Do you feel like the weight will cure your "ugliness" ?

I don't think I'm ugly per se, however I find it hard to think I look good. It's not just about looks for me though. I'm generally not satisfied with myself. Seems like everything I do and am everyone else in my family can do better.

The highlight was when my uncle called me ugly to my face. He told me that if he wasn't my uncle and saw me on the street, he wouldn't look twice and that I was unnatural since I don't wear make up.

This is heartbreaking. Your value isn't measured by what you can accomplish, do, how you look, etc. Your value and beauty is about who you are as a person. Cherish yourself, even when others don't. And definitely don't look to anyone like your Uncle for your worth. You are so much more than that.

It better!

I keep hoping that losing weight will make me feel better about myself, but it doesn't. All I see is an ugly, podgy girl. I hate it!!!

I too get attention..from guys I never would have ever attracted before, I don't know what they see in me and I still think I'm ugly. x x

It''s such a horrible feeling!!!! x x x

Same here. What is the matter with us all?

I don't have any self hatred. I do not view myself as ugly. I did not even when I was obese at 335 lbs. I never at any point looked in a mirror and decided I hated what i saw. And I do not believe that anyone who can look in a mirror and legitimately use the word "hate" to describe what they see is in a position to be able to tackle weight loss and fitness in a healthy way.

losing weight wont cure ugliness. Know what will cure ugliness? Taking the time along the way, while you are losing weight, to build up your self-love, confidence, esteem, discipline, will power, determination, sense of self and personal pride. Spend the time proving to yourself that you are capable of beautiful powerful things.

Eventually it will start to change your inside to match your outside.

Or you could just bank on the scale fixing all your problems by showing you some magic number. Yeah you weigh the number you want, but you ignored all the mental things you were supposed to be handling and you didnt get stronger so now youre this droopy weak thing that weighs a perfect 110 pounds....

personally I prefer becoming more awesome everyday on my own terms.

So true. I was lucky enough to know from the beginning that more than I needed to go to the gym to fix myself of ugliness, I needed to work on stopping the negative self talk. You can't try to fix the inside by changing the outside. You can weigh that perfect *whatever* weight, but if you're still calling yourself fat and ugly at every turn then you're never going to feel good.

Those corny things like complimenting yourself, writing yourself kind notes, thinking of two things nice for everyone one thing negative that you say about yourself -- they actually work. But changing the way you talk to yourself takes just as much effort as going to the gym or dieting -- and most of the time it takes even more.

I think we all feel that way sometimes. Some days I feel like I am one hot sexy mama and some days not so much. What worked for me to get my self esteem a little higher was that every time some one gives me a compliment I say Thank You. At first I never believed them but because I said Thank you so many times my brain is starting to catch on.

Start small pick something you love about yourself and each month of two add on that.
You can do it.
You are very attractive and you should let know one tell you different including yourself.

Sometimes I think you have to fake it til you make it as far as confidence goes. Start saying positive things to yourself in the mirror today like the fact that you have beautiful eyes or a pretty smile and go from there. I used to have the when I weigh this much I will finally be happy and pretty attitude, but it doesn't work out so well, because your happiness is conditional on weight loss. You can always find that one body part that you are unhappy with and end up focusing in that even when you lose the weight you want. You just have to own your look and start acting confident and proud. I swear it takes time but it really does work. Age may have something to do with it as well. When I was in my 20s I always felt insecure. Now that I am in my early 30s I am starting to love and appreciate me. I still have days where I feel like everything in my closet looks horrible on me, but most days, I feel like I look good and my husband reinforces that I look great everyday. A good man can do a lot for your self-esteem too, but mostly, it's about flipping your attitude. You get one body and one life and there is no sense in spending it unhappy. Make the changes to get healthy and fit, but love you starting now.

I definitely feel that once I get to my goal weight, my self-esteem issues will disappear. I already like my face. I have pretty blue eyes, pale skin, and black hair. I really do like the way my face looks, so once my body gets up to par, I don't see why I would still feel ugly.

I guess I'm different. I made a pact with myself to love myself and what I look like the whole way. I've never understood why guys were physically attracted to me. My personality rocks, though. I think the whole journey is easier if you love yourself at every stage. You start throwing around "hate" and I think it harms the process. Sure, I see my belly and my thighs and think, "C'mon you guys, get it together." But I truly believe loving my body has made this whole thing so much easier.

I just feel so insecure and unattractive all the time and I used to say "Okay, when the weight comes off I'll be prettier." But those two times I lost 20 pounds? I still felt.. Ugly. Do you feel the same? Maybe I'm just insecure all the way around.

I feel much more attractive and confident when I am smaller.

I still have the same insecurities about "me" but when I am not so fat I at least have to confidence to go out and socialise which I don't/won't do again until I am a lot lot lighter!!

when you've carried a lot of weight for a while it takes time for your brain to catch up with the image. I've lost well over a hundred pounds and I honestly feel beautiful, still chunky but so very beautiful and I love the way my body has shrunk. I understand that I have to love ME first-flaws and all-and I think that is what attracts all the attention I get. It has increased a hundred fold within the last 3 months...just keep loving on yourself and the image in the mirror. It takes time...

when you've carried a lot of weight for a while it takes time for your brain to catch up with the image. I've lost well over a hundred pounds and I honestly feel beautiful, still chunky but so very beautiful and I love the way my body has shrunk. I understand that I have to love ME first-flaws and all-and I think that is what attracts all the attention I get. It has increased a hundred fold within the last 3 months...just keep loving on yourself and the image in the mirror. It takes time...

This. YES!

Honestly, I think a lot more of us deal with this than would like to admit. My sister and I call it "fat girl syndrome." Mind you, I'm not trying to say anyone here is fat. She and I both spent a good bit of time overweight. She lost around 80 pounds before a kidney transplant 2 years ago. She liked the way she looked, unless she looked at her stomach. The excess skin made her almost as upset as she was when she couldn't find something comfortable and flattering when she was larger. Even after she lost all her weight, she still saw that big girl staring back at her in the mirror.

I've yo-yo'd for a while, and I'm down 50 pounds from my worst. My boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful, that he loves the way the weight loss accentuates certain things. But I still look as myself as a chubby girl. Oh sure, I can tell in my face and in my body that I've shed some unwanted pounds, but I look in a mirror and can only see the flaws, not the progress.

For me, I KNOW it comes from a low self esteem-regardless of what my weight is. On my mirror at home, I have the verse "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" so I can remember that God made me and He loves me just like I am. It helps-but it doesn't cure the way I look at myself. It's something I have to work through, pray about, and work internally to change.

You are so beautiful, and I wish you the best. Hopefully we will all work past this and see ourselves as the same awesome people everyone else does!