Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH

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Replies

  • littlebre33
    littlebre33 Posts: 318
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.


    Firstly, i would kick my husbands *kitten* :) then I would speak with him and find what is really causing this and how you need him to be supportive. I agree with what is stated about. My husband is the same as yours when it comes to being fit and active and can eat ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! In the end I buy food I need to eat and then buy food that I know he likes (which aren't the healthiest) but at the end of the day, I am trying to work on myself and not him. One thing though, is that I make it clear to him that if I am to cook (which I mainly do) that he will either eat what I make or HE can make his own dinner- I am not some cook at a restaurant!
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

    not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to :)
    If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.

    i didnt say that you said that. i said in my house, my eating habits WILL BE FORCED ON EVERYONE ELSE, because im not a waitress, and i dont cook to order... i make a meal, and thats it, they can either eat it, or starve. thier choice. that was my point. im not going to buy junk, when im trying to eat healthy. and i dare him to bring junk in to my house...

    oh my lord, you are a terrible woman and you should feel bad
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

    not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to :)

    In my house, my husband and kids make their own foods if they don't like what I make. And I buy foods they like so they have the choice to eat what they like. I do not own or control them.
  • PaleoPath4Lyfe
    PaleoPath4Lyfe Posts: 3,161 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
    not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to :)
    If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.
    i didnt say that you said that. i said in my house, my eating habits WILL BE FORCED ON EVERYONE ELSE, because im not a waitress, and i dont cook to order... i make a meal, and thats it, they can either eat it, or starve. thier choice. that was my point. im not going to buy junk, when im trying to eat healthy. and i dare him to bring junk in to my house...

    Wow, either your husband is a spineless man that loves being mothered or you are an evil woman. I am sure your husband contributes to the household either solely or in some percentage.............put yourself in his shoes. How would YOU feel if someone was telling you what you were going to eat, end of story and to say I dare you to bring junk food into the house, is just WOW.......I am speechless.

    The bolded part...............I feel sorry for your husband and children.
    Wow, you're quite the catch, aren't you? I can tell you one thing for sure, if my wife EVER referred to OUR house as HER house, she would very soon be sending me child support payments. Marriage is a two way relationship, you sound ridiculously selfish and self absorbed. You're right though, you're not a waitress, just a selfish dictator. Don't worry, though, your husband and kids will be thoroughly resenting you soon enough for making everything in life only about your wants and needs, and completely ignoring theirs. I'm sure that will work out fine for making them into normal, well adjusted people...

    Word on this comment, especially the bolded area............

    Now honestly I can say that I did nag and tease my husband about his eating habits, but I still bought my husband his junk food and things that he wanted to eat until he recently decided that he wanted to clean up his eating to a more healthy way of eating.
  • Dulcemami4ever
    Dulcemami4ever Posts: 344 Member
    An active, healthy guy plays along for months with your "health food" approach and he's finally had enough? No surprise there.

    ... if he was doing his share of the cooking, then yeah, maybe. But it sounds like she's doing all the cooking and shopping, so if he wants certain foods and she doesn't, maybe he should get off his hole and make it himself.




    Perhaps thats because he is the one that is working at the moment? I'm sorry but if my husband is the only one working, then I would atleast try to make things that please him. No you are not a waitress or chef but who the hell thinks that way when you get married? If he works all day, he should be able to come home and eat something he enjoys. I feel bad for the husbands of the ladies who keep saying well then he can make his own food if he doesn't like what I make!!! Well then perhaps you can also make your own money.
  • Fat_2_Fit_Mommy
    Fat_2_Fit_Mommy Posts: 569 Member
    Wow!! First off I have to say is wrong of him why he did.because he just got mad over food and thats just waste of money. I mean I buy food for everyone. if my husband wants cokes he can have them but I don't drink them. I think of others like I buy a couple of junk food like chips, cookies, and ice cream. But majority in my grocery basket is healthy items. Maybe buy things that HE likes alsoand maybe he just wanted you to splurge a little. My husband does that and it never messed me up but than again he wouldn't get mad if I said no he'll just be like come on just try one or take a bite that's it. But it never stop my progress and its not ALL the time.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Yea, this advice wouldn't fly in my house. I pay for the groceries, do most of the grocery shopping, and the majority of the cooking. I buy and cook what I want, although I include things I know he likes. (For instance, buffalo chicken lasagna is lower calorie and one of his favs.) However, if he wants crap and through out my groceries- he would be shopping for himself.

    Off-Topic: Can I get the recipe for that buffalo chicken lasagna??

    Me too?
  • grandmakaye44
    grandmakaye44 Posts: 1,205 Member
    I'm not saying that I support the behaviour, BUT I am 68 years old, have raised a large family, and been married to the same man for nearly 48 years. I wouldn't dream of expecting everyone to eat what I eat! Just saying.
  • glittersamsara
    glittersamsara Posts: 6 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

    not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to :)
    If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.

    i didnt say that you said that. i said in my house, my eating habits WILL BE FORCED ON EVERYONE ELSE, because im not a waitress, and i dont cook to order... i make a meal, and thats it, they can either eat it, or starve. thier choice. that was my point. im not going to buy junk, when im trying to eat healthy. and i dare him to bring junk in to my house...

