How many sexual partners are considered too many?

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Replies

  • xSakura
    xSakura Posts: 288 Member
    Since its 2012, if you are safe, don't cheat on anybody, and are honest about your intentions I don't really think its about the number.

    ^ This.

    If you're in a relationship, then obviously just the one. If you're not, and you make it clear to the person you're seeing that you don't want a relationship (prevent letting them down and creating a bad reputation for yourself) then I think it's fine, as many as you want, really :laugh:
  • tdbad1
    tdbad1 Posts: 87 Member
    I needed a good belly laugh, thank you everyone,lol.
  • katcunock
    katcunock Posts: 664 Member


    Yeah dude sometimes I'm sitting here bored at work thinking about what I have done and I'm like her...oh yeah!

    Makes me really wonder what I have done drunk that I cant remember :/

    yes!

    or just who wasn't worth remembering......
  • witchy_wife
    witchy_wife Posts: 792 Member
    I have a very low number. I only get involved with a girl once I know she's one I'd like to spend a lot of time with and can connect. If I cannot connect with her, I won't sleep with her. As a BBer, I could easily bag several a week, esp when I'm cut up and towards show ready. Would I want to? No, not at all - nothing more revolting in my eyes than a new partner every week/month.

    When I'm ready to sleep with someone, they become the only person in my eyes, no one else exists and I'll never look elsewhere nor cheat. Just not my style nor how I work.

    I *hate* when I get mail here and on facebook from women saying what they like about me and what they'd like to do. Makes me cringe. A woman with self respect IMO goes a long way.

    Will never apologise for my view on it tho, its how I was raised and how I learned to respect myself and others.

    I think that is a lovely way to think of it!

    Honestly I don't care how many people someone sleeps with. I've been young and single, been there, done that. The sex with any of those doesn't even come close to the intimacy and the satisfaction of sex with my husband.

    If I met a guy (if I was single) and he was bragging about how many girls he had been with then I would find that very offputting. Not because of the number, but because of the bragging. If I met and fell in love with someone and he later told me some huge number, as long as I was sure he had used protection and was faithfull then it woudn't be an issue for me.

    I know in my younger wilder days, a lot of the jumping in to bed with people was to try and make myself feel better about me...... I now realise that was NOT the way to go about it. But I can't turn the clock back and am happily in love with an amazing guy so no regrets.
  • Xaspar
    Xaspar Posts: 726 Member
    I don't think it is anyone's business to judge my sexual encounters but me... For me, I am not satisfied with a one night stand. Don't get me wrong, I am sure they have their place and it means different things to different people. I personally enjoy sex more if there is some measure of a relationship involved. But that relationship can be defined many ways. A casual sexual relationship where both parties are on the same page has its allure. As does a more personal deeper relationship where sexual expression is just one factor. For me, it's not about the number, but about the reasons behind it and why I am in that situation to begin with. Safe, consensual, honest and mutual expectations are important factors, not how many partners I, or my partner has had.
  • wbgolden
    wbgolden Posts: 2,066 Member
    X + 2 is too many. X + 1 is perfect.

    Where x = current number of exes, and 1 is whoever you end up with for the rest of your life.

    Simple, basic algebra :P
  • wrevhn
    wrevhn Posts: 864 Member
    well, If I could go back and practice restraint I would. I feel a tad guilty about not waiting until I was married. I never cared, never thought I'd meet a guy who was so romantic he wanted to wait for true love (me) I did not think ppl were really that good. So I feel bad about my number.

    I agree no one should brag. its bedroom stuff, it should stay there. its not a competition. and those who are trying to compete, there is usually a reason why.
  • TrekkieChic
    TrekkieChic Posts: 109 Member
    I have a very low number. I only get involved with a girl once I know she's one I'd like to spend a lot of time with and can connect. If I cannot connect with her, I won't sleep with her. As a BBer, I could easily bag several a week, esp when I'm cut up and towards show ready. Would I want to? No, not at all - nothing more revolting in my eyes than a new partner every week/month.

    When I'm ready to sleep with someone, they become the only person in my eyes, no one else exists and I'll never look elsewhere nor cheat. Just not my style nor how I work.

    I *hate* when I get mail here and on facebook from women saying what they like about me and what they'd like to do. Makes me cringe. A woman with self respect IMO goes a long way.

    Will never apologise for my view on it tho, its how I was raised and how I learned to respect myself and others.

    You're just saying that to pick up women!
  • Skinny_minny_mo
    Skinny_minny_mo Posts: 1,272 Member
    my friends flatmate - a french *kitten* (no offence to other frenchies) has slept with 34 women in the 2 years he's been here in South Africa.

