Can fat people find love?
Replies
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No, I haven't found it.... Though I haven't found my left sock yet ether, doesn't mean it isn't there.... and I am sure the moment I stop looking, it will be found. But, at the time I have nothing better to do than look for that darn sock. :P
Moral of the story, People are in a rush to "find" stuff. And often the thing we are trying to find, and spend a lifetime trying to find the one thing, but it can't be found. At least, not until we change our own perspective.
It isn't a matter of finding something else, but creating what you are. And, knowing the outcome, no matter what it is, will be perfect. Because, it is your creation0 -
this woman...
is married to this man...
if that doesn't prove that love and attraction goes a lot deeper than just looks, what does?
How does that prove anything? Am I missing the point of this post??0 -
I used to be pretty optimistic but @ age 39 (almost 40)...... not so hopeful for it anymore. Ready to get a couple more cats and settle for being the crazy cat lady upstairs.
I have a cat and a dog and I'll be your downstairs neighbor
:laugh:
PS And it's nothing to do with my weight, I literally have friends twice my size who have boyfriends and husbands...in my case I really do think it's lack of confidence/self-esteem, even though I am now at a healthy weight.0 -
Have confidence love will find you!0
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Set a small goal and work towards it. Once that's achieved, set another goal and work towards it. See where I'm going? Take steps towards achieving what you want. Those small successes can and will grow into a big one, and that is something that you can be proud of and find confidence in.
Love yourself first. Cause right now, even if love found you, you may not recognize it.0 -
Gosh girl you are gorgeous! Heck Im 40 and still looking for love... Ive always picked the wrong man and settled.. this time around I wont settle.. I know hes out there... Im far from skinny and have a long way to go... but I learned theres more to me than my weight....and if a guy cant see me for the beauty inside then **** him!
Never give up and always believe in yourself!! You are young and have so much to look forward to
Great response and so true - I couldn't say it better myself!0 -
my dear, if a man only wants your body, what do you think will happen when you start aging? yes, for most appearances are the first thing we notice, but if it's all physical, it's not gonna last. wait for someone to love who you are and not what you look like. there are men out there who just want a real woman to love and care for and who will love and care for them. Focus on who you want to be. not on what they want you to be. 0
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I have also experienced this exact same feeling..finally about 4 years ago I had a soul searching moment that opened my eyes to loving who i am! I am still struggling with my weight issues but 2 1/2 years ago i found the love of my life! He is about 160 lbs soakin wet and i am well over 200... he looks at me like i am perfect! It only took 28 years to get to the happiest i have ever felt
You are beautiful on the outside and can only imagine all that you have just glowing inside! Love yourself first! Once you find truly who you are and what you want in life you will find that angel that will just make you feel like you are on cloud 9.. no matter what you look like!
I understand people can say all of this to you but when you are ready with your heart, mind and soul then that is the true time for you to grow into that Butterfly that you are hiding....
If you want to talk more please friend me!
peace and love0 -
You can find love, you just have to wait to find it. It's not impossible though. I found the man of my dreams and got married around my highest weight of 248 it's possible. Personally I'd rather find a man that loves me while I'm overweight so I know they deserve me when I lose it all and have my dream body.0
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If a man only accepts you for your body or weight, then he is not worth keeping....I felt insecure my entire life....I weighed 180 tops....I worked my butt off and lost weight, and still was insecure...I started dating and realized when I gained weight my bf would make jokes or comments...I broke up over time....I gained weight back and was asked out by my now husband. Who told me he loved my personality and the way I was...And he would love me to be healthy....But it was my choice....Hes never put me down for weight I gained or lost......HE is a true man......And I am now 26 so ladies......I would say you guys are young 20 focus on school, and yourselves....I regret always post poning my education for a guy....And my insecurities.... Any man loves a confident woman.....And you look really pretty....YOu need to look in the mirror and realize you are gorgeoues and accept that.....0
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Let me share a secret with you. About 10 years ago I lost a bunch of weight and was at my lowest adult weight ever. You want to know what I discovered? I was the SAME person inside, only the size of my clothes had changed. Now, I'm not going to lie and say that people treated me the same, because they didn't. But I was still the same old me. So, while I realize that we are all on this journey to lose weight, it doesn't mean that weight loss is going to instantly turn you into a lovable person if you weren't one before. So, yes, as everyone else has said, love yourself now.
Also, to directly answer your question, YES, OF COURSE FAT PEOPLE CAN FIND LOVE!!! I met my late boyfriend when I weighed about 275 (I weigh more now) and he weighed much more than I did. But I will tell you there will never be a sweeter and kinder and more wonderful (and sexy) man to walk this earth than he was. There is so, so much more to love than appearances.
