Left Handed Compliment. Who's getting them....
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I have not had any personal experiences with this but I did have to field questions about my dad who lost 60 pounds through diet and exercise. People were always pulling me aside and asking if he was sick, or had cancer, or had an eating disorder. Well I've seen my dad eat, and man he EATS. It's just the good stuff that he eats. I've seen him put away a TON of food (fruits, vegetables, etc). I think overall these back handed compliments come from other people's own insecurity about their body image. They feel like they need to pull you down to justify their own poor eating choices. That's probably a bit judgmental, but there ya go.0
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Wow! I guess I am lucky enough to be surrounded by wonderful, supportive people. I have gotten the occasional "don't get too skinny", "you're done losing, right" comments but I'm 5'4" and 188 pounds. Nope, not done losing. Another poster had it right on when they said that these comments mostly come from people that are jealous, not of our body, but of our mindset and the ability to take control of our lives.0
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Kinda. I've lost almost 34 pounds now and I've been working out like crazy. So I basically don't have much weight other then my upper thighs and OHGOsh the stomach. So now instead of people just thinking I'm fat. I keep getting how many months are you. Ugh it makes me feel terrible. Unless someone is in hard labor and you can see the head please stop asking if someone is pregnant.0
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As a left hander I am offended by the term...
ETA: and I think you meant back handed compliment... :happy:
lol. I'm sure that's what she meant. That's funny though!0 -
I too have gotten the "You have lost weight, you look great" --- hmmmm....did I NOT look great before?!?! I know they are trying to compliment but still.......0
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Ugh... lately I've been disturbed by people saying things like "you better not lose any more weight!"
Excuse me, you don't even know how much I weigh. And... just because I'm still eating better and exercising does NOT mean that I'm trying to "lose more weight". Maybe I trying to maintain my weight loss or (gasp!) gain muscle.
I know people don't mean anything by it, but I still think it's rude. I wouldn't say "you better not gain any more weight" to anyone, would I??
I get this a lot too. They start by saying something nice like "wow you've lost a lot of weight." and then something like "you better be done, you don't want to be to skinny."
WTF people. I still weigh 230 pounds, give or take, and I'm hitting the weights to get rid of the left over fat and add on some muscle. I do believe it is straight up jealousy. Not that I look that great, but they wish they had the mind set to do it themselves.
This is the one that I heard most, too. A "friend" said to me "people our age don't look good if we get too skinny". Seriously??0 -
Bump0
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When I lost 40 pounds after a divorce, I'd say about 5 people in my life said they were concerned that I was on drugs. I was like, "Um, no. It's called exercising more and eating less -- and also grieving the divorce makes you lose your appetite a little." Jeesh!0
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When I really started to lose weight, at about 45 pounds down, my residents at work started asking me if my cancer had returned and if I was undergoing chemo...
Nope, cancer is still in remission, I'm just losing weight to get healthy.
Why? Did your boyfriend threaten to dump you if you didn't get hot?
Ugh... I just said no and walked away from that one.
Holy CRAP that's so rude!!! I would've lost my mind with the boyfriend comment...and yay about your cancer being in remission!0 -
You're pretty... for a girl.
Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to compliment OP was I?0 -
Wow! I can't believe you all have been experiencing the same reactions that I have received. When I was overweight, people would make comments. Now that I've lost weight, then ask if I've been ill; if I am having difficulty with stress; they tell me that I'm too thin (I'm not. I happen to be at the exact weight my doctor said was ideal for my height and age.); and that I don't look well. At first I was shocked. Now I just let those comments go, because I feel good and I think I look better. And no one makes jokes about me being overweight anymore.
Its also seems odd to me that the person we would expect to be most understanding and caring about such things, our mothers, often seem to be the most critical.0 -
Don't lose too much weight because you will lose your boobs!! WHAT?? I'd rather be fit and healthy than have big boobs! If it gets too bad I can always buy some!0
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Just today I was telling someone about MFP and how I'd already lost 21 lbs since the beginning of January. They said "you don't look like you've lost anything since the last time I saw you" (before I started MFP) so I showed him a pic of me at my heaviest around the end of Nov 2012 and he says "Oh, I never realized you were that big because you have such a pretty face!"
Um...thanks? No.0 -
On a more serious note. I was a fat teenager. Lost 80lbs when I hit adulthood. For years people would come to me or my family and be like: You poor thing. You're so sickly. What do you have?
One woman went so far as to start telling anyone who would listen that I had a terrible illness. *rolls eyes*0 -
My hairdresser asked me why I was so dressed up. I wasn't dressed up, I had just lost some weight, but apparently she thought I was fat AND a slob. ROFL!0
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As a left hander I am offended by the term...
ETA: and I think you meant back handed compliment... :happy:
lol. I'm sure that's what she meant. That's funny though!
I know... I just wanted to jump on the "I'm offended" bandwagon for a second and see how I liked it...
As far as back handed compliments though... I know I have gotten a few, but I couldn't remember them if I tried... I usually laugh them off and say "thanks" and move on...0 -
My mother-in-law is the QUEEN of backhanded complements/passive agressive! She LOVES to tell me how incredibly fat she was as a 20-something and how she was this whale of a person at a size 12... That's my current size after being a 18-20 for most of my 20's!!! She clips weight loss articles and buys weight watchers magazines for me, tells me my friends are "cute girls but could stand to lose a few" and every single time I drop a few pounds, she tells me I look tired and offers me a glass of wine.0
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My face is longish and always "skinnier"...I actually had a friend tell me not to lose any more weight from my face! WTH...i'm BOTTOM heavy....it'll go from where it goes from...EVENTUALLY maybe it will go from my thighs and butt Really though!0
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" Did you and your boyfriend break up? Your face doesn't look as chubby. "
I would smack the person who said this!0 -
My mother-in-law is the QUEEN of backhanded complements/passive agressive! She LOVES to tell me how incredibly fat she was as a 20-something and how she was this whale of a person at a size 12... That's my current size after being a 18-20 for most of my 20's!!! She clips weight loss articles and buys weight watchers magazines for me, tells me my friends are "cute girls but could stand to lose a few" and every single time I drop a few pounds, she tells me I look tired and offers me a glass of wine.
I am so happy I don't have a MIL!0
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