    He's cheated on his current gf 7 times (and they've only been seeing each other for 2 months). I'm just super amazed how girls fall into bed with him!

    p.s he's given crabs to a girl and God knows what else.
    pps he only dates Christian girls because religion is important to him :laugh: :laugh:

    so my question is, do you think that's too many?

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    So I 've been wondering this how many sexual partners are too many?

    I don't meant at the same time (but if at the same time I don't mind it).

    Just how many in a year, a month or a life are too many? I don't think there's such a number as too many (as long as you aren't lying to anybody) but some people (quote a different topic) called those of us who like one night stands "sluts" so under her judgement I am a slut, but seeing it the way I do I am just a guy who enjoys life and is responsible and consensual about what he does.

    It also reminds me of the movie "What's your number?"

    If the number of partners you've had bothers YOU then it's too many. It's no one else's business.
  • Skinny_minny_mo
    Skinny_minny_mo Posts: 1,272 Member
    I have a very low number. I only get involved with a girl once I know she's one I'd like to spend a lot of time with and can connect. If I cannot connect with her, I won't sleep with her. As a BBer, I could easily bag several a week, esp when I'm cut up and towards show ready. Would I want to? No, not at all - nothing more revolting in my eyes than a new partner every week/month.

    When I'm ready to sleep with someone, they become the only person in my eyes, no one else exists and I'll never look elsewhere nor cheat. Just not my style nor how I work.

    I *hate* when I get mail here and on facebook from women saying what they like about me and what they'd like to do. Makes me cringe. A woman with self respect IMO goes a long way.

    Will never apologise for my view on it tho, its how I was raised and how I learned to respect myself and others.

    wwoooaaahhhh just because someone messages you, it doesnt mean they want to bang you! dont assume and dont be so judgemental!
  • joehempel
    joehempel Posts: 1,543 Member
    Like a couple people, my number is very very low as well. There HAS to be feelings involved, I can't just do one-nighters.

    That being said, if you are with someone, don't expect them to have the same number or less, you can't punish them for what they did before you just because you didn't agree....the point is they are with you now, and in my case my number won't go up again.
  • coffee_rocks
    coffee_rocks Posts: 275 Member
    I figure it is around 3,300 or so. Married for 21 years, so I figure that's the number of times we've been "frisky" since then.

    My count, and my wife's count, of different partners is 1. Still a couple of us old-fashioned, wait until your are married, folks left in this world.
  • kykykenna
    kykykenna Posts: 656 Member
    Most interesting forum post I have read in FOREVER. Thanks! ( And it's hump day):bigsmile:
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
    You're just saying that to pick up women!

    I'm happily in a couple. Check my profile, it says exactly the same too.

    In fact first thing on my profile it says "FIRST THINGS FIRST - No flirty messages peeps - I'm taken and don't appreciate suggestive or flirty messages - ta!
    "

    I don't want, need or desire comments from women to help validate me. I know I've got a fairly decent body and could have a choice if I wanted. I don't.

    I respect my body and worship my other half, Yo Lazarov. She's the only girl on this planet I have eyes for. If people spent more time concentrating on their partners and less on other people, we'd have a lot more happy relationships :)
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    You need enough to know what the hell you're doing.
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
    wwoooaaahhhh just because someone messages you, it doesnt mean they want to bang you! dont assume and dont be so judgemental!

    Says she not knowing the content of the message I receive, you fool LOL :laugh:

    Offers of webcam sex, meeting up for one night, offers of shagging peoples girl friends whilst they watch are fairly clear cut. But no, you think I'm bragging. Even when I tell women I'm taking I'm told "well if she doesn't find out, it won't hurt her".

    I think I know what i'm on about.
  • witchy_wife
    witchy_wife Posts: 792 Member
    wwoooaaahhhh just because someone messages you, it doesnt mean they want to bang you! dont assume and dont be so judgemental!

    Says she not knowing the content of the message I receive, you fool LOL :laugh:

    Offers of webcam sex, meeting up for one night, offers of shagging peoples girl friends whilst they watch are fairly clear cut. But no, you think I'm bragging. Even when I tell women I'm taking I'm told "well if she doesn't find out, it won't hurt her".

    I think I know what i'm on about.

    Have to admit, although I haven't had those type of messages myself I have deleted a few people from my profile after all they did was post sexy photos of themselves and flirt continuously with the men commenting. It's absolutely their business but I am here for help getting fit and losing weight and if I make some online buddies along the way then great but that kind of thing I can do without.

    So I don't doubt at all that you get those type of messages!
  • scottbrown78
    scottbrown78 Posts: 142 Member
    Who, once past the age of 19, keeps count?
  • Arexxx
    Arexxx Posts: 486 Member
    As long as you're clean, not raped and respect who you're banging, I see no issue.

