Most hurtful comments

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  • murphinchina
    murphinchina Posts: 72
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    I had a long time family doctor said to me, "Scott, it's been a long time since I've seen you! You've gotten fat!". I wasn't offended, maybe because of the big smile on his face, the really cool Afrikaans accent, or the fact that he's just a helluva nice guy and TRULY cares about his patients. And, I HAD gotten fat! I try not to let it bother me, especially here in China where people think that if something is true, they are allowed to say it. I lost count of the little kids in my classes who've said, "Teacher! You're fat!". My mental response is usually, sth like "yeah, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight"! Can't really say that to a kid though. :(

    But I did tell my Dr. "Gee doc, maybe I have gotten fat, but this room is very small and I'm between you and the door. So you should smile when you say that." (He laughed... nervously...)
  • BobbieLee1959
    BobbieLee1959 Posts: 605 Member
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    K...my nickname in 10th grade, thanks to a more "mature" upperclassman, was "porkchop". I also was oinked at on numerous occasions....so between my sophomore and junior year, I walked my cousins paper route with her every day, ate normal portions of foods and lost 60 lbs. Went back to school that fall, lean and mean, just looking for a fight~~instead I discovered that boys had a whole new way of addressing me....hmmmmm....of course, because they had hurt me and humiliated me, I chose to ignore them, but I did gain new insight into human nature, and a share of satisfaction at pretending they were not worthy of my attention.

    I have lived both sides and the way I see it, a friend when I am fat is a friend for life, so I want you all to know that my love for each of you is real and heartfelt, and fat or skinny, you all are my FRIENDS FOR LIFE!!
  • Annaduurai
    Annaduurai Posts: 56 Member
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    4 months after my 2nd child was born I was smaller than I am now but bigger than the size 5 (at 5'11") when I met my husband, I overheard my X mother in law and my X-husband talking privately. I heard her say "You deserve a skinny wife, give her an ultimatum" This woman was a licensed psychologist! I never received the ultimatum, though fast forward 10 years, another child and an auto accident, he left because in his words "I didn't know what to do you kept getting fatter and fatter and now your bed ridden and sick you'll never lose weight" (his last words while moving his crap out of the house. Funny thing is, I was bed ridden 7 months and gained 25lbs, before the accident I had lost 94 lbs! I responded with "You kept getting balder and balder but I still loved you! There's a difference though, I will lose this weight and you will be a bald superficial **** forever!"
  • Nikki31104
    Nikki31104 Posts: 816 Member
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    Years ago I was at a night club. When it closed for the night everyone was walking out the door and a man was standing by the door. He started checking me out from top to bottom but when he got to my stomach he said "Dam shorty got a gut" and went scouting for the next girl. I don't know if HE knows I heard him but those five little words have stuck with me all these years. Now I only wear shirts that are too big for me so you can't see my stomach.
  • Mlkmaid
    Mlkmaid Posts: 356 Member
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    I am so sorry this man's rude comment got you down. There are, sadly, a lot of really nasty people out there. You have to just tell yourself he's a miserable human being and it's not about you it's about him. I'm sure he's not a very happy camper in his own life.
  • boyd224
    boyd224 Posts: 14
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    You are beautiful, dont let anyone make you think otherwise
  • RobinvdM
    RobinvdM Posts: 634 Member
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    I feel your pain, totally and unequivocally. Some people have no issues letting fly with thoughtless hurtful noises or words and, really, it just makes THEM look bad. How sad is it when you can't find any other way to make yourself feel better than to bring others, strangers or friends, down with the things you say or do?

    Worst one for me:

    My future mother in law was helping set up for the reception, and when she saw the chairs we were using and said "Wow you will need 2 of those!" Who does that?! :angry:

    Last year on one of my favorite "long walks" through a local state park (which unfortunately abuts the local high school as well...) A group of said highschoolers were off the trail, just hanging out "being boys." They took one look at me and started in with the insulting comments and making "BOOM" noises as I walked past. I was infuriated, and hurt, and my one thought was- how glad I felt to be in such a confident state of mind that their jeering had little genuine influence over me aside of hurting my feelings. How sad I was for whomever might pass after me and have a more fragile sense of confidence, and how MAD I was at these kids for thinking that is how you treat other people.

