he keeps telling me im fat i've lost 44lbs

The only other words you should hear from him is "I'm sorry" ...as you're walking out the door.

**** Head. What the hell is wrong with some guys?

I dont understand women who stay with men who do this...or the opposite actually...we know women can be as bad. If hes willing to be abusive in one area, he'll progress eventually. Find somebody worth you and your heart

Sounds to me like you need to lose about 225 pounds and 69 inches.

I LOVE this response and second it! :drinker:

The only other words you should hear from him is "I'm sorry" ...as you're walking out the door.

**** Head. What the hell is wrong with some guys?

Exactly..he should be happy that you are getting healthier!! )

How bout telling him this-

"I am losing weight for my health, so I will feel better as well as look better. I would like for you to support me in my efforts. Telling me I am fat, hurts my feelings and makes me feel bad about myself. Is that what you want for me? If you love me, you will want me to be the best I can be. Perhaps you are afraid that when I lose the weight, I will leave you for someone else. I love you and would not leave you just because I lost my weight and you haven't. I will however consider leaving you if you continue acting like an insensitive jerk!"

I have three good options:
1) He can support you
2) He can not support you but cant put you down either
3) You can leave him and find a nice guy

Agreed. I would take a good look at things --is weight the only topic on which he is manipulative or emotionally abusive? What else does he get cranky or snarky or dismissive about? Is he ever happy for you, when things go well, or is he only.comfortanle when he feels superior?

Have you tried sitting down with him somr time when you ate both calm to talk about this? To say, "I have been working hard at this and I am disappointed in your reaction; I would have thought you would be cheering me on. I will never be Kate Moss, but I am getting close to my healthy weight," or something like that.

Or, you could ask him to join you for your workouts. "We can do this together!"

Or you could try couples' counseling.

But seriously, if he doesn't get his head together fast, or if there are other warning signs, i would get the hell out. Life is too short to send good years after bad.

As I tell people who ask why I am not married, there are worse thibgs than being single, and I have dated my share.

Congratulations on your weight loss, now lose a quick 225 of ugliness and misery and tell him to take a hike. Why would someone who loves you and sees you working hard to lose weight and take better care of yourself tell you that you're fat? Does he not know that you are working at it? Is he purposely trying to be hurtful and mean? Get rid of him and find someone who loves you for you, not for your weight and appearance.

just a suggestion here...........hit him in the head with one of those stones

Sounds to me like you need to lose about 225 pounds and 69 inches.

^^^^^ This

Sounds to me like you need to lose about 225 pounds and 69 inches.

even thought its been quoted a ton, it need repeating.

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would NEVER be with a man who told me I was fat. EVER !

Yet so many women EXPECT their men to be honest...and then ask them questions like, "does this outfit make me look fat?"

And when we say, "no, the fat makes you look fat, not the outfit." the woman gets all mad. Don't test us with loaded questions that can never be answered correctly. Now, alternatively, if the person putting on the weight can't take their partner pointing out the fact that they let them self go, perhaps the problem is with that person that became lazy, eating bad, or whatever added the weight. We can love you regardless of your weight, but that has NOTHING to do with being honest and letting you know you are over weight. For me, it's just like smoking or other bad habits, I would point it out to my partner because I care about them and want them to be in my life as long as possible. I'd also be supportive and offer to workout with them, help them use a tool like MFP, get them to the gym with me, etc. So I would say much of it is contextual, but in the end, if you are fat, suck it up and admit it. If you embrace it, it can't be used to hurt you, and then you can use it to strengthen your resolve to make the changes you need to make.

In this instance, this guy is out of line and just being a tool. He's in the wrong for making you feel bad about your progress, and you are probably better off finding someone that will support you in your desire to live a healthier lifestyle. Keep up the great work and don't let his negativity put a damper on sticking to your weight loss goals!

Sounds to me like you need to lose about 225 pounds and 69 inches.

^^^ this! The only extra useless weight you have is him....you have come so far and are inspiring ...if he can't see that, he doesn't deserve you..

Not sure how you do it in Bri'ain, but we here in America call that guy a wanker!.....oh, maybe it is like that there. But we have a divorce rate of about 47% right now, and that is a big reason why. Men can be abusive jerks sometimes. I would leave him. If you are losing the weight, he should be thankful because you weigh less when you ride him. I wouldn't want some big lady on me, and then my member slip out, and over, and then -ouch. What guy wouldn't see that benefit? So I have to determine that he is just an *kitten*. Move on, sweet thang.

He probably thinks he's being funny :noway: