Women and Body Shaming
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I have to admit that I wouldn't want to hear my man say this because I don't want to get a mental picture? I would rather him say it to anyone but me.
LMAO! This isn't me, but I know people like this. I hate double standards. If I say some guy is hot and I'd do him, then whoever I'm dating has the right to say that about a girl.
I modified my response, after I realized the text was to her boyfriend...at first I thought it was to one of her friends.... I don't know why a girlfriend would tell their boyfriend that they want to make babies with another guy especially in a text message...I don't know what kind of response they were looking for from their boyfriend with saying something like that... but if it was to another girl then I would assume that they wanted someone else to agree. For the record those words wouldn't come out of my mouth...sounds like something younger girls would say.
Older woman do this too..I've seen it....not pretty.
I would never think it was impossible, just more common with the younger generation...I won't bother to explain why.0 -
You're body is going to be with you the rest of your life, so you better like it, or it's going to be a long miserable road.
Absolutely, but you don't have a whole culture working 24/7 telling you what you should look like. It's not all verbal. Females are exposed to millions of images of desirable beauty by the time they are adults.
Men don't experience but a tiny fraction of this, but even they have some body image insecurities.
Men experience more than a tiny fraction, they are bombarded just like women and they have a whole lot of stereotypes and standards which they are exposed to from birth to adulthood.
Shaming isn't restricted to just the one gender, one gender just tends to be more outspoken about it.0 -
You're body is going to be with you the rest of your life, so you better like it, or it's going to be a long miserable road.
Absolutely, but you don't have a whole culture working 24/7 telling you what you should look like. It's not all verbal. Females are exposed to millions of images of desirable beauty by the time they are adults.
Men don't experience but a tiny fraction of this, but even they have some body image insecurities.
Don't worry, we won't need our bodies much longer.
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I'm by no means blaming it entirely on women; men can be just as bad, if not worse. But specifically here on MFP, most of the abuse is dished out between the women.I will never understand why you do it to eachother. It is an awful behaviour perpetuated largely by the media and happily engaged in by a huge number of people. If you have ever said any variation of:
- “Men like meat. Bones are for dogs.”
- “Real women have curves.”
- “That girl looks manly.”
Or anything of the sort, please GTFO and never come back. What makes a woman a woman is her own determination of her gender and nothing more.
I agree with you, but you're being unfair in putting it all on the woman. We live in a culture in which many forces are directed towards making women feel the way they do -- and don't get me wrong -- some women help way too much. But many of these problems are pervasive and some are structural. If some women get rewards from acting a certain way they're going to do it, even if the gains are short-term and don't help women as a group.0 -
You're body is going to be with you the rest of your life, so you better like it, or it's going to be a long miserable road.
Absolutely, but you don't have a whole culture working 24/7 telling you what you should look like. It's not all verbal. Females are exposed to millions of images of desirable beauty by the time they are adults.
Men don't experience but a tiny fraction of this, but even they have some body image insecurities.
Men experience more than a tiny fraction, they are bombarded just like women and they have a whole lot of stereotypes and standards which they are exposed to from birth to adulthood.
Shaming isn't restricted to just the one gender, one gender just tends to be more outspoken about it.
Pshaw! Go stand in the checkout line at your grocery store of choice and have a look at the magazine covers, ... then come back and try to argue that men deal with the same amount of media/cultural body shaming as women.0 -
You're body is going to be with you the rest of your life, so you better like it, or it's going to be a long miserable road.
Absolutely, but you don't have a whole culture working 24/7 telling you what you should look like. It's not all verbal. Females are exposed to millions of images of desirable beauty by the time they are adults.
Men don't experience but a tiny fraction of this, but even they have some body image insecurities.
Men experience more than a tiny fraction, they are bombarded just like women and they have a whole lot of stereotypes and standards which they are exposed to from birth to adulthood.
Shaming isn't restricted to just the one gender, one gender just tends to be more outspoken about it.
Pshaw! Go stand in the checkout line at your grocery store of choice and have a look at the magazine covers, ... then come back and try to argue that men deal with the same amount of media/cultural body shaming as women.
Even in these progressive times the target audience for advertising at the checkout is women.0 -
Difference is I admit I do it, and I don't give a *kitten* what anyone thinks of me... not offline, and certainly not online...lol
Hey now. I never said I didn't shame people.
I especially love shaming people who are too lazy to walk over to the cart return a few feet away and instead leave it right next to my car. I do it pretty loudly, too.0 -
You're body is going to be with you the rest of your life, so you better like it, or it's going to be a long miserable road.
Absolutely, but you don't have a whole culture working 24/7 telling you what you should look like. It's not all verbal. Females are exposed to millions of images of desirable beauty by the time they are adults.
Men don't experience but a tiny fraction of this, but even they have some body image insecurities.
Men experience more than a tiny fraction, they are bombarded just like women and they have a whole lot of stereotypes and standards which they are exposed to from birth to adulthood.
Shaming isn't restricted to just the one gender, one gender just tends to be more outspoken about it.
Pshaw! Go stand in the checkout line at your grocery store of choice and have a look at the magazine covers, ... then come back and try to argue that men deal with the same amount of media/cultural body shaming as women.
Even in these progressive times the target audience for advertising at the checkout is women.
And when the target audience is men? What do you get on magazine covers? Often, conventionally attractive (that is, ridiculously thin) women.0 -
i understand where the OP is coming form.
on the other, no one can make you feel shame unless you're feeling it yourself. generally speaking people with healthy self esteem could hear another person saying something negative without any f*cks being given.
unfortunately too many women's self esteem is based on what other people think of them. in that sense, i think threads like "women need to stop body shaming each other" completely misses the mark on what the true problem is
And shockingly enough not everyone on a diet site has awesome teflon self-esteem. This place ought to be one that gently guides folks towards that.
Your point is right it just doesn't touch the validity of the OPs0 -
You're body is going to be with you the rest of your life, so you better like it, or it's going to be a long miserable road.
Absolutely, but you don't have a whole culture working 24/7 telling you what you should look like. It's not all verbal. Females are exposed to millions of images of desirable beauty by the time they are adults.
Men don't experience but a tiny fraction of this, but even they have some body image insecurities.
Men experience more than a tiny fraction, they are bombarded just like women and they have a whole lot of stereotypes and standards which they are exposed to from birth to adulthood.
Shaming isn't restricted to just the one gender, one gender just tends to be more outspoken about it.
Pshaw! Go stand in the checkout line at your grocery store of choice and have a look at the magazine covers, ... then come back and try to argue that men deal with the same amount of media/cultural body shaming as women.
Even in these progressive times the target audience for advertising at the checkout is women.
And when the target audience is men? What do you get on magazine covers? Often, conventionally attractive (that is, ridiculously thin) women.
what kind of male gets that kind of women? what kind of male bodies do you see on advertising? what stereotypes do tv shows, movies and books give out? what traditional stereotypes about men does society still hold standard? My point was that men experience more than a tiny fraction. It's just not made as public.0 -
LOVE this thread! I've been thin and am currently fat, but, as another poster said, "It's MY body and I rock it!" I've had many men and women tell me that the sexiest thing about me is my confidence, I dare say that confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can wear, no matter her size or shape.
I walk around the locker room in my skivvies and squeeze my body into a swimming suit 4 times a week to then march to my swimming lane in front of the university swimming team and masters swimmers. Life is too short to be miserable in the only skin you get in this lifetime. We need to stop teaching our young girls and encouraging women to increase their self worth by decreasing the worth of others. We need to uplift and empower ALL women so we stop looking so ridiculous and petty!
The only thing you have control over is your own actions, and if you don't have something nice to say, keep your trap shut!
TOTALLY this ! ^^^^^ Confidence is indeed extremely SEXY. I've always Rocked it out - no matter what size pants I've worn. Women need to get over that "my life starts at size X" .
I even blogged about it once - Sex (iness) of Fitness
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/harlanJEN/view/sex-iness-of-fitness-275703
Jen0 -
You're body is going to be with you the rest of your life, so you better like it, or it's going to be a long miserable road.
Absolutely, but you don't have a whole culture working 24/7 telling you what you should look like. It's not all verbal. Females are exposed to millions of images of desirable beauty by the time they are adults.
Men don't experience but a tiny fraction of this, but even they have some body image insecurities.
Men experience more than a tiny fraction, they are bombarded just like women and they have a whole lot of stereotypes and standards which they are exposed to from birth to adulthood.
Shaming isn't restricted to just the one gender, one gender just tends to be more outspoken about it.
Pshaw! Go stand in the checkout line at your grocery store of choice and have a look at the magazine covers, ... then come back and try to argue that men deal with the same amount of media/cultural body shaming as women.
Even in these progressive times the target audience for advertising at the checkout is women.
And when the target audience is men? What do you get on magazine covers? Often, conventionally attractive (that is, ridiculously thin) women.
what kind of male gets that kind of women? what kind of male bodies do you see on advertising? what stereotypes do tv shows, movies and books give out? what traditional stereotypes about men does society still hold standard? My point was that men experience more than a tiny fraction. It's just not made as public.
It's ... a tiny fraction as public, yeah.0 -
i understand where the OP is coming form.
on the other, no one can make you feel shame unless you're feeling it yourself. generally speaking people with healthy self esteem could hear another person saying something negative without any f*cks being given.
unfortunately too many women's self esteem is based on what other people think of them. in that sense, i think threads like "women need to stop body shaming each other" completely misses the mark on what the true problem is
And shockingly enough not everyone on a diet site has awesome teflon self-esteem. This place ought to be one that gently guides folks towards that.
Your point is right it just doesn't touch the validity of the OPs
This. Just because other people "should be able to handle it" doesn't mean you get to be an *kitten*. People have feelings. They get hurt when other people step on them. Saying otherwise is just giving yourself license to be a cruel *kitten* - and that's not anything a human being should feel entitled to.0 -
I have to disagree with this; this is swinging it the other way. There is no such thing as an undesirable category; perhaps your pool of suitors diminishes at different sizes, but your self worth and value to others is not measured by the waist band on your trousers.the women who make fun of thin women who have done nothing to them are perpetuating the same attitude that puts fat women into "undesirable" category. at the end of the day, if they had a choice, im sure they would prefer to be thin. anyone who says that theyd rather be overweight than skinny (or underweight) is deluding themselves.
Some (a lot actually) people actually would prefer to be overweight than underweight. If this is something you would deny, you have no place commenting on body shaming either, as you are perpetuating the hate as much as a larger woman insulting a thinner woman.
you have missed my point. i was saying that women who body shame on thin women are doing the same thing that society has done to them: placing them in the undesirable category.
i am also aware that these do not represent the population as a whole. so take them with a grain of salt.
http://pinkpadapp.com/community/groups/167-nutrition/polls/54383-would-you-rather-be-overweight-or-underweight-overweight-underweight/results
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=136316071&page=1
http://www.cafemom.com/group/416/forums/read/13456113/Would_you_rather_be_underweight_or_overweight
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f36/for-guys-would-you-rather-be-overweight-or-underweight-69462/
this is not to say that there are not people who would rather be overweight. i was just pointing out an observation from online and personal experience (friends, family). I am not trying to rail on overweight people, In that case I do take back that statement that said that ANYONE who says they would rather be overweight is deluded. Some people clearly would prefer that, as shown in the anonymous polls.0 -
i understand where the OP is coming form.
on the other, no one can make you feel shame unless you're feeling it yourself. generally speaking people with healthy self esteem could hear another person saying something negative without any f*cks being given.
unfortunately too many women's self esteem is based on what other people think of them. in that sense, i think threads like "women need to stop body shaming each other" completely misses the mark on what the true problem is
And shockingly enough not everyone on a diet site has awesome teflon self-esteem. This place ought to be one that gently guides folks towards that.
Your point is right it just doesn't touch the validity of the OPs
This. Just because other people "should be able to handle it" doesn't mean you get to be an *kitten*. People have feelings. They get hurt when other people step on them. Saying otherwise is just giving yourself license to be a cruel *kitten* - and that's not anything a human being should feel entitled to.
there is a blurry line between people being overtly disrespectful and people taking ambiguous statements as overtly disrespectful. who gets to qualify a statement? is there an objective yardstick by which we measure the "meanness" of a comment? not trying to be a ****, just playing devil's advocate.0 -
I just do what makes me happy...0
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Thank you for the clarification
I have to disagree with this; this is swinging it the other way. There is no such thing as an undesirable category; perhaps your pool of suitors diminishes at different sizes, but your self worth and value to others is not measured by the waist band on your trousers.the women who make fun of thin women who have done nothing to them are perpetuating the same attitude that puts fat women into "undesirable" category. at the end of the day, if they had a choice, im sure they would prefer to be thin. anyone who says that theyd rather be overweight than skinny (or underweight) is deluding themselves.
Some (a lot actually) people actually would prefer to be overweight than underweight. If this is something you would deny, you have no place commenting on body shaming either, as you are perpetuating the hate as much as a larger woman insulting a thinner woman.
you have missed my point. i was saying that women who body shame on thin women are doing the same thing that society has done to them: placing them in the undesirable category.
i am also aware that these do not represent the population as a whole. so take them with a grain of salt.
http://pinkpadapp.com/community/groups/167-nutrition/polls/54383-would-you-rather-be-overweight-or-underweight-overweight-underweight/results
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=136316071&page=1
http://www.cafemom.com/group/416/forums/read/13456113/Would_you_rather_be_underweight_or_overweight
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f36/for-guys-would-you-rather-be-overweight-or-underweight-69462/
this is not to say that there are not people who would rather be overweight. i was just pointing out an observation from online and personal experience (friends, family). I am not trying to rail on overweight people, In that case I do take back that statement that said that ANYONE who says they would rather be overweight is deluded. Some people clearly would prefer that, as shown in the anonymous polls.
I'm glad this discussion has stayed civil thus far. I would like to think it has caused a few people to stop and think about how they percieve themselves and others.0 -
I will never understand why you do it to eachother. It is an awful behaviour perpetuated largely by the media and happily engaged in by a huge number of people. If you have ever said any variation of:
- “Men like meat. Bones are for dogs.”
- “Real women have curves.”
- “That girl looks manly.”
Or anything of the sort, please GTFO and never come back. What makes a woman a woman is her own determination of her gender and nothing more.
ironanimal- You know I love ya
:smooched: , but this post seems biased. What about all of the girls who shame girls who are curvy, have large breasts, aren't muscular, aren't under bmi? Please be fair. It's all wrong. Every one has to decide which body type is right for them, set goals, and achieve it! 0 -
It't done for exactly the reasons Pu stated. Those women are not happy with their bodies. When you are OK in your own skin then you develop a 'more power to them' attitude.
The brutal truth is - women that say those things will never look like the source of their ridicule. Not without hard work and dedication. Whether its gaining weight, losing weight, becoming more fit. And I think they know that. It is a way to justify themselves and de-value something they are not. That way there is no need to put in that hard work.
You got it! :drinker:0 -
Thank you for the clarification
I have to disagree with this; this is swinging it the other way. There is no such thing as an undesirable category; perhaps your pool of suitors diminishes at different sizes, but your self worth and value to others is not measured by the waist band on your trousers.the women who make fun of thin women who have done nothing to them are perpetuating the same attitude that puts fat women into "undesirable" category. at the end of the day, if they had a choice, im sure they would prefer to be thin. anyone who says that theyd rather be overweight than skinny (or underweight) is deluding themselves.
Some (a lot actually) people actually would prefer to be overweight than underweight. If this is something you would deny, you have no place commenting on body shaming either, as you are perpetuating the hate as much as a larger woman insulting a thinner woman.
you have missed my point. i was saying that women who body shame on thin women are doing the same thing that society has done to them: placing them in the undesirable category.
i am also aware that these do not represent the population as a whole. so take them with a grain of salt.
http://pinkpadapp.com/community/groups/167-nutrition/polls/54383-would-you-rather-be-overweight-or-underweight-overweight-underweight/results
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=136316071&page=1
http://www.cafemom.com/group/416/forums/read/13456113/Would_you_rather_be_underweight_or_overweight
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f36/for-guys-would-you-rather-be-overweight-or-underweight-69462/
this is not to say that there are not people who would rather be overweight. i was just pointing out an observation from online and personal experience (friends, family). I am not trying to rail on overweight people, In that case I do take back that statement that said that ANYONE who says they would rather be overweight is deluded. Some people clearly would prefer that, as shown in the anonymous polls.
I'm glad this discussion has stayed civil thus far. I would like to think it has caused a few people to stop and think about how they percieve themselves and others.
I think for the most part, if you start a thread with a civil topic and the OP keeps a level head when people take jabs, the general direction of the thread stays civil.0
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