    I considered reporting their delinquent butts to the school, but decided it would be malicious and petty and a lot longer of a walk out of my way :laugh: Sadly, they were still there when I was on my return trip and they got right back at their "clever" antics, and I may or may not have snarked something like "grow up." :grumble:
  • devastation77
    devastation77 Posts: 233
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    Joke's on him, because you continue to be awesome, while he continues to be a miserable ****.
  • sqshyfsh
    sqshyfsh Posts: 8 Member
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    Thank you for starting this thread - great to have a place to vent!!! My students - I work with 5 year olds through 12 year olds.

    I had an 8 year old boy, interrupt in the middle of my instructions, with "You look pregnant!" And not in a cute, excited, is she pregnant way, but in a mean, hurtful way that stopped me in my tracks.

    So frustrating, because as a teacher its my job to maintain my cool, even when someone says something that makes you want to run to the bathroom crying!
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    So many things, sadly.

    I remember once I was coming out of a comic book store and I almost bumped into two guys. One of them said 'Almost had a pair then!' and his friend said 'Yeah, nice tits. Shame about her face' followed by laughter and pointing gestures as they walked away.
  • Denisse210
    Denisse210 Posts: 292 Member
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    I have gotten the" when are you due" but the worst i have gotten was " its a good thing your fat, no one will try to kidnap you" (while visiting family in mexico city)
  • LyndaMRou
    LyndaMRou Posts: 54 Member
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    It's sad and pathetic that people feel the need to make demeaning comments to other people just to deal with their own insecurities. I'm not very good at holding my tongue so he and I would have had a few words. Don't let this get you down. The best revenge is to succeed. So succeed in your weight loss journey.

    Love this and it's the perfect comback to those *kitten* out there who would be so bold as to say something so awful.
  • BonnieandClyde29
    BonnieandClyde29 Posts: 1,026 Member
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    I'm so sorry that happened to you!!! People are horrible!!! I've had a few incidents myself

    -One of the managers at my job, said "Oh that's a cute maternity shirt", which I replied, "It's not, and I'm not pregnant", She literally argued with me that I was! Like i wouldn't f*****g know!
    -My mom told me I had a muffin top, and when I didn't know what it was she said you have fat over your pants! (When I actually didnt)
    -A guy kept hitting on me and talking to me, and when I asked him why are you talking to me I KNOW I'm not your type he got all defensive, then finally admitted he was waiting to date me after I lost my weight. I told him I wasn't mad that he had a preference, but when I called him out on it he got defensive.
    -In highschool a guy kept calling me a fatass, so I kicked his *kitten* (LITERALLY), then he wanted to press charges on me....never happened HA!
  • MeganGlover36
    MeganGlover36 Posts: 1
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    The worst for me was when out shopping with my daughter, who is a little overweight but by no means fat ( they didnt see my other daughter that weighs about 60 pounds soaking wet) a very slim woman says to me that being overweight is a choice that i made not only for myself but for my child and really what kind of mother would do that. I had never felt worse about myself than at that moment... People are rude and hurtful! Hope you dont have to deal with anymore jerks like that
  • BonnieandClyde29
    BonnieandClyde29 Posts: 1,026 Member
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    Don't let it get you down though!!! That guy who Oiked at you probably has a small D**K!!! haha, but I know it's hurtful, and we all can't help the way we feel, just try to ignore it and move on, or you can let it fuel your determination to prove those *kitten* wrong!!! I hope you have a better day lovlie!
  • NRSPAM
    NRSPAM Posts: 961 Member
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    I don't think I've ever told anyone this story. When I was in the fourth grade I overheard my aunt talking to my mother. She said " You better do something about your daughter. She's getting fat. It's only going to get worse if you don't do something about it now". She went on to sing the praises of her two beautiful slender daughters. My cousins. She pointed out their tiny waist lines and slender hips. I looked down at my pudgy bell and chunky thighs and cried. I had a lot of stress in my young life and food was my compfort. I didn't say anything to my mother. She was very kind and suportive to me but the comment stayed with me my entire life. It was so damaging. I think it was a pivitol momment for my self esteem going forward and really definded me for the first 25 years of my life.
    I learned so much from those words as grew I older. Words cause damage. They scar and hurt people. And it's real!

