school says granddaughter too fat
Replies
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I understand that some schools put an emphasis on health, but they should never do this.0
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I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss it. I wouldn't simply accept it either. I'd go to her paediatrician and get an expert opinion. I also wouldn't stress over it until I've seen the doctor.0
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Parents who have obese children know they have obese children. This program is not "for the greater good" it's a boneheaded idea that is based off a bad scaling system. Since my daughter's pediatrician is perfectly happy with her, the school sending a note saying she is fat is not going to do anything but make her uncomfortable about her weight. This is out of line.
Actually, they don't.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12226744
http://www.smh.com.au/national/health/parents-blind-to-early-obesity-in-children--report-20121001-26vge.html
http://www.foodmag.com.au/news/parents-unable-to-recognise-when-children-are-obes
OP, a nurse is a medical professional. You should take their advice. She's not sending you a note because she's bored and needs something to do. It's because she sees the possibility of a problem. Take your granddaughter to the doctor. Her pediatrician can help you determine if there is a problem or not, and help you come to a solution if there is.0 -
The National Child Measurement Programme in the UK measures and weighs children in reception and again in their final year of primary school. Parents can opt out if they choose to do so but will receive a letter from the Primary Care Trust with the results. If I received a letter home stating my child was in the overweight category I would be happy to meet with a professional to discuss further. I don't see that it needs to involve the child in an overt way as a label is not going to do the child any good. If the professional agreed the child wasn't overweight it would put my mind at rest.0
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My 4 year old granddaughter came home from school with a letter from the school nurse saying she was" obese". She wanted a home visit to discuss proper nutriction and calorie control.
This child weighs 44 pounds is 3 foot tall. She has no protruding stomach, her butt is normal looking. She has normal looking arms, no excess chub, her face is thin and her neck is thin. She wears normal size childrens clothing sizes with ease. She looks like a normal size little girl with no weight issue. (believe me we watch closely for the kids to not go down our road). But this little girl is solid, she doesn't look it but pick her up and you feel it.
The school is basing their opinion on the scale and not the body. What do you think of this?
I would do two things. One, I would talk to my child's doctor if she hasn't been for a checkup lately to ensure that her growth is on par with how she's been going since birth. If her doctor is concerned then I think there may be something to this.
But, from your stats she doesn't seem like she's too heavy to me. My 3 year old is around 40 lbs but isn't considered overweight - she's right on with her growth chart so far so there is no concern.
I would also talk to the school. I think it may be a good thing that they are trying to ensure kids/parents are taught healthy eating and habits early but they need to do it responsibly. To weigh a child and go solely on that does the child and their program a disservice. Without medical history, growth charts and the like, they cannot properly state if a child of this stature is overweight. The school nurse should know this and if she doesn't you could be the one to inform her.0 -
Goofy, goofy, goofy.
If the school sent anything back to me, I would be offended. It is not their job to monitor my child's weight, it is y husband, my docto and my responsibility. In addition, she is only a school nurse. When I was in school, I was sent home because the nurse thought I had a staff infection and the doc said it was only poision sumac. Send a letter back saying thank you, but no thank you. Go to your doc for a check up, and double check that she is all good.
My 2 yo is 32 pounds and solid as well. My doc says weight is not a concern until she is 5.0 -
I don't think it's anything to be offended over.
While you might be a great parent, lets face it, there are some pretty bad parents out there. Child care workers really can't judge who is and who isn't, and must act uniformly.
I'd rather have child care workers looking out for their charges than ignoring potential problems. After all, the children's health should be paramount.
We've had day care workers ask us about the occasional bumps and bruises on our children. It's off putting, but really they're just looking out for all of the kids.0 -
I would go with what the dr says on this.
I am really not thrilled with the trend of schools/government type places being in the business of parenting. People need to take back personal-responsibility and parent. I would flatly refuse a "home visit", none of the schools damn business. Get your gd out side for walks and play and she will be fine.0 -
What does your granddaughter's family doctor or pediatrician say?
Using the figures you gave, according to the CDC Healthy Weight BMI Percentile Calculator for Child and Teen English Version, your granddaughter weighs more than 99% of the girls her age and height.
http://apps.nccd.cdc.gov/dnpabmi/Calculator.aspx
you're basically saying what the nurse said and missed the part where the OP mentioned the nurse is basing this on the SCALE. Yes, she might WEIGH more than other kids, but it's all in the way they carry it/how they're built.
Oh, I understand that but they have to start somewhere and they're starting with the scale and the BMI calculator as adjusted for teens and children.
