He told me he was embarrassed of me while I was pregnant!
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No matter why you are thinking of staying don't. No matter what obstacles there might be...financial..worrying about what ifs.. feeling scared.... afraid to be alone...that there may be nonone who will love you...Get these thoughtsvout of your head.
EVERYTHING will be okay if you at least move out and tskecsome time. IN TIME you will be better than today. You..the kids should be treated so much better.......give yourself some space and time...but don't stay like this.0 -
this breaks my heart0
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if you stay with him it will be child abuse and because you are allowing your kids to be around that then you are just as guilty as he is, think of your kids and get out.0
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He is nothing but a big bully. If your children were older and in relationships like this, I can GUARANTEE 100% you would be telling them to get out of what is quite obviously an extremely septic situation. Get out and save yourself and you children from this NASTY man.
:noway:0 -
what an *kitten*! no one deserves to be talked down to like that. work on loving yourself and you will realize that you are far better than him!! it may be hard at first and it will not be easy! however, when you love yourself, no one can bring you down. not even him.0
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This has nothing at all to do with your weight, or your body, or even, really, your choice of partner. This has everything to do with your own mentality.
When you fall in love with a guy like this, it's understandable that you think he's oh-so-fantastic. The first few times he insults you, you brush it off as a bad day, and try to make him happy. You make little changes for Mr. Fantastic. Then he insults you some more, and you start to believe it. This is clearly the point you have reached. You somehow believe that your Mr. Fantastic is right, and you are a fat, ugly, PoS. WRONG!
You do not know how wrong you are, and you won't fingure it out until long after he is in your rearview mirror. Whatever your reason for staying, consider this: You now have two children that are learning from this guy. Two children that he will also train to believe they are less than their true worth. Two children who, if you stay with this guy, will grow up to be victims just like you.
Don't be his victim. Don't let your children be his victims. GTFO. Now.
Worry about your health once you take care of this infinitely more critical detail of your life.0 -
You have a child with him, you can't get rid of him - ever. But you can control how often he is able to make you feel "less of a person". Decide to put yourself first, he already has put himself before you, something that will most likely never change and its very seldom an *kitten* becomes a Knight in Shining armor. He has served his purpose, move along. Being alone isnt as bad as being with a person that makes you feel less than human.
Seek counseling for self esteem, confidance, lose the weight, become a sexy hot soccer mom, and when he comes to pick the kid up for visitations, dress like you OWN IT, then ignore him. Cut him lose, and Find yourself!!!0 -
I grew up in abussive home and to say it damaged me is an understatement, I have battled drug addiction, over eating, self estem issues, obessidy,and my ability to trust people. Please think about your kids and what they will go through if you decide to stay.
If you decide to put up with the abuse that is your choice but your kids have say.0 -
Is this for real???0
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You are just the type of woman selfish, insensitive, egotistical men like him prey on because you're easy targets. Your previous failed relationship combined with your stubborn refusal to even contemplate leaving him all indicate a deeply insecure woman.
I do not know him so I won't bad mouth him further but suffice it to say from what you've already said, he doesn't treat you very well. His comments about your weight are most assuredly NOT coming from a good place as there are far kinder, gentler ways of saying he wants you to lose weight without calling you an embarrassment and telling your the cruel things his family are saying behind your back.
I'll tell you what's going to happen. If you're lucky and determined, you'll lose the weight, get down to your goal and he'll somehow still find fault with you. He'll probably leave, or worse, cheat and you'll be a broken (yet thinner) mess.
Do you really want your children to grow up in a verbally abusive environment? Think of the kinds of lessons you'll be teaching them?
No, the pain will still be there. I've lost nearly 60lbs since the fall and the hurtful comments people made have still stuck with me. I can't even comprehend a compliment, let alone accept that they might be true. You'll be miserable and his words will always remain in the back of your mind.0 -
Once upon a time, a man I seeing made fun of my weight when I was already at a seriously low spot in my life. I haven't seen him in forever but, if I did I'd probably set him on fire... :explode: ... You don't get over **** like that.
WORD!
Totally true!0 -
Why are you with this *kitten*?
Why can't you leave? Pack up your stuff, grab your children and go. As long as you don't leave the area you are fine.
Why do you want to stay? Why do you want to change yourself for someone who is like that? Why do you want to put up with that and teach your children this kind of a relationship and abuse is ok?
