He told me he was embarrassed of me while I was pregnant!

I grew up in abussive home and to say it damaged me is an understatement, I have battled drug addiction, over eating, self estem issues, obessidy,and my ability to trust people. Please think about your kids and what they will go through if you decide to stay.
If you decide to put up with the abuse that is your choice but your kids have say.

I left him back in oct of 2012. I went to the court house and was going to fill out papers for custody. I walked in and saw his mother there. She had gone to court the morning after I had thrown her son out of the house. She told the court that I was a unstable mother due to the fact I was on post pardom meds and that I work 40 hrs a week and she could take better care of my children because she was a stay at home mom. She then told the courts that my home was unfit for children and that I ABUSED AND NEGLECTED MY CHILDREN. None of this was true but it later came out that she had told the court all of those things to make me "wake up" and that my children deserved better and that they deserved two parents in a household. DCYF has been involved and has done a investigation and all of her alligations have been proven false. Because she filled for a emergency petition for guardianship the courts granted her not only temp custody of my 3 mo old at the time but of my three yr old wich is no blood relation to her. I had to go to court 4 days later and I was granted custody of my children back due to the fact that she had no proof of any of her allegations. Every time I think Im going to leave his mother gets involved somehow and Im always in fear. She later admitted what she did wasnt right but she didnt want my kids growning up without her son. SOME GRANDMOTHER SHE IS. Ive been in and out of court several times and they have granted mostly in my favor. But it still comes down to the fact that every time I leave him she reports that Im either neglecting my children or that Im not doing something right. She accidentaly sent me a text which she was sending to everyone she knew apparently.. That I was ****ed in the head for switching bottle nipples and then made fun of my breasts and wrote " Is this what her tits look like? No wonder why he wasnt happy with her" Simply because she had bought all of the bottles and nipples and I chose not to use them due to My sons bad gas.. I was trying a different bottle. If he sneezes or coughs once around her she says " Im not his mother but I think he should be seen" Then she tells the dcyf investigator that Im neglecting him... Ive worked at a daycare for 8 yrs.. Ive brought him to the doctor 8 times in 2 and a half months. His mother is crazy.... As long as I stay with her son she doesnt do anything. I cant afford another $1300 lawyered up court date. I own my own home and car.. I pay all the bills.. Leaving him isnt the problem. Leaving him and not having his mother lie to take my children away is the problem. Im trying to save a relationship.. a family... trying to avoid court and more undeserved pain. WHY DOES HE HATE ME SINCE IVE GOTN PREGNANT and Had his child?

I'm sorry I missed this before I replied - and I'm sorry for what you are going through.
This is family violence. You need a lawyer on your side. You need domestic violence services on your side. You are being held hostage, and this will be difficult, and there will probably be days when it seems like court or police are looking at you like you're the problem, or like this is just some kind of spat. BUT YOU ARE BEING HELD HOSTAGE WITH YOUR CHILDREN. Find a counsellor, find a DV services worker, find someone who will be on your side; you will need their strength. Start putting money into a well-hidden place for the lawyer. File an RO against your bug**** mother in law. Your future ex may be able to get contact with the kids - but if she's crazy enough, you're looking at supervised visits. It's mean and ugly and staying with your abuser is not the answer.
Get the therapist. Develop your self esteem. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Get what legal support you can and save up for what you can't get now.

So the truth came out. He is no longer attracted to me. I had a baby 6 mo ago. When he said this 11 days ago and I weighed 212. I now weigh 201. I started the juicing diet immediately the day he told me all of this. He was not a supportive bf during the pregnancy. A lot of insults. He rarely touched my tummy. He is more interested in his son than me. He has told me he doesnt enjoy having sex and that his friends and family are constantly telling him he could do better. Very verbally abusive. Im not leaving him. I already have a 3 yr old from a previous relationship and now I have a 6 mo old. And I am no longer able to have children. Leaving him is out of the question. I know I should. But ..oh well. My question is. When I lose the weight and im down at my goal weight of 150. Will I be able to look at him the same Or is the pain that hes caused by all of the insults going to stay with me? Has anyone gotn through this? kinda feel alone... He says hes trying to "wake me up before its to late". Ive never felt so ugly.