school says granddaughter too fat

i hate that schools weigh children!!!!! for one thing i think it is not the schools place to tell parents how tocare for there kids and also, it is cruel to the children, who probably worry a lot about being weighed. They just strted to bring this in during my later school years, i paid my brother to go for me, or just plain refused, but i younger child couldnt probably easily do that. If I have kids, I will tell the school i am NOT having my child weighed and will even make sure they arent in school that day if need be. I just so strongly disagree eith it. You should just manage your childs health in the best way you can,in the family and with a dr, as you always have done, and ignore the schools attempt to butt in. I hope your poor daughter is OK xxxx

This is why there is such a problem with obeseity nowadays.

Managing someone's health the 'best way you can' doesn't always equate to the 'best way'. If a family thinks that processed, high sugar, low nutrient food is good because it has low calories, that doesn't mean it is best.
Doctors don't always pick up on such issues.

This is where I disgree,i think it is the parents responsibility and also RIGHT to manage their health, it is the schools simply to educate them, and schools have gone too far into other area in my opinion. Obviously different if the child is being abused or whatever but weight is not the schools concern. i hate the idea that profressionals and the state know better than the own parents! I think people are wrong saying the kids dont know... even as young as 4 they can. I used to spend so so much time like all year worrying about being weighed, it was horrible, I'd never put my child through that. And no amount of letters home calling me obese would help anyways. Parents already know if their child has health problems, including weight, it is not for the school to say. I am so against it. Does anyone know if parents have a right to opt their child out of it? Can the child themselves make that choice also? I would definitely opt outnd I think anyone else worried about it should do the same.

I just don't get it, why is everyone so much more obsessed with a number on the scale and a chart.. than a balanced diet and active lifestyle?

Does is matter about the number? Really? I understand from a schooling perspective, if that's the policy so be it and it's nice to have a reference when discussing 'issues' with parents of children in their care, rather than calling a kid 'fat' and risking the backlash from upset parents.. but is it really a good idea to weigh children regularly.. it sounds like it may spur obsessive behaviours and encourage eating disorders and self-esteem issues.. which can lead to polar opposite consequences, neither being healthy.

And does anyone here know enough about child dev to make such judgemental statements.. other than a chart they saw online?

I'm not saying obesity isn't an issue and I totally get on board with getting on top of weight issues before they spiral out of control, especially for the child's sake. but really.. is an outside body keeping tabs on weight really going to help matters when it's at the sole discretion of the family what they feed their child and the activities they pursue?

Just throw out the scales, buy some fresh food, turn off the TV and get outside!

Isn't there a theory that the simple act of observing something in action, changes that action.

So maybe seeing those numbers would change something for some people. Maybe not all, but it might for some. I know I changed my behavior when I saw a certain number on the scale. Maybe it holds the same for other people.

So maybe seeing that number will cause some people to buy fresh food and make some effort to feed their kids right, even if it doesn't entirely succeed.

singling out a 4 year old. 44 LBS at 3 feet I don't consider that obese. I see kids everyday who weigh twice that.

the school said my 8 yr old is overweight and the kid has a six pack! don't listen, i didn't!

I don't understand how a 4 year old girl could get that muscular though?

It is called being physically active. My 4 year old son weighs 48 pounds, is 3'10",can push 50 pound sacks of dog food around the house, runs instead of walks, can move my furniture by himself (including the leather couch, which is HEAVY). He plays and runs with the dogs, and is very, very physcially advanced for his age. He is in pre-K but is the size of 3rd graders. And can keep up physically with 6th graders. Because we don't have cable, we don't have XBox or Wii, and encourage our children to read and play. His favorite snacks are bananas, apples, grapes, and occassionally bread. His doctor says he is the most physically fit & healthy 4 year old he has ever seen. That is how.