I get it. My daughter is off the charts height-wise and so has always been on the higher end weight-wise even though to look at her she is obviously quite slender.
But I would not flip out at having a letter sent home to me. I would do as I have suggested and see her pediatrician or I would write back and say thank you for your concern, we appreciate it, but so-and-so is 5'8" at 13 which puts her way into the 99th percentile for girls her age which is reflected in her weight.
I just don't see getting so upset about the school wanting to communicate to me that there *might* be a problem.0 -
Please do not ignore your school nurse. If you look up healthy BMI for children, your granddaughter is indeed obese. A BMI of 23.9 for her age is over 99% of children her age and is way too high. Please talk to your doctor and listen to your nurse, they only want what is best for your granddaughter. Sometimes it's difficult to be objective with the ones we love.0
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AWWWW, government schools. Arent they great! I'd have to have a meeting with the nurse, just to see what kind of physique she has (dollars to donuts she is not in the prime BMI range herself). And then tell her to pound sand!0
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My daughter is 5 and 40(inches)?? She weights 66lbs. Her doctor said shes heavier but shes solid theres no rolls, no belly. And if she gets a cold and doesnt want to eat i know she'll be okay becuz shes a bit bigger.0
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Obviously makes sense to have the family doctor check it out.
Many people at my job scoff when they get told by their doctor they are obese. For some reason people think obese=morbidly obese.0 -
Based on the height and weight entered, the CDC says your grand-daughter has a BMI is 23.9 , placing her BMI above the 99th percentile for girls age 4 years. It goes on to say this child is likely to have health-related problems because of weight and should be seen by a healthcare provider for further assessment. Rather than being sensitive to who weighted her and what right do they have, I'd have to thank someone for bringing this to light if I truly didn't know.0
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too get kids healthy would require parents to look at themselves, and that isn't going to happen.0
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So if the nurse is fat, it's ok that your child is fat?AWWWW, government schools. Arent they great! I'd have to have a meeting with the nurse, just to see what kind of physique she has (dollars to donuts she is not in the prime BMI range herself). And then tell her to pound sand!0
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No, it's ok because it's the meddling government!So if the nurse is fat, it's ok that your child is fat?AWWWW, government schools. Arent they great! I'd have to have a meeting with the nurse, just to see what kind of physique she has (dollars to donuts she is not in the prime BMI range herself). And then tell her to pound sand!0
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She might look perfectly fine. She might feel perfectly fine. But what the BMI is indicating is what will happen if she continues like this. People realize much too late that their health is at risk and if this letter can push you to go see your doctor and address the issue then the program is working in my opinion.0
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I have one more thought on this. Imagine someone's 8 year old develops juvenile diabetes. They go to the school to discuss with the nurse their child's medication needs and such. During the conversation the nurse lets slip that for the last 3 years she's been watching your child get larger, and larger. She was concerned that health problems might arise, but didn't inform you. She didn't want to offend, or embarrass you. How would you feel? I'm sure you wouldn't be grateful that your poor feelings didn't get hurt when you could have possibly prevented your child from having to suffer with being sick instead of just enjoying being a child and having fun. Admit it, if there was an issue I'm pretty sure fingers would be pointing.0
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I would call the nurse to decline the home visit and tell her what you told us. You can tell her your reasoning but you don't have to justify it to her. (I would try to get a letter from your family dr stating that your child is under their care and doing fine in case the school doesn't drop it and thinks you are a food-pushing mom that doesn't give a rip if her kid gets fat.)0
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If the school saw my daughter engaging in a dangerous practice and brought it to my attention I'd thank them
Take the child to a qualified pediatrician. If you have, politely let the school know the results.
Sometimes it does take a village...0 -
You say you don't want your granddaughter going down the same road as you, so why ignore the signs?!? Schools really aren't out to get you, and believe me school nurses have plenty of other things to do than waste time with parents that won't listen anyway. Please listen for your granddaughters sake! I am a teacher, and the majority of the students that I teach are overweight and parents just don't know, or don't want to know. Most of the parents are quite overweight as well, so they probably see this as "normal". Our coaches are required to do fitness evaluations and notify parents of any red flags. I was notified that my son had mild scoliosis and was VERY grateful! They also notify parents if kids are overweight, you should be thankful instead of outraged IMO.0
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Please do not ignore your school nurse. If you look up healthy BMI for children, your granddaughter is indeed obese. A BMI of 23.9 for her age is over 99% of children her age and is way too high. Please talk to your doctor and listen to your nurse, they only want what is best for your granddaughter. Sometimes it's difficult to be objective with the ones we love.
