Ex Got Daughter a Python. Freaking Out!! Advice Please!!
Options
Replies
-
I was really enjoying all the rational replies. And thenThats upsetting that their being so insensitive to you!
because you have joint legal you do have a say about a good deal of things that go on over there when they effect your daughter. if you want to force the issue then I sugjest you contact either a lawyer for a consultation or if you can't offord that a paralegal. if your in southern ca I know a good one who does free consultations.
Did you ever think that the husband getting a snake for his daughter MAYBE had nothing to do with the ex wife?
Yes. Hire a lawyer to sue your husband for getting a snake. The children will be thrilled and the courts have nothing better to do.
if you read the rest of my post you will see I sugjested she do somthing eles
FACT is she is the mother and has a right to what happens with her daughter, I work at my mothers paralegal beusness and see this every day, and yes a judge will listen to this and take into account all the facts. I belive I said the father MAY be acting like that to spit her,, given he knew her fear of snakes, I have a husband who deal with an ex who controls his kids, so I am not bais agains the dads at all, but she needs to know and feel that she has the right to what heppens in her daughters life
So you work at your mother's paralegal business, and you decided to start commenting on what the law is and what judges will consider in family court cases? I could be wrong here, but it seems to me that you need about 3 more years of education and bar exam.0 -
I was really enjoying all the rational replies. And thenThats upsetting that their being so insensitive to you!
because you have joint legal you do have a say about a good deal of things that go on over there when they effect your daughter. if you want to force the issue then I sugjest you contact either a lawyer for a consultation or if you can't offord that a paralegal. if your in southern ca I know a good one who does free consultations.
Did you ever think that the husband getting a snake for his daughter MAYBE had nothing to do with the ex wife?
Yes. Hire a lawyer to sue your husband for getting a snake. The children will be thrilled and the courts have nothing better to do.
if you read the rest of my post you will see I sugjested she do somthing eles
FACT is she is the mother and has a right to what happens with her daughter, I work at my mothers paralegal beusness and see this every day, and yes a judge will listen to this and take into account all the facts. I belive I said the father MAY be acting like that to spit her,, given he knew her fear of snakes, I have a husband who deal with an ex who controls his kids, so I am not bais agains the dads at all, but she needs to know and feel that she has the right to what heppens in her daughters life
But doesn't he have any rights? Plus the OP has stated her daughter likes snakes and most animals. It's not hard to beleive that mayeb, just maybe, the daughter wanted her own pet snake and instead of asking her mother, who is scared to death of them, she asked her father. Big deal.
yes of cource the same as her, if she got a dog that bites he could also asks the judge to order the dog be kept from the presence of the child.
WHat this could also have been is the daughter could have wnated teh snake cause she knew how her mom feels about it, and the dad just wanted to make her happy dispite how he knows the mom feels about it.
children will use parents against eachother speshly those who are split.
the point is they really should co parent, I think it would be more compassionate to ask the daughter to pick a defferent pet and to honer her mother by not worrying her so much, she is the momma! her fears my be unwarrented but she is still a scared momma who feels like she has no control, the father should be more muture then that. I think
0 -
your right a lot do that, I work in a paralegal office I see that a lot. but one thing you have to think about is that parents DO have rights over their children. how scary is it to feel like the safty of your kid is out of your control.
My sister used her joint legal to stop her ex from constently moving their son from school to school, she wanted his schooling to be more stable then that. so you see sometimes it is nessacary
my hubsand has three kids with his ex girl friend, we would never go out and get a pet she was terrified about and have thier kids play with it.
the kid wanting that pet is not more important then the mommas or the fathers feelings, you know?
its just not. I stated the frist part of my post letting her know she does have rights, cause that is important for parents to have that, then I told her its best to let her daughter make this choice so perhaps they will grow closer toghter
I disagree. I don't think the children should be deprived of enjoying a pet snake because her mother has an irrational fear. The snake is not dangerous to the children. At least no more so than a dog or cat.
