So at what weight do women actually respond to a guy?
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Replies
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It's (mostly) not your weight, it's (mostly) you.
The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable they will be with you.
I don't know...big fluffy guys are teddy bears...even saying you find a non-shallow girl, good luck landing anywhere but the friend-zone...drop the casual look and go for sharp-dresser...it will make you less fluffy without any further weight loss even needed...bunnies are fluffy and cute, but girls don't get a burning desire to bang the crap out of them...
Not that I need to bang every girl I walk up to but I get what you're saying about the friend zone. By chance I responded about the friend zone to someone else but yes, the friend zone is definitely out for me at this point. Not doing it.0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
^^^^^
I third this.0 -
The confidence thing keeps coming up. Seriously, ladies, coming up to you is the confidence. It's your job not to be completely terrible and give whoever had the confidence to come up to you a chance. I definitely get the impression when I approach a girl they've got the "Oh no a fat guy" look going on. Really hoping this becomes less and less evident the slimmer I get.
It's not just the confidence to approach, it is overall confidence in yourself. Someone earlier mentioned joining different groups based on hobbies and interests, etc. This is a good idea because it gives you an opportunity to interact and girls will get to know you, and things will happen more organically. This is where you are going to find that your weight isn't going to be an issue. Just walking up to any girl anywhere is sort of like cold calling in sales. It's difficult to make a sale. If a girl is "out there" looking, say in a bar, and there are 100 guys in there, most likely she is comparing.0 -
How are your teeth? Clean? In good health? I mean maybe I'm weird (most certainly) but if a guy has good teeth and a nice smile the rest can be pretty secondary. Too each our own.
Hmm average-ish? Maybe a little below. I mean I don't have veneers I go around showing off with a wide smile. I'm gathering the appearance thing is a big deal for women even though you gals pretend it's not.0 -
I typically didn't respond to guys flirting, pick-up lines, or any of the other "methods" used. Truth be told - most guys I dated or had any interest in were friends first and foremost. I just didn't trust most guys initially...and it took time for me to get to know them before determining if they'd be a good match. The one guy I met randomly and dated - was the *one* guy I regret the most. I know I'm not "normal" in that sense...and that's okay. It was just a way of protecting myself. I ended up marrying my best guy friend from high school. But to answer your question more specifically - I don't suppose it matters so much how much a guy weighs...but naturally I'll be drawn to someone who looks healthy and who regularly grooms himself. If he is making a concerted effort to get healthier, but is carrying some extra weight, who cares. It truly comes down to personality - sense of humor, ability to carry a conversation beyond a superficial level, genuine interest in me, and yeah, confidence. Fake it 'til ya make it. You might get shot down 100 times...but you can't give up. She's out there waiting for you. But you have to love yourself before you can really love someone else.
Yikes, saw the "friend" word. I'm putting a ban on the friend zone. That's just a personal thing. I've done the friend zone thing way to many times in my 20s.
Okay so maybe the question is better suited for you to ask yourself who you would actually be interested in approaching and dating - you are shooting down a lot of things in this thread. Maybe you don't really want to date. Maybe you actually like guys *gasp*...haha, just kidding. Maybe you should work on learning to love yourself, despite what *you* perceive as flaws, and that confidence and fun-loving personality will better shine through...attracting the ladies to you as opposed to not. *shrugs*0 -
I don't mean movie star teeth, I actually like it if they are a little crooked. And yeah maybe that is shallow but its honest. It's what I notice/like etc.How are your teeth? Clean? In good health? I mean maybe I'm weird (most certainly) but if a guy has good teeth and a nice smile the rest can be pretty secondary. Too each our own.
Hmm average-ish? Maybe a little below. I mean I don't have veneers I go around showing off with a wide smile. I'm gathering the appearance thing is a big deal for women even though you gals pretend it's not.0 -
The confidence thing keeps coming up. Seriously, ladies, coming up to you is the confidence. It's your job not to be completely terrible and give whoever had the confidence to come up to you a chance. I definitely get the impression when I approach a girl they've got the "Oh no a fat guy" look going on. Really hoping this becomes less and less evident the slimmer I get.
It's not just the confidence to approach, it is overall confidence in yourself. Someone earlier mentioned joining different groups based on hobbies and interests, etc. This is a good idea because it gives you an opportunity to interact and girls will get to know you, and things will happen more organically. This is where you are going to find that your weight isn't going to be an issue. Just walking up to any girl anywhere is sort of like cold calling in sales. It's difficult to make a sale. If a girl is "out there" looking, say in a bar, and there are 100 guys in there, most likely she is comparing.
Won't I just be competing with the better looking guys in whatever group I join? And won't the women there just be interested in the activity or do women join groups as a side way to meet people?0 -
You're walking up to the wrong girls.