Yes...um, ever heard of the nanny state...do you want to be nannied?
Why should they be weighing your grand daughter and doing this? Are we not the guardians of our children and grand children and not the state? My son has not been measured or weighed since he was a baby...he is my concern not anyone else's. America and the UK need to change the way they do things a little...0 -
Please do not ignore your school nurse. If you look up healthy BMI for children, your granddaughter is indeed obese. A BMI of 23.9 for her age is over 99% of children her age and is way too high. Please talk to your doctor and listen to your nurse, they only want what is best for your granddaughter. Sometimes it's difficult to be objective with the ones we love.
Yes...um, ever heard of the nanny state...do you want to be nannied?
Why should they be weighing your grand daughter and doing this? Are we not the guardians of our children and grand children and not the state? My son has not been measured or weighed since he was a baby...he is my concern not anyone else's. America and the UK need to change the way they do things a little...
Do you not acknowledge that there is a childhood obesity problem in this country? Not all parents see the signs of obesity in children. Calling this to the attention of caregivers is hardly creating a "nanny state". They aren't seeking custody or legal action FGS, just bringing this problem to their attention.0 -
Me I'd tell them to mind their own freaking business and they better not ever say it to her or there would be hell to pay. Some schools just hire someone to play nurse, they aren't even real nurses. I had to go off on them before saying my kid had lice when it was dandruff. I went up there and chewed her out and told if she didn't know the difference between lice and dandruff then I could show her but if she ever had my kid sit in her office all day again for nothing then I'd be sure to see her fired from her job. The REAL nurse called me that afternoon and apologized for the incompetence of the other "nurse". She said she would not allow her to check heads again. Don't let them get away with it, if you do then it will happen to some other little girl who may already have self esteem issues. Stupid people.0
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Obviously makes sense to have the family doctor check it out.
Many people at my job scoff when they get told by their doctor they are obese. For some reason people think obese=morbidly obese.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
this
My husband is 'obese' too. He doesn't look it - he looks a bit overweight. It's a classification.
As to your daughter . . . No one in the 99th percentile for their age is a healthy weight.0 -
Wow, you sound pleasant.Me I'd tell them to mind their own freaking business and they better not ever say it to her or there would be hell to pay. Some schools just hire someone to play nurse, they aren't even real nurses. I had to go off on them before saying my kid had lice when it was dandruff. I went up there and chewed her out and told if she didn't know the difference between lice and dandruff then I could show her but if she ever had my kid sit in her office all day again for nothing then I'd be sure to see her fired from her job. The REAL nurse called me that afternoon and apologized for the incompetence of the other "nurse". She said she would not allow her to check heads again. Don't let them get away with it, if you do then it will happen to some other little girl who may already have self esteem issues. Stupid people.
Nobody said the girl got the letter (she's 4). A letter was sent to her HOME. They didn't tattoo it on her forehead...0 -
You have to understand, with children, there are standards, and it's not something you can judge by looks. There are special charts that determine this. I would talk to the nurse and dietitian and understand more before becoming offended. They are wanting your granddaughter to be healthy, they're not trying to offend anyone. If you want the best for your granddaughter, then follow it up. Obesity is a big issue for school age children, and if you don't nip it in the bud early, your granddaughter could have weight issues later in life.0
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Me I'd tell them to mind their own freaking business and they better not ever say it to her or there would be hell to pay. Some schools just hire someone to play nurse, they aren't even real nurses. I had to go off on them before saying my kid had lice when it was dandruff. I went up there and chewed her out and told if she didn't know the difference between lice and dandruff then I could show her but if she ever had my kid sit in her office all day again for nothing then I'd be sure to see her fired from her job. The REAL nurse called me that afternoon and apologized for the incompetence of the other "nurse". She said she would not allow her to check heads again. Don't let them get away with it, if you do then it will happen to some other little girl who may already have self esteem issues. Stupid people.
OMG your kid has dandruff?!0 -
Stop being so sensible. :mad:You have to understand, with children, there are standards, and it's not something you can judge by looks. There are special charts that determine this. I would talk to the nurse and dietitian and understand more before becoming offended. They are wanting your granddaughter to be healthy, they're not trying to offend anyone. If you want the best for your granddaughter, then follow it up. Obesity is a big issue for school age children, and if you don't nip it in the bud early, your granddaughter could have weight issues later in life.
You need to blow up and become hysterical because someone was following policy, ie. doing their job.0
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