I think she needs to grow up and let her children live their lives, not put her own fears on them.
A lot of people have irrational fears. Clowns, snakes, spiders, the dark... If a mother is afraid of clowns should an ex-husband be sued for taking his kids to the circus?
I think since you work in the legal field you have a bias that things should be settled by a judge. Myself, and many others, feel that the last thing a person should do is drag their ex and the kids into a courtroom every time they don't like something.
No not bais, I think the parents should deff first try to co parent, but she made it seem like that wasnt happening,
If she is being unrational the point is she should feel like she has a choice over her kids safty same as the dad, and I still think her having some pet is not as important as how her mother feels or about the fact she doesnt seem to care how her mother feels, my dad would be made at me if I just didn't care my mother was worreid about me0 -
I think it's high time you upped the ante and went to all out war with your ex. .I mean. .it is a snake and it is your biggest fear, so obviously he's out to get you. . A pre-emptive strike is your only option. . Call the police and have him arrested. . Doesn't matter what for. .make something up!. . .
I'm blown away that this guy thinks he can do whatever the hell he wants without clearing it with you!. .What's next? Devil music on the radio? Beer in the fridge? White shoes after labor day!? . . This MUST stop now!. .0 -
I was really enjoying all the rational replies. And thenThats upsetting that their being so insensitive to you!
because you have joint legal you do have a say about a good deal of things that go on over there when they effect your daughter. if you want to force the issue then I sugjest you contact either a lawyer for a consultation or if you can't offord that a paralegal. if your in southern ca I know a good one who does free consultations.
Did you ever think that the husband getting a snake for his daughter MAYBE had nothing to do with the ex wife?
Yes. Hire a lawyer to sue your husband for getting a snake. The children will be thrilled and the courts have nothing better to do.
if you read the rest of my post you will see I sugjested she do somthing eles
FACT is she is the mother and has a right to what happens with her daughter, I work at my mothers paralegal beusness and see this every day, and yes a judge will listen to this and take into account all the facts. I belive I said the father MAY be acting like that to spit her,, given he knew her fear of snakes, I have a husband who deal with an ex who controls his kids, so I am not bais agains the dads at all, but she needs to know and feel that she has the right to what heppens in her daughters life
But doesn't he have any rights? Plus the OP has stated her daughter likes snakes and most animals. It's not hard to beleive that mayeb, just maybe, the daughter wanted her own pet snake and instead of asking her mother, who is scared to death of them, she asked her father. Big deal.
yes of cource the same as her, if she got a dog that bites he could also asks the judge to order the dog be kept from the presence of the child.
WHat this could also have been is the daughter could have wnated teh snake cause she knew how her mom feels about it, and the dad just wanted to make her happy dispite how he knows the mom feels about it.
children will use parents against eachother speshly those who are split.
the point is they really should co parent, I think it would be more compassionate to ask the daughter to pick a defferent pet and to honer her mother by not worrying her so much, she is the momma! her fears my be unwarrented but she is still a scared momma who feels like she has no control, the father should be more muture then that. I think
yup you got me there good for you for having a relivent funny pic to point it out :drinker:0 -
1. Ball pythons don't get that big. They're one of the "smaller" snakes in the pet trade.
2. they're much hardier than bearded dragons and withstand captivity well, so your daughter won't likely suffer the same disappointment/heartache of losing a pet so soon after getting it.
3. Ball pythons are docile, non-venomous, and don't require a lot of attention or space compared to a lot of "exotic" pets
4. It's not fair to take your own insecurities/phobias out on your daughter. Plus, at 15, she's not a child; she can handle a baby snake.
All of this^^^ except if you are afraid of it, they should respect that. Fears are no joke. I myself own a ball python however I am very afraid of catterpillars and would never have one in my house. If it's technically the ex's snake, let him keep it at his house. Burmese and Rock Pythons have given Pythons a bad name. But I feel your fear should be respected by never letting it in YOUR house. But it's at his so you should be ok.0 -
I was really enjoying all the rational replies. And thenThats upsetting that their being so insensitive to you!
because you have joint legal you do have a say about a good deal of things that go on over there when they effect your daughter. if you want to force the issue then I sugjest you contact either a lawyer for a consultation or if you can't offord that a paralegal. if your in southern ca I know a good one who does free consultations.
