Diet + Love: Has this ever happened to anyone?
1ConcreteGirl
Posts: 3,677 Member
Hi guys, I'm new here and really into the whole lifestyle change thing. I don't believe in calling this a diet. But my partner recently started her own "resolutioner" diet, and she has sworn off like ten things. She's not eating cheese or drinking alcohol anymore. She's completely cut off all kinds of "bad" foods, which I think are totally fine to eat in moderation.
This is kind of making me nervous, to be honest. I mean, if she can just reject the things she used to love like that, what will she do to me? She says she loves me, but I have to admit that seeing her reject all the things we loved together (WIIIIINE
) makes me wonder if she will just shove me away, too. Anyway, has anyone ever had to deal with rejection from a dieting partner? Should I talk to her about my feelings or will this just go away on its own?
This is kind of making me nervous, to be honest. I mean, if she can just reject the things she used to love like that, what will she do to me? She says she loves me, but I have to admit that seeing her reject all the things we loved together (WIIIIINE
) makes me wonder if she will just shove me away, too. Anyway, has anyone ever had to deal with rejection from a dieting partner? Should I talk to her about my feelings or will this just go away on its own? 0
Replies
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just break up0
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just break up
I see this response a lot on the forums and it's really unhelpful.
This is a serious question.0 -
The only reason she'd swear you off is if you become bad for her. So don't.
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I take this stuff pretty seriously. If she's capable of making really radical decisions on the turn of a dime she can probably cut you loose with no emotion at all. I've always been really fickle when it came to people and found that I can also re-invent myself really easily too. Similarly, I've never been dumped, I've always been the dumper.
So I'm not saying that it's certain she's going to get rid of you, but I'm just saying that when she does, don't expect her to feel any emotion whatsoever. Anything you do see is likely to be faked for your benefit.
Sorry for the raincloud :-( Good luck with your Journey!0 -
I take this stuff pretty seriously. If she's capable of making really radical decisions on the turn of a dime she can probably cut you loose with no emotion at all. I've always been really fickle when it came to people and found that I can also re-invent myself really easily too. Similarly, I've never been dumped, I've always been the dumper.
So I'm not saying that it's certain she's going to get rid of you, but I'm just saying that when she does, don't expect her to feel any emotion whatsoever. Anything you do see is likely to be faked for your benefit.
Sorry for the raincloud :-( Good luck with your Journey!
Wow. Not what I wanted to hear.:ohwell:
Do you think that there is anything I can do to help the situation, though?0 -
just break up
I see this response a lot on the forums and it's really unhelpful.
This is a serious question.
If you see it so much maybe you should listen...0 -
She sounds unstable and inconsiderate.
Get away FAST!0 -
Heyyyyy Girl!
It sounds to me like this chick does not appreciate what she has going on. I mean, look at you! I think you are mad-sexy and any woman who could take that for granted is not worthy AT ALL. I think it might be worth looking for a real woman who can meet your needs RIGHT and appreciate you the way you deserve! All night........just playin' :flowerforyou:
I'm sending you a FR and some pics. We can do this right together!0 -
just break up
Very helpful...
I've been trying for years to lose weight. And hubby isn't the most supportive about it. Do I have high expectations of him? Yes! Lol. I expect him to eat the healthy food I cook (less beef more poultry) and love it! It's been an interesting ride to say the least. But food and you are two totally different things. Your partner isn't seeing you as a "bad" thing. She is just trying to be healthy in her own way. For me, I know ice cream in moderation is ok. However, if it's in my house, I'm eating it all by myself. So, no ice cream in my house! Lol.
Your end goals are the same, you guys are just taking different paths. That's all. Don't stress about it!0 -
Honestly, if someone is able to turn on you so quickly then they weren't really your friend to begin with. I have had this happen and it does suck because clearly you invested more into the relationship then they have but you move on and find a new partner... one who will appreciate your support and help and love instead of turning on you when the going gets easier. I do hope for your sake though that she turns out to be a supportive partner who will not only stick with you but encourage you to go on the fitness journey with her. Having an exercise buddy is great... I wish my spouse would walk with me.0
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I guess the question is actually how long do you think she will be able to stick with all the things that she's sworn off? Also, why did she start this anyway? Is it just a New Year's Resolution or do you think that maybe seeing you live a healthy lifestyle has made her want to as well? If that's the case then it could mean she's trying to be better for you. There are a lot of variables but at the end of the day, the only thing you can do is be the bigger person and love her if you love her.0
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Telling someone to "just break up" with a person they've invested in and love is like telling someone to throw out a $100 shirt because a button fell off! Relationships--serious ones--are an investment of time and energy with a person you love. You don't discard them on a whim. Something I have to remind myself daily is that you can't get too caught up on the "what-ifs". Take everyday as it comes. Just because she's sworn off sugar doesn't mean she's going to be so quick to toss out you're sugar LOL0
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just break up
That is not very nice, SIR!
Shouldn't be so mean to someone when it comes to love! She sounds genuineley concerned.
OP: I don't know the answer, but I hope it works out for you!0 -
I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.0
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Heyyyyy Girl!
It sounds to me like this chick does not appreciate what she has going on. I mean, look at you! I think you are mad-sexy and any woman who could take that for granted is not worthy AT ALL. I think it might be worth looking for a real woman who can meet your needs RIGHT and appreciate you the way you deserve! All night........just playin' :flowerforyou:
I'm sending you a FR and some pics. We can do this right together!
Thank you so much! This made my day... Thanks for the FR!0 -
I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.
