Diet + Love: Has this ever happened to anyone?

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1ConcreteGirl
1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi guys, I'm new here and really into the whole lifestyle change thing. I don't believe in calling this a diet. But my partner recently started her own "resolutioner" diet, and she has sworn off like ten things. She's not eating cheese or drinking alcohol anymore. She's completely cut off all kinds of "bad" foods, which I think are totally fine to eat in moderation.

This is kind of making me nervous, to be honest. I mean, if she can just reject the things she used to love like that, what will she do to me? She says she loves me, but I have to admit that seeing her reject all the things we loved together (WIIIIINE :love: ) makes me wonder if she will just shove me away, too. Anyway, has anyone ever had to deal with rejection from a dieting partner? Should I talk to her about my feelings or will this just go away on its own?
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Replies

  • TheRealPDouble
    TheRealPDouble Posts: 153
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    just break up
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    just break up

    I see this response a lot on the forums and it's really unhelpful.

    This is a serious question.
  • Joyjmb
    Joyjmb Posts: 221 Member
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    The only reason she'd swear you off is if you become bad for her. So don't. =)
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
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    I take this stuff pretty seriously. If she's capable of making really radical decisions on the turn of a dime she can probably cut you loose with no emotion at all. I've always been really fickle when it came to people and found that I can also re-invent myself really easily too. Similarly, I've never been dumped, I've always been the dumper.

    So I'm not saying that it's certain she's going to get rid of you, but I'm just saying that when she does, don't expect her to feel any emotion whatsoever. Anything you do see is likely to be faked for your benefit.

    Sorry for the raincloud :-( Good luck with your Journey!
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    I take this stuff pretty seriously. If she's capable of making really radical decisions on the turn of a dime she can probably cut you loose with no emotion at all. I've always been really fickle when it came to people and found that I can also re-invent myself really easily too. Similarly, I've never been dumped, I've always been the dumper.

    So I'm not saying that it's certain she's going to get rid of you, but I'm just saying that when she does, don't expect her to feel any emotion whatsoever. Anything you do see is likely to be faked for your benefit.

    Sorry for the raincloud :-( Good luck with your Journey!

    Wow. Not what I wanted to hear.:ohwell:

    Do you think that there is anything I can do to help the situation, though?
  • TheRealPDouble
    TheRealPDouble Posts: 153
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    just break up

    I see this response a lot on the forums and it's really unhelpful.

    This is a serious question.

    If you see it so much maybe you should listen...
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    She sounds unstable and inconsiderate.

    Get away FAST!
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    Heyyyyy Girl!

    It sounds to me like this chick does not appreciate what she has going on. I mean, look at you! I think you are mad-sexy and any woman who could take that for granted is not worthy AT ALL. I think it might be worth looking for a real woman who can meet your needs RIGHT and appreciate you the way you deserve! All night........just playin' :flowerforyou:

    I'm sending you a FR and some pics. We can do this right together!
  • geisharunner219
    geisharunner219 Posts: 47
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    just break up

    Very helpful...

    I've been trying for years to lose weight. And hubby isn't the most supportive about it. Do I have high expectations of him? Yes! Lol. I expect him to eat the healthy food I cook (less beef more poultry) and love it! It's been an interesting ride to say the least. But food and you are two totally different things. Your partner isn't seeing you as a "bad" thing. She is just trying to be healthy in her own way. For me, I know ice cream in moderation is ok. However, if it's in my house, I'm eating it all by myself. So, no ice cream in my house! Lol.