Did you ever think that the husband getting a snake for his daughter MAYBE had nothing to do with the ex wife?
Yes. Hire a lawyer to sue your husband for getting a snake. The children will be thrilled and the courts have nothing better to do.
if you read the rest of my post you will see I sugjested she do somthing eles
FACT is she is the mother and has a right to what happens with her daughter, I work at my mothers paralegal beusness and see this every day, and yes a judge will listen to this and take into account all the facts. I belive I said the father MAY be acting like that to spit her,, given he knew her fear of snakes, I have a husband who deal with an ex who controls his kids, so I am not bais agains the dads at all, but she needs to know and feel that she has the right to what heppens in her daughters life
So you work at your mother's paralegal business, and you decided to start commenting on what the law is and what judges will consider in family court cases? I could be wrong here, but it seems to me that you need about 3 more years of education and bar exam.
Hey I didn't say what would happen in court, I just said she could go that way, and I brought up I work at a paralegal office to show I see this everyday, no need to get snippy mr0 -
1. Ball pythons don't get that big. They're one of the "smaller" snakes in the pet trade.
2. they're much hardier than bearded dragons and withstand captivity well, so your daughter won't likely suffer the same disappointment/heartache of losing a pet so soon after getting it.
3. Ball pythons are docile, non-venomous, and don't require a lot of attention or space compared to a lot of "exotic" pets
4. It's not fair to take your own insecurities/phobias out on your daughter. Plus, at 15, she's not a child; she can handle a baby snake.
All of this^^^ except if you are afraid of it, they should respect that. Fears are no joke. I myself own a ball python however I am very afraid of catterpillars and would never have one in my house. If it's technically the ex's snake, let him keep it at his house. Burmese and Rock Pythons have given Pythons a bad name. But I feel your fear should be respected.
It's at HIS house. She IMO, it is being respected. Now, if the daugther asked to bring it to her house, that could be another story but I doubt the daughter would do such a thing.0 -
1. Ball pythons don't get that big. They're one of the "smaller" snakes in the pet trade.
2. they're much hardier than bearded dragons and withstand captivity well, so your daughter won't likely suffer the same disappointment/heartache of losing a pet so soon after getting it.
3. Ball pythons are docile, non-venomous, and don't require a lot of attention or space compared to a lot of "exotic" pets
4. It's not fair to take your own insecurities/phobias out on your daughter. Plus, at 15, she's not a child; she can handle a baby snake.
All of this^^^ except if you are afraid of it, they should respect that. Fears are no joke. I myself own a ball python however I am very afraid of catterpillars and would never have one in my house. If it's technically the ex's snake, let him keep it at his house. Burmese and Rock Pythons have given Pythons a bad name. But I feel your fear should be respected.
It's at HIS house. She IMO, it is being respected. Now, if the daugther asked to bring it to her house, that could be another story but I doubt the daughter would do such a thing.
I just edited my post, but in fairness I said let him keep it at his house prior..edited again.0 -
yes of cource the same as her, if she got a dog that bites he could also asks the judge to order the dog be kept from the presence of the child.
WHat this could also have been is the daughter could have wnated teh snake cause she knew how her mom feels about it, and the dad just wanted to make her happy dispite how he knows the mom feels about it.
children will use parents against eachother speshly those who are split.
the point is they really should co parent, I think it would be more compassionate to ask the daughter to pick a defferent pet and to honer her mother by not worrying her so much, she is the momma! her fears my be unwarrented but she is still a scared momma who feels like she has no control, the father should be more muture then that. I think
The worst thing you can do is indulge someone who's being unreasonable. It will only encourage more of the same behavior from her.
