husband hasn't noticed.

1235

Replies

  • velloxal
    velloxal Posts: 78 Member
    Well it's time to do something about it. :huh:

    Yeah go shopping :bigsmile: buy sexy mini dress :bigsmile: and make yourself gorgeous. :bigsmile:
    Nice make up,:bigsmile: high heels:bigsmile: ans sexy moves will complete the picture.:bigsmile:
    I am sure he will notice the difference straight away.:love:
  • ReesesPuffs
    ReesesPuffs Posts: 169
    Good on him for keeping his trap shut. I would too, never know when the "So, you think I was fat before?!" rant will surface xD
  • bethygirlie
    bethygirlie Posts: 311 Member
    mine didn't really "notice" until he hugged me the one day and was like "oh my god!"
  • penguinjlynn
    penguinjlynn Posts: 29 Member
    My husband never comments unless I ask him. He feels he doesn't need to as weight loss is a common topic of discussion in our home. Communicate with him. He can't read your mind and you cannot expect to get what you want if you haven't verbalized it. Try talking to him about your success and ask if he can notice the difference. Then take the opportunity to point out it would be nice to have his feedback more often.
  • angelique_redhead
    angelique_redhead Posts: 782 Member
    I'm not expecting mine to notice. If he didn't notice the time I died my hair bright red then he's not going to notice when I lose weight. It's that simple. Sometimes you just have to hit them over the head with a clue-by-four.
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
    Mine has noticed mostly when we are in bed :blushing: main reason is that he has told me that he will love me no matter my size (he saw me at my heaviest which was 243) and so i know that one day he will notice and somedays he does, other days, I will catch him looking while i am working out and then he acts like he never was looking :laugh: Right now though, its strange to me that people that haven't seen me in a while think I'm beautiful and getting hit on.

    Truly and honestly, men can't read minds (wish they did) but tell him "hey, feedback please!" and let him know that you would like a compliment. if clothes are the problem, then go shopping for new ones!!!! We went clothes shopping for my birthday and he was surprised that I'm now wearing 15's instead of 18's or 20's and mediums for shirts (it was hilarious). Now i won't be going and getting dresses yet, but drop a few clues, it will be ok!!!!
  • ggsmamma
    ggsmamma Posts: 117 Member
    I decided to let go of my irritation in my husband for not saying anything/much about my 43 pound loss when I realized he had also said nothing about my 80 lb. weight gain since we got married. Love that man!! :happy:

    So true. Love it
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    I can't remember the last time he told me I was pretty or that I looked nice (we are talking YEARS).

    NOT okay. Men, pay attention. Your wives want to hear they look good!
  • LennyInFlorida
    LennyInFlorida Posts: 202
    Yeah, if he sees you every day the change isn't going to be as noticable--espcially for a man.

    My wife will move furniture and put up pictures in rooms and I won't even notice lol
  • Ghkffb56
    Ghkffb56 Posts: 263 Member
    Maybe its cause he sees you everyday? Im that way i dont notice if see you every day... : /.... untill i dont see you for a week or so.. lol ^^ cant get to mad at him :(
  • hottiebikerchick
    hottiebikerchick Posts: 187 Member
    I guess Im one of the few lucky ones....My husband has noticed even things I didnt....LIKE: "where is your butt going? Its getting smaller every day" or "I can fold my arms over each other when I hug you now"... Even my kid said "you are smaller when I hug you" Lots of NSV's from him and her. Maybe 16 years and growing closer together every day is the difference. When I started this journey, I made sure to tell him NOT to try to sabbotage me with food temptations of any kind and have been lucky to have his support. I was upfront in telling him I am focused on me now and may have to make his own dinners etc...He is one of the lucky ones who doesnt gain weight no matter what he eats, but whether I was 275 or now 224...He has loved me unconditionally....
  • KwilsonStPeteFL
    KwilsonStPeteFL Posts: 27 Member
    Wow! What great responses.

    Thanks for all the advice. It has given me a much better perspective. He never commented when I gained 50 pounds, so I guess I need to suck it up. I know he loves me regardless of what I look like and that's all that really matters at the end of the day.

    Have a great Friday everyone!
  • shimewazaMan
    shimewazaMan Posts: 413
    buy some sexy lingerie do a strut in front him - see if he notices then .... :smile:

    I love your line of thinking!
  • derekj222
    derekj222 Posts: 370 Member
    people that see me day-to-day and never said anything, people that I haven't seen for a month+ are the ones that say things....one day the day-to-day people will realize "where did that fat kid go"...ha...me: "oh he's gone" :)

    on the other hand, if he knows you are working hard towards this, encouragement should come from those closest to you
  • SheilaG1963
    SheilaG1963 Posts: 298 Member
    hello fellow MFPs.

    I need to rant for a minute. I've been working out the last few months, lost a total of 25 pounds and my husband has said NOTHING. my coworkers comment, but zilch from the man. he's an extraordinary person, a great father, but really... can't he just say something nice and encouraging?