Agreed0 -
Agree - you're walking up to the most shallow of gals apparently (sorry dude) and you need self confidence (not cockiness). There is a fine line between confident and cockiness....it's being an @ss; showing no respect or being uncouth.0
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You're walking up to the wrong girls.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^She is absolutely right!!!0 -
Yes it is a competition but not one judged on looks per se. For one girl might be looking for the nicest guy or the funniest or the one who's mouth I want to visit, lol. Damn that sounds creepy.
The confidence thing keeps coming up. Seriously, ladies, coming up to you is the confidence. It's your job not to be completely terrible and give whoever had the confidence to come up to you a chance. I definitely get the impression when I approach a girl they've got the "Oh no a fat guy" look going on. Really hoping this becomes less and less evident the slimmer I get.
It's not just the confidence to approach, it is overall confidence in yourself. Someone earlier mentioned joining different groups based on hobbies and interests, etc. This is a good idea because it gives you an opportunity to interact and girls will get to know you, and things will happen more organically. This is where you are going to find that your weight isn't going to be an issue. Just walking up to any girl anywhere is sort of like cold calling in sales. It's difficult to make a sale. If a girl is "out there" looking, say in a bar, and there are 100 guys in there, most likely she is comparing.
Won't I just be competing with the better looking guys in whatever group I join? And won't the women there just be interested in the activity or do women join groups as a side way to meet people?0 -
Agree - you're walking up to the most shallow of gals apparently (sorry dude) and you need self confidence (not cockiness). There is a fine line between confident and cockiness....it's being an @ss; showing no respect or being uncouth.
Def not cocky LOL. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to pull that one off.0 -
Yeah you may be "competing" against better looking guys (although that is subjective) but it will give people a chance to get to know your personality, which isn't really possible in a place like a bar where you only really get a first impression, which is generally your looks. Plus at least you know you'll have at least one thing in common.
The confidence thing keeps coming up. Seriously, ladies, coming up to you is the confidence. It's your job not to be completely terrible and give whoever had the confidence to come up to you a chance. I definitely get the impression when I approach a girl they've got the "Oh no a fat guy" look going on. Really hoping this becomes less and less evident the slimmer I get.
It's not just the confidence to approach, it is overall confidence in yourself. Someone earlier mentioned joining different groups based on hobbies and interests, etc. This is a good idea because it gives you an opportunity to interact and girls will get to know you, and things will happen more organically. This is where you are going to find that your weight isn't going to be an issue. Just walking up to any girl anywhere is sort of like cold calling in sales. It's difficult to make a sale. If a girl is "out there" looking, say in a bar, and there are 100 guys in there, most likely she is comparing.
Won't I just be competing with the better looking guys in whatever group I join? And won't the women there just be interested in the activity or do women join groups as a side way to meet people?
Make friends first and then see if there is any mutual interest between you and someone else there.0 -
Yes it is a competition but not one judged on looks per se. For one girl might be looking for the nicest guy or the funniest or the one who's mouth I want to visit, lol.
The confidence thing keeps coming up. Seriously, ladies, coming up to you is the confidence. It's your job not to be completely terrible and give whoever had the confidence to come up to you a chance. I definitely get the impression when I approach a girl they've got the "Oh no a fat guy" look going on. Really hoping this becomes less and less evident the slimmer I get.
It's not just the confidence to approach, it is overall confidence in yourself. Someone earlier mentioned joining different groups based on hobbies and interests, etc. This is a good idea because it gives you an opportunity to interact and girls will get to know you, and things will happen more organically. This is where you are going to find that your weight isn't going to be an issue. Just walking up to any girl anywhere is sort of like cold calling in sales. It's difficult to make a sale. If a girl is "out there" looking, say in a bar, and there are 100 guys in there, most likely she is comparing.
Won't I just be competing with the better looking guys in whatever group I join? And won't the women there just be interested in the activity or do women join groups as a side way to meet people?
Ugh so now I need to worry about getting thousands in dental work too. Let me guess, hair plugs too?0 -
Yeah you may be "competing" against better looking guys (although that is subjective) but it will give people a chance to get to know your personality, which isn't really possible in a place like a bar where you only really get a first impression, which is generally your looks. Plus at least you know you'll have at least one thing in common.
The confidence thing keeps coming up. Seriously, ladies, coming up to you is the confidence. It's your job not to be completely terrible and give whoever had the confidence to come up to you a chance. I definitely get the impression when I approach a girl they've got the "Oh no a fat guy" look going on. Really hoping this becomes less and less evident the slimmer I get.
It's not just the confidence to approach, it is overall confidence in yourself. Someone earlier mentioned joining different groups based on hobbies and interests, etc. This is a good idea because it gives you an opportunity to interact and girls will get to know you, and things will happen more organically. This is where you are going to find that your weight isn't going to be an issue. Just walking up to any girl anywhere is sort of like cold calling in sales. It's difficult to make a sale. If a girl is "out there" looking, say in a bar, and there are 100 guys in there, most likely she is comparing.
