So at what weight do women actually respond to a guy?

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Replies

  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
    So when I was 290 the last girl I approached before starting my weight loss back up literally turned around on walked away without acknowledging me. At 245 I guess things have improved in the sense they'll talk to me for 30 seconds until they come up with an excuse to get away but still. So guys who have lost weight or to all the women out there, when does it actually get better? I mean do I need to be a fitness model or something because that's probably a bit out of reach.

    I gotta say that a lot of men are the same way. They see an obese chick and no matter what her level of confidence....they turn the other way.
  • tuckerrj
    tuckerrj Posts: 1,453 Member
    I didn't read through all 11 pages of responses, so this may be a repeat, but here goes..... If you're overweight and only approach women who are ripped with 6 pack abs, that could be a problem. If you want women to accept you (someone less than perfect), you might try approaching women who aren't perfect yet, too. There are some danged fine women out there, with a beautiful spirit, wonderful personality, maybe even potential life mate material (if that's what you're looking for) that don't have a BMI of 25 or less.
  • willwillywilson
    willwillywilson Posts: 229
    Thanks for the advice/chat guys and girl! With all the election mumbo jumbo I was trying to avoid the TV and succeeded. Bed time now though! I will say in spite of my cynicism I'll take what I've read to heart and I think deep down I do feel like thing swill eventually perk up. The real benefit from getting fit has been getting rid of some health conditions, including beating sleep apnea. I guess the rest will take care of itself.
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
    Personally, whenever any guy approaches me and i get the "their hitting on me" vibe, I get flustered and make up excuses to get away. But you could be Hand Sculpted by Greek Gods and i would still try to get away.

    So maybe some of the girls you are approaching are like that.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    u are doing great then....and by the looks of your photo, u dnt look fat to me man!
  • Dreamerlove
    Dreamerlove Posts: 441 Member
    Its not the weight. You're either walking up to the wrong girls, or its your approach. For me if a guy uses a "pick-up" line, I probably won't acknowledge him. If a girl is going to meet a guy she likes a romantic story behind it, for example...Bumping into each other and dropping all her papers, grabbing the napkin at a coaster, maybe you hold the door for her. Something gentleman and chivalry like. Not random walk-ups. This will only for certain types of girls, just like pick-up lines might work for a certain type. Don't judge the girl on her looks either, like don't pick who you talk too. Talk to us all. Who knows, the girl of your dreams might be struggling with weight or wearing sweat pants that day.
  • tamba01
    tamba01 Posts: 110 Member
    Confidence has alot to do with it. But that being said, women differ as to what they like. I prefer men with a little meat on their bones, some women prefer skinnier guys. When I was younger I preferred skinnier guys. But being confident and being able to hold a good conversation goes a long way.
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
    I don't know what their problem is.You look good to me! :blushing:
  • Dreamerlove
    Dreamerlove Posts: 441 Member
    Its not the weight. You're either walking up to the wrong girls, or its your approach. For me if a guy uses a "pick-up" line, I probably won't acknowledge him. If a girl is going to meet a guy she likes a romantic story behind it, for example...Bumping into each other and dropping all her papers, grabbing the napkin at a coaster, maybe you hold the door for her. Something gentleman and chivalry like. Not random walk-ups. This will only for certain types of girls, just like pick-up lines might work for a certain type. Don't judge the girl on her looks either, like don't pick who you talk too. Talk to us all. Who knows, the girl of your dreams might be struggling with weight or wearing sweat pants that day.

    Wow I was off in la la land. That is supposed to say, Grabbing the same napkin at a restaurant...time to go to bed..yikes.
  • Mscastillo85
    Mscastillo85 Posts: 66 Member
    u are doing great then....and by the looks of your photo, u dnt look fat to me man!

    I'm sorry totally off subject but WTH IS THAT ON YOUR PROFILE PICTURE?!
  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
    Its not the weight. You're either walking up to the wrong girls, or its your approach. For me if a guy uses a "pick-up" line, I probably won't acknowledge him. If a girl is going to meet a guy she likes a romantic story behind it, for example...Bumping into each other and dropping all her papers, grabbing the napkin at a coaster, maybe you hold the door for her. Something gentleman and chivalry like. Not random walk-ups. This will only for certain types of girls, just like pick-up lines might work for a certain type. Don't judge the girl on her looks either, like don't pick who you talk too. Talk to us all. Who knows, the girl of your dreams might be struggling with weight or wearing sweat pants that day.

    I'm sorry, but it has a lot to do with the weight. That is a direct result of someones looks. Which girls value A LOT.

    How many girls here have added ripped guys without thinking twice?

    It's no different in real life. Guys that are at least fit will be the beneficiaries in getting girls as opposed to the guys with weight on em. It's as simple as that.

    It's up to their personalities to keep them, although most, I'm sure can and have pulled off the one night stand successfully without having to commit to anything.
  • Mscastillo85
    Mscastillo85 Posts: 66 Member
    u are doing great then....and by the looks of your photo, u dnt look fat to me man!

    I'm sorry totally off subject but WTH IS THAT ON YOUR PROFILE PICTURE?!

    @kimosabe1
  • tamba01
    tamba01 Posts: 110 Member
    Ok, I have one more thing to add... What kind of girls are you going up to? Do you first go by appearance (of course) so looks do matter at first ( I know, not pc but true) Dress nice, tuck in that shirt, hold your head high and just keep trying.
  • tamba01
    tamba01 Posts: 110 Member
    I'm sorry totally off subject but WTH IS THAT ON YOUR PROFILE PICTURE?!
    @kimosabe1

    lol !!
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
    In my personal opinion, there is no weight where things get better. It's the so-called "women" that have their standards higher than they should be. You're just approaching the wrong women.

