why do people care that someone is fat?

Options
1234579

Replies

  • willowdancer
    willowdancer Posts: 95
    Options
    Being obese denotes weakness, and bullies go after the weak, easy targets.

    ^^This. Its just how things are. If there aren't any fat kids in class a bully will go after the one with glasses, or the one with a stutter, or the one who is smart, or the one who is slow. No matter what a bully will find someone to pick on.

    That being said, I grew up in a family of overweight people and many of my closest friends are morbidly obese. this has made me very sympathetic towards heavy people and aware for myself; my father died in his wheel chair and it took four men to carry him out of the house. This, among other events in my life, made a huge impression on me. Once you hit a certain weight it is painful to start exercising and it is too easy to get caught in a downward spiral that never ends well.

    Too many variable shape a situation to outright pass judgement every time I see someone who is over weight, but I know first hand that its not always a case of being lazy or unmotivated; a health problem can quickly add 200 pounds to someone who had once been in a healthy weight. losing a job, or otherwise being flat on your butt broke can make health and fitness at the bottom of your priority list. Sometimes I am sad when I see a really over weight person, or a whole family who are obese, but I know enough to mind my own business and not say anything to them, about them, or to stare! but I'm not much of a bully.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    Options
    You're asking for honesty, because it's 'gross'... to be honest, I worked at hooters and serving overweight people fatty foods grossed me right out!

    I can't eat with people who are overweight and make bad food choices because it creeps me out too.

    Maybe I sound mean, but I can't help it!

    Great honesty, to be sure, but so glad I can add to the list of people I would NOT want to get to know on this site.
    Yikes.

    PS You can "help" it if you truly wanted to--it's called compassion for others. :wink:

    Don't judge me... she asked for honesty so I gave her honesty. I have compassion for those who help themselves. If you're drowning yourself in your own sorrows, I can't be sympathetic... why would I be? You don't care about yourself, so why should I?

    Compassion can go a long way. I'm not saying enable anyone not willing to change their life...but what about "fat" people who are actively trying to change their life? maybe they are being hindered due to medical conditions...maybe they were 300lbs, lost a 100 but according to you..you won't "eat" with them because technically they are still fat.

    Seems very sad because you'll never get to know how great they are because you are too busy automatically putting them into the fat people who don't care about their health category.

    Also - food in moderation is okay - including what you think of as bad. If that person who lost a 100lbs was having a cheeseburger, I bet you'd still think they were gross..even though they have a good handle on their food and are consistently losing.

    ^Well stated. The older I get, the less snap judgements I am willing to make about people based solely on looks/size/outward appearance. I have NO idea what the random person I see on the street is doing with their life, so how can I judge them from one brief encounter or seeing them at a restaurant?
  • honkytonks85
    honkytonks85 Posts: 669 Member
    Options

    Also, apparently you didn't gather what others have said to you and I wasted my time here... sigh.

    The original post that I was referring in my argument was someone saying that fat people bullied skinny people and the poster stated they had never seen any fat discrimination. When I said that those people don't get discrimination on a daily basis, I meant the 'skinny' people he implied do get discriminated against MORE than fat people. That is utter bollocks. Fat discrimination is RIFE in our society. In addition to the physical attractiveness studies, I will provide you with a number of links that look at weight discrimination and bias.

    http://www.nature.com/ijo/journal/v32/n6/full/ijo200822a.html
    http://www.adelaide.edu.au/news/news35941.html
    http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13698575.2010.540648?prevSearch=%28holland%29+and+%5BFulltext%3A+holland%5D&searchHistoryKey=&
    http://www.apa.org/monitor/jan04/size.aspx
    http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1369-7625.2011.00699.x/abstract
    http://*kitten*.sagepub.com/content/22/3/290.abstract
    Crandall, C. S. (1994). Prejudice against fat people: Ideology and self-interest. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 66 882-894.
    Erving Goffman, Stigma: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity, Prentice-Hall, 1963, ISBN 0-671-62244-7.
    The Fat Studies Reader (Esther Rothblom & Sondra Solovay eds., NYU Press 2009).


