Do you view someone's success differently if......

CricketWhiskers
CricketWhiskers Posts: 64 Member
in Chit-Chat
When you see someone on MFP or in real life who has lost a lot of weight and you find out that they did it through gastric bypass, lapband or any other kind of surgical procedure does it affect how you view their success?

I've noticed that whenever I see someone who's lost 100+lbs I'm always really inspired until I see in their bio that they had surgery to achieve it and it kind of bums me out. I know surgery is only a tool and that the success really comes from the person themselves, and this isn't to say that I'm not happy for them, but it's just so much more inspiring for me to see people with huge weight loss numbers who did it through diet and exercise.

I know that in many cases its strictly for health reasons and to get the weight off as quickly as possible to help save a person's life but I still get that little "Oh wow! Look at what this person di.... oh.... surgery"

Do you view someone's success differently if you find out they lost weight through one of these methods?
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Replies

  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    Nope.
    My opinion is whatever means it takes to reach your goal, go for it. I will not judge.
  • KittenTikka
    KittenTikka Posts: 93
    Nope. Losing weight takes willpower, even with a gastric band. Gastric band + no willpower won't = weight-loss in the long-term
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
    I view it differently. Gastric bypass is something I can't relate to, so I don't really give it a second thought.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    I have a very good friend on here who had Gastric Bypass. I'm pretty sure she had to struggle, scream, and claw to lose her 100+ lbs just as much as I did, if not more.

    Just because someone had surgery to help speed up the initial process, doesn't mean they don't deserve the same level of respect and praise as someone who lost a similar amount of weight without surgery.
  • _SpeshK_
    _SpeshK_ Posts: 496 Member
    I guess I can see where you're coming from, but honestly of the few people I know who have had the surgery they all went through very painstaking attempts at weight loss and for them surgery was their final option. I think, because of the "lazy" stigma that often comes with it, people feel embarrassed to mention they got surgery. But if you took a step to better yourself, I say thumbs up! Maybe it's not the most conventional. But it's of course terribly uncomfortable. And in order for it to truly stick, you have to develop the habits that the diet and exercise folks develop.

    Long story short...to each his own.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    I have a very good friend on here who had Gastric Bypass. I'm pretty sure she had to struggle, scream, and claw to lose her 100+ lbs just as much as I did, if not more.

    Just because someone had surgery to help speed up the initial process, doesn't mean they don't deserve the same level of respect and praise as someone who lost a similar amount of weight without surgery.

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  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I don't think less of their efforts, if that's what you mean. But I do usually doubt their continued success more than those that did it at a slower pace. IMO, far too many doctors doing weight loss surgery fail to require their patients also deal with the psychological issues that caused them to get so big in the first place, as well as issues that can be caused by rapid weight loss.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    No... In the end they still have to work hard. Also the psychological battle is tough also.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    I see people's advice differently when they've had bariatric surgery, yes, particularly with regards to nutrition. They have a physically altered digestive system and their experience is not necessarily applicable to those who haven't had the surgery. I wish they would put a disclaimer in their nutritional advice so that people would know. It does not mean that their advice isn't worthwhile, because there are plenty of other folks with bariatric surgery looking for advice- I just wish they would clarify before saying things like "My doctor told me 700 calories a day is perfectly safe and I have to take XYZ vitamin supplements" that simply aren't applicable to everyone.

    Just to be clear, I know bariatric surgery is not the 'easy way out' everyone thinks it is, but it DOES make the process radically different. I do not think they deserve any less respect than anyone else.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    No. My sister had gastric bypass, and she has kept the weight off for a few years now. She just recently started to lose more weight, having stabilized from the surgery at a weight that was higher than she wanted to be, and she struggles everyday with it.
  • Chelsrf
    Chelsrf Posts: 194 Member
    I have a very good friend on here who had Gastric Bypass. I'm pretty sure she had to struggle, scream, and claw to lose her 100+ lbs just as much as I did, if not more.

