Please tell me my mom is wrong!
Replies
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just wanted to say that my mom started out like that too, until i got into a size 10 (um i was 10 last time that read on a label!) that's when she started to realize that HER mom had been wrong! she is now down almost 100 lbs and using me as her motivation! sometimes i think the 'weird/hurtful/stupid' things our moms say is more tradition and their own self image issues than any actual truth or meaningful hurt. show her that she's right in one way, get into an 8 then smile and say 'yep you were right, our bodies do change!' and just keep up the great work!!0
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I do believe that your mum is wrong BUT I don't believe she was being unkind, maybe she said it to actually make you feel better and more positive, so that you could just get on and enjoy life and not get obsessed about losing weight......just a thought xxx0
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She's probably wrong...but might be a little right. I'm actually smaller now than I was in college but had I not been overweight in high school/college, I probably would not be able to be smaller than that. My hips are definitely wider than they were in college so no matter how thin I get, I'll be limited by my hips.
Not that this is a scientific and reputable source, but this is what I'm talking about: http://www.myhealthnewsdaily.com/1333-hip-bones-widen-with-age.html
But for your purposes, I think her remark was pretty rude and discouraging. I hope you have plenty of supportive people in your life to make up for such comments!0 -
Your mom is wrong. My mom told me at the start "whatever you do, DO NOT LIFT WEIGHTS! It only makes you bigger than you already are." That went in one ear and out the other, of course I lift, and lift heavy. She recently said to me "I can't beleive you accomplished this (my weight loss and better shape) by EXERCISE or lifting weights..." As if I was lying about what I do...
Just SHOW your mom with your results, that it IS POSSIBLE.0 -
She's very WRONG!
I'm actually smaller than I was in high school/college and in much better shape.
I found some college jeans cleaning this weekend and they fit me great and they were skin-tight back then.
Don't let her discourage you. This whole thing takes time but it's so worth it. I feel better now than when I played college softball nearly 10 years ago. I have large frame so I am kinda limited on dropping too many more sizes but I'm fine with that.
Just remember getting healthy it what it's all about.
You got this!! One day at a time. :happy:0 -
thats bull****..I'm four sizes smaller than I was in college, and a good 2 sizes smaller than I have ever been. You can do whatever you set your mind to doing.0
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Your mother is clearly wrong--yes, your body does change in your teens (and sometimes early 20s), but it's not going to magically morph so that what was once a reasonable, healthy weight, is suddenly an unhealthy weight (holding height constant). If 165 (or 190) was in your healthy weight range in college, it is more than likely still in your health weight range, and therefore not a completely unrealistic goal.
As for mothers, I find it is best just to tune mine out. I'm roughly 155 right now. When I was 155 five years ago my mother told me that I was too thin (I had been obese my whole adult life, this was the first time she had seen me at a somewhat normal weight). Five years later I am much more physically fit, and my mother has told me that I need to lose weight. I don't know what her issue is, or your mother's issue is, but clearly, they're not reflecting reality.0 -
Just hang onto those pants and prove her wrong.
Also worth mentioning she is WRONG WRONG WRONG. I'm smaller now than when I was in college AND high school. And the most I ever weighed in those eight years was 140-145 lbs and I'm 5'4". Sitting easily at 130lbs right now, but I wear smaller sizes thanks to weight lifting and lean muscle. Before I started adding muscle I even got down to 124lbs (which I hadn't weighed since probably around the third grade!)0 -
she's wrong. i'm wearing one of my smallest pants from high school right now. I gained about 50 lbs between high school and about a year ago (gained, lost, gained more, lost more, gained even more. now losing it for good). I'm back down to what i weighed in high school.
You CAN do it!0 -
your mom is definitely wrong. im 27 now and only about 20 lbs heavier than i was in high school. and i still wear the same size clothes, in fact i probably had the shirt im wearing now when i was a junior0
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Of course your mother is wrong... I'm guessing as a medical student you know that though. There are a lot of people here who are getting more fit than they've ever been - not just whatever they weighed in college or high school.
Yes your body changes as you age as newcs pointed out, but that's always happened. No matter how much you lose, you'll never have the exact same body as you had when you were 18, but that doesn't mean your fitness level and your health won't be better than it was back then.