And is what you described in any way a good situation for these two families? She'll sue over the snake, he'll sue over dogs, lawyers get rich so I see the upside on your end
:bigsmile:
That "scared momma who feels like she has no control" is the problem. She needs to stop worrying about controlling every second of her children's lives, especially when they're not with her. If this were at all a dangerous situation I'd completely agree with you. But the children are almost grown, spend part of their time with their dad, and she just needs to accept that not everything in life is about her and her irrational fears.
Put your kids first. Not your fears.
well yea I do agree with you on that, if you go back and read what I wrote I sujgested she take the higher road and let her daughter choice this for herself
you are SOO right their is the pointenal for one parent to get out of control with this. they could also do the papper work themselves and not pay a dime.
all I wanted to do was make her feel like she has some control in this maybe it would make her feel better. the dad should be talking with the mom, and they should be CO parenting togther.
if the mom wanted to control tv time or nutritaional differneces, like she was a vegan and wanted tehm to be, then I would think she is stepping out of her bounds, but because her fear was excisting since the dad and mom where toghter, I just don't think it was very mature for the dad to just buy the snake knowing the mom is so scared. it would have been best fo the dad to tell her to respect her mom irational fears, then when the daughter turns 18 she could move out get a snake and let her mom live in ignorant bliss lol
and by the way in family law its not really suing thas why its not plantiff its petitioner0 -
It's amazing what fears you can put aside for your kids. I used to be very afraid of long-legged grand daddies until I was working at a day care and one crawled on on a little girl's face. I grabbed it with my bare hands!!! WHOA....but then again I have never touched one since...almost 15 years ago..lol0
-
I was really enjoying all the rational replies. And thenThats upsetting that their being so insensitive to you!
because you have joint legal you do have a say about a good deal of things that go on over there when they effect your daughter. if you want to force the issue then I sugjest you contact either a lawyer for a consultation or if you can't offord that a paralegal. if your in southern ca I know a good one who does free consultations.
Did you ever think that the husband getting a snake for his daughter MAYBE had nothing to do with the ex wife?
Yes. Hire a lawyer to sue your husband for getting a snake. The children will be thrilled and the courts have nothing better to do.
if you read the rest of my post you will see I sugjested she do somthing eles
FACT is she is the mother and has a right to what happens with her daughter, I work at my mothers paralegal beusness and see this every day, and yes a judge will listen to this and take into account all the facts. I belive I said the father MAY be acting like that to spit her,, given he knew her fear of snakes, I have a husband who deal with an ex who controls his kids, so I am not bais agains the dads at all, but she needs to know and feel that she has the right to what heppens in her daughters life
So you work at your mother's paralegal business, and you decided to start commenting on what the law is and what judges will consider in family court cases? I could be wrong here, but it seems to me that you need about 3 more years of education and bar exam.
Hey I didn't say what would happen in court, I just said she could go that way, and I brought up I work at a paralegal office to show I see this everyday, no need to get snippy mr
I'm simply stating a fact that you should be familiar with. If your state's bar rules are unfamiliar to you, then I suggest you start by reading them. And "working at your mom's paralegal business" hardly qualifies you as a subject matter expert. The type of behavior you are advocating gets attorneys in trouble with judges, and puts the legal profession in bad light to the general public.
OP (and anyone else reading this) - please speak to a qualified and reputable attorney if you have any questions about getting into a petty back and forth with your ex.0 -
I know phobias are irrational, but please don't be ridiculous. Pythons are gentle, quiet, good pets. I'd be far more concerned with a dog that bites or a cat that scratches around my kids than a snake that just chills in its tank and comes out to play nice as long as the owner knows what she's doing. I hope she has a plan for its care after she turns 18 and might go off to college?
