Being called a "fat *kitten*" by my husband....

Punch him in the jaw. Just kidding

Growing up in a family where my stepfather was verbally abusive to my mother (I'm not saying his is but his tone leads me to believe this isn't the only "bad" thing he's said to you), I can understand how you feel. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself about HOW his comments make you feel, use that as fuel to motivate YOURSELF your small changes do make a difference.

Leaving him is not the answer but re-evaluating the environment you are in is indeed the answer.

I really hope you loss all the weight you want and meet your goals. Then when you do, get some sexy outfits and file for a divorce. No man should verbally abuse you like this. I understand you don't believe in divorce but he needs to do a 180. He should be telling you that your're beautiful just the way you are but if you want o loss weigh I'll help you. If you want to add me as a friend I'll try to encourage you as much as possible to stay on track.

Talk to him. Tell him your feelings. I know my husband isn't a great listener, but when I am at my breaking point, he gets really serious about helping me out. I fully believe in marriage as well so I wouldn't suggest you leave him... Unless he is physically abusing you or your children. Verbal abuse can be addressed... My dad is proof of that. Anyway, I like to let my food digest as well. If I do any kind of exercise too soon after eating, I get very nauseaus.

Is your husband from a military family or in the military himself? If so, maybe he is trying to motivate you by using drill instructor type of speaking.

OK, you believe in honoring your vows, but he OBVIOUSLY doesn't believe in honoring his...you know, he vowed to love, HONOR AND CHERISH you. Doesn't sound like he's keeping his end of the bargain.

I don't know how long the whole "use his words to motivate you' thing will work. At some point, you have to be replenished. You can't continue to give love and not get it back. Soon you will be depleted.

I didn't even realize this post was still going. Just to catch everyone up... we did talk. He apologized for calling me these names. Yes, it did start when I started to make a lifestyle change. He admitted that he's insecure about me making changes. He also figured that since he has lost 40 lbs, I would want to do the same things he did to lose weight. I explained that those words hurt and do nothing to motivate me. That he has to understand that I am fighting against medications, depression, bipolar disorder, hypothyroidism, and sciatica that he never had to deal with. Losing weight is going to be different for me. It helped that I took him to my doctor's appointment yesterday and had the doctor explain to him that I'm not lazy, but that medically speaking, my metabolism isn't working the same as a "normal" person's does. Also, he is a wonderful husband and father in every aspect except harsh words when it comes to my weight loss. He is not abusive to me in any other way, and I'm not even sure I would count an argument where he said hurtful words as being "abusive". I was looking for some encouragement when he said hurtful words, not to hear that I should divorce him over an argument. Good grief.

I'm glad things were resolved without jumping to conclusions. I had a feeling he didn't really mean it and would apologize.

verbal abuse is not right. Does HE believe in respect for his fellow human being????

and if he apologized...well...guess what... that is the classic cycle of abuse...duh

I know this isn't what you wanted people to say, but if someone was being verbally abusive like that to me, vows be damned! I wouldn't put up with that. I'd tell him to get his act together or hit the road.

removed posts because it sounds like this is resolved

I was in an abusive marriage myself for almost 12 years. I stayed for my children and because I didn't really believe in divorce. When children hear and see parents being abusive to eachother they learn that it is acceptable behavior. It is not acceptable and I don't want my daughters to their husbands are supposed to talk to them like that. I know that now. I sure hope that some day you will be able to believe in yourself enough to find someone who really appreciates you for who you are. Sorry, to preach. I know that everybody does what they feel is best for them in their own time. :flowerforyou:

your children deserve better than to grow up seeing their mother being abused.
too often, kids who grow up watching/hearing this stuff become the abused or the abuser in their own adult relationships.

Hi am new here and I have alot of feelings about your post. When my wife and I decided to get married she wanted prenup, for me not to drink. that bothered me so I turned around and ask for my wife remain thin, I am not attracted to over weight people and she agreed to stay thin. 13 years later I still don't drink but she has gained 50% her body weight.I still love her and would not love more if she was thin. I did call her big mam,Then I thought about her feelings and decided that wasnt helping her with her weight problem. I am ashamed for calling her big mama, I now call her hot mama.
She has started this weight loss program and i am so happy for her. My wife is my best friend fat or skinny, I wouldnt want any other women then her, But I do worry about her heath so am also counting calories for my self and her.
YOUR HUSBAND SHOULD NOT CALL YOU FAT *kitten* EVER PERIOD.
NO ONE CAN LOSE WEIGHT UNTIL THEY ARE READY, no insult will help only hurt
I AM SORRY FOR WHAT YOUR HUSBAND HAS SAID TO YOU AND YOU SHOULD TELL HIM HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL.
FAT OR SKINNY DOES NOT MAKE LOVE, PEOPLE DO.
LOVE DOES NOT COME FROM ATTRACTION. ATTRACTION ONLY BRINGS US TOGETHER.
EVERY THING ELSE KEEPS US TOGETHER









































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I actually believe in my marriage vows and don't believe in divorce.

Don't marriage vows include something about cherishing and honoring the other person?

I'm so sorry he said that to you & made you feel bad. My husband would never ever say something like that to me & I don't know how I'd handle it if he did. Get healthy & in shape for you & if he continues the verbal abuse I'd seek counseling as well & if he refuses to work on y'alls marriage then find a divorce attorney. Good luck!

doesn't really help. I've been dieting and doing light exercise. Just because I wanted to put our kids down for a nap after lunch and let my food digest before going for a 4 mile long walk doesn't make me lazy. I never said we weren't going to go, just that I wanted to wait a few hours. However, being called a lazy fat *kitten* by him doesn't really make me feel all that motivated to work out. Being told that I will never be thin again, that I will never be good for anything, and that I'm stupid isn't going to fix anything and just makes me feel worse about what little progress I've made. It also doesn't really help my depression. I know everyone's going to say to just leave him, but I actually believe in my marriage vows and don't believe in divorce.

Don't do this for him...do this for you. As some others have said...prove him wrong. Become the healthiest mom your kids can have...do it for them as well as yourself Show him he is WRONG!