Get out... don't look back.. just leave.
^^^ This. I totally don't understand why you've already resigned yourself to living this way for the rest of your life. I haven't read all of the comments, but I won't apologize if I'm reiterating what others have said, because the truth is - you need to hear it repeatedly, from multiple people. Maybe then (and I hope so) - it will sink in.
To be blunt (because I don't know any other way to be), he's an *kitten*. Any man who says and does the things that this man is doing/saying to you is not worth your time. He is an immature little boy who gets off on having control over women. It is up to YOU to not let him control you. You CAN get out. You CAN leave. You CAN make a better life for yourself and your children. This man is bad news. Trust me. Things will only get worse if you stay.
You need to believe in the fact that you are a beautiful woman and that you and your children deserve better. Staying in an abusive relationship is unhealthy not only for you, but especially for the kids. Please rethink your decision.0 -
Oh, sweety, I am so sorry you are hurting. Just listen to those who wrote here about abuse, this might be just the beginning. My ex use to say I was fat, that I had no boobs, ugly feet and so on. When I tried to leave him, he tried to hit me with his car, stalked me, threatened me and even hit me. I went through hell until my father "had a word" with him, but 8 years later found me on Facebook and I had to delete my account. There was no way for me to have a baby with that man, I would've been in danger.
Do you see where I am going with this? Believe me, the beauty is not in the extra pounds, to be beautiful you should be warm at heart. And I sense your heart is very warm.
You can add me as friend for support and message me when you need someone to talk to.
Hugs.0 -
As you lose the weight you will gain confidence. You will start to see yourself in a whole new light. Take care of you right now and in the end you will come to the conclusion that you really are too good for him. You may be able to try and turn a blind eye now but in time it will eat away at you. You will never forgive him and what he has done. A relationship like this is toxic and not only does it affect you but your children. Do you really want to teach your son that it is ok to treat women like this? Forever is a really long time. Do you see yourself on twin scooters side by side holding hands riding into the sunset because that is who your "forever" should be. I wish you the best of luck! Take care of you and the rest will fall into place.0
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It's not very smart of you to stay with someone like this. Take your baby and your 3 year old and get out of there.
If your children are around to witness this verbal abuse, they may grow up to think it's normal and possibly do it to their future spouses. You wouldn't want that would you? It's not a healthy home for you or the babies0 -
You need to live a better life for yourself. You can't have your children grow up in that type of household.0
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I'm so sorry you are going through this. But, you are fooling yourself if you think there is hope for this relationship. Kick him to the gutter where he belongs. And focus that attention on yourself and your children.
RUN, DON'T WALK!
This. Sorry to say
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losing weight will not solve that problem with him........... you need to do it for all the right reasons.
im sorry that has happned to you.0 -
Lose weight the right way and do not do a full on juice.
However, if you want to lose the weight than do it. He is just a jack *kitten* to you. You deserve better.
Run out of this situation. Do not stay in a situation that is abuse. Isn't good for you, nor the children. He doesn't deserve to be the father.0 -
I'm very sorry that your going through this, and I agree with the others about him.
PLEASE keep in mind what your children are going to see as normal with your relationship. I grew up in a messed up family and then married an abusive ahole it didn't stop until I finally put my foot down and said no more.
My ex could be your husbands twin!
Don't put yourself through this, the weight will not stay off when you are doing it under these conditions, it's not healthy psychically or emotionally.0 -
I am sorry you are going through such a horrible relationship and also that you feel stuck. Let me share my story with you.
I was in your shoes 34 years ago, except I was just married about a month when I found out I was expecting.
I will also tell you that the day after we married we moved 5 hours away from where we were ... a new city ... no friends (only his family), and he accused me of having an affair and that child was not his. He tried talking me into aborting my child and I refused.
For 9 months he didn't touch me, sex was out, and my heart was broken.
Fast forward 3 months after my son was born my husband came home and asked for a divorce. I knew the relationship was over the day he told me I was aborting my child, so it was a no brainer for me.
Fast forward about 2 or 3 years. I took my son over to his dad's one day, but not before getting all decked out in my cutest dress, hair done and makeup on. I was looking good, I had finally lost the weight I had gain while preggers and actually more. When I got home my phone was ringing and it was my ex ... and his words I will never forget: "If I had known you would have lost all that weight and looked this good again I would have never left you." My response: It is for that very reason you'll never have me again.