I know it is probably overreaction on my part, I just can't help but think that if you love something or someone, you would find a way to keep it/them in your life, you know?0 -
The Just Break Up Thing is kind of a joke in the forums. It was before my time, but it's carried on. I don't think it's meant to be a serious response.
As per your girlfriend.....I am the kind of person who can get CRAZY WRAPPED UP INTO NEW THINGS OMG THIS IS EVERYTHING I AM AND EVER WILL BE ZOMG 11!!!1!!. That can be everything from a video game to a school class to a new health habit. My initial instincts are to slam-charge into everything headfirst, rehaul everything, and completely ignore any and all signs of burnout until I've dropped myself completely on the floor.
It's not healthy, to say the least. And it drives my loved ones insane. But as I learn more about how to do thing healthy (both physical and mental), they are also learning to trust me to work through those first instincts, even if they do initially present themselves.
It may not be that she would just change and leave you by the wayside. She may just be very, very excited and the kind of person who moves that into EVERYTHING. Talk with her about it - hopefully you will find that or something similar is the case.0 -
Heyyyyy Girl!
It sounds to me like this chick does not appreciate what she has going on. I mean, look at you! I think you are mad-sexy and any woman who could take that for granted is not worthy AT ALL. I think it might be worth looking for a real woman who can meet your needs RIGHT and appreciate you the way you deserve! All night........just playin' :flowerforyou:
I'm sending you a FR and some pics. We can do this right together!
Thank you so much! This made my day... Thanks for the FR!
Anyway I can get in on this action?0 -
I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.
^-This
You may not agree with the approach she's taking to her diet, but there's a HUGE jump between 'I'm not going to eat cheese anymore' and 'I don't love you anymore'
Now if your argument was 'I don't wanns be with her anymore because all the food she eats is bland as hell and miserable'...0 -
I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.
^^this
Don't compare yourself to food. She doesn't look at food the same way she looks at a person. I think you're overreacting.
Just support her, as long as what she's trying isn't unhealthy. It sounds like she's going about it the wrong way in my opinion, so it probably will not last.0 -
Hi guys, I'm new here and really into the whole lifestyle change thing. I don't believe in calling this a diet. But my partner recently started her own "resolutioner" diet, and she has sworn off like ten things. She's not eating cheese or drinking alcohol anymore. She's completely cut off all kinds of "bad" foods, which I think are totally fine to eat in moderation.
How much further along are you on your journey than your partner? Maybe they need to crack down on the diet more than you do. Perhaps they feel threatened that you're getting in great shape and they're stalled on the couch watching Seinfeld reruns. Maybe your partner is afraid you're getting all fixed up so you can dump them. Your partner could be riddled with insecurities about you getting in shape and they might not be telling you about it. Perhaps they don't fully understand that they're feeling this way and they're subconsciously acting out on this fear. Even if they're in great shape too that doesn't mean they have the same amount of confidence.
I do understand the abstinence from wine. It's much harder to make good eating decisions if you're not totally sober. Wine is more than social lubricant. It relaxes your mind and lets you make choices that you wouldn't make without it. Choices like bad food. Some people can handle having an occasional drink but others are just one sip away from diving head first into a vat of wine and eating all the cheese.0 -
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hope she does not lose the taste for fish taco!!!!10
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Communication is the key.
Education is the door.
Open it.0 -
Mmmbop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du
Yeah0 -
Just tie her up0
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If you can't talk to a partner about your feelings, either they aren't or you aren't much of a partner.
Frankly, everyone does this differently, Most of us are here because we're calorie-counters, but there are plenty of people, who in order to reach their goals, went low-carb, keto, paleo, vegan, or whatever else is out there right now. What you consider to be 'fine in moderation' may be almost 'trigger foods' for her. Example- I know it's ok to eat McDonald's in moderation, but I personally don't do it because it makes me want to eat more garbage. Talk to her. Find out what motivates her, and try to make your plans work in harmony,0 -
I guess the question is actually how long do you think she will be able to stick with all the things that she's sworn off? Also, why did she start this anyway? Is it just a New Year's Resolution or do you think that maybe seeing you live a healthy lifestyle has made her want to as well? If that's the case then it could mean she's trying to be better for you. There are a lot of variables but at the end of the day, the only thing you can do is be the bigger person and love her if you love her.
GREAT response! This makes me feel super hopeful! A lot of "resolutioners" fall off the wagon, I know. Thanks for this!0 -
Hi guys, I'm new here and really into the whole lifestyle change thing. I don't believe in calling this a diet. But my partner recently started her own "resolutioner" diet, and she has sworn off like ten things. She's not eating cheese or drinking alcohol anymore. She's completely cut off all kinds of "bad" foods, which I think are totally fine to eat in moderation.
This is kind of making me nervous, to be honest. I mean, if she can just reject the things she used to love like that, what will she do to me? She says she loves me, but I have to admit that seeing her reject all the things we loved together (WIIIIINE ) makes me wonder if she will just shove me away, too. Anyway, has anyone ever had to deal with rejection from a dieting partner? Should I talk to her about my feelings or will this just go away on its own?
I'd never quit you...0 -
I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.
I know it is probably overreaction on my part, I just can't help but think that if you love something or someone, you would find a way to keep it/them in your life, you know?
I agree with the first person. I can try to give up potato chips [my kryptonite] cold turkey but there is no way that translates to my commitment to my hubbie. You have to be supportive. Don't be a creep and try to get her to drink wine with you. Drink your small glass of wine and bring her a big glass of ice water.0
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