I don't want to see you anymore...

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AwesomeMoJo
AwesomeMoJo Posts: 1,145 Member
in Chit-Chat
How do you tell someone that you have been seeing that you don't want to see them anymore? I have gone out a few times with a new guy.

I LOVE to go out with my friends and/or my sister to go eat, go dancing, bowling movies or whatever...2x a week or so...he barely wants to go out and do ANYTHING. It was like pulling teeth getting him to plan a date for us. I planned the first 3....

Claririfcation: We have been on more than 3 dates..but I planned the first 3....

He is a little bit of a pushover....okay a BIG pushover. I do not want a guy that I can walk all over. I need someone who will push back a little, let me know what he wants, and we make a compromise.

He is sweet, overall, has a good heart, but it won't work with us as a couple.....

I hate that no matter what I say, it will hurt him..but is there any way to help ease the pain a little...?? I know he likes and cares for me a lot...he has told me so.
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Replies

  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    I didnt always say anything. I just never answered the phone and waited for them to stop calling.

    Yea I know its not right, but I just didnt wanna bother having "the talk"
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    I didnt always say anything. I just never answered the phone and waited for them to stop calling.

    Yea I know its not right, but I just didnt wanna bother having "the talk"

    if its only been a few dates, then this.... let him get the hint. It's not cool, but neither is seeing a grown man cry.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    I didnt always say anything. I just never answered the phone and waited for them to stop calling.

    Yea I know its not right, but I just didnt wanna bother having "the talk"

    Been there! :embarassed:


    I know it sucks but nothing you say will ease it any for him. Just try to be brief and as honest as possible. Nothing wrong with saying you aren't compatible. :flowerforyou:
  • LeenaRuns
    LeenaRuns Posts: 1,309 Member
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    If you stop planning dates, that should end that.
  • footiechick82
    footiechick82 Posts: 1,203 Member
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    How do you tell someone that you have been seeing that you don't want to see them anymore? I have gone out a few times with a new guy.

    I LOVE to go out with my friends and/or my sister to go eat, go dancing, bowling movies or whatever...2x a week or so...he barely wants to go out and do ANYTHING. It was like pulling teeth getting him to plan a date for us. I planned the first 3....

    He is a little bit of a pushover....okay a BIG pushover. I do not want a guy that I can walk all over. I need someone who will push back a little, let me know what he wants, and we make a compromise.

    He is sweet, overall, has a good heart, but it won't work with us as a couple.....

    I hate that no matter what I say, it will hurt him..but is there any way to help ease the pain a little...?? I know he likes and cares for me a lot...he has told me so.

    I've been here, many times. I simply say "You're a nice guy, but you're not for me." that's it that's all. simple and to the point. If he asks why, just say "You're not for me."

    KISS - Keep it simple stupid.

    Also, if a man can't plan at least the first 3 dates MINIMUM, he's def not worth seeing!
  • Luvs_Pink
    Luvs_Pink Posts: 24
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    Agreed. No reason to make it a big drama fest. Just stop answering. He will catch on.
  • AwesomeMoJo
    AwesomeMoJo Posts: 1,145 Member
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    I didnt always say anything. I just never answered the phone and waited for them to stop calling.

    Yea I know its not right, but I just didnt wanna bother having "the talk"

    if its only been a few dates, then this.... let him get the hint. It's not cool, but neither is seeing a grown man cry.

    The problem is (and I hate to say it) but I tried this already for the last 3 days...it just casues him to call and text me more and more...it has to stop.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    Yup, brief and honest. You've gone on three dates. He deserves a little more than a brush off and it would hurt less in the long run if you'd give him closure.

    "I've enjoyed getting to know you, but I just don't see a future with us."

    Done and done.

    And don't respond to anything he sends. If you must respond, respond with the same sentence. "I've enjoyed getting to know you, but I just don't see a future with you." He'll get the hint.
  • MandaJean83
    MandaJean83 Posts: 677 Member
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    I practiced the "art of unavailability." When they'd call, I'd let it go to voicemail. When they texted, I would delay answering them for a few hours. I was "busy". They start to get the picture. If he asks what's up, you could always just say that you're feeling more of a friend vibe with him, and that you have enjoyed his company but don't see yourselves as compatible as a couple.

    Yes, it may hurt him...but it's better than stringing him along!

    I'm with you, though. I can't date a pushover. It drives me nuts.
  • wildcatnyc
    wildcatnyc Posts: 2,410 Member
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    Just tell him you don't see the relationship going anywhere and you don't want to waste his or your time...

    You want to focus on your career...

    Bad timing...

    Etc...
  • footiechick82
    footiechick82 Posts: 1,203 Member
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    The ONLY problem with not calling him is that now you're playing "hard to get" and the "chase" is on... guys love that.

    You have to tell him.
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
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    Just break up
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    How do you tell someone that you have been seeing that you don't want to see them anymore? I have gone out a few times with a new guy.

    I LOVE to go out with my friends and/or my sister to go eat, go dancing, bowling movies or whatever...2x a week or so...he barely wants to go out and do ANYTHING. It was like pulling teeth getting him to plan a date for us. I planned the first 3....

    He is a little bit of a pushover....okay a BIG pushover. I do not want a guy that I can walk all over. I need someone who will push back a little, let me know what he wants, and we make a compromise.

    He is sweet, overall, has a good heart, but it won't work with us as a couple.....

    I hate that no matter what I say, it will hurt him..but is there any way to help ease the pain a little...?? I know he likes and cares for me a lot...he has told me so.

    when you figure this out....let me know...

    i have a hanger on that didn't understand my "I'm not interested in seeing you anymore" speech.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    Edited to change my position after I reread the OP.

    Yeah, you're not BF/GF so, you don't really owe him anything. Just stop communicating. If he one day asks what's up, just say youre not happy with the situation and are moving on.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    OMG! You don't want me anymore :sad: :sad: :sad:
  • skinnynerd
    skinnynerd Posts: 110
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    If you stop planning dates, that should end that.
    ^this
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
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    Yup, brief and honest. You've gone on three dates. He deserves a little more than a brush off and it would hurt less in the long run if you'd give him closure.

    "I've enjoyed getting to know you, but I just don't see a future with us."

    Done and done.

    And don't respond to anything he sends. If you must respond, respond with the same sentence. "I've enjoyed getting to know you, but I just don't see a future with you." He'll get the hint.

    This.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    It's not me, it's you.
  • ceannesjourney
    ceannesjourney Posts: 250
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    As you've tried the suggestions and he keeps texting/calling, then I think you have "ended" it, but he won't let go. Now, you'll have to be a bit more assertive and tell him, "please do not contact me any longer".
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    How do you tell someone that you have been seeing that you don't want to see them anymore? I have gone out a few times with a new guy.

    I LOVE to go out with my friends and/or my sister to go eat, go dancing, bowling movies or whatever...2x a week or so...he barely wants to go out and do ANYTHING. It was like pulling teeth getting him to plan a date for us. I planned the first 3....

    He is a little bit of a pushover....okay a BIG pushover. I do not want a guy that I can walk all over. I need someone who will push back a little, let me know what he wants, and we make a compromise.

    He is sweet, overall, has a good heart, but it won't work with us as a couple.....

    I hate that no matter what I say, it will hurt him..but is there any way to help ease the pain a little...?? I know he likes and cares for me a lot...he has told me so.

    when you figure this out....let me know...

    i have a hanger on that didn't understand my "I'm not interested in seeing you anymore" speech.

    Once you have the talk, then do the thing the ladies say, just don't pick up the phone.

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