Marriage values in our society....
Replies
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I am very disappointed in hearing some news today. Where has everyone's marriage values gone? I'm hearing waaay too much about people having affairs, or secretly meeting someone for "lunch" or "texting and/or talking on the phone" when your spouse is unaware. These are all considered Affairs....whether physical and/or emotional....they are still affairs. I know that if anything like this ever happened to me, I would TRY my best to work through it with my husband....I would....but knowing my personality, it would be the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I feel so BLESSED that I have a husband who has the same marriage values as mine but also dumbfounded and a little (i should say ALOT) disgusted at the things I have seen at the gym and also with the news I heard today. Shame on some people for not putting the importance of their marriage above any "lust" or attraction you may of felt.
You think he's not cheating on you but he might have sexy text message "affairs" or Facebook sexy chats. How in the world would you ever really know what he does?0 -
i dont think she is judging anymore than some of you judge other peoples food diaries. she is just stating her opinion about something that obviously bothered her today. everyone else vents on here, why cant she? she believes in the importance of marriage, some of you dont, big deal. i see people attacked on here for eating 1200 calories a day, for eating fast food, for eating all cereal, for not excercising, for too much exercise, for this and that... everyone has thier own opinion and beliefs. just because some of you may not agree with the op, doesnt mean she shouldnt have the right to vent. something happend to upset her, and why not get it off her shoulders. we are all like that, something upsets us, and until we "vent" it, its a burden. i too believe in the importance of marriage, so, while i am in no way offended by her post, i also believe that we all have the right to our opinions... and lets be real, having an opinion on anything could be misunderstood as judgement.
and besides, i proudly judge people on a daily basis, because im a parent, and i have to. have none of you ever decided that so and so's house was not a good place for your child to be, or that so and so is not a good influence on your child. have any of you with a teenage daughter thought that a boy she was dating was no good, or atleast not goood enough for her? ive got 5 kids, I MAKE JUDGEMENTS DAILY, on people, families, and lifestyles... thats judging, what i do, is judging... the op is simply venting!0 -
When you say "our" society, which one do you mean?
more than likely, shes talking about humanity. humanity once had morals and ethics, not so much anymore...0 -
Oh, and why is marriage "sacred"? It is only a contract really, and contracts are broken or dissolved all the time. Of course, I'm an atheist and don't place the same importance on the word "marriage" many religious people might.
I'm an atheist too, and while I wouldn't say that marriage is "sacred", it should be taken seriously. If you love someone enough to make such a commitment as marriage, possibly have kids with them, promise to grow old with them, you should love and respect them enough to not hurt them by having an affair. To do otherwise is just selfishness. You should live by the rules you agreed to, otherwise, leave and then you can sleep with whoever you want and on one will care.0 -
"Marriage Values" doesn't seem like "Chit-chat , fun and games" to me-- more like "how can I get everyone to get up in everyone else's grill and laugh while it happens" .... OP, you may want to rethink posting topics like this and wait for a more appropriate forum/ place instead ...0
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You're right; none of us have any values.
I, too, miss the old marriage values of society. When women were forced to marry the men who raped them. Or when women were considered property and nothing more. Or when women couldn't marry someone of a different race.
Yup. No values today. We've only gone downhill.
I couldn't have said it better. I would offer you some flowers... :flowerforyou: ...but people might think we're lesbians -- and we all know that relationships between two loving, consenting adults of the same sex is part of the reason that people have no values and marriages are failing.
(That is the ONLY time I will ever say that, and for those of you with reading comprehension issues, I'M BEING SARCASTIC. There are plenty of same-sex couples who treat their unrecognized relationships with more respect than many straight people treat their marriages. There is not a single good reason to keep two adults who are capable of making their own decisions FROM making their own decisions.)0 -
i dont think she is judging anymore than some of you judge other peoples food diaries. she is just stating her opinion about something that obviously bothered her today. everyone else vents on here, why cant she? she believes in the importance of marriage, some of you dont, big deal. i see people attacked on here for eating 1200 calories a day, for eating fast food, for eating all cereal, for not excercising, for too much exercise, for this and that... everyone has thier own opinion and beliefs. just because some of you may not agree with the op, doesnt mean she shouldnt have the right to vent. something happend to upset here, and why not get it off her shoulders. we are all like that, something upsets us, and until we "vent" it, its a burden. i too believe in the importance of marriage, so, while i am in no way offended by her post, i also believe that we all have the right to our opinions... and lets be real, having an opinion is judgement.