Keep your chin up and don't let ignorance get you down.0 -
She is wrong...I was a size 14 in HS and I am healthier now at 30 than I was then. I am a size 8/10 now. Strength training has been a life changing experience for me.0
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Honestly I dont think it is a Mom thing I think our society as a whole has gotten used to as you get older you gain weight and thats they way it is or you get married you gain or you have kids you gain and there is nothing you can do about it. This used to be my thinking to justify my poor diet and physical shape (nice way of calling myself fat and lazy). Now I am at my weight and fitness level, (probably better becouse I eat way better foods and no longer smoke or drink) than I was at when I was 20 and in the Military. So yes you can be the same size and you can even be better than at least that is what I am striving for and I believe I am allready there.
Good luck0 -
I am smaller than I was in college and high school. So...she is definitely wrong!!!! YOU CAN DO IT0
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I guess your mom just wanted to comfort you this way... she doesnt want you to feel bad about extra weight so she came up with this "reason".0
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I'm 55 years old. This is the smallest and most toned I've ever been in my life. Your mom is playing HER script for you. My mother used to say the same evil thing. If you want it to change, decide what to do and do it.0
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Yesterday my mom called to ask me what size I wear because she was shopping for Christmas. I said "a 12 or 14 but i plan on being a 12 by Christmas." Her response..."Well i'm an 8 just in case you're wondering" This coming from a woman who was over weight her entire adult life until she got gastric bypass surgery. It really annoyed me when she said that, but i just shrug it off. Luckily for me, I live about 1500 miles away from my mom, so I can just hang up the phone and forget about it.
I'm sorry other people have to deal with it too.0 -
She's so wrong.
I had a personal trainer tell me trying to be the same size as I was in high school was a pretty unrealistic goal. (I saw no results with her after a whole summer.) I'm a bit lighter and a size smaller now than I was in high school.
You've seen all the success stories on here from every weight and age - there is no reason why you can't get where you want to be.0 -
When I first started, I would bring up an old picture I tell my friends that I wanted to weigh what I did in that pic, which is when I was 17. Some said, "You're never gonna look like that again." Now I'm 25 and I weigh the same as I did in that picture. It can be done.0
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Yeah my mom is thin so I've heard everything from "someday maybe you'll look as good as me" or "you don't look as good as me"
Ugh!0 -
They say that about people that have had kids... Well I was always a 10, MAYBE a 8 in Highschool/College.
I had my daughter in 2008, gained some weight but in 2010-2011 I got down to a solid 6 some 4's and 2s.
I gained back bc of medications I'm on... but I plan on being that way once again...
So don't give up!0 -
I'm 27 and I'm back to my college weight, so yes, your mother was wrong.0
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when i was 19 in college i was 180 lbs and ripped....then at 25 and many years removed i was an appauling 265 lbs.......now i weigh 185 and am in better shape and more defined then i was ever before in life0
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You can be that weight or less at any age - it depends how hard you work and want it.0
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Just because she is your mom, she isn't always right!!! This case she is not.
You can be anything or any size you aspire to be0 -
So, I am 24 years old. When I started college at age 18, I weighed a healthy 165 lbs (I'm 5'10"). I should also add that during high school, I lost about 50 pounds to get down to that 165. Now, as a medical student, I've gotten up to 230 lbs due to inactivity and excessive eating. To make a long story short, I offered a pair of my smaller jeans to my younger sister (these jeans fit me when I was about 190 lbs) and they didn't fit her, so my mom suggested she give them to a friend. I said, "Oh, don't do that... I'm planning to be able to fit back into those soon." She replied, "Honey, we can't all be the same size as we were in college. Your body has changed." Basically, her theory is that women shouldn't aspire to be the size they were in college (for me, that was a size 10/12... nothing crazy) because as they age, their bodies somehow magically morph into something unrecognizable. I mean... I don't see any truth in her logic, but it still is really discouraging to hear.
I know that a lot of members have commented about hurtful things their moms have said to them regarding weight (either loss or gain). Is it just a mom thing? Has anyone figured out how to filter and disregard this sort of jealous, discouraging mom talk? It really gets to me.
