I don't want to see you anymore...
AwesomeMoJo
Posts: 1,145 Member
in Chit-Chat
How do you tell someone that you have been seeing that you don't want to see them anymore? I have gone out a few times with a new guy.
I LOVE to go out with my friends and/or my sister to go eat, go dancing, bowling movies or whatever...2x a week or so...he barely wants to go out and do ANYTHING. It was like pulling teeth getting him to plan a date for us. I planned the first 3....
Claririfcation: We have been on more than 3 dates..but I planned the first 3....
He is a little bit of a pushover....okay a BIG pushover. I do not want a guy that I can walk all over. I need someone who will push back a little, let me know what he wants, and we make a compromise.
He is sweet, overall, has a good heart, but it won't work with us as a couple.....
I hate that no matter what I say, it will hurt him..but is there any way to help ease the pain a little...?? I know he likes and cares for me a lot...he has told me so.
I LOVE to go out with my friends and/or my sister to go eat, go dancing, bowling movies or whatever...2x a week or so...he barely wants to go out and do ANYTHING. It was like pulling teeth getting him to plan a date for us. I planned the first 3....
Claririfcation: We have been on more than 3 dates..but I planned the first 3....
He is a little bit of a pushover....okay a BIG pushover. I do not want a guy that I can walk all over. I need someone who will push back a little, let me know what he wants, and we make a compromise.
He is sweet, overall, has a good heart, but it won't work with us as a couple.....
I hate that no matter what I say, it will hurt him..but is there any way to help ease the pain a little...?? I know he likes and cares for me a lot...he has told me so.
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Replies
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I didnt always say anything. I just never answered the phone and waited for them to stop calling.
Yea I know its not right, but I just didnt wanna bother having "the talk"0 -
I didnt always say anything. I just never answered the phone and waited for them to stop calling.
Yea I know its not right, but I just didnt wanna bother having "the talk"
if its only been a few dates, then this.... let him get the hint. It's not cool, but neither is seeing a grown man cry.0 -
I didnt always say anything. I just never answered the phone and waited for them to stop calling.
Yea I know its not right, but I just didnt wanna bother having "the talk"
Been there!
I know it sucks but nothing you say will ease it any for him. Just try to be brief and as honest as possible. Nothing wrong with saying you aren't compatible. :flowerforyou:0 -
If you stop planning dates, that should end that.0
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How do you tell someone that you have been seeing that you don't want to see them anymore? I have gone out a few times with a new guy.
I LOVE to go out with my friends and/or my sister to go eat, go dancing, bowling movies or whatever...2x a week or so...he barely wants to go out and do ANYTHING. It was like pulling teeth getting him to plan a date for us. I planned the first 3....
He is a little bit of a pushover....okay a BIG pushover. I do not want a guy that I can walk all over. I need someone who will push back a little, let me know what he wants, and we make a compromise.
He is sweet, overall, has a good heart, but it won't work with us as a couple.....
I hate that no matter what I say, it will hurt him..but is there any way to help ease the pain a little...?? I know he likes and cares for me a lot...he has told me so.
I've been here, many times. I simply say "You're a nice guy, but you're not for me." that's it that's all. simple and to the point. If he asks why, just say "You're not for me."
KISS - Keep it simple stupid.
Also, if a man can't plan at least the first 3 dates MINIMUM, he's def not worth seeing!0 -
Agreed. No reason to make it a big drama fest. Just stop answering. He will catch on.0
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I didnt always say anything. I just never answered the phone and waited for them to stop calling.
Yea I know its not right, but I just didnt wanna bother having "the talk"
if its only been a few dates, then this.... let him get the hint. It's not cool, but neither is seeing a grown man cry.
The problem is (and I hate to say it) but I tried this already for the last 3 days...it just casues him to call and text me more and more...it has to stop.0 -
Yup, brief and honest. You've gone on three dates. He deserves a little more than a brush off and it would hurt less in the long run if you'd give him closure.
"I've enjoyed getting to know you, but I just don't see a future with us."
Done and done.
And don't respond to anything he sends. If you must respond, respond with the same sentence. "I've enjoyed getting to know you, but I just don't see a future with you." He'll get the hint.0 -
I practiced the "art of unavailability." When they'd call, I'd let it go to voicemail. When they texted, I would delay answering them for a few hours. I was "busy". They start to get the picture. If he asks what's up, you could always just say that you're feeling more of a friend vibe with him, and that you have enjoyed his company but don't see yourselves as compatible as a couple.
Yes, it may hurt him...but it's better than stringing him along!
I'm with you, though. I can't date a pushover. It drives me nuts.0 -
Just tell him you don't see the relationship going anywhere and you don't want to waste his or your time...
You want to focus on your career...
Bad timing...
Etc...0 -
The ONLY problem with not calling him is that now you're playing "hard to get" and the "chase" is on... guys love that.
You have to tell him.0 -
Just break up0
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How do you tell someone that you have been seeing that you don't want to see them anymore? I have gone out a few times with a new guy.