    That's actually quite a rude and horrible response! If you really would divorce someone over that then the foundation of your marriage isn't very strong! By the way: a waitress doesn't cook.

    OP: My husband isn't dieting or exercising (the skinny bastid), and is completely supportive of changing our eating habits, but he still likes to have treats or food I can't have because of my allergies - milk, toast, pop, biscuits, cookies, etc. So I buy skim milk AND soy milk, bread AND corn tortillas, pop AND diet pop. I sometimes bring him a treat home. And he's started eating loads more fruit and veg as well, so we all win.

    It's about compromising and willpower. What is the point in changing your habits if you don't change your mindset, if food is *temptation*? The way he reacted was horribly childlike, though, so that's definitely something you should talk about.
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
    I'm not going to bash the woman who says that she rules the house. Not the first relationship I've seen that way, and for some people it works just fine.

    As for the OP, there's a problem.

    First, that her husband held in something that was obviously bothering him for some time if it made him blow up that way. Possibly he was goaded on by others about his 'manhood', just a guess since I've seen grown men behave this way.

    To me, the OP needs to sit down and talk with her husband to figure out what the heck is up and find a compromise.

    She should be able to have what she wants... but so should he.
  • bella_babe_86
    bella_babe_86 Posts: 503 Member
    My biggest issue with this entire post is SO many people saying just because she does not have a "job" that recieves a pay check she doesn't work! Have y'all ever tried to run a household with children and a husband? It's not easy, its a 24-7 job with no breaks, no sick days and no vacation. My day starts at 5 in the morning when I get up to work out and make hubby breakfast and it ends at 10:30-12 when the dishes are finally put away and my 4 year old is in bed, its not a 40 hour a week job that I get to come home from and relax. I think alot of you under estimate us stay at home moms.
  • Kimdbro
    Kimdbro Posts: 922 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

    not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to :)

    ^^ ^^ Exactly what she said.... to the first poster saying she's forcing him to eat healthy.... I think not! She's ISN'T his waitress, he is a full grown man capable of making his own dinner if he isn't liking the one she is making. He doesn't own her and isn't her Dad. By the very fact that he came in with Nacho's proves he's capable of eating what he wants, what he did was try to force HER to eat like he does, which is wrong. Throwing out the healthy food, slapping his card down and demanding that good food be there by the time he gets home is abusive and controlling. He didn't offer to go buy the food himself. This is a red flag man, and if she doesn't stand up for herself she will be in for a future of abuse and control. Good for her for staying strong and in control of her own food choices.
  • andreanicole686
    andreanicole686 Posts: 406 Member
    Oh hell no. I would seriously kick a man out if he threw my food out. That is real food. He's just use to crappy fake salty food. I would have him sleeping somewhere else.
  • G30Grrl
    G30Grrl Posts: 377 Member
    the next thing that would be getting thrown out is him, then I'd slap him with his own shoe and say "I want a better man by the time I get back"

    ^^This!
  • SoozeE512
    SoozeE512 Posts: 439 Member
    I'm not married, but it seems to me that you both need to discuss your eating habits and find some sort of a compromise. You may have been ready for a total transformation in your eating habits, but clearly he wasn't. As much as it's not fair to you that he got rid of all of your food (pretty childish if you ask me), it also wasn't fair to him for you to completely cut him off from the way of eating he enjoyed.

    Ask him to go shopping with you so you find a way to balance both of your needs, or try to find healthier ways to prepare the 'unhealthy' foods that you both used to enjoy.
  • septembersully
    septembersully Posts: 2
    i agree.... smack him with a large shoe!!
  • babydiego87
    babydiego87 Posts: 905 Member
    the next thing that would be getting thrown out is him, then I'd slap him with his own shoe and say "I want a better man by the time I get back"
    THIS!

    What the ****? He needs to know his role, and if he wants to eat all that junk, he can go and buy his damned self and cook it his damn self too. SMH.
  • LPDLPD
    LPDLPD Posts: 25
    Unless you are full of money, remind him how much money worth of food he threw away. Keep up your healthy eating and he will eventually come around (hopefully) You are doing a good thing for the BOTH of you!
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

    I agree with this - why force him to change his eating habits? I had to do this without my hubby on board - he supports me, but wants to eat and drink what he wants. It makes it more challening, but it is totally possible!
  • essicagoddess
    essicagoddess Posts: 9 Member
    Spouses/significant others have been known to sabotage ones eating successes cause they have a fear, conscious or unconscious, that you might go find someone better than them once you are feeling really good about yourself.