    I can't remember the last time he told me I was pretty or that I looked nice (we are talking YEARS). My clothes are hanging off my body and I just can't imagine why he doesn't say anything. grrrrrrr

    thank you for listening to my rant.

    You're not alone. I've lost 100 pounds and my husband has NEVER said anything!
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    If he's like my husband then maybe he's scared to comment on your weight. Some guys think that a woman's age and weight are off limits, often because they mistakenly offended someone.

    This is also true, sometimes when a man would say something like

    "Wow you have really slimmed down!"

    Emotional women translate that as:

    "OMG you were so fat before"

    When that is not what we said at all.


    TRUTH!!! Men say what they mean + women hear what they want = poor, confused men + angry women.
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • shimewazaMan
    shimewazaMan Posts: 413
    LOL ... I tell me wife she is sexy all the time and she complains that that is all I think about. Damned if ya do and damned if ya don't!
  • joeldalich
    joeldalich Posts: 7
    I think that maybe he is worried that by saying somethihng he might be giving the wrong impression when in fact he is trying to be nice. I know that happens to me once in awhile . But dont worry I think he does notice and I am sure he is very impressed with what he sees. I think that you dont have a thing to worry about.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    Just because he's a jerk doesn't mean he hasn't noticed. I'm left wondering why you still have any expectation for emotional fulfillment from a man who hasn't complimented you in that long :(
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    I decided to let go of my irritation in my husband for not saying anything/much about my 43 pound loss when I realized he had also said nothing about my 80 lb. weight gain since we got married. Love that man!! :happy:

    This
  • stephanieb72
    stephanieb72 Posts: 390 Member
    I decided to let go of my irritation in my husband for not saying anything/much about my 43 pound loss when I realized he had also said nothing about my 80 lb. weight gain since we got married. Love that man!! :happy:

    made me laugh:laugh: Good way to look at it!
  • waylandcool
    waylandcool Posts: 175 Member
    If he's like my husband then maybe he's scared to comment on your weight. Some guys think that a woman's age and weight are off limits, often because they mistakenly offended someone.

    This is also true, sometimes when a man would say something like

    "Wow you have really slimmed down!"

    Emotional women translate that as:

    "OMG you were so fat before"

    When that is not what we said at all.

    +1. I have gotten in lots of trouble on this subject so I just tip toe around it as much as I can. Knowing me, I will compliment some one on losing weight as nicely as I can and get the book thrown at me.
  • nalia08
    nalia08 Posts: 252
    My husband never says when he thinks I've gained weight. He will acknowledge when he thinks I've lost some though. I guess it's really different based on the person. I never say anything about a person weight unless I've seen they have kept it off for a while. Then I'll politely ask: Have you lost some weight? You look very different to me.
  • Scottish_charlene_84
    Scottish_charlene_84 Posts: 986 Member
    Ive lost 40 odd lb and my hubby has said nothing!!! Ur not alone!
  • beach_please
    beach_please Posts: 533 Member
    My clothes are hanging off my body and I just can't imagine why he doesn't say anything. grrrrrrr

    If your clothes are hanging off your body, go shopping. Buy a pair of skinny jeans, some heels, and a cute, fitted top. Chances are he'll notice your new body. He may not verbalize it, but he'll notice.
  • LeslieC1970
    LeslieC1970 Posts: 160
    I decided to let go of my irritation in my husband for not saying anything/much about my 43 pound loss when I realized he had also said nothing about my 80 lb. weight gain since we got married. Love that man!! :happy:

    This. My spouse is the same way. He has never commented about my weight gain but he is slow to notice the losses. He has recently started to say he is noticing the differences and while not graceful with words (you have less floppy bits and your shoulders are not as puffy), he never fails to make me know I am number one no matter what.
  • capnrus789
    capnrus789 Posts: 2,736 Member
    He's not saying, "Hey, you've lost weight. You look great!" because he's afraid you're respons will be, "Are you saying I was fat and ugly before?!?!"
  • victorious27
    victorious27 Posts: 250 Member
    My clothes are hanging off my body and I just can't imagine why he doesn't say anything.

    Sometimes it takes a new outfit showing off the progress to turn some heads.

    I agree with this... With guys, no matter the age, they like some form of "sexy", whether clothes or confidence. Make sure you've been holding your head high and are wanting more than anything to see your weight loss through. When you've got yourself believing that...get you something "sexy" to wear. It doesn't even have to be something skin tight...just something that you know he think is the most attractive thing on you. Like a specific shirt (obviously in your new size) or type of jeans that flatters you....or both!

    Set up a "date night" and go shopping for it. Get a flattering dress or something along those lines.

    Not only is it a good way to get away from the house and kids (not sure how old they are...but still, if it applies), but it will give you grounds to "talk" about it and show off your weight loss. :)
  • gottagettagrip
    gottagettagrip Posts: 19
    I decided to let go of my irritation in my husband for not saying anything/much about my 43 pound loss when I realized he had also said nothing about my 80 lb. weight gain since we got married. Love that man!! :happy:



    THIS!
  • red1775
    red1775 Posts: 22
    Very sad that relationships mean so little to so many.

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