Guys, be honest,....
Replies
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It really depends with me. I like dudes... I have dated all kinds, I prefer tall ones with light coloured eyes and GIANT BRAINS! I have never been skinny, I have however been out with a NFL player, an ASU Football player (or two), a semi-pro skateboarder (who also fronted a very popular local band after he screwed up his knees), and several geniuses. So I really think it probably depends in general. Obviously all these men saw something in me that they liked, attitude, curves, or maybe something else.
I date based on what I find attractive which could be anything, been out with fat ones, thin ones, tall ones, short ones... as long as they are smart ones (learned my lesson with the NFL guy, I need a big big brain. We did not make it to date number 2, even though he asked)
Cyn0 -
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You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.
There are attractive overweight women. But you can't help but thing "damn, she's be really hot if she dropped some weight". Does that make me a ****? I don't think so.
Yup, it kind of does.
Would it make him an *kitten* if he said, "Wow, you look better with shorter hair!" Like, some men prefer longer hair, some shorter.
In this case, a preference for a healthier weight is... a preference for more health.
And if we're going to dispute the whole, "Omg being a healthy weight doesn't mean being healthy!," please refer to all posts which have devolved into flame wars on that subject :laugh:0 -
You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.
There are attractive overweight women. But you can't help but thing "damn, she's be really hot if she dropped some weight". Does that make me a ****? I don't think so.
Nope, just honest.
I've had the same thought process with men.
Where the "it doesn't matter" part comes in is if you get to know someone. They either gain or lose attractiveness based on their personality. There are plenty of men and women who are hot and then the more they open their mouth the less attractive they become...
..same for the other way around.0 -
You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.
There are attractive overweight women. But you can't help but thing "damn, she's be really hot if she dropped some weight". Does that make me a ****? I don't think so.
Yup, it kind of does.
why? Just as someone's attracted to tall women vs short women...some are attracted to slim women as opposed to overweight women.
Yea I don't think that is bad at all. I have been around a few guys and though "if he was a little taller I would find him so hot!" No one ever flamed me for that.0 -
Frankly, I think if you're attracted to men or women of a larger (obese or otherwise) weight, you're attracted moreso to the comfort level because you're fat too, because it's less threatening.
In example, if you got to your goal weight, are you sure you'd still be attracted to your "heavy, burly" man?
I have a super hot friend, and i mean SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER hot who is a total chubby chaser. I have seen her go out with one skinny dude ever, and that was to be kind. Her husband, while in shape, is a burly thick man.
I am going to go with the it depends on the person theory.
Cyn0 -
She looks good to me.Guys, be honest....are these women HOT or what?!
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Well, I think it's the same for most people: we are attracted to healthy-looking individuals. You know, it's just evolution and stuff, telling us to make healthy babies
I do find that males treated me differently when I was 30 lbs. heavier. But I don't think it was a conscious thing; I was just less attractive back then to the majority of them.
It happens.0 -
You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.
There are attractive overweight women. But you can't help but thing "damn, she's be really hot if she dropped some weight". Does that make me a ****? I don't think so.
Yup, it kind of does.
why? Just as someone's attracted to tall women vs short women...some are attracted to slim women as opposed to overweight women.
Yup, but the thought process of thinking "This person would be hot if they did xyz" is problematic and doesn't say great things about what kind of a person you are. It's fine to find certain attributes or body types more attractive than others, but it's generally not nice to look at a person and think of all the ways you could change them to fit YOUR sexual preferences.0 -
"Its much more of a problem with guys"
Please, no more victimizing your gender crap. People are people and people are typically shallow. Females do it just as much as males do, trust me. Its a humanity thing, if you want to blame something, blame that, not gender.
As far as my personal taste, I am most attracted to girls with some thickness to them honestly. I would say from a little bit to kind of chubby and overweight. I'm not physically attracted to females who are too small (anorexic) or too big (severely obese and it shows), but attraction only goes so far for me personally anyways. I can think you're the most beautiful creature on earth, but that doesn't really sway me much. I might be more prone to try to get to know you and talk to you, but what happens after that is what truly determines everything for me.0 -
You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.
There are attractive overweight women. But you can't help but thing "damn, she's be really hot if she dropped some weight". Does that make me a ****? I don't think so.
Yup, it kind of does.
Would it make him an *kitten* if he said, "Wow, you look better with shorter hair!" Like, some men prefer longer hair, some shorter.
In this case, a preference for a healthier weight is... a preference for more health.
And if we're going to dispute the whole, "Omg being a healthy weight doesn't mean being healthy!," please refer to all posts which have devolved into flame wars on that subject :laugh:
So I'm supposed to feel guilty because I think an attractive overweight woman would be even more attractive is slimmed down? Whos says? Sorry for being honest. I'm sure women do the same about men. Its the easily butthurt people that take offense to that.0 -
You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.
