husband hasn't noticed.

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Replies

  • sunshinesquared
    sunshinesquared Posts: 2,733 Member
    I decided to let go of my irritation in my husband for not saying anything/much about my 43 pound loss when I realized he had also said nothing about my 80 lb. weight gain since we got married. Love that man!! :happy:

    ^^This is awesome!
  • bkesecker
    bkesecker Posts: 163 Member
    Talk to him. You need his support and motivation for your own mental health. He needs to know that.
  • sugarlips1980
    sugarlips1980 Posts: 361 Member
    I can see why you're bothered by this, after all, out of all the people in the world your hubby (as someone you're romantic and sexual with) is the main person you'd want to notice. There definitely is a good point that someone you live with may not notice weight loss as easily as someone you bump into you've not seen in a while. But he should notice 20 odd pounds did you say? Maybe he oesnt mean to be hurtful, as a bloke he just doesn't get how important it is to notice! Just tell him straight and maybe he will learn this crucial concept!
  • itgeekwoman
    itgeekwoman Posts: 804 Member
    Don't say a word. Just keep doing what you are doing. Mine was like that. One day I showed him a picture of my personal trainer and I commented on how incredible his muscles looked. Then after a few weeks, and losing more pounds I was talking about how strange it was that guys held the door for me again.. and how I'm getting looks.

    Now, well life is much better. My husband is a different guy.

    Give it time. He might be afraid to say anything. Most importantly though, don't look for validation of what you are doing for you.. from him. Validate yourself and in doing so, you empower yourself. Good luck!
  • gingerveg
    gingerveg Posts: 748 Member
    I decided to let go of my irritation in my husband for not saying anything/much about my 43 pound loss when I realized he had also said nothing about my 80 lb. weight gain since we got married. Love that man!! :happy:

    Ha this is how mine is too, gotta love those men! <3 I never gained all that much, but he really didn't care. Now that I've lost almost all of it he still doesn't care---that's one of the ways I know he really loves me. Fat, thin, wearing a paper bag, or donning sexy lingerie the man just plain loves me no matter what. That's love, I'm glad you have one of those guys too! :)
  • Bunniculette
    Bunniculette Posts: 71 Member
    I think a lot of the posters have good points. He might be afraid you'd get upset: his noticing you lost weight would be admitting he noticed you had weight to lose in the first place. He does see you everyday, so he may not have noticed the gradual weight loss. Pre-kids I lost almost 70 pounds and NO ONE noticed until the 30 pound mark (which, coincidentally was when i sprung for new clothes that weren't falling off my body.)

    Plus, as my mother always said, 'if a man loves a woman, it doesn't matter what she looks like. He thinks she looks great!' Maybe Hubby just sees 'his hot wife' at whatever weight!!
  • nturner612
    nturner612 Posts: 710 Member
    ok. take your highest heels out. and some earrings. and then ask him if there is something hed like to say to you that he has been holding out on. :)
  • DMZH78
    DMZH78 Posts: 42
    hello fellow MFPs.

    I need to rant for a minute. I've been working out the last few months, lost a total of 25 pounds and my husband has said NOTHING. my coworkers comment, but zilch from the man. he's an extraordinary person, a great father, but really... can't he just say something nice and encouraging?

    I can't remember the last time he told me I was pretty or that I looked nice (we are talking YEARS). My clothes are hanging off my body and I just can't imagine why he doesn't say anything. grrrrrrr

    thank you for listening to my rant.

    2 Things:

    I don't know the weight of your husband, but if he overweight himself, acknowledging your success would also acknowledge his failure.

    He sees you everyday, sometimes it is so subtle that it is hard to tell.



    Yup agree with you! I think the second reason is the best one because I have lost 27 so far and no one has noticed that sees me almost daily but people who have not, notice. :-). I am sure he is not doing anything intentional, just we don't notice things as much with those we see daily.
  • blackmantis
    blackmantis Posts: 165 Member
    Truth is we are not very smart and my screw it up anyways.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    I don't even notice when people get extremely different haircuts. And I'm a girl. I'd say just talk to him.
  • harleygaljojo
    harleygaljojo Posts: 111 Member
    my weight did not start getting noticed unt8il I went shopping and bought a new outfit that fit really well
  • holliwood322
    holliwood322 Posts: 92 Member
    well said!
  • buckmeatball
    buckmeatball Posts: 39 Member
    I'll post from a mans perspective. I find my wife smoking hot no matter what she weighs but I can DEFINITELY tell when she gains or loses weight and so does the OP's husband. My wife is somewhat lucky in that she can lose it fairly quickly when she tries and she'd admit that. Even though I've noticed I've never said anything(I tell her she's pretty, beautiful, smells nice, etc quite often) for fear of making her feel that I thought she was overweight before. She just recently asked me why I hadn't noticed and I said of course I did but didn't want it to come off the wrong way. She said it hurt her feelings that I didn't. Now, moving forward, I KNOW what she wants me to do because she told me. Shame on me if I don't compliment her every chance I can when she loses the same five pounds over and over.

    Thanks for the great idea about shopping together. I hate shopping but what a great way to tell your spouse what they look best in and how good they look.
  • Wheelie_UK
    Wheelie_UK Posts: 29
    He sees you everyday, sometimes it is so subtle that it is hard to tell.

    Sorry, do not buy this argument. My partner has been on a diet,for 9 weeks, weighting herself for the last 5. She said she couldn't tell she was loosing, or didn't feel she had lost, so I told her to weigh herself for proof of her loss. She did however acknowledge she was more active, more energy and her persona became much more positive! Even if you cannot see the difference, there are other things that change to show the difference. You would have to be totally blind not to notice some change.

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