Feel free to add me as a friend if you like. And be kind to yourself. 0 -
First of all, you are very pretty. I really hope that one day you can look in the mirror and say "oh snap she was right!!"
As far as trying to lose and failing, we have ALL (or at least me...) been there. The best advice I can give is to start slowwww. I used to have a donut every morning. I decided to cut down to every other morning. Then eventually just on Fridays. I haven't had a donut in about 2 months. Then I tackled lunch. I started bringing lunch to work instead of buying it out. Then when you've got that down, tackle dinner. Then snacks/desserts.
Every day won't be perfect. But if you take it one day at a time and make small changes, it will build and build and then all these new habits will be created and you will forget about the old ones. The beginning is the HARDEST part. I am 5 months in and it's so easy to be healthy and make good choices because I do it so often now. I promise promise promise! I slip up every now and then but it doesn't affect my weight loss because I quickly get right back on the saddle.
I know this is really hard. This is probably the hardest thing I've ever done. But it's worth it. You are worth it. You will find love when you can learn to love yourself. I know that you want to love yourself, so let go and do it!0 -
Love isn't about a size or a number on the scale. I think the biggest issue you are having is your low self esteem. We are our own worst critics, but how is anybody else going to truly love you if you can't love yourself? Try to do some soul-searching and find out who you really are (what you truly like to do, what your passions are, etc) and try to be more involved with other people that share the same passions and you are more likely to find someone that you're compatible with. You are awesome, you just need to convince yourself of that and everyone else will realize it too!
TOTALLY TRUE0 -
No, only thin people are worthy of being loved. Fat people should focus on losing weight and never look for someone to share their life with. No one needs fat people acceptance.
Thanks for asking this question though. There seems to be a lot of fat lovers and chubby chasers out there, so it is important to know that this is not love. It is only a way to exploit the fat and vulnerable.
I am so glad that I am fat and unloved. Love would just complicate my diet plan.0 -
Confidence is sexy. Find something you love about yourself and embrace it. This may sound cliche, but coming from a big girl right here who has someone that loves and sees past/through the imperfections, it's about loving yourself first.
^ This too! :drinker:0 -
this woman...
is married to this man...
if that doesn't prove that love and attraction goes a lot deeper than just looks, what does?
Agreed, a good look'n fella like him........you know he loved her starting inside out!
Seriously, Love is an emotion. Weight is a physical attribute. Being heavy can affect your confidence, so it may seem like your unlovable, but that's nonsense! I think the faster you start feeling better about who you are(the person within/spirit, ect), rather than what you look like, the more you'll feel like it's just a matter of time. Continue your struggle to weight lose, that sure won't hurt anything!0 -
You are 20 years old! You have plenty of time and you will have plenty of chances. You'll find the ones that you think are THE ONE and then you'll find THE ONE AND ONLY. And all the heartache will be worth it because that person will be perfect for you. Hang in there. Know yourself and be able to love yourself first.
I can say this because I've been there. I'm still looking but I had a great guy who enjoyed my company at my heaviest. Distance put a stop to that relationship, but I have faith that the confidence I'm gaining and the knowledge of myself that I'm gaining now will help me find the one man who is right for me. I'm just not ready yet but one day I will be.
I wish you luck. Don't ever give up on yourself. You are worth so much more.0 -
My hunny and I found love and we were both overweight. We still are but we're working on it together now. You know what? I'm glad I found him when I was at my heaviest. Because I know he fell in love with the real me inside for who i am. He is my greatest supporter and cheerleader but I know if I never lose another pound or if I gained the pounds back, he would be by my side unconditionally. He finds me beautiful and sexy inside and out and he is wonderful to me. He deserves a hot wife so I'm working hard to lose this weight for both of us. I wanna be a slimmer sexier bride when we get married next summer. We're both gonna be smokin' hot by then!
You'll find someone. I never thought I would but I did. And I met him through a plus size dating website.0 -
I found love while I was (still am) fat. He's not fat. He doesn't care. He's supportive of my weight loss because it will make happy and healthier, but it was a non issue for him.
It's nice to know that when I'm at a healthy weight, I'll still know that he loved me for who I am.0 -
you should use this as motivation to lose weight. you will find it a lot easier to date and to date the kind of guys you like if you lose weight.
as for worrying if you will be attractive once you've lost the weight its almost impossilbe to be unattractive if you are fit.
so...join a gym and start doing some serious weight lifting along with some serious cardio and figure out what your caloric input should be and count every single calorie you eat until you reach your goal.
give up all the snacks and treats that you like and start eating healthy. it sucks at first but you get used to it and wouldnt you rather be fit and and enjoying life instead of eating junk?0 -
You are so beautiful ( to bad you don't see how most of us view you. ) You don't want a guy that only wants you for your body. Let them get to know you. I can promise you that alot of guys are viewing your picture and thinking I wish I could go out with her. Try seeing yourself how others see you. Good luck and love yourself0
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Yes, yes they can. I've been married for 9 years now and I'm just getting back to my weight loss journey. Someone who truly loves you will love you for who you are, not what you look like. Looks fade but personality does not.0
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The comment is only snarky if thats the way you read it...............well NO, if you ask a stupid question like that!