There are attractive overweight women. But you can't help but thing "damn, she's be really hot if she dropped some weight". Does that make me a ****? I don't think so.
Yup, it kind of does.
why? Just as someone's attracted to tall women vs short women...some are attracted to slim women as opposed to overweight women.
Yup, but the thought process of thinking "This person would be hot if they did xyz" is problematic and doesn't say great things about what kind of a person you are. It's fine to find certain attributes or body types more attractive than others, but it's generally not nice to look at a person and think of all the ways you could change them to fit YOUR sexual preferences.
i respect your opinion on the matter but I don't agree with you. Me thinking that way doesn't make me a bad person like you'd like to believe.0 -
I don't know what it is, but my SO fell in love with me and my body at 300 or so pounds, thinks I'm hot and sexy and I do it for them. Our sex life is amazing, but that is just my own personal account.0
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You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.
There are attractive overweight women. But you can't help but thing "damn, she's be really hot if she dropped some weight". Does that make me a ****? I don't think so.
Yup, it kind of does.
why? Just as someone's attracted to tall women vs short women...some are attracted to slim women as opposed to overweight women.
Yup, but the thought process of thinking "This person would be hot if they did xyz" is problematic and doesn't say great things about what kind of a person you are. It's fine to find certain attributes or body types more attractive than others, but it's generally not nice to look at a person and think of all the ways you could change them to fit YOUR sexual preferences.
he said he thought it, not said it. you can't demand that people adhere to your views with their private thoughts. if he yelled out "damn girl, you'd be so hot if you weren't fat!", then yeah... go after him for being an a--... but for merely thinking it? no, that's not wrong. that's just his honest thought.0 -
You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.
There are attractive overweight women. But you can't help but thing "damn, she's be really hot if she dropped some weight". Does that make me a ****? I don't think so.
Yup, it kind of does.
why? Just as someone's attracted to tall women vs short women...some are attracted to slim women as opposed to overweight women.
Yup, but the thought process of thinking "This person would be hot if they did xyz" is problematic and doesn't say great things about what kind of a person you are. It's fine to find certain attributes or body types more attractive than others, but it's generally not nice to look at a person and think of all the ways you could change them to fit YOUR sexual preferences.
It only seems problematic if that person decided to control/manipulate/pressure someone into changing for them.
The whole context of this debate was just simple/initial attraction. Seeing someone and thinking, "Damn, he's hot but he doesn't do it for me because he's shorter than me" or "Damn, she's got a cute face, but she's a bit too big for my tastes" is much different than telling someone, "Hey, I think you're cute, but I don't like that you're a., b., or c."
It's not looking at a person and thinking what you'd do to change them; it's looking at someone and comparing them to your own personal preferences. o_O0 -
I am slightly curious as to why you are wonder. I mean, are you thinking about being hot in the eyes of other men? Does your husband make fun of you?0
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You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.
There are attractive overweight women. But you can't help but thing "damn, she's be really hot if she dropped some weight". Does that make me a ****? I don't think so.
Yup, it kind of does.
why? Just as someone's attracted to tall women vs short women...some are attracted to slim women as opposed to overweight women.
Yup, but the thought process of thinking "This person would be hot if they did xyz" is problematic and doesn't say great things about what kind of a person you are. It's fine to find certain attributes or body types more attractive than others, but it's generally not nice to look at a person and think of all the ways you could change them to fit YOUR sexual preferences.
he said he thought it, not said it. you can't demand that people adhere to your views with their private thoughts. if he yelled out "damn girl, you'd be so hot if you weren't fat!", then yeah... go after him for being an a--... but for merely thinking it? no, that's not wrong. that's just his honest thought.
You're so right, let's all stop caring when people admit to problematic thoughts because they "merely" thought it. I privately think that all white cis hetero males should be flogged, but you can't get mad at me for it, because I only think about it.0 -
Depends on preference. Some guys have a preference or fetish for really large (or just curvy) women. Some women like huskier guys. I see all types of people with all body types.
Just depends on what you personally find attractive.0 -
Hmm. Even when I was 264, I never had a problem getting dates; guys came up to me and asked me out all the time. I'm pretty confidant, and I think that makes a huge difference. If you don't like yourself, you're putting that vibe out there.0
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You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.
There are attractive overweight women. But you can't help but thing "damn, she's be really hot if she dropped some weight". Does that make me a ****? I don't think so.
Yup, it kind of does.
why? Just as someone's attracted to tall women vs short women...some are attracted to slim women as opposed to overweight women.