    The guy I lost my v plates to pressured and pushed me, and his number was in the hundreds. I used to think the two were related. But then I realised he was just an *kitten*, as several of my friends have slept with many people and they aren't sex addicted *kitten*.
  • Captainobvvious
    Captainobvvious Posts: 272 Member
    Who, once past the age of 19, keeps count?

    You're just bitter because you're not a Senator anymore.
  • scottbrown78
    scottbrown78 Posts: 142 Member
    Who, once past the age of 19, keeps count?

    You're just bitter because you're not a Senator anymore.


    lmao! It's ok, I still get the benefits/retirement even after only ONE term. Suckers.....
  • zombilishious
    zombilishious Posts: 1,250 Member
    3 is fine more then that is to much like ew ever thought about your not ONLY sleeping with that person your sleeping with everybody else they slept with and the people that the other people banged ya its like a chain so id say 3 is enough
    3?? I slept with 3 people while making this post!

    LOLOLOLOL A woman after my own heart! :flowerforyou:

    If you're clean, they're clean, and condoms are in place, what's the big deal? You see posts on hear all the time about ignoring the scale numbers. Is there really any difference here? Do what makes you feel good.
  • Captainobvvious
    Captainobvvious Posts: 272 Member
    3 is fine more then that is to much like ew ever thought about your not ONLY sleeping with that person your sleeping with everybody else they slept with and the people that the other people banged ya its like a chain so id say 3 is enough
    3?? I slept with 3 people while making this post!

    LOLOLOLOL A woman after my own heart! :flowerforyou:

    If you're clean, they're clean, and condoms are in place, what's the big deal? You see posts on hear all the time about ignoring the scale numbers. Is there really any difference here? Do what makes you feel good.

    Ok, I'm writing down my address... :tongue:
  • Tracy2750
    Tracy2750 Posts: 15
    Hmmmm.... I figure I'll weigh in for fun and since I'm older than most of the posters. I'm struggling a bit to not sound preachy, and not veer into TMI, so if I come off that way it's not my intent. I think it's all very personal. If you feel or view things differently than your peers or family that doesn't make either view wrong, just different. You have to be comfortable in your own skin. If you're out there playing casually and being honest and having fun with it, go for it! If you're having casual sex and feeling bad about it, stop. If whatever you're into - one-on-one, multiples, same sex, costumes, toys, gymnastics - is consensual, I think it's fine. Personally, I know my sister and I talk and our approaches are different and she's pretty shocked at my antics (she's a 5 minutes in the dark with the hubby and I'm fine in the bright sunshine with my guy, a tarp, and bottle of baby oil) but we've learned to just laugh about the differences. Personally, for me, it's always been more about the chemistry and the partner's views and likes than love or committment.

    I say go for it. Do what makes you happy. Life is short and amazing and to be enjoyed.
  • Tracy2750
    Tracy2750 Posts: 15
    PS - I have got to remember to get a photo on here!!!
  • Kat5343
    Kat5343 Posts: 451 Member
    3 is fine more then that is to much like ew ever thought about your not ONLY sleeping with that person your sleeping with everybody else they slept with and the people that the other people banged ya its like a chain so id say 3 is enough
    3?? I slept with 3 people while making this post!



    Awesome!!!! :laugh:
  • toomuchbootyindapants
    toomuchbootyindapants Posts: 811 Member
    I know my opinion won't be popular...but I respect my body (and although I enjoy sharing photos of it on occasion, that's a different story). While, true, I *am* married and therefore not sleeping with any other man but him....even if I wasn't - I'd be *ultra picky* about who I chose to share myself with. I'm old school in that idea, I guess. Sure sex is fun and I like it just as much as the next girl - but, it's such a personal thing. And having sex often times creates connections beyond the physical when emotions come into play and attachment becomes an issue (not to mention spiritual attachments, if you are into that). And quite frankly - I don't care how safe one is - the idea of picking up an STD is such a turn-off. WIth my libido as ravenous as it is - it would definitely SUCK to be single right now. I like to joke and say I'd sow my wild oats if I were single...but when it comes down to it, I wouldn't. And I'm *not* a prude...just love myself too much to let anyone in who may not be worthy. hahah ;)
  • PittShkr
    PittShkr Posts: 1,000 Member
    One person is too many... I prefer to be asexual!
  • Kelley528
    Kelley528 Posts: 319 Member
    it depends on how old you are...for example, some teenager who has already ran out of fingers to count their partners---too many. Some 80 yr old....not so bad.
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