about other people's hang ups. if people are dumb enough to try and equate my self respect with the amount of cleavage i'm showing then thats fine. i refuse to waste energy trying to make strangers happy.0 -
I have yet to see any correlation between amount of skin shown and self respect or self worth.
Agreed. I notice that most people in this thread are stating their opinons over whether it is 'sexy' or 'classy' to show skin vs. not showing skin, but almost no one is addressing the self-respect issue. That's because there is no self-respect issue! To the OP, I think it's a ridiculous idea too and it doesn't even make any sense. Everyone can, and will, have different opinions on how dressing a certain way makes a person look (sexy vs. skanky), but that still has nothing to do with how much the person respects themselves!0 -
I am thinking that this is like the posts that ask guys what they like most. Every guy is different. My point being, maybe some people who dress in revealing clothes have self-respect and some don't. LOL0
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It's just human nature for men to stare at women's ladyparts if they're on show. Common sense will tell you men don't respect you while they're drooling over your chest. They see you simply as a sexual object. I'm not saying men shouldn't be careful where their gaze falls, but seriously, propping up your parts or wearing skirts that show me what you had for lunch is like getting on your knees and begging for attention, so you can't really complain about that.
EDIT: Ahhh I just noticed the title was SELF respect. I think my answer is still relevant. In my opinion, people who dress more conservatively seem to have a lot more self respect. Women who wear revealing clothes seem to have less self respect. They seem to place more value on the attention they get with their bodies because they are insecure about their intelligence and personality.0 -
It's just human nature for men to stare at women's ladyparts if they're on show. Common sense will tell you men don't respect you while they're drooling over your chest. They see you simply as a sexual object. I'm not saying men shouldn't be careful where their gaze falls, but seriously, propping up your parts or wearing skirts that show me what you had for lunch is like getting on your knees and begging for attention, so you can't really complain about that.
EDIT: Ahhh I just noticed the title was SELF respect. I think my answer is still relevant. In my opinion, people who dress more conservatively seem to have a lot more self respect. Women who wear revealing clothes seem to have less self respect. They seem to place more value on the attention they get with their bodies because they are insecure about their intelligence and personality.
Oh...my....God....This is ridiculous, take yourself by the collar and give yourself a good shake.0 -
A continuation on the thought:
I dress for ME and occasionally for my beau. People are going to look and judge no matter what I put myself in. I deserve, just like every one else, to feel sexy. To put it in non-clothing context, I dyed my hair bright red, the next day a slightly older gentleman I worked with exclaimed, "Why did you do that!?" I promptly responded that it makes me feel sexy. Do I care that he doesn't like it? nope. I just waned peoples thoughts on how personal appearance and self respect intertwine.
I am not sure what kind of clothes we are talking about , but just my 2 cents..
I believe that clothes help you make a statement. There is a place and time for everything. Work is not a place for sexy clothes, thanksgiving dinner is not either.
Yes, you should feel sexy on your clothes, but life is not only about feeling sexy. And you can feel sexy without showing half of your boobs. And yes, you worked hard to be in shape, but you can show your great shape, without having to show half of your *kitten*. Again, This is not personal to you, I dont even know what kind of clothes you wear.
I have been in good shape all my life. I have C-cup and an ok *kitten*. I dont dress sexy often, only when going on dates ( if that). Can people see that I am in good shape, yes they can. I didnt drees sexy when going on first dates either, back when I was single. Its not about being prude, its not about self-respect, its about what kind of statement you are trying to make ( especially when meeting people you dont know). I dont have to dress sexy to feel sexy..sexy underwear does the job for me.0 -
OP, I agree with you. I also feel that ACTING a certain way shows more of one's self-respect than how they dress. I can wear a slinky dress and sit at a bar, or I can wear a slinky dress and sit ON the bar. There's a difference.
But people judge other people, and that's not going to change.
Don't you wear slinky dresses and DANCE ON the bar?0 -
It's just human nature for men to stare at women's ladyparts if they're on show. Common sense will tell you men don't respect you while they're drooling over your chest. They see you simply as a sexual object. I'm not saying men shouldn't be careful where their gaze falls, but seriously, propping up your parts or wearing skirts that show me what you had for lunch is like getting on your knees and begging for attention, so you can't really complain about that.
EDIT: Ahhh I just noticed the title was SELF respect. I think my answer is still relevant. In my opinion, people who dress more conservatively seem to have a lot more self respect. Women who wear revealing clothes seem to have less self respect. They seem to place more value on the attention they get with their bodies because they are insecure about their intelligence and personality.
Oh...my....God....This is ridiculous, take yourself by the collar and give yourself a good shake.
Why?
Because she had a different opinion then you?0 -
It's just human nature for men to stare at women's ladyparts if they're on show. Common sense will tell you men don't respect you while they're drooling over your chest. They see you simply as a sexual object. I'm not saying men shouldn't be careful where their gaze falls, but seriously, propping up your parts or wearing skirts that show me what you had for lunch is like getting on your knees and begging for attention, so you can't really complain about that.
EDIT: Ahhh I just noticed the title was SELF respect. I think my answer is still relevant. In my opinion, people who dress more conservatively seem to have a lot more self respect. Women who wear revealing clothes seem to have less self respect. They seem to place more value on the attention they get with their bodies because they are insecure about their intelligence and personality.
Oh...my....God....This is ridiculous, take yourself by the collar and give yourself a good shake.
Why?
Because she had a different opinion then you?
Yes, that's exactly what I meant....*sigh*....also your hat is ridiculous.0 -
They seem to place more value on the attention they get with their bodies because they are insecure about their intelligence and personality.
Can't speak for anyone else, but my personality and intelligence is what GOT me my body. I work hard... I'm stubborn as hell and pushed myself way beyond my comfort zone. I educated myself about proper nutrition and eat right.
The body I had in my teens and early 20s was a combination of luck and genetics. It was just the default factory settings. :laugh: The body I have now is something I'm building and sculpting and molding... and I'm damn proud of it.
Truthfully, I'm not comfortable with attention based just on my body. And in the nearly two years I've been on this site, I've only gotten ONE perverted message from a creeper. I get some "damn, you look great" type messages, but for the most part... respect. Lots of it. Why? Because my intelligence and personality still shine, even in a mini skirt or bikini.0 -
A lot of people who equate modesty to self-respect are doing so for religious reasons. If they are or were raised Christian, they were probably taught that modesty is a virtue. Others may be generalizing based on the reasons some women dress provocatively. Yes, there are some women who dress in a revealing way for attention because they lack self-worth and need the reinforcement of comments, compliments, & being "checked out" and/or told that they're "hot". It's kind of a sad way to be because if/when they don't get that response it feels really bad. But it's not dressing that way that inherently signifies you have no self-respect, it's just the act of basing your worth on what other people think of your body. I don't know if there's anything wrong with living that way, but I can't because it would depress me.
But if you just want to wear a short skirt to show off those killer thigh muscle's you've been working so hard on I don't see the problem as long as the outfit is appropriate to the occasion. Personally, even if I had a perfect body that I worked hard for, I think I'd stick to the general rule of showing off only one major body part at a time. If you're wearing a short skirt, don't wear a particularly low-cut top that day. If you're wearing a low-cut top, wear the longer skirt. If you're going out and you want to expose your midriff to show off your awesome abs you worked for... well, you get the idea.0 -
I'm envious of woman's choices in clothing. Women have so many options available to them on a daily basis to express their individuality, femininity and sexuality. We men...........................boring!!
Viva la difference!!0 -
It's just human nature for men to stare at women's ladyparts if they're on show. Common sense will tell you men don't respect you while they're drooling over your chest. They see you simply as a sexual object. I'm not saying men shouldn't be careful where their gaze falls, but seriously, propping up your parts or wearing skirts that show me what you had for lunch is like getting on your knees and begging for attention, so you can't really complain about that.
EDIT: Ahhh I just noticed the title was SELF respect. I think my answer is still relevant. In my opinion, people who dress more conservatively seem to have a lot more self respect. Women who wear revealing clothes seem to have less self respect. They seem to place more value on the attention they get with their bodies because they are insecure about their intelligence and personality.
Oh...my....God....This is ridiculous, take yourself by the collar and give yourself a good shake.
Why?
Because she had a different opinion then you?
Yes, that's exactly what I meant....*sigh*....also your hat is ridiculous.
*thumbs up*
:happy:0 -
It's just human nature for men to stare at women's ladyparts if they're on show. Common sense will tell you men don't respect you while they're drooling over your chest. They see you simply as a sexual object. I'm not saying men shouldn't be careful where their gaze falls, but seriously, propping up your parts or wearing skirts that show me what you had for lunch is like getting on your knees and begging for attention, so you can't really complain about that.
EDIT: Ahhh I just noticed the title was SELF respect. I think my answer is still relevant. In my opinion, people who dress more conservatively seem to have a lot more self respect. Women who wear revealing clothes seem to have less self respect. They seem to place more value on the attention they get with their bodies because they are insecure about their intelligence and personality.
