Dressing revealing & Self Respect
Replies
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I think if you've got it, flaunt it! I certainly will be when I reach my goal weight. You're only young with it all tight and in the right place for a limited time! Having said that, I tend to go with the reveal your legs or boobs rule, as both can look not classy!0
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Love should come before sex. Unfortunately, our culture blurs the lines so that we often value sex more than love. Love is responsible; it considers others; it doesn't flaunt itself. Love is kind. It does not try to emulate the decayed culture that tells women to dress as if they sell their bodies.
Women need to be more aware of the negative impact their revealing dress has on men. A man who wants to keep his mind clean and focused on his wife has a difficult time navigating all the "sexy and revealing" looks that the department stores and magazines push on us.
Our society is caught up in entitlement and "give me my rights" with too little concern about choosing responsibly.
Recently I read about a 17 year old son who was walking in the mall with his mom when a provocatively dressed young woman purposely brushed up against him and gave him the "You're hot... interested?" look. He kept walking. Later, his mom asked him how he felt about what she observed happening. He thought for a minute and then said, "The way she was dressed aroused the male in me, but it didn't attract the man in me."
Enough said.0 -
I don't think I'll ever be in support of midriff-revealing clothes. Maybe because I've been a bit fluffy around the middle all of my life, but I think it looks absolutely tacky. Right now it seems to be very popular to wear a very sheer top where you put both your bra and your midriff on display. Not my cup of tea either, but if done correctly it's still a much classier look.
I do enjoy clothes that makes me FEEL sexy. They may not reveal much, but I know that if I feel sexy and confident, I will look like it no matter what I wear.
That being said, the other week I tried on one of those Oktoberfest dridls, and I was amazed that it fit me and that, dang it, I worked it! :laugh: :drinker:0 -
I wonder why people don't see that people who dress provocatively do it for the attention they get.. They say they do it for themselves but if they were alone on a dessert island I bet they wouldn't care so much with no one to look at them. Just a thought. Do we feel sexy alone or only because of the way other people perceive us? 0
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I don't have a problem with it to a certain point. Wear something tight fitting or a short skirt. Why not show off that you are in shape. Most of the time I see people wearing tight stuff that really have no business wearing it. This is offensive to me.0
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OP, I agree with you. I also feel that ACTING a certain way shows more of one's self-respect than how they dress. I can wear a slinky dress and sit at a bar, or I can wear a slinky dress and sit ON the bar. There's a difference.
But people judge other people, and that's not going to change.
What's wrong with sitting on a bar? What you just did was to draw an arbitrary line about what is right and wrong for someone else. Slinky dress + at bar = okay. Slinky dress + on bar = not okay.0 -
I don't have a problem with it to a certain point. Wear something tight fitting or a short skirt. Why not show off that you are in shape. Most of the time I see people wearing tight stuff that really have no business wearing it. This is offensive to me.
I'm offended when you wear a shirt.0 -
Just something I've been thinking about a lot lately - I've heard some variation of this hundreds of times in my life, that covering up shows respect for yourself. I firmly don't believe that for a second. I love my body and my sexuality and I like the way I dress. I'm not even sure I understand the argument being made in that statement, to cover up and show some self respect, are the two really intertwined? Ladies, thoughts? Men, opinions?
Self-respect is more than just covering up one's body.
Personally, I don't like being told what to wear and how I should dress, hell I will be 52 in a couple of months time, I think I am old enough to decide what attire I adorn myself in LOL.
Wear what you want, forget what everybody else deems suitable to you to wear. I am damned sure you do not sit there and tell them what to wear, they should do likewise and respect your decision when it comes to your own style of dress.
If they start going on about self-respect, tell them to bog off and sort their own lives out before they try to interfere in yours.0 -
Love should come before sex. Unfortunately, our culture blurs the lines so that we often value sex more than love. Love is responsible; it considers others; it doesn't flaunt itself. Love is kind. It does not try to emulate the decayed culture that tells women to dress as if they sell their bodies.
You *believe* love should come before sex. It is perfectly okay for you to believe that, but you must recognize that not everyone shares your values--and that is perfectly okay.Women need to be more aware of the negative impact their revealing dress has on men. A man who wants to keep his mind clean and focused on his wife has a difficult time navigating all the "sexy and revealing" looks that the department stores and magazines push on us.
What a man looks at, thinks, etc. is not my responsibility. If a man made a vow to his wife, or anyone else, it is *his* responsibility to keep it--not mine.0 -
Here's the deal: there are women who dress revealing because they need attention and may not respect themselves. There are women (myself included) who dress revealing because they feel ****ing hot today and want to embrace that inner sexy. And there are thousands of women who dress revealing and are just in between the two.
The thing is, its not any of our jobs to pass judgement on these beautiful women based on how they chose to present themselves to the world. Our culture and society has taught us from day one to pick each other apart and constantly compete, trying to be that "perfect woman". Every day we're told we're ugly and not good enough by advertisers who use our insecurities to sell us ****. And its created such a hostile environment for women, we always want to judge and one up each other. We find any possible excuse to put each other down! "Oh she's a slut, oh she's a *****, oh she's too fat to wear that, oh god-- you can see her ribs, how sickly--"
Its all bull**** we've been force fed all our lives without even knowing it. We should honestly just be building each other up, because women are amazing beings, capable of far more than this. If we used half the time we usually spend cutting other women down to instead motivate and support each other, the world would be a different place.0 -
A lot of people who equate modesty to self-respect are doing so for religious reasons. If they are or were raised Christian, they were probably taught that modesty is a virtue. Others may be generalizing based on the reasons some women dress provocatively. Yes, there are some women who dress in a revealing way for attention because they lack self-worth and need the reinforcement of comments, compliments, & being "checked out" and/or told that they're "hot". It's kind of a sad way to be because if/when they don't get that response it feels really bad. But it's not dressing that way that inherently signifies you have no self-respect, it's just the act of basing your worth on what other people think of your body. I don't know if there's anything wrong with living that way, but I can't because it would depress me.
But if you just want to wear a short skirt to show off those killer thigh muscle's you've been working so hard on I don't see the problem as long as the outfit is appropriate to the occasion. Personally, even if I had a perfect body that I worked hard for, I think I'd stick to the general rule of showing off only one major body part at a time. If you're wearing a short skirt, don't wear a particularly low-cut top that day. If you're wearing a low-cut top, wear the longer skirt. If you're going out and you want to expose your midriff to show off your awesome abs you worked for... well, you get the idea.
Thank you for saving me some typing - this is exactly what I was thinking! I used to have a friend who would dress to show off her "girls" and then get all indignant when she got attention. That was completely annoying and one of the reasons why we're no longer friends... Someone like her wanted attention but didn't at the same time because she had no self respect, self confidence or self worth and was trying to get it from an outside source.
On the other hand, someone with antiquated ideas of modesty like some of my female relatives, get their panties all in a twist over a teeny tiny bit of cleavage. I've seen the examples they squirm over and it's nothing compared to some of the pictures I've seen on here on Boobie Friday! LOL!
Also, I love the idea of sticking with showcasing one body part - gotta remember that when I get to goal and am more comfortable with form fitting clothes. 0 -
I wear what I want, when I want. This weekend I went out and was dressed very conservative (jeans & sweater) , the time before I wore a short skirt and strapless shirt. It all depends on my mood that day. I could care less if someone else thinks I'm trashy or revealing too much.
My girlfriends had this exact conversation at the bar when a chick passed us in cutoff shorts and sports bra looking shirt. She was cute and fit. When they commented like "Wow, what is she wearing" i just said..you are crazy she is hot and we are just jealous, get over it. Now if she wasn't in shape and wearing that then the "wow" comment would of been justified.0 -
OP, I agree with you. I also feel that ACTING a certain way shows more of one's self-respect than how they dress. I can wear a slinky dress and sit at a bar, or I can wear a slinky dress and sit ON the bar. There's a difference.
But people judge other people, and that's not going to change.
What's wrong with sitting on a bar? What you just did was to draw an arbitrary line about what is right and wrong for someone else. Slinky dress + at bar = okay. Slinky dress + on bar = not okay.