The point of this story ... its time to seriously kick this dude to the curb. He has no love or respect for you and YOU CAN DO BETTER!0 -
This has nothing at all to do with your weight, or your body, or even, really, your choice of partner. This has everything to do with your own mentality.
When you fall in love with a guy like this, it's understandable that you think he's oh-so-fantastic. The first few times he insults you, you brush it off as a bad day, and try to make him happy. You make little changes for Mr. Fantastic. Then he insults you some more, and you start to believe it. This is clearly the point you have reached. You somehow believe that your Mr. Fantastic is right, and you are a fat, ugly, PoS. WRONG!
You do not know how wrong you are, and you won't fingure it out until long after he is in your rearview mirror. Whatever your reason for staying, consider this: You now have two children that are learning from this guy. Two children that he will also train to believe they are less than their true worth. Two children who, if you stay with this guy, will grow up to be victims just like you.
Don't be his victim. Don't let your children be his victims. GTFO. Now.
Worry about your health once you take care of this infinitely more critical detail of your life.0 -
HHHhhhMMMMmmm..... For some reason I am NOT imagining him to be some sexy super stud when naked, or clothed for that matter.... Life is to short for EITHER of you to feel as if you're settling for less than you WANT. Let him know NOT to be a penny looking for a dime! I'm certain with his disgusting inner ugliness he is NOT a real hot item on the list of other ladies Wanting him! Smile, laugh, enjoy & move on!0
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Lol! I smiled when I read your post! After 7 years my sweetheart & I find that together compared to MOST couples we are pretty damned AWESOME!!! We would NEVER treat (allow) anyone especially each other to speak like that to us and then have the balls to call it love.... lol I gave my man a extra hug tonight & told him he what a beautiful man he is!0
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You know what's worse than being alone? Being in a relationship with someone but still feeling completely lonely and alone.
I say you get rid of this douche bag and start respecting yourself more. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Don't let the *kitten* treat you like ****.0 -
with all that mental abuse; it will be real hard to get pass that. when a person loses weight they really need to do it for themselves. i started at 217 lbs,and i know how you feel. becareful how you start as the body hangs onto fat thinking your starving it self. all men want to have a gorgeous woman on their arm; it's just the way they are., but no one has the right to say nasty things to you spouse, fiance,or whatever they are too you. i eat 6 times a day. breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack, workout, snack. i eat so much i'm tired of eating. i't's truly about what you eat and. how much you eat. i weigh everything and measure everything. if you are interested in my diet plan that consists of 1200 calories a day. i will give it to you.. take care,and keep your head up...44lbs down from it now. 0 -
I'd say you could do better not the other way around.0
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I figure that you can be sad, miserable, and unhappy on your own OP, so why do you need another person to do it for you? A person who would take what is clearly a sensitive subject for any person and try to use it as a tool to hurt will only do more of the same. Take control of your life OP. You can't hope to lose and keep off weight if you don't first take your life in your hands.
Also what an effing tool.0 -
First thing you need to work on is why what you think of yourself is based on what some jerk says about you.
Don't you have your own opinions of yourself other than the garbage other people have fed you???
One part of me wants to tell you to punch him in the head for being an idiot, pack your bags, grab your kids and leave.
The other part of me wants to tell you that history is going to just repeat itself with the next guy you're with as this seems to be a pattern for you. The REASON you end up with abusive jackwagons is because your own opinion of yourself is atrocious. Stop the cycle, hmm?
Do yourself a favor, and get healthy and strong for yourself and for your children instead of for some jerk, whether he's the father of any of your kids or not.
Much as I'd like to blame him (and he does carry his part of the blame, for sure, just for being a self-absorbed, abusive jackwagon), the bigger part of this rests squarely on your shoulders, and nobody can fix that except you. If we're constantly down on ourselves, other people will end up feeding into that and reinforce it because the negative is all we "hear" and respond to. Fix your internal filter system. Get counseling for yourself would be my advice, and get your head on straight.
Calling a pregnant woman fat. The nerve! Let's see him carry a baby for 9 months and then squeeze it out of his pee pee. Go ahead, tough guy. Seriously?? :mad:0 -
Has anyone called troll yet?0
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