Oh...my....God....This is ridiculous, take yourself by the collar and give yourself a good shake.
I'm allowed to have an opinion, the same way you are. And I'm not going to tell you to "give yourself a good shake" for the opinion I assume you have.0 -
I personally love all you women showing off your bodies but if my wife were an MFP'er...I'd tell her to cover up...lol (typical male response)0
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They seem to place more value on the attention they get with their bodies because they are insecure about their intelligence and personality.
Can't speak for anyone else, but my personality and intelligence is what GOT me my body. I work hard... I'm stubborn as hell and pushed myself way beyond my comfort zone. I educated myself about proper nutrition and eat right.
The body I had in my teens and early 20s was a combination of luck and genetics. It was just the default factory settings. :laugh: The body I have now is something I'm building and sculpting and molding... and I'm damn proud of it.
Truthfully, I'm not comfortable with attention based just on my body. And in the nearly two years I've been on this site, I've only gotten ONE perverted message from a creeper. I get some "damn, you look great" type messages, but for the most part... respect. Lots of it. Why? Because my intelligence and personality still shine, even in a mini skirt or bikini.
I'm all for looking hot and sometimes it takes a lot of work so congratulations to you for that
What I'm against is dressing provocatively. 0 -
I dress to the public on how I want them to perceive me. Business woman casual. I am a mom, wife and a business woman. You can probably guess that by the way I dress. I do not look to attract attention nor want any attention from anyone in public. You can guess that by looking at me. That is my choice.
If you will google image "hooker" you will then get the general idea of what people think what hookers look like. If your clothes are similar in taste you can imagine what the general population thinks, even if your own thought pattern is different.
BTW, hookers have great leg muscles and good looking boobs too, and I imagine they have worked very hard to get what they have too.0 -
O but there is!! You guys have it lucky. You don't need a purse that clashes with your outfit, and youI'm envious of woman's choices in clothing. Women have so many options available to them on a daily basis to express their individuality, femininity and sexuality. We men...........................boring!!
Viva la difference!!
Can get away with just 2 nice pair of shoes! The. There is mascara.
You guys have it sooo so easy in the pants department! They're uniformly sized!
Fall/winter is coming, look at sweaters, they have a lot of nice ones. A nice leather jacket is a bonus. I always look for one that has an inside pocket. Try and look at deep jewel tones such as maroons, sapphire but also light browns.0 -
If all you do is show off your "goods," you can't complain when that's all people think you're good for. I think there are super classy ways to show off how hard you work that don't involve dressing like a nun, either. It's all about flattering lines and confidence.
This. this. this.0 -
Respecting yourself had nothing to do with the way you dress yourself.
Exactly.0 -
People who are uncomfortable with themselves will project their feelings onto others. They don't feel comfortable showing any skin, therefore anyone who does is every negative association they can think of. Oh she is showing too much leg. She must be a *kitten*. Ohhh she put her cleavege on display. She must be offering something. It's the same archaic attitude that rapists use to justify their behavior. Oh she dressed like she wanted it.
*applause* This is spot-on.0 -
There is also a time and a place for everything. You need to show respect for the situation and for the people around you. If you are going to go to a nice restaurant with your family, it is disrespectful to wear a crop top and booty shorts. I don't care how much you respect yourself. If you're hanging out with your friends at Waffle House, feel free to have your *kitten* hanging out of your shorts.
It is entirely possible to dress nicely and still look sexy. It's called being classy. It's something most teens haven't figured out. They seem to think that the only way to be sexy it to show as much skin as they legally can. A woman knows it's better to leave something to the imagination. If my dress shows cleavage, it will have a longer hem. If it comes up to my neck, it will be slit up to the thigh. Show off one or two bits and make them wonder about the rest. Show them everything and there's no mystery.
And there's the way you carry yourself. Having quiet confidence in yourself goes a long way. It's not being loud and obnoxious and trying to get attention. It's having your head up, shoulders back and KNOWING you look great. I have a few favorite outfits that make me feel sexy. Blood red tank top, jeans and Doc Martens. Black sweater, jeans and knee high heeled boots. Gray sweater, jeans and grey suede booties. (I love jeans.) I wear one of those, I feel fantastic and I get more looks. My husband stays closer and stands taller (not in a jealous or possessive way, in a proud way). None of those things shows anything. Nothing hanging out. The tops are slightly fitted, jeans are a regular bootcut. The clothes just make me feel good so I have my head up and a tiny bit of a strut to my walk. THAT's what gets attention.
this. 0
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