^^ Geez girl, way to kick someone when their down. Feel better with yourself after stating the snarky comment? Smh :grumble:
To the OP, sweetie you're very pretty but I really don't think this is the issue. I think love is possible for anyone, at any size. Of course everyone has a preference, but confidence goes a long way. I would suggest you put your quest for love on a back burner and work on yourself for now. You're really young, as cliche as it sounds you have plenty of time. Everything will fall into place once you start learning to love yourself.
Best of luck to you! :flowerforyou:0 -
I was once told " You have a great personality and a smile that lights up a room but I cant **** a personality" I replied that I could at least lose weight but they would still be a *kitten*. I turned on my heel and walked out the room with my head held high.
There are many men (and women) out there who will hurt your feelings but ultimately there is someone out there who is looking for someone like you. The right person will walk into your life at the right moment and everything will be just as it should.
In the meantime get in touch with your inner goddess. No matter how deeply she is buried and let her light shine through. Whenever you are scared reach for her and she will guide you. Men find a confident sexy woman irresistible, its doesnt matter what size you are.
Be the extraordinary, amazing person you were born to be. A man isnt the complete package, he is the bow and wrapping that compliments what's inside.0 -
The comment is only snarky if thats the way you read it...............well NO, if you ask a stupid question like that!
^^ Geez girl, way to kick someone when their down. Feel better with yourself after stating the snarky comment? Smh :grumble:
To the OP, sweetie you're very pretty but I really don't think this is the issue. I think love is possible for anyone, at any size. Of course everyone has a preference, but confidence goes a long way. I would suggest you put your quest for love on a back burner and work on yourself for now. You're really young, as cliche as it sounds you have plenty of time. Everything will fall into place once you start learning to love yourself.
Best of luck to you! :flowerforyou:
any one in the world can find LOVE. But with an attitude of thinking you cant because of your weight, then you wont!!!
Have a positive attitude. And since there are sooo many fat people in the world together than yes......duh!0 -
Oh, sweetie... you are so pretty and you deserve to be loved by someone wonderful. You're so young - focus on enjoying your life, living your dreams and having adventures. Love yourself first and when you aren't even expecting it, someone will come along and love you.0
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The internet the best love tool ever. Whatever you are someone out there loves it. Some Googling and you will find a community that for them you are a goddess ( and you are to someone out there).
I absolutely agree!!! My husband and I met online..... he now weighs over 7 stone less then the day we married.... I love him more and more each day. I fell in love with his personality online first well before I met him. Looks mean nothing if you're still an idiot, or selfish or have no manners.
He is funny, has a good heart and a fantastic family orientated guy. We are still both overweight, but are sharing our weightloss journey together.
Anyone who is naive enough to only see your weight doesn't deserve you anyway!!!
:bigsmile: 0 -
No one else can love you unless you love yourself...Truly. Take what you want from that.
So true! I've been overweight most of my life. When I was 20 I thought that losing weight was going to be the answer to all my problems. I had a lot of "if only I was 20 or 30 lbs lighter then......" (the cute guy would like me, I'd have more friends, I would have been invited to the party) moments. Trust me when I say that just losing the weight isn't going to magically fix your life. You are beautiful but YOU have to believe that before anyone else will. If you don't think your good enough then no one else will either. Work hard, lose the weight, but most of all, tell yourself everyday how wonderful you are, cause you are!!!!0 -
I'm fat. I found love - and love found me. I have been with my honey for 13 years now. Just don't settle for the first 'taker' that comes along. Your perfect match is out there waiting for you. Believe in Soul Mates - Your Soul Mate will love you just the way you , and you are beautiful.0
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The comment is only snarky if thats the way you read it...............well NO, if you ask a stupid question like that!
^^ Geez girl, way to kick someone when their down. Feel better with yourself after stating the snarky comment? Smh :grumble:
To the OP, sweetie you're very pretty but I really don't think this is the issue. I think love is possible for anyone, at any size. Of course everyone has a preference, but confidence goes a long way. I would suggest you put your quest for love on a back burner and work on yourself for now. You're really young, as cliche as it sounds you have plenty of time. Everything will fall into place once you start learning to love yourself.
Best of luck to you! :flowerforyou:
any one in the world can find LOVE. But with an attitude of thinking you cant because of your weight, then you wont!!!
Have a positive attitude. And since there are sooo many fat people in the world together than yes......duh!
^^^^^^ This! Totally.0
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