    Can't tell you what to do, you have to ultimately make that decision, and I don't know you...but my gut is saying run for the hills....it ain't getting better.
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
    Hmmmm.....well he needs to be more supportive for YOU. He should be happy you want to eat healthy and live a healthy life. On the otherhand, he shouldn't have to be on the diet with you. You know what I mean? Buy his sodas, snacks, ect that he likes. Yes, it will probably be a huge challenge for you to have that stuff in the house but he shouldnt have to suffer. It sounds like you do all the grocery shopping? I guess maybe if you buy stuff for him even though its not healthy it may make him happy. Mrs Dash? I love Mrs. Dash. But, throw a little salt in the flippin food if it makes him happy. It can't hurt you that bad. Or "pretend" to put salt in there. LOL, like you do for kids. But he should be happy you are wanting to eat healthy and he SHOULD NOT be mad at you because you dont want to eat crap food! But, again I believe he should be able to have his "foods" in the house as well.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

    ^^^ This! Unless you have horrible self control... why not keep some things he likes in the house... and you don't have to cook two meals... just portion some of it out for you and put salt in his.
  • Run4UrHealth
    Run4UrHealth Posts: 348 Member
    He would shop and cook his own meals if he did not like what I bought or cooked! I will work with my kids but not a grown man!
  • AfreezeAdventure
    AfreezeAdventure Posts: 23 Member
    I have a similar situation at home except the opposite. My fiance buys organic -almost-vegan food..and doesn't take into consideration the healthy foods I enjoy.

    My suggestion is, if you're going to do YOUR diet, you shouldn't force your husband to follow the same guidelines.

    the attitude in these forums are "THIS PERSON SHOULD SUPPORT ME"....when realistically you should be supporting each other.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I buy the food that I eat and ask my husband what he wants. We have a grocery list, if it's on the list it's purchased. If he wants whole milk then buy him whole milk and buy yourself whatever he wants. WTH is wrong with salt? I'd throw out your Mrs. Dash too. Also, what's your definition of healthy food? Most things that are specifically made to be fat free tend to have added sugar and be less satisfying. Maybe you both need to rethink this process. I'm not saying that it's okay that he threw everything out, I'm just saying that I cooked a whole chicken last night and used butter to brown it.
  • BogQueen1
    BogQueen1 Posts: 320 Member
    Buy him his pop and junk food. Just don't eat them. Eat the healthy stuff you buy yourself. It's not difficult. You can't force someone to eat healthier.

    Although I will say whenever the SO decides to start complaining about what food is in the house, I always tell him that if he wants something different, he's more then welcome to go to the store himself and purchase said item. Since he hates the grocery store, that normally shuts him right up.
  • cuinboston2014
    cuinboston2014 Posts: 848 Member
    There's a lot that could go into this depending on your husband. Some guys like their women a certain way so he might just want you EXACTLY how you are - even if you aren't happy with yourself. If that's the case then you guys need to communicate on that. Or why is he being like this? Is he insecure that you are going to be in better shape than him? :) There's a reason for his behavior.

    Someone else also mentioned trying to cook things he likes. There are lots of healthier versions of just about any fatty favorite. Try and cook those up some night without telling him they are healthier options and see how he likes it.

    If he doesn't like that - then you can take other people's suggestions of kicking his butt! lol

    Good luck!

    P.S. I kind of wish sometimes my boyfriend was like this - I go to eat a candy heart and he says "Is this helpful in your goals? Does this help your marathon training?" WELL NO BUT I WANT TO EAT!
  • lovemykids58
    lovemykids58 Posts: 195 Member
    I buy all the food, do all the cooking. If my husband doesent like it he is welcome to buy and make his own food. :smile:
  • fat_destroza
    fat_destroza Posts: 11 Member
    I can understand that! At first my husband was supportive and to be honest I think is was because he didn't take me seriously when I told him I was going to lose weight.

    I am married to a chubby chaser lol, but he is skin and bones himself. I have been on this journey since October and when he seen that I was serious about weight loss, he was pissed. I told him to either like it or love it because I'm going to do it.

    I think maybe he was threatened by the fact that I'm changing, Maybe men feel they will be left behind when their woman loses weight. To me they should be proud!

    Anyway I fix his meals separate from mine. I am use to my healthy lifestyle and on occasions I will give into the pizza, but besides that no one is going to stop me on my journey to become a happier, healthier me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • PaleoPath4Lyfe
    PaleoPath4Lyfe Posts: 3,161 Member
    tell him this is for u and not him! Tell him to quit being so damn selfish. What an ultra douche! No worries, I had to put my husband in check. What is fricken funny is how he has managed to lose 45 pounds and me only 15 but he's finally getting the concept...m lol...

    WOW, him being selfish?????????????????????

    She is the one being selfish by forcing her way of eating on him when he didn't ask to eat that way.

    Most of you live in some self absorbed warped mentality to think that he is being the selfish one.

    He didn't handle it in the correct manner, but dang when someone has had enough, sometimes you just have to snap on people.

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