    If you don't believe me then fine, I don't really care. People can go on denying that this is an issue even in the face of all the evidence that it is. That's your prerogative.

    Also, I have never denied there are no other forms of discrimination. I have said repeatedly there are other forms of discrimination, but denying fat discrimination exists is so infuriating, just as I imagine an indigenous australians (do NOT refer to them as aborigines, they don't like that) would get pretty annoyed if I told them they were not discriminated against ever.

    When I was talking about people who aren't discriminated against daily, I was referring to people of a normal weight "skinny" people as the poster referred to (not people who are discriminated against on the basis of race, gender or sexuality). The poster who I was referring to absolutely implied that fat people don't face discrimination, he even went on to insinuate that "fat people are bullies". That really grinds my gears.
  • mjhedgehog
    mjhedgehog Posts: 249 Member
    Options
    This is kind of a shot in the dark because I've never been a bully but I have been bullied. But I think some people bully overweight people because they view them as "weak" and they won't stand up for themselves. I never stood up for myself when I was overweight and people made fun of me. Now if someone tries to bully me for something I speak my mind and stand up for myself.

    So I think they do it because they view them as easy targets.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    Options

    Also, apparently you didn't gather what others have said to you and I wasted my time here... sigh.

    The original post that I was referring in my argument was someone saying that fat people bullied skinny people and the poster stated they had never seen any fat discrimination. When I said that those people don't get discrimination on a daily basis, I meant the 'skinny' people he implied do get discriminated against MORE than fat people. That is utter bollocks. Fat discrimination is RIFE in our society. In addition to the physical attractiveness studies, I will provide you with a number of links that look at weight discrimination and bias.

    http://www.nature.com/ijo/journal/v32/n6/full/ijo200822a.html
    http://www.adelaide.edu.au/news/news35941.html
    http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13698575.2010.540648?prevSearch=%28holland%29+and+%5BFulltext%3A+holland%5D&searchHistoryKey=&
    http://www.apa.org/monitor/jan04/size.aspx
    http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1369-7625.2011.00699.x/abstract
    http://*kitten*.sagepub.com/content/22/3/290.abstract
    Crandall, C. S. (1994). Prejudice against fat people: Ideology and self-interest. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 66 882-894.
    Erving Goffman, Stigma: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity, Prentice-Hall, 1963, ISBN 0-671-62244-7.
    The Fat Studies Reader (Esther Rothblom & Sondra Solovay eds., NYU Press 2009).


    If you don't believe me then fine, I don't really care. People can go on denying that this is an issue even in the face of all the evidence that it is. That's your prerogative.

    Also, I have never denied there are no other forms of discrimination. I have said repeatedly there are other forms of discrimination, but denying fat discrimination exists is so infuriating, just as I imagine an indigenous australians (do NOT refer to them as aborigines, they don't like that) would get pretty annoyed if I told them they were not discriminated against ever.

    When I was talking about people who aren't discriminated against daily, I was referring to people of a normal weight "skinny" people as the poster referred to (not people who are discriminated against on the basis of race, gender or sexuality). The poster who I was referring to absolutely implied that fat people don't face discrimination, he even went on to insinuate that "fat people are bullies". That really grinds my gears.

    You're missing, again, what I was pointing out. You specifically claimed that fat discrimination happened daily, as opposed to what, "occasional" discrimination for other groups? Even if a Muslim is thin, a lesbian is skinny, or some of dark skin is slender, they can still face daily discrimination, just not because of their weight. You can't just make a distinction between people as being "skinny" or "obese"; people are complex, and discrimination is complex. And yes, skinny people DO face discrimination to because of their size, it's just not nearly as taboo because there's a positive associated with it (and I frankly agree with the earlier poster; I've seen way too many magazine articles, "beauty" campaigns, and countless threads on MFP where thin women are absolutely torn apart over and over, and these threads don't even get locked). I'm not saying one happens more than the other, but I will contend that I think it appears to be more "socially acceptable" to riff on thin people than it does on large people... to a point. You being in Australia, and I and many others in this thread being from the US, may have very different perspectives on this, however, and perhaps where some of this discord is coming from.

