Those of you who have or have had a B**chy teenage girl

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fullofhope76
fullofhope76 Posts: 92
in Chit-Chat
Does it ever get better? Mine is going to be 17 on Dec. 21st. I can't talk to her about anything without feeling like I have to walk on eggshells. She screamed at me last night on the phone and when I talked to her this morning about it and really expected an apology she just kept up the b**ch act and acted like she was better than that. This is the type of relationship that if it wasn't my daughter, I would be walking away from it.
So I want to know, does it get better? Will she wake up one day and realize that she should be nicer to me? I feel like crying right now. She is my only child. My Mom and I have a great relationship and one day I want to have that with her, but right now I just want to have time away from her. I feel bad for even writing that.
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  • fullofhope76
    fullofhope76 Posts: 92
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    Bump...please anyone....
  • themeaningofthemorning
    themeaningofthemorning Posts: 320 Member
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    She's a teenager. She'll get over it.

    The most important thing is not to crowd her, but also not to let her be the master of all she surveys. Sometimes you've got to be "mean mom" and kind of stop with the fluffy parenting and put on your hard hat. She needs to be reminded that she lives in your house and would not survive without your support.

    When I went through my rude phase, my parents completely shut down their "fluffy" sides. Every time I was a b*tch, they'd remind me that I could move out and try to get along without them. That went a long way to bring me back to earth and restore some humility.
  • XxXWhitneyShereeXxX
    XxXWhitneyShereeXxX Posts: 160 Member
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    I don't have a teenage daughter, but I was one and I was EVIL. I lied to my parents about everything I snuck out, I stole their cars, I skipped school, and I was a total ***** to everyone and my mom most of all. After high school was over and I had my first son (I was 19) I realized how important my mom was to me and she and I are very very close today. And I have to add don't give up on her, and don't let her get by with more than she should. She will look back one day and respect you so much more for having a back bone and laying down the law for her. My parents never grounded me or anything for my evilness, and now that I can look back and see all the mistakes I made I wish they had been just a little harder on me.
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
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    At 17 she really should have grown out of that phase by now. Could be she's just a jerk. All the adult jerks in the world were children once too, you know.
  • sarafil
    sarafil Posts: 506 Member
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    She's a teenage girl. She is trying to separate from you. Not that it gives her a right to be rude or disrespectful, but it's going to happen. You have to pick your battles to save your own sanity. YES, it will get better. I was awful as a teenager, and now I can't imagine life without my parents, and I am so thankful for everything they have done for me.
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
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    Honestly, there's probably something more going on and it's just easier to "let it out" on you. My daughter has issues with her father and was afraid to speak up to him, so I got the brunt of her frustration when she got home.

    I'd try to understand what's going on in her life and how it's affecting her. Sure, there's always those "teenage hormones", but it seems like there's more going on. Talk to her, mom.


    ETA: She's probably going to fight the idea of opening up to you. Just let her know that you're there to listen *without judgement* when she's ready to vent.
  • FitBeto
    FitBeto Posts: 2,121 Member
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    My sisters a *****y teenage girl, well all 3 are/were and I have smacked my fair share of faces and put them many times in their place.I respect them and they respect me, its different when it comes to family, but thanks to them I have skill in this area. Girlfriends don't back talk me and they've taught me to take no **** from any woman. Women can say boohoo men are jerky but I think women can definitely be 100% as evil, if not evil-er.
  • shamansa
    shamansa Posts: 96 Member
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    Listen to her. Her point of view. Don't think you're always right.

    As a teenager that's all I can say.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
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    Do you remember being a teenage daughter? I do. I was a raging lunatic witch!

    I'm not now. (stop laughing).

    I had a wonderful relationship with my mother, after and sometimes during, my teenage years. She *should* grow out of it if you stick with her and continue being a supportive mom.

    Sometimes children lash out and are jerks just because. Might be a reaction to something you've done, might be she's just a jerk right now.

    Just be her mom as best you can.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
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    At 17 she really should have grown out of that phase by now. Could be she's just a jerk. All the adult jerks in the world were children once too, you know.

    And you know this because you have experience being a teenage girl?
  • happycauseIride
    happycauseIride Posts: 536 Member
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    Honestly, there's probably something more going on and it's just easier to "let it out" on you. My daughter has issues with her father and was afraid to speak up to him, so I got the brunt of her frustration when she got home.

