Please tell me my mom is wrong!

So, I am 24 years old. When I started college at age 18, I weighed a healthy 165 lbs (I'm 5'10"). I should also add that during high school, I lost about 50 pounds to get down to that 165. Now, as a medical student, I've gotten up to 230 lbs due to inactivity and excessive eating. To make a long story short, I offered a pair of my smaller jeans to my younger sister (these jeans fit me when I was about 190 lbs) and they didn't fit her, so my mom suggested she give them to a friend. I said, "Oh, don't do that... I'm planning to be able to fit back into those soon." She replied, "Honey, we can't all be the same size as we were in college. Your body has changed." Basically, her theory is that women shouldn't aspire to be the size they were in college (for me, that was a size 10/12... nothing crazy) because as they age, their bodies somehow magically morph into something unrecognizable. I mean... I don't see any truth in her logic, but it still is really discouraging to hear.

I know that a lot of members have commented about hurtful things their moms have said to them regarding weight (either loss or gain). Is it just a mom thing? Has anyone figured out how to filter and disregard this sort of jealous, discouraging mom talk? It really gets to me.

your body may have 'changed'...but haven't you ever seen the talk shows where the nerd/fat kid from HS is now some hottie? You HAVE the muscles, etc in there, and it is up to you to shed the fat suit.

I was 135lbs when I got pregnant the first time...I have been as high as 228lbs. Right now I am working on weight training, and I am hoping to get back down into a size 8/10--something I have not done in 18 years. I am pretty sure I can do it too--I'm in a 14 now and 50lbs away from goal weight.

WRONG WRONG WRONG. I think I may have hit my current weight in between 5th and 6th grades, but was never this weight/size as an adult. For me it was my mother-in-law after my first child ... "you'll never look the same again." And I don't. I'm way smaller, stronger and healthier! You can do it!

I am 25 years old. Sure my hips have widened for more of a figure (no pregnancies) but I am 10 lbs away from my lowest high school weight. I lost maybe 20 lbs in highschool to be 120 lbs. I really dont know what my high number was.

In 4 pounds, I will be the same weight and size I was when I graduated from college in 1976. Even two children later everything seems to be in about the same place.

I don't know, I looked at my dad today and said that I was going to wear a pair of jeans smaller than he is one day. He's an average healthy size..between 32-33 waist in jeans...sometimes smaller (in the summer) and he looked at me and laughed " No you won't.." "why??" " He's like because you've got big hips.." I was like yeah okay we'll see.

I'm 28 and in a size 6 - so it can absolutely be done! I started at a size 18W! And as for your mom - if she can't support what you want to do, learn to ignore her! I know that's hard. My mom and I went through the weight loss journey together and we were each others best support system and I'm sorry you don't have that with your mom. Between the two of us we lost about 160 pounds (a whole other person!) Don't be discouraged! You CAN do this!

It is a mom thing! I don't know why - but there must be some complex psychological theory to explain it - but mothers/daughters tend to exhibit a slight variation of jealousy towards each other. It's partially out of love - because you don't want the other person to suffer by dieting too hard - but its also partially a situation where moms/daughters feel like they should be identical so when one gets healthier than the other the other one feels like she should correct it so they are the same again because otherwise she has to admit that maybe she should get healthy too which is much harder.

I used to have it bad with my mom. She got better with time though, because she saw how sad gaining weight made me feel, and how much happier I was when I got back down to my maintenance weight. Just the other day she even supported me. It was a big step! Try confronting her about it. Don't let the little things ruin your relationship with your mother, because you only have one mom!

I'm sorry that your mom said that to you. That's not the best thing for anybody to ever say to anybody, especially their own flesh and blood. However, i'd just like to say that she's wrong. IF you have the will and the desire to get smaller/fitter/healthier then you can achieve it. There's no special age when, especially a woman, you magically gain weight and will never go back down. That's hogwash!
For example, i'm the fittest i've been since freshman year of high school i bet (meanwhile, i graduated high school in '03). I'm actually 5 lbs less then i ever was in High school....Not to say that i was big in high school, i was at the normal weight for my age; but due to unhealthy practices.
I've got 2 Kids, a 6 1/2 year old and an almost 4 year old and i'm the smalles i've been since 1999! Yes, 1999! It's totally achievable you just have to put your mind to it and work on it.
Perhaps your mom is just stuck in the old mind frame about how once you hit your 20's that's the smallest you'll ever be again and once you start to gain say 'bye bye' to ever being that size again. It's a sad reality to some i think.
Keep your head up, you'll reach your goal in time and then you can tell everybody that doubted you that you did it, and on your own terms.

It most definitely can be done. I'll be 43 in two weeks and I'm currently wearing a smaller size than I was at 25. I will say this though, my body shape is somewhat different, my hips are wider and chest is smaller (big bummer). Our bodies do change, but that doesn't mean you can never get back to a particular size or weight, that is just crazy talk.

I agree with others, use it for motivation. Nothing motivates me more than someone telling me I can't do something. :laugh:

((Hugs to you))

Yes your Mom is wrong.. you can achieve whatever weight loss goals you would like to achieve. Maybe prove her wrong as long as its a goal that you yourself want. The key here is embarking on something FOR YOU not her.

Mothers are a funny species at times... My mom after she had children has been a size 18 - 24. She has never been a small woman. I have NEVER I mean NEVER said a word to her about her weight or asked her about her eating/exercise program - her progress... not ANYTHING... I didn't want her to feel bad. Yet she ALWAYS asked me how I was doing on my weight loss.

Her making comments and consistently checking in about it - made me feel bad for any efforts I was making. I finally broke down and just flat out told her that any comments about my weight were hurtful and to please stop. She no longer says a word about it... just the way I like it! Good luck!