"Weight" means nothing at 4 years old.. please. Get her body fat % tested and her BMI. #1 her Pediatrician will most likely laugh at the request, but still it will rule out 'obesity' or not. But at least a doctor will make the determination. Kids are just little people. Yes there are some physiological and systemic differences but they can be extremely muscular if they choose to be.

Google images for 'Richard Sandrak'. This kid's parents took crap for years about their young son's physique (the kid was completely shredded at like 5).

Let the doctor make the determination.

Oh and no screening should take place without consent....

I'm on board with those encouraging you to seek the counsel of the child's pediatrician. My 4yo is 3'3" and 30 lbs (lean, mean, crazy-monkey machine). Everyone's built differently.

My 4 year old granddaughter came home from school with a letter from the school nurse saying she was" obese". She wanted a home visit to discuss proper nutriction and calorie control.

This child weighs 44 pounds is 3 foot tall. She has no protruding stomach, her butt is normal looking. She has normal looking arms, no excess chub, her face is thin and her neck is thin. She wears normal size childrens clothing sizes with ease. She looks like a normal size little girl with no weight issue. (believe me we watch closely for the kids to not go down our road). But this little girl is solid, she doesn't look it but pick her up and you feel it.

The school is basing their opinion on the scale and not the body. What do you think of this?

What an outrage. Why a home visit? Why not send you nutritional info on a CD? It would be a lot more cost efficient than sending a nurse for a home visit. You realize that the school district cant afford this, so who is paying for it?

The real purpose here is called snooping and I suspect it has roots in obamacare. Have you visited your doctor lately? I have and the nurse came in with a laptop and tells me that they are required to ask lots of questions such as the use of seatbelts, exercise, eating habits, supplements, etc. ) This info is going into a central database and just may be used to our disadvantage such as future healthcare exclusions for preexisting conditions.

You can expect that the school nurse is required to document her visit and will fill out a bureaucratic form wanting certain information. Where is this info going? Do you think this info on your gdaughter will be disposed of when she graduates from school?

Tell this person that you appreciate their concern and tell them you will be taking your gdaughter for a physical and check into her weight; and if you want good advice, never let a person serving in this capacity to enter your home.

Personally I think asking for a home visit is intrusive and not needed at all. If anything, the nurse should have requested a conference and offered a home visit if the grandma/parent couldn't attend, or even a phone call. Why do they have to come visit the home? It almost sounds like intimidation or a fishing expedition.

Home visits are being offered more and more by a variety of professions that work with children. Especially depending on the area, there are parents that struggle to get to appointments, and people are more likely to keep their appointments when the professional comes to them. A nurse coming to someone's home will sit in the room you invite her into, not ask to go through your house or try to find evidence of child abuse or neglect. It sounds like an offer, not a demand or intimidation.

Edit: These visits were implemented more frequently long before Obama came to office. What is not cost efficient is waiting for parents to show up that don't when the nurse could have been seeing someone else. Home visits cut this risk way down.

Home visits are being offered more and more by a variety of professions that work with children. Especially depending on the area, there are parents that struggle to get to appointments, and people are more likely to keep their appointments when the professional comes to them. A nurse coming to someone's home will sit in the room you invite her into, not ask to go through your house or try to find evidence of child abuse or neglect. It sounds like an offer, not a demand or intimidation.

Yep, exactly ! I am as a parent welcome any home visit offer related my child. Home visits come on my term, my time availability, rather than i have to haul my kids through the city, finding the place spend half of my day to do the appointment.

My son had /has some development delays and we had dozens of visit from social workers, occupation therapist, speech therapist and physical therapist 2 yrs ago , when he was at the stage of making a diagnosis.
None of these people went through my home checking for anything. It was super convenient for me to tell them when to come , where to sit, and how long they can or can not say. They brought all kinds of information, plus kids are more comfortable at home, so it is easier to observe them in a relaxed environment.

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'Isn't there a theory that the simple act of observing something in action, changes that action.

So maybe seeing those numbers would change something for some people. Maybe not all, but it might for some. I know I changed my behavior when I saw a certain number on the scale. Maybe it holds the same for other people.

