Please tell me my mom is wrong!

Your mom is wrong. You can absolutely be a 10/12 again-- you can be slimmer than a 10/12 if you choose!

My mom tells me on a regular basis that I "will never be a skinny minnie" and that my body type "will always be on the side" because I am "a big girl and there's nothing wrong with that." Basically, my mom likes to tell me that my body is fat, that it will always be fat, and that there is nothing I can do to not be fat, so why try?

Here's how I have handled it:

1. I have told my mom that fat is not a body type, and that she needs to not talk with me about my weight or size. Ever.

2. I am using her words as my biggest motivation. When I want to quit, I can hear her in my mind telling me that I will never be a skinny minnie. And it makes me push harder. Because I can't wait for the day when I can show her how very very wrong she is. (To be clear, my goal isn't to be "skinny." My goal is to be fit!)

I'm sorry to hear that your mom said that- know that it is not by any means true.

I'm 24- (well, I will be in less than a month) and I'm about 142ish lbs at the moment (5'4''- my healthiest weight has been 130) and I see no reason why I can't drop 12 lbs and be at my healthiest/thinnest again.
I don't think you should aspire to be "as you were in college" per say, I think you should set a goal to be healthy, and happy. If a size 10/12 is what you're happy and healthiest at, then aspire for that! If you set a goal- you can reach it-regardless of your age.

24 is not old- and I should tell you, it's never too late.
My mom lost about 50 lbs when she was 58- and she's kept it off since and she'll be 62 this year.
Your mom may be saying that to make herself feel more comfortable.
But you never have to settle- with anything. Your job, your partner, or your body. You do have the power to change and influence your own life- don't let others get in the way of that.
You do what you need to do- and you make yourself the happiest you possibly can.

So keep your head high, and just nod along with your mom when she says things like that. I'm sure you can find better support elsewhere. There are people in this world who will stand behind you no matter what- maybe you can explain to your mother how you need her to support you in every way possible.

Feel free to add me- I'm all for supporting no matter what

Good luck

I don't expect to be the size I was in college for one reason only - I was underweight then.

There is no reason to believe that I can't get to what would be a healthy weight for me now (and what it would have been then). And I'm 40, and have had 2 kids. It will take more work because I'm older, but if I put in the work it will happen.

Same for you - if you put in the work (ie - treat your body right, feed it healthy foods in healthy portions, get some exercise) it will happen. People who tell you otherwise have simply given up on themselves, and expect you to do the same.

For a while I got bigger (fatter) than my mom and it was a point of pride with her. The more weight I lose, the less clothes she wears (mini skirts, halter tops) ... I guess it is a female thing to want to look your best and some women can't do that without bringing other down.

Long story short ... Blow it off. My Mom's hurtful actions and words kept me heavy for 10 years thinking I could never be thin. I was thin before, I will be again. The End ... You will lose the weight if you set your mind to it. I have faith in you.

She's wrong! hang those jeans up in your bathroom for inspiration!

I file things like that under "Mom-isms" . They live in that file because they are a Part of Her Beliefs but they have No Bearing and No Weight on My Belief or My Life Possibilities. It was actually my Mother In Law who said the most hurtful things about my Parenting but I learned to deal with her comments, suggestions, and "Advice" by putting it in her "File", Thanking her if appropriate, and FORGETTING IT. I think it would work with ANY relationship.
BTW, I am 55 years old, and after MANY years in Sizes 22 -26, I am now a Size 8 - 10 or "Small" in most clothes.

edited to add: In college I was a Size 16 / 18

Your mom is wrong - mostly... at least in your case, she is. I can say that my hips spread (and stayed wider) after carrying and giving birth to two children. Without a doubt in my mind.

What your mom is referring too is "almost" true... meaning back then, and still today, some thought (think) it's inevitable to "take weight" at a certain age. They didn't know why so, it must be age.

Yes and no.

As we age, we are less active but with the same eating habit. Result? You "change". Put some weight.

Simple as that. So begin your journey to your old weight like we do!

:drinker:

Very wrong. It's not as if you're aiming for a size you were as a child. Getting back to size 10/12 is completely realistic.

She is wrong now prove it to her.

My jean size now is the same size I wore my senior year in high school back in 2003...It can definitely be done

There are some hormonal changes at menopause that significantly impact weight distribution and fat storage, but that is a long way off, set your goals to be healthy and you can achieve your goals.

I'm sorry your mom said that to you, and really, her atittude towards it is kind of what's wrong with our thought process about weight these days. So many people think getting older (even just out-of-college older) means you HAVE to put on weight or that your body isn't capable of maintaining a healthy weight anymore. Sure, your metabolism may change, but you can ALWAYS control how much you weigh through diet and exercise. There's never a time when you can't make that change for yourself, as long as you know your own body and how much you should be eating to lose. Keep your head up!

ETA: Just looked back at your OP, and good grief, you're only 24! She shouldn't be telling you not to aspire to be the best, fittest you--you're still in your 20's!

She's probably just mad that she isn't her college weight.

I'm 25 now, I slowly gained 25 lbs. throughout college and during the time I worked in retail after college. I started law school and I've lost 30 lbs so I'm smaller than I was in high school. So obvi she is wrong.