Can a marriage survive??

My marriages have survived, so yes. You should probably be in marriage counseling if you want it to happen to yours, though.

MarriageS???

That was my thought as well...

JBU!

*spirit fingers* \m/

My marriages have survived, so yes. You should probably be in marriage counseling if you want it to happen to yours, though.

MarriageS???

ha!

Without going into personal details, Yes, it can work. You both have to want it and work at it.

My marriages have survived, so yes. You should probably be in marriage counseling if you want it to happen to yours, though.

MarriageS???

LMAO! I caught this too! How many marriages have you had that survived infidelity?

The broken trust would be worse then the actualy cheating to me.

sucks!

Does he take full and complete responsibility? Is he truly sorry? If so then yes, it can survive. Don't listen to the "Once a cheater, always a cheater" and "men are dogs", and "It's just in a man's nature" and all those others who have nothing to offer but silly one liners. You have to BOTH want to get past it and you have to BOTH want your marriage to succeed though. If that's the case then you can move past it and you can even build a stronger bond. But if he's trying to lay the blame on you even a little it won't work. HE cheated. I don't care if you never had sex with him, never cooked or cleaned or took care of the kids. Those are reasons to separate/divorce - not reasons to go have sex with someone else while staying married.

Yes you can survive!!! It took such hard work and humble hearts for both of us. Although he did something horrible we both had to accept blame for certain situations. The ONLY reason our marriage was fixed was that we went to counseling at our church where after our wednesday service and rather than the average counseling session.. we would think of a problem that we had in our marriage and spent time looking in the bible and finding out how we should have handled the situation.

I can't express to you how painful that betrayal was. There are no words for it and it hurts so much.

I will tell you that fixing it won't work unless you both are willing to fix it together.

I will also tell you that your faith and trust will eventually be restored. We separated for 3 months before we decided to go to counseling to fix things. Until then I had fully planned on divorcing him. When we planned to fixed things I even waiting for a while after going to be sure I still wanted to be with him. I was so so so hurt. After I called off the divorce we lived apart for an additional 6 months while going to church together, going to counseling together, and having one or two dates a week. We had to completely restart in order to understand each other again.

I'm sorry this happened to you, but this affair is a result of worldly thinking. That if your heart isn't "in it" or you don't "feel in love" anymore, that you should find someone new or pursue something more exciting. Once your thinking begins to change, then things begin to look differently. Jeremiah 17:9- The heart is deceitful above all things.

Fixing it takes a considerable amount of time and effort. Much of our time was spent crying and yelling until we were tired of both. I remember the day that we had gone out together, took turns saying what we each did wrong and what we should have done or admit we understood how we hurt each other, then promised that from that day forward we were done with it and would try to no longer bring it up.

If you fix this, many of your friends and family wont understand. Many of ours didn't and we lost a few over it. But that is only one way to learn who your true friends are. The ones who will remain by your side even if they don't understand your decisions.

Add me as a friend if you ever want to vent, or talk, or ask me anything. Fixing our marriage was the greatest thing we had ever done outside of our children. Since the "bad year" (that's what we call that year) we have had 2 anniversaries, one baby, and we are working on another.

The key is repentance. The person having the affair needs to admit it, regret it and commit to it never happening again. S/he needs to be accountable for their whereabouts at all times and accept that it'll take time to rebuild trust.

This is exactly it.

If the person that had the affair is not willing to give up certain freedoms (access to phone, texts, email, accountability of their whereabouts at all times, etc) trust will never be rebuilt and the relationship is doomed. If giving up those freedoms is not an option the person that had the affair is already checked out.

Depends on the person. Me? Never. My husband ever cheated we would be done. No if's and's or but's. I am the least forgiving person though