So maybe seeing that number will cause some people to buy fresh food and make some effort to feed their kids right, even if it doesn't entirely succeed.'
[/quote]

I think this is quite a naive outlook in all honesty, believing that people are oblivious to their behaviour and lifestyle choices until an outside force intervenes seems somewhat ridiculous (to me, at least).. for a very small minority this may be the case but in reality it's not so easy. People list a wide variety of reasons for poor diets; convenience/value for money being at the forefront.. a letter from school wont change that.

Maybe it's just because I've worked with children and as an outsider I have observed multiple manipulative behaviours centred around food. As I said before, old habits die hard; for parents.. Parents set themselves up for a fall the moment they 'reward' their child with some chocolate or a trip to the drive-through..

This is all beside my original point anyway, I wasn't attempting to get involved with a debate about whether it's right or wrong.. I was genuinely shocked that people aren't able to use their visuals to establish whether someone (of any age) is roughly a 'healthy weight' or not and for the OP if her granddaughter is truly happy and healthy then what is the point dragging the poor child to the Dr's to be poked and prodded?

As a final note I find it bordering insanity that everyone needs to be told what to do ALL the time, in every area of life (buy this, watch this, eat this, believe this, etc).. does everyone have their brain switched to idle or something?

I think a home visit is out of line as a first notification because this note gave the impression that the parent/guardian is doing something wrong and can lead to defensiveness rather than open communitication. A home visit also may be overheard by the child. I don't think the school should be pointing fingers about the problem but should start with a genuine discussion about the health of the child and ask the parent about the childs lifestyle before jumpting to conclusions. However, there is no reason why you couldn't meet with the nurse at the school to see what she has to say. If the conversation turns into accusations from the nurse you could end the discussion and advise you will contact her doctor.

Home visits are offered as a convenience. Schools are not social services. They aren't trying to intimidate you. A home visit should be scheduled when the child isn't home or arranged so that the child cannot overhear a private conversation. This is not about accusations; schools and other child professionals don't investigate child abuse and neglect, they call social services for this. There's no difference in offering a home visit or a visit at the school. The parent has the right to say, "No, thank you, I can come see you." I personally wouldn't want people coming to my home and would rather get myself to the school, but a parent dealing with a baby, a toddler, and online schooling for instance may feel very differently. The schools don't keep profiles on who has what life circumstances. I'm sure they sent the same letter to each child's parents that fell outside the normal guidelines.

That is just uncalled for... Since you said you're keeping an eye out as you don't want them going down your road, I assume that means she is eating healthy food. If she has no jiggle, and is active, and eating well, then they need to go by THAT and not the damn number on the scale. Maybe she's active enough that she already has some muscle development.

Sorry to say it love, but your Grand-daughter is Obese according to her BMI index. Source: http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcsite.nsf/pages/bmi4child
Based on graphs developed by the National Health Center for Statistics in collaboration with the National Centre for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion (2000).

You and her mother need to rethink what you consider as healthy and normal. 44 pounds is very fat for her height. Unless she is a muscular bodybuilder? which i doubt. Stop the denial and face the truth. Get the girls eating habits under control. Lay off the fast fatty foods, cakes, snacks and fizzy drinks, and get her to start eating fruits, veg and lean meats. This child is in the 95th percentile, which means, if she continues on this path of obesity she is destined for a life of health issues such as diabetes, high blood pressure & heart problems, liver & kidney problems, joint problems etc.

Face the truth and reality and start to make changes in her eating habits. It starts with the parents and family. Nick.

singling out a 4 year old. 44 LBS at 3 feet I don't consider that obese. I see kids everyday who weigh twice that.

I HIGHLY doubt you've seen a 88 lb, 3ft 4 year old and didn't think they weren't morbidly obese

I was almost 100 lbs at 5 y/o, but did not look at all obese. Just tall with good bone.

How tall were you?