If I am at a bar and somebody sits on the bar in front of me, it would annoy me as I like to perch my drink on the bar and they would be taking the room up :laugh:0 -
http://i1323.photobucket.com/albums/u590/MotivatedBink/Moralequivalence_zpsca418386.jpg
UGH how come my pic isn't working
Thought this was cute and fit the topic. I think alot of it has to do with how people are raised and unless everything is hanging out everywhere I think we should try to not judge people to much on how they choose to dress... but I do agree that it is true that there is a right time and place to dress certain ways... But everybody has the right to their own opinion! 0 -
Everyone's entitled to dress how they would like. I'd prefer not to see the vulva of every "self-respecting woman" who wants to show it but hey can't control the masses.
However, if you walk out ur house dressed like a 20 dollar hooker on sale for 10 don't get too upset by the judgments. K? Great!0 -
I wonder why people don't see that people who dress provocatively do it for the attention they get.. They say they do it for themselves but if they were alone on a dessert island I bet they wouldn't care so much with no one to look at them. Just a thought. Do we feel sexy alone or only because of the way other people perceive us?
Where is this dessert island you speak of? Mmmmm0 -
very well said!People who are uncomfortable with themselves will project their feelings onto others. They don't feel comfortable showing any skin, therefore anyone who does is every negative association they can think of. Oh she is showing too much leg. She must be a *kitten*. Ohhh she put her cleavege on display. She must be offering something. It's the same archaic attitude that rapists use to justify their behavior. Oh she dressed like she wanted it.
Putting this aside though, there are some people who could benefit from a full-length mirror and perhaps a second opinion before going out the door . The line between sexy/revealing and just plain cheap can be hard for some to see
:laugh:0 -
Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous
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I was just thinking about this this morning while I was running. I wore a t-shirt and spandex short shorts. I got a lot of looks from the gusy on the construction site I ran by. Now, some people would call me slutty, or say I'm looking for attention, or possibly that I have no self respect. Well, I have plently of self respect. I know that I have a good body, and I don't mind if other people enjoy it. Now if they try and touch, that's another story. That's where the self respect comes in. But me running in booty shorts at 6 a.m., I see that as a public service to the community. I'm just helping the construction workers have a good start to their Monday morning.0
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If all you do is show off your "goods," you can't complain when that's all people think you're good for. I think there are super classy ways to show off how hard you work that don't involve dressing like a nun, either. It's all about flattering lines and confidence.
This!0 -
I completely agree with you. Nicely said.If all you do is show off your "goods," you can't complain when that's all people think you're good for. I think there are super classy ways to show off how hard you work that don't involve dressing like a nun, either. It's all about flattering lines and confidence.0 -
People who are uncomfortable with themselves will project their feelings onto others. They don't feel comfortable showing any skin, therefore anyone who does is every negative association they can think of. Oh she is showing too much leg. She must be a *kitten*. Ohhh she put her cleavege on display. She must be offering something. It's the same archaic attitude that rapists use to justify their behavior. Oh she dressed like she wanted it.
totally agree0 -
Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous
The only people who walk around half naked are those that live in poor countries that cannot afford clothes. The people in most countries try to "dress" with class. You can be sophisticated and sexy without dressing half naked.0 -
If you are clothes are geared for getting attention from the people around you (the more revealing the more attention) then ya - loads of self respect issues there. I personally am looking forward to being skinny enough to wear a hot dress so my hubby won't take me out to dinner in it *wink wink*0
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It doesn't bother me at all if other people wear revealing clothing within the proper context. I have often personally struggled with a deep physical modesty, actually since I was a young child from being abused. It became very difficult for me to show my body (and I would wear baggy clothing). I would not wear shorts, short skirts, tank tops, (sometimes it was difficult to even show my feet at certain times), I almost stopped wearing bathing suits at times (but opted for wearing shorts with it and now a short skirt because I am getting better). I feel a lot of anxiety when I wear revealing clothing. So, when I see statements about modesty I sometimes feel like maybe it's not so bad that I struggle with this modesty issue (these issues run deep). It never occurred to me that it was actually insulting other women (and I will think about that now and not say anything like that). I've been lifting weights and feeling good about having muscles, so feeling like I would like to show them more, so it's helping me a lot (seeing people show their muscles on mfp). I've always tried to push myself on this issue past my comfort zones. As a dancer I have had to wear costumes, but the anxiety that I would feel before finding out the costume was unbearable at times. My friends dressed in fun ways, so that helped and didn't help (kind of depends on the circumstances and how I was feeling and how willing I was to seek support from them), the college I went to was small and close-knit. I agree that it is very problematic when people call women names and say their clothing causes rape. I wish that I had felt better about myself when I was younger (but I guess this is a very common issue for women). And I think part of self-respect is not being too hard on ourselves for having difficulties with certain things.