I LOVE to go out with my friends and/or my sister to go eat, go dancing, bowling movies or whatever...2x a week or so...he barely wants to go out and do ANYTHING. It was like pulling teeth getting him to plan a date for us. I planned the first 3....
He is a little bit of a pushover....okay a BIG pushover. I do not want a guy that I can walk all over. I need someone who will push back a little, let me know what he wants, and we make a compromise.
He is sweet, overall, has a good heart, but it won't work with us as a couple.....
I hate that no matter what I say, it will hurt him..but is there any way to help ease the pain a little...?? I know he likes and cares for me a lot...he has told me so.
when you figure this out....let me know...
i have a hanger on that didn't understand my "I'm not interested in seeing you anymore" speech.0 -
Edited to change my position after I reread the OP.
Yeah, you're not BF/GF so, you don't really owe him anything. Just stop communicating. If he one day asks what's up, just say youre not happy with the situation and are moving on.0 -
OMG! You don't want me anymore :sad: :sad: :sad:0
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^thisIf you stop planning dates, that should end that.0 -
Yup, brief and honest. You've gone on three dates. He deserves a little more than a brush off and it would hurt less in the long run if you'd give him closure.
"I've enjoyed getting to know you, but I just don't see a future with us."
Done and done.
And don't respond to anything he sends. If you must respond, respond with the same sentence. "I've enjoyed getting to know you, but I just don't see a future with you." He'll get the hint.
This.0 -
It's not me, it's you.0
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As you've tried the suggestions and he keeps texting/calling, then I think you have "ended" it, but he won't let go. Now, you'll have to be a bit more assertive and tell him, "please do not contact me any longer".0
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How do you tell someone that you have been seeing that you don't want to see them anymore? I have gone out a few times with a new guy.
I LOVE to go out with my friends and/or my sister to go eat, go dancing, bowling movies or whatever...2x a week or so...he barely wants to go out and do ANYTHING. It was like pulling teeth getting him to plan a date for us. I planned the first 3....
He is a little bit of a pushover....okay a BIG pushover. I do not want a guy that I can walk all over. I need someone who will push back a little, let me know what he wants, and we make a compromise.
He is sweet, overall, has a good heart, but it won't work with us as a couple.....
I hate that no matter what I say, it will hurt him..but is there any way to help ease the pain a little...?? I know he likes and cares for me a lot...he has told me so.
when you figure this out....let me know...
i have a hanger on that didn't understand my "I'm not interested in seeing you anymore" speech.
Once you have the talk, then do the thing the ladies say, just don't pick up the phone.0 -
Wow. You ladies suck.
No. Do not take the pu**y way out. Sit down and tell him that you're not happy. It will suck. But, it's better than leaving someone confused. What happens if you run into him someday? It's weird, right. At least if you tell him, down the road, he'll probably forgive, and you can still be friends or whatever.
It's hard, but it's always best to say something.
I do want to say something....though I am not sure how to say it so that it will soften the blow a little.0 -
Forward his phone to me, I'll dump him for you.
Or this:Yup, brief and honest. You've gone on three dates. He deserves a little more than a brush off and it would hurt less in the long run if you'd give him closure.
"I've enjoyed getting to know you, but I just don't see a future with us."
Done and done.
And don't respond to anything he sends. If you must respond, respond with the same sentence. "I've enjoyed getting to know you, but I just don't see a future with you." He'll get the hint.
This is actually the kindest thing you can do. Clear, simple, done.0 -
Tell him the truth so maybe he can grow some balls and learn what a woman wants before his next victim....I mean date.0
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Just be honest.0
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I didnt always say anything. I just never answered the phone and waited for them to stop calling.
Yea I know its not right, but I just didnt wanna bother having "the talk"
if its only been a few dates, then this.... let him get the hint. It's not cool, but neither is seeing a grown man cry.
The problem is (and I hate to say it) but I tried this already for the last 3 days...it just casues him to call and text me more and more...it has to stop.
you'll have to have the talk. or you could just text
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Wow. You ladies suck.
No. Do not take the pu**y way out. Sit down and tell him that you're not happy. It will suck. But, it's better than leaving someone confused. What happens if you run into him someday? It's weird, right. At least if you tell him, down the road, he'll probably forgive, and you can still be friends or whatever.
It's hard, but it's always best to say something.
I do want to say something....though I am not sure how to say it so that it will soften the blow a little.
I would just be up front and tell him that it's not working. You've got to say something in my opinion, or it's not going to end. Just be civil/polite about it and he will get over it.
also how YOU doin? :flowerforyou:0 -
Just break up
**claps**0 -
I didnt always say anything. I just never answered the phone and waited for them to stop calling.
Yea I know its not right, but I just didnt wanna bother having "the talk"
I do this too.....LOL0 -
ask him for babies0
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]I would just be up front and tell him that it's not working. You've got to say something in my opinion, or it's not going to end. Just be civil/polite about it and he will get over it.
also how YOU doin? :flowerforyou:
Hey baby..I am doin' good. How YOU doin'?
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