    I'd try to understand what's going on in her life and how it's affecting her. Sure, there's always those "teenage hormones", but it seems like there's more going on. Talk to her, mom.

    ^^^ This

    I have a 15 yo daughter and most of the time she is pretty good, but when she's not it's time to sit her down for a long talk and figure out what's going on. I usually get the raw end of the stick cause I'm the Mom, but once she vents what's really bothering her, she is better.
  • pudgeylou
    pudgeylou Posts: 202 Member
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    I have two B****y teenage girls 16, and 13 and I really hope it gets better before I lose my composure and end up slapping one of them across the face. I have no advice except that it is a stage and by the time they are midway through college they should grow out of it. I try to reason with my girls but for the most part they just don't want to listen to a thing I say, it is almost as if the fact that it is coming out of my mouth makes it stupid and not worth listening to. If you find a cure for it please share with the rest of us.
  • alvalaurie
    alvalaurie Posts: 369 Member
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    Been through it & it does get better!

    Mine was the epitomy of laziness. Told her if she wanted a cell phone, I would only foot the bill for a year, then she had to pay it. YEAH RIGHT! Told her if she wanted her own car, I would buy it, but SHE must pay the insurance, gas & upkeep. YEAH RIGHT! Told her to be in by curfew & she was in, but then would sneak out after I'd gone to sleep. Could NOT get her to keep a job. Could NOT get her to do ANYthing around the house. She got mad every other minute & her temper tantrums would last for daaaaaaaaays! She tried moving out once (crashed with a friend), but was back in less than a week. I was a single Mom, so it was tough. I had no one to even confer with as to whether I was being too easy on her or if I was being too tough. I just felt my way through and eventually things fell into place. When she graduated from high school last year, it was like a light bulb suddenly came on in her little brain. She got a really good job, started paying all her own bills, moved into her own place & is starting college online in January. TOTALLY different kid! Now I have the same to look forward to with her brother. Oh goody! :ohwell:

    Hang in there Mom. It will get better!! :flowerforyou:
  • keith0373
    keith0373 Posts: 2,154 Member
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    I would talk with the hubby and get dad involved. I have 4 teens and they all understand that if they are rude to mom, they have to deal with a very angry dad. They really aren't sure that I wont snap and kill them . .lol
  • TLEIGH33777
    TLEIGH33777 Posts: 93 Member
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    My sisters a *****y teenage girl, well all 3 are/were and I have smacked my fair share of faces and put them many times in their place.I respect them and they respect me, its different when it comes to family, but thanks to them I have skill in this area. Girlfriends don't back talk me and they've taught me to take no **** from any woman. Women can say boohoo men are jerky but I think women can definitely be 100% as evil, if not evil-er.


    You seem like quite the catch....
  • Corryn78
    Corryn78 Posts: 215
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    At 17 she really should have grown out of that phase by now. Could be she's just a jerk. All the adult jerks in the world were children once too, you know.

    I have to disagree with this. I was a complete *kitten* as 17. Did lots of bad things...started then quit college. About 20 I started to figure things out, and now eventually at almost 35 I am a pretty decent person :)

    Somewhere in my early 20's my mom and I started to really get along and become friends. There is hope!!
  • ChristyRunStarr
    ChristyRunStarr Posts: 1,600 Member
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    LOL I was that bi!chy teenager growing up :blushing: but now, my mom and I get along great. It was tough at the time (for both of us) but now, we laugh about it and how because of that, we can talk easier now than ever before. I know I was bi!chy cause I was unhappy, depressed and anorexic and my mom was the person that I could take it out on knowing she'd never stop being there for me. We're similar when it comes to our temper so we'd yell, be annoyed with each other, be ok for a day, then it'd start all over again.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    At 17 she really should have grown out of that phase by now. Could be she's just a jerk. All the adult jerks in the world were children once too, you know.

    Very true. Some people are just a-holes. But if this is just a phase, it might just not be over yet.
  • HotMummyMission
    HotMummyMission Posts: 1,723 Member
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    I have a 3 year old like that's hahaha x
  • Fvaisey
    Fvaisey Posts: 5,506 Member
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    I've lived thru 3 teenage girls and it does get better. Unfortunately, you may never regain your sanity. I know I left mine lying around here somewhere. Guess I should go look for it... Oh look, I found cookies!

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