she can vent. However, if you look at statistics some states have very low divorce rates. Mine does. As stated above. Marriage takes work. There's all types of marriage. Values are different from one person to the next. She just needs to respect all types of marriages and if she does not...that's okay. I just would not want someone that is closed minded to hang out in my circle of friends (not that the OP is closed minded) but in my state we allow gay marriage and there's a pretty large culture of poly relationships. So, while the OP has a right to her opinion she should know that not everyone married views marriage the same way. I for one am straight and in a committed relationship. Not all of my friends are straight and not all of my friends have the same type of marriage.0 -
I 100% agree with you, Sunlight2013!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. You can "friend" me if you want.0 -
These are all considered Affairs....whether physical and/or emotional....they are still affairs.
That is your opinion.
It is not an opinion, it is the actual definition of affair.
af·fair (-fâr)
n.
1. Something done or to be done; business.
2. affairs Transactions and other matters of professional or public business: affairs of state.
3.
a. An occurrence, event, or matter: The senator's death was a tragic affair.
b. A social function.
4. An object or a contrivance: Their first car was a ramshackle affair.
5. A matter of personal concern.
6. affairs Personal business: get one's affairs in order.
7. A matter causing public scandal and controversy: the Dreyfus affair.
8. A romantic and/or sexual relationship, sometimes one of brief duration, between two people who are not married to each other.
Looks like you're going to have to find a new tactic in your crusade to defend infidelity. Good luck.0 -
THIS IS ONLY IN MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE... so don't get all riled up because I am not necessarily saying this is the case for any of you, because I know none of you.. BUT, it seems to me the ones that make the biggest deal about this kind of stuff.. the ones that constantly say they would NEVER do anything mentioned in this thread or even think of doing it.. the ones that constantly feel the need to announce how they feel about infidelity and how 'disgusted' they are with it... those seem to be the most guilty. again, not saying this about any of you, but there have been many people and circumstances in my life that have proved this theory of mine right
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When you say "our" society, which one do you mean?
more than likely, shes talking about humanity. humanity once had morals and ethics, not so much anymore...
That's laughable. People were having affairs looonnnggg before this. They just kept it discreet and stayed married because they worried about what "society" would think if they divorced. Then again, there was a time when divorce wasn't an option.
As for "humanity" - let's not get into a history debate on "values"...every period of time and every culture has had it's pros and cons and leave it at that. This is no exception.0 -
These are all considered Affairs....whether physical and/or emotional....they are still affairs.
That is your opinion.
It is not an opinion, it is the actual definition of affair.
af·fair (-fâr)
n.
1. Something done or to be done; business.
2. affairs Transactions and other matters of professional or public business: affairs of state.
3.
a. An occurrence, event, or matter: The senator's death was a tragic affair.
b. A social function.
4. An object or a contrivance: Their first car was a ramshackle affair.
5. A matter of personal concern.
6. affairs Personal business: get one's affairs in order.
7. A matter causing public scandal and controversy: the Dreyfus affair.
8. A romantic and/or sexual relationship, sometimes one of brief duration, between two people who are not married to each other.
Looks like you're going to have to find a new tactic in your crusade to defend infidelity. Good luck.
It's different if someone is Poly. They are not having an affair. They have their primary. They also have others they are in a relationship with. If they are honest with the primary it's not an affair.0 -
You're right; none of us have any values.
I, too, miss the old marriage values of society. When women were forced to marry the men who raped them. Or when women were considered property and nothing more. Or when women couldn't marry someone of a different race.
Yup. No values today. We've only gone downhill.
I couldn't have said it better. I would offer you some flowers... :flowerforyou: ...but people might think we're lesbians -- and we all know that relationships between two loving, consenting adults of the same sex is part of the reason that people have no values and marriages are failing.
(That is the ONLY time I will ever say that, and for those of you with reading comprehension issues, I'M BEING SARCASTIC. There are plenty of same-sex couples who treat their unrecognized relationships with more respect than many straight people treat their marriages. There is not a single good reason to keep two adults who are capable of making their own decisions FROM making their own decisions.)