    Just because someone had surgery to help speed up the initial process, doesn't mean they don't deserve the same level of respect and praise as someone who lost a similar amount of weight without surgery.

    Thank you! I completely agree and being a sleeve patient myself I have first hand knowledge of this Because of the stigma behind the surgery being the "lazy" way out, people that have it a lot of times get the shrug off at their loss. What you don't see is that it is often more difficult. The diet and lifestyle that you have to live after surgery is stricter than anything a normal dieter would follow and if they want to keep it off they have to do it for life. We deal with plateaus just like everyone else, difference is we don't have as much freedom when it comes to "shaking" up our diets as everyone else does.

    I know plenty of people that have had the surgery and haven't lost the weight or have gained it back. The surgery is a TOOL (I can't say that enough), it does not do it for you, you have to work just as hard with it as without it.

    Please do not think less of their efforts.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    yes 100%.

    I dont think of them as lesser than those who did it the hard way - but I do think that they missed out on what those who did it through hard work- gained.

    getting fit the old fashioned way makes you mentally stronger, emotionally better able to cope with obstacles, you learn yourself better because you face fears head on and are constantly proving to yourself (without anyone on the outside being in your head with you) that you can tackle anything if you try hard enough - that you can evolve your body on your own, your life, your path, the direction you want to move forward in., making these things actually happen for yourself through hard work, to me, brings with it a strong sense of self that you just cant get without the patience and sweat of spending years cultivating a relationship with yourself.

    my brain cant wrap itself around how you can gain all those same things while you're unconscious in surgery.
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
    Sure, if you are a judgmental type person that looks down upon anyone who doesn't do things the way YOU think is right, even though you know nothing about them or what they go through.

    Oh, wait...
  • tammyj83
    tammyj83 Posts: 159 Member
    I suppose that doing anything other than diet and exercise, alone, can seem like cheating. On the other hand, enduring a surgical procedure can't be easy. In fact, I'd guess that you're more inspired when you see someone who lost it w/o surgery because, when you're searching for encouragement, you naturally want to believe that you, too, can be successful--w/o the pain and expense of surgery. Seriously, who among us WANTS to resort to that? I think we all agree that losing weight can be extremely difficult and seem literally impossible, at times. Observing and interacting with MFPer's can be inspirational and uplifting. It can also be frustrating and hurtful. But, it's always helpful to me because it urges me to make my health a priority.
  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
    I just feel fortunate that I didn't have to do that myself, and it makes me feel blessed, but no real judgement towards them.
  • irjeffb
    irjeffb Posts: 275 Member
    yes 100%.

    I dont think of them as lesser than those who did it the hard way - but I do think that they missed out on what those who did it through hard work- gained.

    getting fit the old fashioned way makes you mentally stronger, emotionally better able to cope with obstacles, you learn yourself better because you face fears head on and are constantly proving to yourself (without anyone on the outside being in your head with you) that you can tackle anything if you try hard enough - that you can evolve your body on your own, your life, your path, the direction you want to move forward in., making these things actually happen for yourself through hard work, to me, brings with it a strong sense of self that you just cant get without the patience and sweat of spending years cultivating a relationship with yourself.

    my brain cant wrap itself around how you can gain all those same things while you're unconscious in surgery.
    I agree, but would not have said it as eloquently as this.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    I become very judgmental and tell them they cheated. Isn't it exactly like taking steroids for building muscle? Well that, and I try to insult their religion while I'm at it.
  • IntoTheSky
    IntoTheSky Posts: 390 Member
    No, I really don't. They have to learn too, just in a different way. They have to work too, just in a different way. They have to eat tiny amounts of food WHILE learning how to eat properly and it is SO hard to keep it off, and they have a different set of obstacles, that are no easier to overcome.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Right or wrong, yeah, I view it differently. Not to say that WLS doesn't take hard work and commitment and all that stuff, but it's still different.