Yup, but the thought process of thinking "This person would be hot if they did xyz" is problematic and doesn't say great things about what kind of a person you are. It's fine to find certain attributes or body types more attractive than others, but it's generally not nice to look at a person and think of all the ways you could change them to fit YOUR sexual preferences.
he said he thought it, not said it. you can't demand that people adhere to your views with their private thoughts. if he yelled out "damn girl, you'd be so hot if you weren't fat!", then yeah... go after him for being an a--... but for merely thinking it? no, that's not wrong. that's just his honest thought.
This, i just think it. No way I'd say it to someone. I know that would most likely hurt their feelings.0 -
i think this goes both ways is it? i think this has something to do our primal instinct's way of choosing the right mate as fit people tend to be healthy for re-production and appears to be capable survivor.0
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I find this topic interesting. When I was heavier, I didn't find myself attractive, and I wasn't interested in dating anyone who found me attractive in that state. I value an active lifestyle and health, and didn't feel that I depicted that, and anyone who found me attractive overweight, their values in that aspect don't line up with mine. So I took it upon myself to change. I dunno, I know it sounds like a weird and shallow perspective, but it's honest.0
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Depends on preference. Some guys have a preference or fetish for really large (or just curvy) women. Some women like huskier guys. I see all types of people with all body types.
Just depends on what you personally find attractive.he said he thought it, not said it. you can't demand that people adhere to your views with their private thoughts. if he yelled out "damn girl, you'd be so hot if you weren't fat!", then yeah... go after him for being an a--... but for merely thinking it? no, that's not wrong. that's just his honest thought.
I can see what you're saying, but yea, thought crimes aren't really crimes.
The "you'd be hot if ____" thing is only really problematic if it manifests itself in a harmful way, like someone saying that to them and meaning it as a legitimate compliment (it's not.)0 -
i think this goes both ways is it? i think this has something to do our primal instinct's way of choosing the right mate as fit people tend to be healthy for re-production and appears to be capable survivor.
Brb letting my girlfriend and all the guys/gals who think I'm hot know that their primal instincts are flawed.0 -
Ahem..Sarah Rue?? yummmm0
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From a female perspective... I also like husky men... I like them a bit taller and mid 200's... I want to feel safe and protected.
Personally a guy who is skinny or too 'buff' is a HUGE turnoff for me.
Again, everyone has their own likes/dislikes.0 -
You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.
There are attractive overweight women. But you can't help but thing "damn, she's be really hot if she dropped some weight". Does that make me a ****? I don't think so.
Yup, it kind of does.
why? Just as someone's attracted to tall women vs short women...some are attracted to slim women as opposed to overweight women.
Yup, but the thought process of thinking "This person would be hot if they did xyz" is problematic and doesn't say great things about what kind of a person you are. It's fine to find certain attributes or body types more attractive than others, but it's generally not nice to look at a person and think of all the ways you could change them to fit YOUR sexual preferences.
he said he thought it, not said it. you can't demand that people adhere to your views with their private thoughts. if he yelled out "damn girl, you'd be so hot if you weren't fat!", then yeah... go after him for being an a--... but for merely thinking it? no, that's not wrong. that's just his honest thought.
You're so right, let's all stop caring when people admit to problematic thoughts because they "merely" thought it. I privately think that all white cis hetero males should be flogged, but you can't get mad at me for it, because I only think about it.
Oh my; is this where we're going? You can't fault cis hetero males for their preferences no more than you can fault a gender queer person for there's. Having a thought that is, "I'm not initially attracted to this person" and knowing why that is is NOT problematic. By this logic, ever thinking someone is unattractive, be it their weight, height, nose shape, etc. is "problematic."0 -
I find this topic interesting. When I was heavier, I didn't find myself attractive, and I wasn't interested in dating anyone who found me attractive in that state. I value an active lifestyle and health, and didn't feel that I depicted that, and anyone who found me attractive overweight, their values in that aspect don't line up with mine. So I took it upon myself to change. I dunno, I know it sounds like a weird and shallow perspective, but it's honest.
This!!! Its so hard to explain but this is exactly it.0 -
You're so right, let's all stop caring when people admit to problematic thoughts because they "merely" thought it. I privately think that all white cis hetero males should be flogged, but you can't get mad at me for it, because I only think about it.
i'm not mad at you. so long as you don't try to carry out any floggings, we're good. :bigsmile:
PS - what is cis? i have no idea what that means.0 -
i think this goes both ways is it? i think this has something to do our primal instinct's way of choosing the right mate as fit people tend to be healthy for re-production and appears to be capable survivor.
Brb letting my girlfriend and all the guys/gals who think I'm hot know that their primal instincts are flawed.
LOL.
That first one is a joke, right?0
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