    It'll get better, they're just shallow.

    I wouldn't really say higher or lower. Everyone is into something different. Some of my best male friends growing up were obese. But they had no trouble with the girls.
  • Saycojimmy
    Saycojimmy Posts: 1
    Dude congrats on the weight loss. But I must tell you. At least for me ( I weigh 243 right now) It's all about self confidence that you portray and being at ease with yourself. Basically, loving yourself as you are now! I stopped having woman walk away with me when I became comfortable with who I was and generaly became my real self, a funny , caring person. The women who walk away from me now, are actually doing me a favor because I want people who are real, happy and caring. Hope this helped a little bro!
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
    I prefer zero gravity conditions myself.
  • chism21
    chism21 Posts: 155 Member
    I got few good tips a www.ngsurvivalguide.com
    a least i have improve my game
  • XtyAnn17
    XtyAnn17 Posts: 632 Member
    Maybe your a creeper lol
  • LisaLouisiana
    LisaLouisiana Posts: 145 Member
    I agree that this has far more to do with confidence and charisma than weight. I know guys who are significantly overweight who get more @$$ than a toilet seat, and other well-build guys who can't get the time of day from most women. I'd also agree that you might be approaching the wrong women.

    I have to agree with this. If you're attracted to them don't look away when they see you looking at them. I'm not saying stare at her boobs....hold eye contact. It says confidence.
  • auntdeedee87
    auntdeedee87 Posts: 706 Member
    So when I was 290 the last girl I approached before starting my weight loss back up literally turned around on walked away without acknowledging me. At 245 I guess things have improved in the sense they'll talk to me for 30 seconds until they come up with an excuse to get away but still. So guys who have lost weight or to all the women out there, when does it actually get better? I mean do I need to be a fitness model or something because that's probably a bit out of reach.

    Hiiii

    We live in the same state. Walk up to me. ;)
  • Shelgirl001
    Shelgirl001 Posts: 477 Member
    If it's a decent person, that you would even really want to end up with in the first place, she is going to look at the personality first. Immaturity is most often a reason for people looking at weight first. My guy I have been dating is a real good sized guy, but I guess I could say that what I see is his wonderful sweet goofy fun self and to me he looks like heaven. It's whats inside that will count the most. The rest is just there for a bonus. He has got the most beautiful blue eyes and the best smile I could ever ask for. I could go on, but I think that's good enough for a public forum.
    Keep looking, she's out there, and she'll love you for who you are, not for what you look like.
  • nefbaker
    nefbaker Posts: 79
    You're walking up to the wrong girls.

    This. One of my best friends is 6'5, slightly overweight and an intellectual who likes to bake, garden and kayak. He only approaches skanky hoes at the bar and wonders why they all ignore him while I know of three girls his age who are not ho-bait, but are cute, intelligent — one owns her own business, the other is studying to become a paramedic, the other works at the bank — who think he's something else, and he isn't interested in them.
  • rozsbluejay
    rozsbluejay Posts: 303 Member
    Same thing happens to me with guys.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    I just don't talk to anyone in bars, regardless of weight, height, gender, or anything else. I'm pretty mean about it too.

    So why go? And why not be less mean? Obvious questions LOL.


    In general, I'm pretty friendly and talkative (like at my rock gym), but at bars I'm always with my friends (whom I don't get to see often) and I assume any man who approaches me in a bar is just trying to sleep with me. 99.9% of the time this is the case.

    In one instance, I was mildly friendly to a guy in a bar, who then proceeded to get nasty and ask me weird questions, and I told him to go away, pretty forcefully, and he continued to harass me. Repeated experiences of this nature lead me to either ignore men who approach me in the bar scene, or tell them to eff off.
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
    Weight's not as big of an issue for me. I'm married but for the sake of your question, if I wasn't, it wouldn't matter much to me. "Too skinny" or "too fat" don't make much of a difference if the man 1) has an awesome personality and 2) has an attractive face. I mean yeah, I'd be turned off honestly if the guy was overly obese. That's more from the standpoint of knowing someone who is that overweight would potentially (and likely) have health problems, along with difficulty doing normal things that I personally enjoy doing on a regular basis. But I have been attracted to several guys who would be considered overweight, just because they had a really handsome face and a great personality. Even if you're a little heavy, if you have good muscles and are strong, that can go a long way too. :)

    I think women are generally more forgiving when it comes to looks. Maybe I'm wrong, but from what I've observed, it seems that way. We see beauty in more than just the physical aspects of a person, but also we see beauty in more than a person's size / physique. Deep, dark eyes, nice skin, a good smile, well kept with good hygiene, these things matter a lot too. More so than people would probably think.
  • mistertug
    mistertug Posts: 51
    I'm marrying the girl that loved me even when I was more disgusting looking than I am now
  • Tat2dDom0105
    Tat2dDom0105 Posts: 661
    I remember when i was in my 20's and i lost a significant amount of weight, that more girls were receptive to my weight loss, and approached me more when i would go to bars and clubs. Now that i'm married and have lost 36 pounds, it seems like just people in general are more friendly towards me since my appearance has changed.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member

    It's an unfortunate fact, but women are raised to be hyper-vigilant about their safety. If you do something that makes them uncomfortable, even unintentionally, you're going to get rejected.

    This too. I was thinking that earlier but couldn't think of a way to explain it.

    Mental note, test pickup line "I am not going to rape you." The results couldn't be too much worse than I'm already getting.

    Maybe warm up with "I do not have a gun."
  • IronTitaness
    IronTitaness Posts: 117
    You're walking up to the wrong girls.

    Yes!

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