    I'm not judging either way, but to say that there is no difference seems disingenuous to me.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
    I think sometimes it's the only option.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    I see people's advice differently when they've had bariatric surgery, yes, particularly with regards to nutrition. They have a physically altered digestive system and their experience is not necessarily applicable to those who haven't had the surgery. I wish they would put a disclaimer in their nutritional advice so that people would know. It does not mean that their advice isn't worthwhile, because there are plenty of other folks with bariatric surgery looking for advice- I just wish they would clarify before saying things like "My doctor told me 700 calories a day is perfectly safe and I have to take XYZ vitamin supplements" that simply aren't applicable to everyone.

    Just to be clear, I know bariatric surgery is not the 'easy way out' everyone thinks it is, but it DOES make the process radically different. I do not think they deserve any less respect than anyone else.

    This, 100%. I'd also add that it's easy to sit back and say, "It's the easy way out," but it is a major surgery, and for someone to decide to do that is a serious undertaking.
  • peckish_pomegranate
    peckish_pomegranate Posts: 242 Member
    Why do you care about other people's business?
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
    I judge it differently. I'm a jerk.
  • CarlaChalk78
    CarlaChalk78 Posts: 60
    I do :( Judgemental I know but deep down ...yes.
  • nturner612
    nturner612 Posts: 710 Member
    yes thats cheating. while its "hard" in its own way, nothign is harder than working out and watching while you eat without any kind of "supervision."

    thats like saying im going to run a marathon, but my ankles really hurt. so give me a ride till im almost at the finish line and i will run from there to the end.

    cheating.
  • JimLeonardRN
    JimLeonardRN Posts: 296 Member
    I have a very good friend on here who had Gastric Bypass. I'm pretty sure she had to struggle, scream, and claw to lose her 100+ lbs just as much as I did, if not more.

    Just because someone had surgery to help speed up the initial process, doesn't mean they don't deserve the same level of respect and praise as someone who lost a similar amount of weight without surgery.

    Thank you! I completely agree and being a sleeve patient myself I have first hand knowledge of this Because of the stigma behind the surgery being the "lazy" way out, people that have it a lot of times get the shrug off at their loss. What you don't see is that it is often more difficult. The diet and lifestyle that you have to live after surgery is stricter than anything a normal dieter would follow and if they want to keep it off they have to do it for life. We deal with plateaus just like everyone else, difference is we don't have as much freedom when it comes to "shaking" up our diets as everyone else does.

    I know plenty of people that have had the surgery and haven't lost the weight or have gained it back. The surgery is a TOOL (I can't say that enough), it does not do it for you, you have to work just as hard with it as without it.

    Please do not think less of their efforts.

    Amen Amen Amen! I wish I could have lost the 130+ pounds Ive lost thus far doing just diet and exercise. But after years of trying and failing I chose this route. Some of y'all dont understand the struggle to get in 100+ grams of protein when your stomach is only 4 ounces in size. As well as all the other dietary restrictions.
  • forgtmenot
    forgtmenot Posts: 860 Member
    I view it differently. Gastric bypass is something I can't relate to, so I don't really give it a second thought.

    This^
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
    Success is living healthy lifestyle, not losing weight. So, I don't care if you amputate your leg to lose weight. I care about how you, exercise and take care of your body.
  • SmexAppeal
    SmexAppeal Posts: 858 Member
    It shouldn't make you view them differently. My cousin had gastric bypass, but she has done absolutely nothing to take care of herself. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my cousin... but her body needs work. She can't eat much anymore, but still does not have any muscle tone and has tons of saggy skin. People who get surgery still have a lot to do when they get past it. So don't view them differently. Maybe they took a little shortcut, but they still have to finish the race!
  • zoober
    zoober Posts: 226 Member
    Having had minor abdominal surgery my own self, I don't view bariatric surgery as something to dismiss. Takes a lot of courage to go under the knife, and it takes willpowerm or at least forebearance, to preserve the gains (or the losses, I guess).

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