    Your end goals are the same, you guys are just taking different paths. That's all. Don't stress about it!
  • AmykinsCatfood
    AmykinsCatfood Posts: 599 Member
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    Honestly, if someone is able to turn on you so quickly then they weren't really your friend to begin with. I have had this happen and it does suck because clearly you invested more into the relationship then they have but you move on and find a new partner... one who will appreciate your support and help and love instead of turning on you when the going gets easier. I do hope for your sake though that she turns out to be a supportive partner who will not only stick with you but encourage you to go on the fitness journey with her. Having an exercise buddy is great... I wish my spouse would walk with me.
  • iamlaprell
    iamlaprell Posts: 71 Member
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    I guess the question is actually how long do you think she will be able to stick with all the things that she's sworn off? Also, why did she start this anyway? Is it just a New Year's Resolution or do you think that maybe seeing you live a healthy lifestyle has made her want to as well? If that's the case then it could mean she's trying to be better for you. There are a lot of variables but at the end of the day, the only thing you can do is be the bigger person and love her if you love her.
  • angdestry
    angdestry Posts: 8
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    Telling someone to "just break up" with a person they've invested in and love is like telling someone to throw out a $100 shirt because a button fell off! Relationships--serious ones--are an investment of time and energy with a person you love. You don't discard them on a whim. Something I have to remind myself daily is that you can't get too caught up on the "what-ifs". Take everyday as it comes. Just because she's sworn off sugar doesn't mean she's going to be so quick to toss out you're sugar LOL
  • ilovemybuggy
    ilovemybuggy Posts: 1,584 Member
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    just break up

    That is not very nice, SIR!

    Shouldn't be so mean to someone when it comes to love! She sounds genuineley concerned.

    OP: I don't know the answer, but I hope it works out for you!
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
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    I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    Heyyyyy Girl!

    It sounds to me like this chick does not appreciate what she has going on. I mean, look at you! I think you are mad-sexy and any woman who could take that for granted is not worthy AT ALL. I think it might be worth looking for a real woman who can meet your needs RIGHT and appreciate you the way you deserve! All night........just playin' :flowerforyou:

    I'm sending you a FR and some pics. We can do this right together!

    Thank you so much! This made my day... Thanks for the FR!
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.

    I know it is probably overreaction on my part, I just can't help but think that if you love something or someone, you would find a way to keep it/them in your life, you know?
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    The Just Break Up Thing is kind of a joke in the forums. It was before my time, but it's carried on. I don't think it's meant to be a serious response.

    As per your girlfriend.....I am the kind of person who can get CRAZY WRAPPED UP INTO NEW THINGS OMG THIS IS EVERYTHING I AM AND EVER WILL BE ZOMG 11!!!1!!. That can be everything from a video game to a school class to a new health habit. My initial instincts are to slam-charge into everything headfirst, rehaul everything, and completely ignore any and all signs of burnout until I've dropped myself completely on the floor.

    It's not healthy, to say the least. And it drives my loved ones insane. But as I learn more about how to do thing healthy (both physical and mental), they are also learning to trust me to work through those first instincts, even if they do initially present themselves.

    It may not be that she would just change and leave you by the wayside. She may just be very, very excited and the kind of person who moves that into EVERYTHING. Talk with her about it - hopefully you will find that or something similar is the case.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Heyyyyy Girl!

    It sounds to me like this chick does not appreciate what she has going on. I mean, look at you! I think you are mad-sexy and any woman who could take that for granted is not worthy AT ALL. I think it might be worth looking for a real woman who can meet your needs RIGHT and appreciate you the way you deserve! All night........just playin' :flowerforyou:

    I'm sending you a FR and some pics. We can do this right together!

    Thank you so much! This made my day... Thanks for the FR!

    Anyway I can get in on this action?
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.

    ^-This

    You may not agree with the approach she's taking to her diet, but there's a HUGE jump between 'I'm not going to eat cheese anymore' and 'I don't love you anymore'

    Now if your argument was 'I don't wanns be with her anymore because all the food she eats is bland as hell and miserable'...
  • speedgoose
    speedgoose Posts: 295
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    I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.

    ^^this

    Don't compare yourself to food. She doesn't look at food the same way she looks at a person. I think you're overreacting.

    Just support her, as long as what she's trying isn't unhealthy. It sounds like she's going about it the wrong way in my opinion, so it probably will not last.

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