It's not going to attack your daughter and go on a killing rampage. It might eat a rat and traumatize her with its brutality in doing so, but that's what snakes do, and a dog or cat would do the same. You need to let go.0 -
aw stop freaking out. we have a ball python and she's adorable. she only gets feisty when she's hungry but otherwise she likes to cuddle up to my husband. she'll hang out along the groove of his arm if he lays down. she doesn't bite but if a finger gets in the way when were trying to feed her she'll strike, realize her mistake and let go quick. we clean out her cage once a month, have a nice toasty heat lamp over her at all times, and aside from getting a rat once every 1-2 weeks, she keeps to herself. they only grow as big as their living environment. ours is as big as she's gonna get, and the fattest part of her body is about 1 1/2 times the size of the circumference of a can of Red Bull.0
-
My advice is to calm the f down. Plenty of people have snakes as pets and have survived, these don't get as large as some of the other pythons. Just ask them that the snake be kept at his house and leave it at that, our irrational fears shouldn't belong to our children.0
-
If its kept at his house then theres no issue here. Its his responsibility and not your concern what he does in his own house. What would you say if was trying to tell you what you couldnt and could have in your own home?0
-
I have 5 1/2 foot ball python, I also have a 5 pound dog and other pets. I have had 3 years olds hold her, I would suggest reading up on them to make yourself feel more secure.
They are very timid, kind and nice pets, a dog is more likely to hurt then a python. I have had mine for 10 years and have had her since she was tiny tiny tiny. Never has bitten anyone, or harmed anything.
The snake wont be able to eat anything larger than maybe a rat lol so no human gobbling I swear!0 -
I was really enjoying all the rational replies. And thenThats upsetting that their being so insensitive to you!
because you have joint legal you do have a say about a good deal of things that go on over there when they effect your daughter. if you want to force the issue then I sugjest you contact either a lawyer for a consultation or if you can't offord that a paralegal. if your in southern ca I know a good one who does free consultations.
Did you ever think that the husband getting a snake for his daughter MAYBE had nothing to do with the ex wife?
Yes. Hire a lawyer to sue your husband for getting a snake. The children will be thrilled and the courts have nothing better to do.
if you read the rest of my post you will see I sugjested she do somthing eles
FACT is she is the mother and has a right to what happens with her daughter, I work at my mothers paralegal beusness and see this every day, and yes a judge will listen to this and take into account all the facts. I belive I said the father MAY be acting like that to spit her,, given he knew her fear of snakes, I have a husband who deal with an ex who controls his kids, so I am not bais agains the dads at all, but she needs to know and feel that she has the right to what heppens in her daughters life
So you work at your mother's paralegal business, and you decided to start commenting on what the law is and what judges will consider in family court cases? I could be wrong here, but it seems to me that you need about 3 more years of education and bar exam.
Hey I didn't say what would happen in court, I just said she could go that way, and I brought up I work at a paralegal office to show I see this everyday, no need to get snippy mr
I'm simply stating a fact that you should be familiar with. If your state's bar rules are unfamiliar to you, then I suggest you start by reading them. And "working at your mom's paralegal business" hardly qualifies you as a subject matter expert. The type of behavior you are advocating gets attorneys in trouble with judges, and puts the legal profession in bad light to the general public.
OP (and anyone else reading this) - please speak to a qualified and reputable attorney if you have any questions about getting into a petty back and forth with your ex.
Attorneys love back and forth...I know mine charged $175 per telephone call...Just sneak in the house and let the snake go...unless you're in Florida. (joking)0 -
1. Ball pythons don't get that big. They're one of the "smaller" snakes in the pet trade.
2. they're much hardier than bearded dragons and withstand captivity well, so your daughter won't likely suffer the same disappointment/heartache of losing a pet so soon after getting it.
3. Ball pythons are docile, non-venomous, and don't require a lot of attention or space compared to a lot of "exotic" pets
4. It's not fair to take your own insecurities/phobias out on your daughter. Plus, at 15, she's not a child; she can handle a baby snake.
Couldn't have said it better myself.0 -
This, she's not 5, she's 15 and it's awesome she doesn't have a fear that paralyzes her Mother, be grateful for that!!
4. It's not fair to take your own insecurities/phobias out on your daughter. Plus, at 15, she's not a child; she can handle a baby snake.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.9K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 399 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 985 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions