is it my fault she died?

BorderlineAngel
BorderlineAngel Posts: 214
in Chit-Chat
Long story short, the lady I was living with had a heart attack and died the day after we had a pretty big argument..
I feel like the added stress is what did it. I don't know how to accept that this is my fault </3 /:
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Replies

  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,412 Member
    I'm sorry you feel that way. Perhaps any added stress from the argument exacerbated her heart condition (I'm assuming here) but you are not to blame.
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    your friend didn't just get a heart attack outta the blue...she had a ****ty health condition to start with.

    Not your fault...accept it and move on. If you can't...you may need to see professional help then.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,332 Member
    I agree with others. She had to already have a health problem for that to happen. It was inevitable. My condolences on the loss of your friend, but its NOT your fault.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    your friend didn't just get a heart attack outta the blue...she had a ****ty health condition to start with.

    Not your fault...accept it and move on. If you can't...you may need to see professional help then.

    This.
  • DoingitWell
    DoingitWell Posts: 560 Member
    yes
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    Nope it was her hearts fault.
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    yes

    get out.
  • Will606
    Will606 Posts: 55
    it's not your fault , she had a heart condition. Condolences on your friends loss
  • Phoenixchichima
    Phoenixchichima Posts: 416
    no not your fault. I can see where you would feel that way, but its not & you may need some time to accept it, but its not your fault.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Agree with the above. It was her heart's fault. It may sound harsh, but you don't exist solely to take the stress off the world's hearts.
  • IzzyBooNZ1
    IzzyBooNZ1 Posts: 1,289 Member
    Not your fault. It was something that was going to happen it seems. Don't blame yourself
  • IzzyBooNZ1
    IzzyBooNZ1 Posts: 1,289 Member
    yes

    Yeah not nice.......
  • cessnaholly
    cessnaholly Posts: 780 Member
    Not your fault. (((Hugs)))
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    yes

    oh no you di'unt.
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    yes

    get out.


    well said.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It's not your fault if her condition was so fragile that the added stress would cause this, then just about anything would have done it if you hadn't argued. Please don't hold this against yourself. I don't know anything about you or the deceased, but for the most part, I can't believe that she would want you to beat yourself up over this. I would suggest that you seek some grief counseling. All my best!
  • Simone_King
    Simone_King Posts: 467 Member
    How can you be at fault because your friend had a heart condtion?

    You're not. Even if you didn't know, it's not.

    This is like saying because we moved over seas I made my mother have a stroke.

    It was a hard lesson for me. It is false. We moved overseas yes, but I didn't make her have the stroke.

    She had issues with her heart that resulted in her heaving the said stroke.

    Therefore..

    Argument does not = death.

    Your friend was sick. Sad things happen to people and I am sorry for your loss but please, don't blame yourself for her death. Argument or not.
  • lsapphire
    lsapphire Posts: 297 Member
    I have never heard of a single stress incident leading to a heart attack without other factors involved. Don't feel guilty, remember the good stuff.:cry:
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    yes

    Epic fail at trolling. Some topics should be off limits.
  • lachesissss
    lachesissss Posts: 1,298 Member
    Sometimes life is full of terrible, tragic coincidences. I believe that this is one.
  • treagal
    treagal Posts: 264 Member
    Not your fault at all...
    How could you know her arteries were clogged and she was on the verge of a heart attack? What happened to her is a lifetime of not taking care of herself.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    It is not your fault, she had a heart attack because of something going on inside her body, not because of a fight.

    A few years ago I lost someone close to me. Perhaps similar to the way you are feeling, I felt like it was at least partially my fault, that I should have done something differently. A friend who is clinical psychologist told me that this was a fairly normal response to having someone you are close to die, especially if you care about the person. I found that over time I was able to work through my grief, and accept the medical reality, that nothing I did, or could have done, would have changed the outcome. I hope that you too are able to accept this in time, if not, as others have suggested, you may want to seek professional help so that you do not carry this with you for the rest of your life.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    The only thing that is guaranteed in life is death... was any one or `you` to blame for anyone`s passing then probably no unless it was deliberate.

    Things happen and you can not always blame yourself or others.

    I am so sorry to hear about this lady passing but is it your fault? I really doubt it :noway:
  • plynn54
    plynn54 Posts: 912 Member
    awe this is sad, It cant be your fault, she must have been unhealthy to start with and would have likley gone even if you didnt have an argument :(
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    No, not your fault. Definitely get yourself to a counselor or a grief group before you let these thoughts take over your mind!
  • 33Freya
    33Freya Posts: 468 Member
    Nope. What would you tell a close friend in the same situation? Give yourself the same advice.
  • Boshnivay
    Boshnivay Posts: 74 Member
    i feel like heart attacks take a bit to come on- look at it this way, a healthy person doesn't just suddenly get a heart attack for no reason one day. the sick person already has a bad heart. it's probably not your fault that she died, it's just the circle of life.
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    It is not your fault, she had a heart attack because of something going on inside her body, not because of a fight.

    A few years ago I lost someone close to me. Perhaps similar to the way you are feeling, I felt like it was at least partially my fault, that I should have done something differently. A friend who is clinical psychologist told me that this was a fairly normal response to having someone you are close to die, especially if you care about the person. I found that over time I was able to work through my grief, and accept the medical reality, that nothing I did, or could have done, would have changed the outcome. I hope that you too are able to accept this in time, if not, as others have suggested, you may want to seek professional help so that you do not carry this with you for the rest of your life.

    You took the words right out of my mouth.
  • Bobby__Clerici
    Bobby__Clerici Posts: 741 Member
    Long story short, the lady I was living with had a heart attack and died the day after we had a pretty big argument..
    I feel like the added stress is what did it. I don't know how to accept that this is my fault </3 /:
    You can't blame yourself.
    Sorry for your loss...
  • BorderlineAngel
    BorderlineAngel Posts: 214
    Long story short, the lady I was living with had a heart attack and died the day after we had a pretty big argument..
    I feel like the added stress is what did it. I don't know how to accept that this is my fault </3 /:
    It's not your fault.
    It does not sound like you folks were close, so just find another roommate and forget this person.
    Life goes on....


    We actually were close. The thing that makes it the hardest is that was the only argument we ever had..
    After living together for 2 years..
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