I agree with most of this. The only thing I would change is the "two" part. I think a marriage should be between however many people that the participants desire. It shouldn't be limited to two. But, then again, I have no morals just like the rest of society.0 -
THIS IS ONLY IN MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE... so don't get all riled up because I am not necessarily saying this is the case for any of you, because I know none of you.. BUT, it seems to me the ones that make the biggest deal about this kind of stuff.. the ones that constantly say they would NEVER do anything mentioned in this thread or even think of doing it.. the ones that constantly feel the need to announce how they feel about infidelity and how 'disgusted' they are with it... those seem to be the most guilty. again, not saying this about any of you, but there have been many people and circumstances in my life that have proved this theory of mine right
I agree.0 -
When you say "our" society, which one do you mean?
more than likely, shes talking about humanity. humanity once had morals and ethics, not so much anymore...
Tell that to the Sodomites0 -
When you say "our" society, which one do you mean?
more than likely, shes talking about humanity. humanity once had morals and ethics, not so much anymore...
Tell that to the Sodomites
?0 -
I yearn for the good 'ol days when affairs didn't happen.
When unicorns flourished and Jesus rode Dinosaurs....
hahaa0 -
I agree with most of this. The only thing I would change is the "two" part. I think a marriage should be between however many people that the participants desire. It shouldn't be limited to two. But, then again, I have no morals just like the rest of society.
I agree with you. Because people in my life are Poly and I'm not going to love them any less because their idea of marriage is not MY idea of marriage.0 -
THIS IS ONLY IN MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE... so don't get all riled up because I am not necessarily saying this is the case for any of you, because I know none of you.. BUT, it seems to me the ones that make the biggest deal about this kind of stuff.. the ones that constantly say they would NEVER do anything mentioned in this thread or even think of doing it.. the ones that constantly feel the need to announce how they feel about infidelity and how 'disgusted' they are with it... those seem to be the most guilty. again, not saying this about any of you, but there have been many people and circumstances in my life that have proved this theory of mine right
I agree.
yep0 -
Yes, people have cheated throughout history. That does not excuse it. I think the issue the OP is really having is society no longer stigmatizes the act like they used to. As a society we no longer hold each other for crappy behavior. Many of the responses are "if it doesn't affect you why do you care?" True infidelity may not affect us on a daily basis. That does not mean we have to agree with it or ignore it. Think about your political hot button abortion, gun control, gay marriage, or the death penalty, If it doesn't affect you why do you care about these issues. We do care and have a right to express an opinion without being mocked or ridiculed. (I know everyone is a tough guy on the internet)
I believe marriage is sacred because I made promise to my wife and God. I always find it interesting that many atheists make statements about people of faith being stupid because we believe in a high power. I disagree with your beliefs, but I don't mock you for having the courage to express your beliefs. Have some basic human decency and show some respect for others.
Emotional cheating is a real thing and until you’re in a loving a committed relationship it cannot be fully understood. In the end if I am more emotionally connected to someone than my wife, I am not respecting her and am cheating.
People have a right to express their beliefs, but can you do it without a—hole?
THIS THIS THIS
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No one has the place to judge anyone else's relationship, you just do not know what kind of arrangement or relationship they have and are comfortable with, you can not judge a book by it's cover so to speak. I know several married couples who text other people and have male and female friends that border on flirting, but it is all in jest and just silliness, however their spouses also know their spouses would never cross "that" line. To me it is about understanding each other and being secure.0
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When you say "our" society, which one do you mean?
more than likely, shes talking about humanity. humanity once had morals and ethics, not so much anymore...
Tell that to the Sodomites
why would i tell the sodomites that? what a silly statement...0 -
Yes, people have cheated throughout history. That does not excuse it. I think the issue the OP is really having is society no longer stigmatizes the act like they used to. As a society we no longer hold each other for crappy behavior. Many of the responses are "if it doesn't affect you why do you care?" True infidelity may not affect us on a daily basis. That does not mean we have to agree with it or ignore it. Think about your political hot button abortion, gun control, gay marriage, or the death penalty, If it doesn't affect you why do you care about these issues. We do care and have a right to express an opinion without being mocked or ridiculed. (I know everyone is a tough guy on the internet)
I believe marriage is sacred because I made promise to my wife and God. I always find it interesting that many atheists make statements about people of faith being stupid because we believe in a high power. I disagree with your beliefs, but I don't mock you for having the courage to express your beliefs. Have some basic human decency and show some respect for others.