    Fast forward 49 years- That Aunt is 75lbs overweight herself and in poor health. Her two daughter are obese as well. I my self managed to lose my "baby fat" by the time I turned 18. Today I weigh a slender 147lbs And wear a size 4 jeans. My weight crept up on me when I was in my 40's and I had to drop 30lbs. It was tough but I did it!! I often wonder if I should tell my aunt how much her comments hurt me.

    Ugggghhh!!! I'm jealous! You must be really tall, cuz I weighed 147 2 weeks ago, and am nowhere near a size 4!!! Lol. Yes, I would definately tell her!!! Although, I tried talking to my mother about how she used to make me feel, and she just said she didn't remember, which made me feel even worse.
  • NRSPAM
    NRSPAM Posts: 961 Member
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    Where to begin? When I was a kid in school, they'd call me every name in the book. They'd throw food at me in the cafeteria. They'd make "boom, boom, boom" sounds as i walked. They'd press themselves up against the walls as if my fat was crushing them and there was no room for them to walk in the halls. They moo at me. They would hit me. They would pinch the rolls of fat on me. They would tell me that I was worthless and that i should just go kill myself. That was my life every day from pre school till i graduated high school. After high school, I got married young to a man that treated me just as badly. When i finally decided to loose the weight and get rid of him and i had hit that last straw and demanded he leave the house he said to me "you'll always be ugly no matter how much weight you lose and if you were still fat you wouldn't be pulling this ****. you think you're hot **** now but you're not"
    the damage can't be undone. i still have issues eating in public. i still feel like i'll never be good enough. i have lost so much but i still see 370lbs in the mirror. every day.

    Wow, yes! this really brought back some more memories. Never been abused by a boyfriend or anything, and I'm so sorry you went through that. When I was about 11 or 12, I was walking home from school, and these older boys through a huge a#@ rock at the back of my neck! For absolutely no reason. I had never seen them before. I was minding my own business. I just ignored them and kept going. And the noises kids would make when I was walking. People are a@#holes!!! Now I'm skinny, and a lot of them are fat. Haha to them! :tongue:
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
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    bump to catch up with later:flowerforyou:
  • NinjaTheGinger
    NinjaTheGinger Posts: 89 Member
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    The most hurtful comments I've ever had came from the ones that I loved the most. I grew up in a house where one parental figure would call me 'Fat, ugly, and unloved' among other things that I will not mention here. That is where my insecurities started. I've had several 'lovers' tell me that I need to lose weight, and maybe then I will be truly desirable. It's a neverending cycle, however you come to realize the only person's opinion that matters is your own. /Shrug
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    The most hurtful comments I've ever had came from the ones that I loved the most. I grew up in a house where one parental figure would call me 'Fat, ugly, and unloved' among other things that I will not mention here. That is where my insecurities started. I've had several 'lovers' tell me that I need to lose weight, and maybe then I will be truly desirable. It's a neverending cycle, however you come to realize the only person's opinion that matters is your own. /Shrug

    heres the thing. when people make comments like this it is cause of their own issues. Never ever ever do something to try to better yourself to please someone. if he doesnt think youre attractive as you are, then say, sorry you feel that way and we are done. as cliche as it sounds, there is someone for everyone, you just have to look a little bit.

    i have been there where i was a perfectly acceptable guy to go out and have drinks with and to fool around with but wasnt the type of guy to introduce as her bf with to her kids. i am sure that my body size had to do with it though it was never discussed.

    while im not wholeheartedly a vindictive person i have kept mental note of the ladies who have turned down a date in the past for future references.

    also sorry a parent said that about you. while its a horrible thing to go through and undoubtedly sucks just realize that parents arent always correct. im sure jeffery dahmers mom thought he was a nice guy

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