Won't I just be competing with the better looking guys in whatever group I join? And won't the women there just be interested in the activity or do women join groups as a side way to meet people?
Make friends first and then see if there is any mutual interest between you and someone else there.
Friend zone
0 -
The confidence thing keeps coming up. Seriously, ladies, coming up to you is the confidence. It's your job not to be completely terrible and give whoever had the confidence to come up to you a chance. I definitely get the impression when I approach a girl they've got the "Oh no a fat guy" look going on. Really hoping this becomes less and less evident the slimmer I get.
It's not just the confidence to approach, it is overall confidence in yourself. Someone earlier mentioned joining different groups based on hobbies and interests, etc. This is a good idea because it gives you an opportunity to interact and girls will get to know you, and things will happen more organically. This is where you are going to find that your weight isn't going to be an issue. Just walking up to any girl anywhere is sort of like cold calling in sales. It's difficult to make a sale. If a girl is "out there" looking, say in a bar, and there are 100 guys in there, most likely she is comparing.
Won't I just be competing with the better looking guys in whatever group I join? And won't the women there just be interested in the activity or do women join groups as a side way to meet people?
Yes, you would be still competing, but it isn't all about looks, that is what the majority of the women here have been telling you. The point is you need to get to know a variety of people. Just randomly picking one out of a crowd to approach, not even knowing if you have anything in common, seems like a big waste of time as well as not being very good for the self esteem. I met my boyfriend in a volunteer group, we were friends for a year and a half before we both realized that there was a spark. If we just bumped in to each other somewhere in a bar, had a drink, we may never have even realized there could be an attraction or anything in common.0 -
NONONO!! That is just me and I just like clean teeth. Toothbrushes are cheap man! LOL!
Yes it is a competition but not one judged on looks per se. For one girl might be looking for the nicest guy or the funniest or the one who's mouth I want to visit, lol.
The confidence thing keeps coming up. Seriously, ladies, coming up to you is the confidence. It's your job not to be completely terrible and give whoever had the confidence to come up to you a chance. I definitely get the impression when I approach a girl they've got the "Oh no a fat guy" look going on. Really hoping this becomes less and less evident the slimmer I get.
It's not just the confidence to approach, it is overall confidence in yourself. Someone earlier mentioned joining different groups based on hobbies and interests, etc. This is a good idea because it gives you an opportunity to interact and girls will get to know you, and things will happen more organically. This is where you are going to find that your weight isn't going to be an issue. Just walking up to any girl anywhere is sort of like cold calling in sales. It's difficult to make a sale. If a girl is "out there" looking, say in a bar, and there are 100 guys in there, most likely she is comparing.
Won't I just be competing with the better looking guys in whatever group I join? And won't the women there just be interested in the activity or do women join groups as a side way to meet people?
Ugh so now I need to worry about getting thousands in dental work too. Let me guess, hair plugs too?0 -
At 6'2'', 242 pds. women would run away if they saw me walking towards them. fast forward 11 months and 50 pds lighter , these same women now chat me up in the elevator. Stick with the program and believe in yourself, good things will happen.0
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Not at all. Just get to know eachother first and someone may be interested. Surely you can't even decide whether you want to be with someone without getting to know them first? Don't be so hard on yourself
Yeah you may be "competing" against better looking guys (although that is subjective) but it will give people a chance to get to know your personality, which isn't really possible in a place like a bar where you only really get a first impression, which is generally your looks. Plus at least you know you'll have at least one thing in common.
The confidence thing keeps coming up. Seriously, ladies, coming up to you is the confidence. It's your job not to be completely terrible and give whoever had the confidence to come up to you a chance. I definitely get the impression when I approach a girl they've got the "Oh no a fat guy" look going on. Really hoping this becomes less and less evident the slimmer I get.
It's not just the confidence to approach, it is overall confidence in yourself. Someone earlier mentioned joining different groups based on hobbies and interests, etc. This is a good idea because it gives you an opportunity to interact and girls will get to know you, and things will happen more organically. This is where you are going to find that your weight isn't going to be an issue. Just walking up to any girl anywhere is sort of like cold calling in sales. It's difficult to make a sale. If a girl is "out there" looking, say in a bar, and there are 100 guys in there, most likely she is comparing.
Won't I just be competing with the better looking guys in whatever group I join? And won't the women there just be interested in the activity or do women join groups as a side way to meet people?
Make friends first and then see if there is any mutual interest between you and someone else there.
Friend zone0 -
What country do you live in where MEN get rejected by WOMEN due to their weight? I want to move there!!!
Weight isn't the deciding factor. How many overweight men/women have good looking/ in shape significant others? MANY. Queue confidence, looks (face), personality, smell...
PS HOPE YOU AREN'T DOING THIS AT A BAR. Because lots of women walk away from ALL guys at bars. hahahaha.0
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