OP, thanks for sharing this. I really liked what you wrote about how you feel about your body. You are very beautiful! And it's encouraging and inspiring to read what you wrote. I am really working on this right now (it's been a life long issue). Sorry, I sound cheesy. This is a good topic.0 -
There is also a time and a place for everything. You need to show respect for the situation and for the people around you. If you are going to go to a nice restaurant with your family, it is disrespectful to wear a crop top and booty shorts. I don't care how much you respect yourself. If you're hanging out with your friends at Waffle House, feel free to have your *kitten* hanging out of your shorts.
It is entirely possible to dress nicely and still look sexy. It's called being classy. It's something most teens haven't figured out. They seem to think that the only way to be sexy it to show as much skin as they legally can. A woman knows it's better to leave something to the imagination. If my dress shows cleavage, it will have a longer hem. If it comes up to my neck, it will be slit up to the thigh. Show off one or two bits and make them wonder about the rest. Show them everything and there's no mystery.
And there's the way you carry yourself. Having quiet confidence in yourself goes a long way. It's not being loud and obnoxious and trying to get attention. It's having your head up, shoulders back and KNOWING you look great. I have a few favorite outfits that make me feel sexy. Blood red tank top, jeans and Doc Martens. Black sweater, jeans and knee high heeled boots. Gray sweater, jeans and grey suede booties. (I love jeans.) I wear one of those, I feel fantastic and I get more looks. My husband stays closer and stands taller (not in a jealous or possessive way, in a proud way). None of those things shows anything. Nothing hanging out. The tops are slightly fitted, jeans are a regular bootcut. The clothes just make me feel good so I have my head up and a tiny bit of a strut to my walk. THAT's what gets attention.
Very well said.
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Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous
The only people who walk around half naked are those that live in poor countries that cannot afford clothes. The people in most countries try to "dress" with class. You can be sophisticated and sexy without dressing half naked.
A startling fact. Lots of topless sunbathers on the public beaches of Holland. Not all of them are guys! There is no self respect issues - just tan line concerns :laugh: It was startling for me as a newcomer to the NL many moons ago cause you just dont HAVE that here in the US! I am positive there are many similar instances worldwide where youll find beaches laden with topless men and women. The US folks have a different mindset about it. Nothing tragic or awful. Just a different culture 0 -
No - it is not. It is called "self" respect because it has to do with "self". How you present your "self" to the world is a reflection of how you feel about your "self".If you got it, flaunt it.. Self Respect is in the eye of the beholder..0 -
(IMG)http://i1323.photobucket.com/albums/u590/MotivatedBink/Moralequivalence_zpsca418386.jpg(/IMG)
http://i1323.photobucket.com/albums/u590/MotivatedBink/Moralequivalence_zpsca418386.jpg
UGH how come my pic isn't working
Thought this was cute and fit the topic. I think alot of it has to do with how people are raised and unless everything is hanging out everywhere I think we should try to not judge people to much on how they choose to dress... but I do agree that it is true that there is a right time and place to dress certain ways... But everybody has the right to their own opinion!
Just trying to get my pic to work lol
k i give up!0 -
you're using parenthesis (and CAPS) instead of the square brackets and lowercase for the IMG
http://i1323.photobucket.com/albums/u590/MotivatedBink/Moralequivalence_zpsca418386.jpg
UGH how come my pic isn't working
Thought this was cute and fit the topic. I think alot of it has to do with how people are raised and unless everything is hanging out everywhere I think we should try to not judge people to much on how they choose to dress... but I do agree that it is true that there is a right time and place to dress certain ways... But everybody has the right to their own opinion!
Just trying to get my pic to work lol
k i give up!0
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