My mom is always right, well, most of the time. Just like yours. In this case, she's wrong.
With hard work and dedication, you work your *kitten* off and you will be there in no time!0 -
Oh yeah, Mum-isms is right. My mum used to take great delight in pulling out all the clothes she was wearing at the approximate age I was at the time, and getting me to "try them on". If I didn't go along I was a spoil-sport and stuck up, and when I did go along with it they would all laugh at me because I was too fat to fit them. Truth be told, my mother was built like a beanpole in HS, and I had larger hips and thighs and a small waist.
It hurt at the time, but then I realised that while this was going on, my mother weighed over 400lbs in her early 30s, so while she was making fun of me for being larger than her in highschool, she was only doing it to make herself feel better.
Through years of depression and eating my emotions and two bed-rest pregnancies, I gained weight, and now weigh about 300lbs (which is why I'm here!) and she takes great delight in telling me that she wasn't this big at that age, though I know she was, and that I can't lose the weight "It's in the genetics, all the women in our family are fat, You just need to learn to live with it"
Every time she says it I assure her that half my genetics didn't come from her, and the women in that family are trim and fit, which is how I plan to be, hopefully by the end of next year.0 -
Shes wrong. If u had babies your hips might be wider but we're talking about just a couple inches, I lost 2 inches from my hips in november alone. Body changes from age can include skin elasticity, bone density, even metabolism. But there is no law of nature that says you can't be slender as you age. And in your twenties none of those factors should be much of an issue yet. Go get it girl! Lose that weight while you're young.
Sometimes our moms mean well and say the WRONG thing! My mom is a huge support 90% of the time. Unfortunately even adult kids look for unconditional emotional support and it takes 100 positive reinforcements to make up for 1 negative.
For example, Friday night I was getting ready to run my 1st 5k Sat morning. Mom tells me I'm not a "real runner." Last thing I needed to hear! At the worst time! What she meant was I am not a marathon runner, planned on taking walking beaks when needed, and I'm slow. Not running any 4 min miles anytime soon!
Well I didn't let it stop me. Put on my running shoes and did my best. And finished strong! Sometimes you have to brush off those comments from mom. Most of the time they mean well.0 -
Your Mom is both right and wrong, she loves you, means well in saying you wont get back to a highschool or college size, not because she doesnt believe you have the ability to do whatever you put your mind to, of course your mom supports you and wants you to be happy and healthy, she is after all your mom, all moms want that for their babies, even their grown up ones.
I think what she means is simply, that its OKAY if you dont ever get back to that size you have in your mind for yourself, your perfect and just as good in every way at any age, any size, just the way you are and to be healthy but dont fall victim to obsessing
over a size that doesnt really matter nor does it define who you are, since she is already knows that you are an
incredible, beautiful, strong, courageous, smart, amazing young woman, who she is I am sure extremely proud of and loves with all her heart.
As for getting to a size 10/12, it is a healthy goal and I think you can do it.
As for those old jeans, not sure by the time you reach your goal, you might simply want to reward yourself with a new pair of jeans, or maybe the ones you love and are lending to your sister, they might be completely out of style by next season.Or
just too worn to bothered holding onto them any longer, maybe letting go could be good over all, then you have a reason to go shopping with mom, and let her see the smile on your face as you find a new size 10/12 and silently say in your head, I told ya so lol.
Good Luck but take it easy on good ole' Mom okay.0 -
My mom said a similar thing. I was complaining about trying to find time to work out when trying to work more than full-time, be a mom/wife/friend/daughter, and take care of a home. My mom said, "of course, you are going to be fat -- you are a working mom. It is something that you have to accept." This is coming from a woman who gained an enormous amount of weight as soon as she went back to work and dropped 50+ # in just a handful of months upon her retirement (and she has kept it off for years). I think that she was sorta right -- I need to go easy on myself and not expect to be perfect, I can also look for ways to integrate movement into my day and eat less (I am down 10# now). Will I have time to be ripped and a size 4 again? Maybe not until my kids are both older but at least I will not have as far to go to get healthy when I do have more time to workout.0
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