    Likewise, I pointed out that weight AND physical appearance outside of weight were noted in various studies as linking to how people treat them.

    And I read the same posts you did; no where did I see that he implied that they don't; what he initially responded to was YOUR claim that no one BUT fat people faced daily discrimination. And I'm sorry, but there are definitely "fat bullies"... just like there are bullies in any sort of "group"; the argument that people are mean to obese people because of their fears/insecurities/etc. can definitely be applied to people who are overweight. Obese bullies definitely exist. Just like skinny ones, etc. etc.

    Please watch your wording; every post you've had has constantly been "either/or." Plus, the fact that your last few posts have been ended with, "Fine don't believe me" or "yeah okay fine all skinny people have it rough" type passive aggression isn't making for a very productive conversation. At all.
  • Midnight_Sunshine
    Midnight_Sunshine Posts: 369 Member
    Options
    Its not just the weight its about how someone look in general. People spend way too much energie on judging people by looks. That is weight, tattoos,piercings, different nose or other features etc.

    It sickens me sometimes, especialy the bullying going on at schools. Too bad im not at school anymore, i liked to beat up the bullies.

    Doesn't beating up people you categorize as bullies make YOU a bully?
  • mjhedgehog
    mjhedgehog Posts: 249 Member
    Options
    Can't really say but a lot of "fat" people that I met always think everyone's looking down at them for some reason when it's simply not the case. Everyone is discriminated against/bullied but it seems as though "fat" people are the most sensitive to it.

    Also for the record I've seen more "fat" people bullying others than I've seen "fat" people getting bullied.

    Have you ever had someone scream profanities at you out their car window when you walking down the street?

    Point and laugh at you when you are sitting in a chair and your fat is pointing out the sides?

    Throw food at you?

    Not give you job opportunities because you are fat?

    What about, going with your friend to their friends house and their friend literally saying you are not allowed to enter their house because you are so fat.

    I have NEVER seen ANY of this happen to a person who is a regular weight. Sorry for being so 'sensitive' though, I should have just kept my depression to myself.

    That is all.


    agreed. I remember in high school I was sitting diagonally from this girl who was really overweight but she was a really sweet person. her butt crack was showing a bit because her pants didn't fit and the guys behind her were trying to throw dimes and pennies into her pants and making fun of her "curdley butt crack" <their words not mine. I seriously don't think they would have done that if she was skinny or average weight. it made me sick to my stomach. I went down to talk to the principal about it and they got talked to but I doubt they left her alone after that.
  • jayche
    jayche Posts: 1,128 Member
    Options
    The poster who I was referring to absolutely implied that fat people don't face discrimination, he even went on to insinuate that "fat people are bullies". That really grinds my gears.
    Read my first post again. I put it below for you.
    Can't really say but a lot of "fat" people that I met always think everyone's looking down at them for some reason when it's simply not the case. Everyone is discriminated against/bullied but it seems as though "fat" people are the most sensitive to it.

    Also for the record I've seen more "fat" people bullying others than I've seen "fat" people getting bullied.
    Important points:
    - I stated everyone is discriminated against, not everyone but "fat" people.
    - I'm simply speaking from my own experience, take from it what you will, I didn't mean to insinuate anything by sharing my observation.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    Options
    Society REALLY cares about our weight. To the point it actually makes people angry when someone is fat.

    I always wondered where all that road-rage was coming from. I thought it was the heavy traffic and bad driving, but now I know it's the fat people who are pissing everyone off. :explode:
  • LovelyLifter
    LovelyLifter Posts: 560 Member
    Options
    Its not just the weight its about how someone look in general. People spend way too much energie on judging people by looks. That is weight, tattoos,piercings, different nose or other features etc.

    It sickens me sometimes, especialy the bullying going on at schools. Too bad im not at school anymore, i liked to beat up the bullies.

    Doesn't beating up people you categorize as bullies make YOU a bully?

    *snort*

    What+you+did+there.+I+see+it..+Sorry+if+a_a4344c_3091134.jpg
  • slacker80
    slacker80 Posts: 235 Member
    Options
    Simply a preference to ones taste I would think. Ketchup or mustard, onions or tomatoes, black or white? Fat maybe fine but why not promote healthy living. The only POS's out there are the bullies anyway.

    How exactly did we come to the ideal sexy woman that is imprinted in our minds? Pop culture perhaps, who knows but sex sells so don't count it to change to your advantage within your lifetime.

    It's also best we don't look for excuses and we continue to thrive for better living, succeed and build your own confidence. Everybody has the potential. This is "My FITNESS Pal" we're all in this together, and have a story to share.

    Much Luck
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
    Options

    Also, apparently you didn't gather what others have said to you and I wasted my time here... sigh.

    The original post that I was referring in my argument was someone saying that fat people bullied skinny people and the poster stated they had never seen any fat discrimination. When I said that those people don't get discrimination on a daily basis, I meant the 'skinny' people he implied do get discriminated against MORE than fat people. That is utter bollocks. Fat discrimination is RIFE in our society. In addition to the physical attractiveness studies, I will provide you with a number of links that look at weight discrimination and bias.

    http://www.nature.com/ijo/journal/v32/n6/full/ijo200822a.html
    http://www.adelaide.edu.au/news/news35941.html
    http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13698575.2010.540648?prevSearch=%28holland%29+and+%5BFulltext%3A+holland%5D&amp;searchHistoryKey=&amp;
    http://www.apa.org/monitor/jan04/size.aspx
    http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1369-7625.2011.00699.x/abstract
    http://*kitten*.sagepub.com/content/22/3/290.abstract
    Crandall, C. S. (1994). Prejudice against fat people: Ideology and self-interest. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 66 882-894.
    Erving Goffman, Stigma: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity, Prentice-Hall, 1963, ISBN 0-671-62244-7.
    The Fat Studies Reader (Esther Rothblom & Sondra Solovay eds., NYU Press 2009).


    If you don't believe me then fine, I don't really care. People can go on denying that this is an issue even in the face of all the evidence that it is. That's your prerogative.

    Also, I have never denied there are no other forms of discrimination. I have said repeatedly there are other forms of discrimination, but denying fat discrimination exists is so infuriating, just as I imagine an indigenous australians (do NOT refer to them as aborigines, they don't like that) would get pretty annoyed if I told them they were not discriminated against ever.

    When I was talking about people who aren't discriminated against daily, I was referring to people of a normal weight "skinny" people as the poster referred to (not people who are discriminated against on the basis of race, gender or sexuality). The poster who I was referring to absolutely implied that fat people don't face discrimination, he even went on to insinuate that "fat people are bullies". That really grinds my gears.

    Hate to point it out, given the intensity of this exchange, but it's clear the thin, successful, unbullied people you were thinking of were definitely white.
  • trm981
    trm981 Posts: 42 Member
    Options
    Can't really say but a lot of "fat" people that I met always think everyone's looking down at them for some reason when it's simply not the case. Everyone is discriminated against/bullied but it seems as though "fat" people are the most sensitive to it.

    Also for the record I've seen more "fat" people bullying others than I've seen "fat" people getting bullied.

    Have you ever had someone scream profanities at you out their car window when you walking down the street?

    Point and laugh at you when you are sitting in a chair and your fat is pointing out the sides?

    Throw food at you?

    Not give you job opportunities because you are fat?

    What about, going with your friend to their friends house and their friend literally saying you are not allowed to enter their house because you are so fat.

    I have NEVER seen ANY of this happen to a person who is a regular weight. Sorry for being so 'sensitive' though, I should have just kept my depression to myself.

    That is all.


    agreed. I remember in high school I was sitting diagonally from this girl who was really overweight but she was a really sweet person. her butt crack was showing a bit because her pants didn't fit and the guys behind her were trying to throw dimes and pennies into her pants and making fun of her "curdley butt crack" <their words not mine. I seriously don't think they would have done that if she was skinny or average weight. it made me sick to my stomach. I went down to talk to the principal about it and they got talked to but I doubt they left her alone after that.

    When I was in high school I was no longer overweight, but I did have very big boobs. There were some guys in one of my classes that used to try to throw change down the front of my shirt and would say derogatory things to me. So things like that do happen to skinny and average weight people. And when I was obese in Junior High I got teased, called names, sunflower seeds spit at me at the bus stop, voted the ugliest girl at the nerd table, and so on. So I do understand how that feels as well. I guess my point is maybe its not always discrimination so much as some people are just *kitten*.
  • mjhedgehog
    mjhedgehog Posts: 249 Member
    Options
    Can't really say but a lot of "fat" people that I met always think everyone's looking down at them for some reason when it's simply not the case. Everyone is discriminated against/bullied but it seems as though "fat" people are the most sensitive to it.

    Also for the record I've seen more "fat" people bullying others than I've seen "fat" people getting bullied.

    Have you ever had someone scream profanities at you out their car window when you walking down the street?

    Point and laugh at you when you are sitting in a chair and your fat is pointing out the sides?

    Throw food at you?

    Not give you job opportunities because you are fat?

    What about, going with your friend to their friends house and their friend literally saying you are not allowed to enter their house because you are so fat.

    I have NEVER seen ANY of this happen to a person who is a regular weight. Sorry for being so 'sensitive' though, I should have just kept my depression to myself.

    That is all.


    agreed. I remember in high school I was sitting diagonally from this girl who was really overweight but she was a really sweet person. her butt crack was showing a bit because her pants didn't fit and the guys behind her were trying to throw dimes and pennies into her pants and making fun of her "curdley butt crack" <their words not mine. I seriously don't think they would have done that if she was skinny or average weight. it made me sick to my stomach. I went down to talk to the principal about it and they got talked to but I doubt they left her alone after that.

    When I was in high school I was no longer overweight, but I did have very big boobs. There were some guys in one of my classes that used to try to throw change down the front of my shirt and would say derogatory things to me. So things like that do happen to skinny and average weight people. And when I was obese in Junior High I got teased, called names, sunflower seeds spit at me at the bus stop, voted the ugliest girl at the nerd table, and so on. So I do understand how that feels as well. I guess my point is maybe its not always discrimination so much as some people are just *kitten*.

    oh Im not saying it doesn't happen to just fat people. Im saying they were doing it because she was fat, and they made that explicitly clear. But yeah some people are just *kitten* for no reason. :/ its just sad and NO ONE deserves to be bullied for any reason.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
    Options
    Why do we care that some people have a different skin tone, or that some people wear glasses or have pimples? Because that's how bullying goes, and you know what, it's really not about looking different, it's what happens in school when you show weakness.
  • honkytonks85
    honkytonks85 Posts: 669 Member
    Options
    You're missing, again, what I was pointing out. You specifically claimed that fat discrimination happened daily, as opposed to what, "occasional" discrimination for other groups? Even if a Muslim is thin, a lesbian is skinny, or some of dark skin is slender, they can still face daily discrimination, just not because of their weight. You can't just make a distinction between people as being "skinny" or "obese"; people are complex, and discrimination is complex. And yes, skinny people DO face discrimination to because of their size, it's just not nearly as taboo because there's a positive associated with it (and I frankly agree with the earlier poster; I've seen way too many magazine articles, "beauty" campaigns, and countless threads on MFP where thin women are absolutely torn apart over and over, and these threads don't even get locked).

    See, here's where you've missed my point.

    I'll put it in quotes for you
    The original post that I was referring in my argument was someone saying that fat people bullied skinny people and the poster stated they had never seen any fat discrimination. When I said that those people don't get discrimination on a daily basis, I meant the 'skinny' people he implied do get discriminated against MORE than fat people

    When I was saying that they don't face daily discrimination, I wasn't referring to Muslims or other types of racism etc. I was referring to discrimination against other physical traits (other than being fat) in response to the original posters claim that 'both skinny people and fat people are discriminated against' and that 'fat people bully skinny people more than vice versa' (though it was his own personal experience).

    I have now cited studies that demonstrate clear fat discrimination and bias. For example, in the workplace, when going to the GP/Hospital and so on. So when someone contends that fat people and skinny people are 'equally discriminated against' and minimises the discrimination that occurs against fat people, I'm going to have to disagree. Except when I say it, I've actually got the evidence to back it up. It's not just "my observations". [/quote]
    I'm not saying one happens more than the other, but I will contend that I think it appears to be more "socially acceptable" to riff on thin people than it does on large people... to a point. You being in Australia, and I and many others in this thread being from the US, may have very different perspectives on this, however, and perhaps where some of this discord is coming from.

    You should read this article that I linked to earlier: http://theconversation.edu.au/what-does-fat-discrimination-look-like-10247

    You might be corerct, it does seem as though the US might have a different level of cultural acceptance of the obese. But then again, when I hear about terms like "hogging" that originate in US fraternities, I think differently (hogging is apparently where men make a sport of sleeping with fat women).

    Likewise, I pointed out that weight AND physical appearance outside of weight were noted in various studies as linking to how people treat them.

    And I read the same posts you did; no where did I see that he implied that they don't; what he initially responded to was YOUR claim that no one BUT fat people faced daily discrimination. And I'm sorry, but there are definitely "fat bullies"... just like there are bullies in any sort of "group"; the argument that people are mean to obese people because of their fears/insecurities/etc. can definitely be applied to people who are overweight. Obese bullies definitely exist. Just like skinny ones, etc. etc.

    Please watch your wording; every post you've had has constantly been "either/or." Plus, the fact that your last few posts have been ended with, "Fine don't believe me" or "yeah okay fine all skinny people have it rough" type passive aggression isn't making for a very productive conversation. At all.

    This was his original statement... prior to this statement, I had not interacted with him at all:
    Can't really say but a lot of "fat" people that I met always think everyone's looking down at them for some reason when it's simply not the case. Everyone is discriminated against/bullied but it seems as though "fat" people are the most sensitive to it.

    Also for the record I've seen more "fat" people bullying others than I've seen "fat" people getting bullied.

    The first part implies that fat and thin are discriminated against in an equal sense, but fat people are more sensitive to it. Nope, I have already disproved that, please see studies cited.

    Secondly he implies that fat people bully others more than vice versa. Well, he may have seen that but it has not been my experience. Again I refer to studies that demonstrate fat discrimination and bias.


    By the way, I have already agreed that there is some fat bullying and discrimination against thin people. But no, it's not the same, it's not as rife. You are just referring to stuff that happens on the internet. I'm referring to countless studies about stuff that happens in real life, in peoples daily lives that impacts on their health and their self esteem.
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
    Options
    I don't think anyone's denying the bias against overweight people. It's the way you've compared it to other biases that comes across as tunnel-visioned. I'm not aware of any genocides of fat people.
  • honkytonks85
    honkytonks85 Posts: 669 Member
    Options
    I don't think anyone's denying the bias against overweight people. It's the way you've compared it to other biases that comes across as tunnel-visioned. I'm not aware of any genocides of fat people.

    Um....
    Can't really say but a lot of "fat" people that I met always think everyone's looking down at them for some reason when it's simply not the case. Everyone is discriminated against/bullied but it seems as though "fat" people are the most sensitive to it.

    Also for the record I've seen more "fat" people bullying others than I've seen "fat" people getting bullied.

    My response was to the person who denied that fat people got discriminated against. I never said nobody else gets discriminated against either. I am not really tunnel visioned, I actually have aview backed up with statistics and evidence, not just my views on the world.
  • sweetchildomine
    sweetchildomine Posts: 872 Member
    Options
    I only care when people constantly complain about their weight but refuse to do anything about it. That annoys me. Besides that, I don't give a crap what you do with your own body lol. I think people spend way too much time worrying about what other people are doing with their lives.
  • jayche
    jayche Posts: 1,128 Member
    Options
    Can't really say but a lot of "fat" people that I met always think everyone's looking down at them for some reason when it's simply not the case. Everyone is discriminated against/bullied but it seems as though "fat" people are the most sensitive to it.
    My response was to the person who denied that fat people got discriminated against. I never said nobody else gets discriminated against either. I am not really tunnel visioned, I actually have aview backed up with statistics and evidence, not just my views on the world.

Categories