Emotional cheating is a real thing and until you’re in a loving a committed relationship it cannot be fully understood. In the end if I am more emotionally connected to someone than my wife, I am not respecting her and am cheating.
People have a right to express their beliefs, but can you do it without a—hole?
THIS THIS THIS
Is my marriage less sacred because we got married by a justice of the peace and did not make any promises to God? Oh and we're not atheists, my husband was raised Protestant and I'm half Jewish.0 -
I feel bad for nice people who are cheated on. That is all.0
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These are all considered Affairs....whether physical and/or emotional....they are still affairs.
That is your opinion.
It is not an opinion, it is the actual definition of affair.
af·fair (-fâr)
n.
1. Something done or to be done; business.
2. affairs Transactions and other matters of professional or public business: affairs of state.
3.
a. An occurrence, event, or matter: The senator's death was a tragic affair.
b. A social function.
4. An object or a contrivance: Their first car was a ramshackle affair.
5. A matter of personal concern.
6. affairs Personal business: get one's affairs in order.
7. A matter causing public scandal and controversy: the Dreyfus affair.
8. A romantic and/or sexual relationship, sometimes one of brief duration, between two people who are not married to each other.
Looks like you're going to have to find a new tactic in your crusade to defend infidelity. Good luck.
It's different if someone is Poly. They are not having an affair. They have their primary. They also have others they are in a relationship with. If they are honest with the primary it's not an affair.
If two ppl agree beforehand, and are both ok with it, more power to them. That is their business and none of mine. But it still fits within the definition of "affair", regardless of whether both parties are cool with it.
Edited for typos0 -
No one has the place to judge anyone else's relationship, you just do not know what kind of arrangement or relationship they have and are comfortable with, you can not judge a book by it's cover so to speak. I know several married couples who text other people and have male and female friends that border on flirting, but it is all in jest and just silliness, however their spouses also know their spouses would never cross "that" line. To me it is about understanding each other and being secure.
Correct. Some of my male friends have been in my life longer than my husband (and he's been in my life nearly 19 years). I grew up in a house where the parents had same sex friends and it was always the norm.0 -
Your husband is probably cheating on you.0
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AWWWWW :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:These are all considered Affairs....whether physical and/or emotional....they are still affairs.
That is your opinion.
Looks like you're going to have to find a new tactic in your crusade to defend infidelity. Good luck.0 -
Morals and values are subjective......different people have different beliefs, and no one is perfect.
Even "good and evil" isn't black and white.0 -
Yes, people have cheated throughout history. That does not excuse it. I think the issue the OP is really having is society no longer stigmatizes the act like they used to. As a society we no longer hold each other for crappy behavior. Many of the responses are "if it doesn't affect you why do you care?" True infidelity may not affect us on a daily basis. That does not mean we have to agree with it or ignore it. Think about your political hot button abortion, gun control, gay marriage, or the death penalty, If it doesn't affect you why do you care about these issues. We do care and have a right to express an opinion without being mocked or ridiculed. (I know everyone is a tough guy on the internet)
I believe marriage is sacred because I made promise to my wife and God. I always find it interesting that many atheists make statements about people of faith being stupid because we believe in a high power. I disagree with your beliefs, but I don't mock you for having the courage to express your beliefs. Have some basic human decency and show some respect for others.
Emotional cheating is a real thing and until you’re in a loving a committed relationship it cannot be fully understood. In the end if I am more emotionally connected to someone than my wife, I am not respecting her and am cheating.
People have a right to express their beliefs, but can you do it without a—hole?
THIS THIS THIS
Is my marriage less sacred because we got married by a justice of the peace and did not make any promises to God? Oh and we're not atheists, my husband was raised Protestant and I'm half Jewish.
I don't think that was his point. I think his vows were made to his wife and to God, but I don't think he was bashing you for how you made yours. He was stating the importance of his. He pointed out he does not care if you are athiest or whatever else. He just believes in human decency.
I am a Christian, but I don't care if you are gay, or whatever. It doesn't effect me. And I agree, some gay people hold marriage more dear to their heart than some straight people. I just think if you enter into such an agreement with someone you love, then hold it close to your heart and keep the promises you made!0
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