He told me he was embarrassed of me while I was pregnant!

Options
11112131416

Replies

  • supermodelchic
    supermodelchic Posts: 550 Member
    Options
    1st what an asswipe he is. not sure why you can't leave as there is always an option, I'd love to kick his *kitten* right now. that said , you need to foucus on yourself :heart: :heart: and your babies, he does not deserve any energy put towards him. I myself gained 60 pounds with my 2nd son I was 198 the day he was born, and the weight did come off. Focus on you , eat healthy , get some exercise if it is only walking do what you can do, add me as a friend and I will support you.
  • ELENA_Z
    ELENA_Z Posts: 78 Member
    Options
    sure you can go ahead and stay with him but it wont change.. my oldest sons dad did the same to me but he also physically abused me i was only 17 did i ever get over it.?? yes but when i left him. loosing weight wont change his a-hole attitude.. having children from two diffrent men doesnt change your value as a woman.. loose the weight for you.!! Gain self love and respect for yourself..!! Somebody better will come along and love you and your babys genuinely.. If i could you most certainly can..
  • Copaiba
    Copaiba Posts: 75 Member
    Options
    All men are a-wipes. amirite?

    I love threads like these. They make me look like such a hero to my wife who lurks these forums :) Don't get me wrong, I'm quite the catch, but these posts just validate it even more.
    How the F@%K did you go to this?
    If you agree with the OP's boyfriend then yes, you are also an as$h@.
  • bmqbonnie
    bmqbonnie Posts: 836 Member
    Options
    I really don't know what more to write than what has been written here but I am sure I will be able to write a book. You see, I work at a Domestic Violence center (have for over 5 years) and have seen and heard many stories of abuse- some with severe physical abuse and some like yours, where it is all emotional mind games and tearing someone down. I have heard stories from women who have had to deal with not only the shenanigans of their boyfriend/husband/baby's dad but with his family as well (women who dealt with mothers just like your bf's mom who would do anything to interfere and "make their son look good" or whatever need be to keep the girl with their son).

    To be honest, you have MUCH MORE going for you than the majority of the women I work with on a daily basis. You have a house (which you stated you own, so it is your property), you have a job, you have a car- you have much more means to do something for yourself and your kids than many women in similar situations. I can't tell you to leave him because that is not my decision to make, but I can tell you that there is support out there to help you work through these tough decisions. There are people who do work just like I do and they can help you navigate the legal fields and other issues you might face if you separate from him.

    I will tell you, though, that he won't stop. From what you have said about his mother, it sounds like this is something that has been perpetuated in his family. He probably grew up hearing these kind of things between his parents, perhaps his parents even abused and controlled him. Other posters are right- people who abuse their spouses/SO's often times go on to abuse the children in the relationships. I could find the statistic somewhere, but I know that a HIGH percentage of children in homes where the mother is abused are also abused themselves. And if your children are lucky enough to not be directly abused by him, they are STILL learning his behaviors. Even if you tell them "this behavior isn't right", actions speak louder than words. They WILL learn from what they see happening in their home.

    I sent you a friend request earlier today and if you would like to accept it I will be more than happy to talk with you through private messages and maybe help you find some support in your area. I am sure right now you feel like you can't leave him, like that option is maybe too hard and there are too many obstacles. But hopefully over time you will see that you deserve better (and so do your kids) and when you do, know that there are people out there who would like to help you find yourself and make a better life for yourself and your kids.

    Last, since this is a fitness/diet/health website, I do want to acknowledge how you said you have been basically living on juicing and trying to lose weight that way. PLEASE, if you really want to lose weight for yourself and your health, do it in a healthy way. Your body needs more than just juice and losing weight too rapidly is not good for your body either. Also, when you rapidly lose weight a lot of times you don't sustain that weight loss. If you are wanting to lose weight and get healthier, this needs to be a life change, not just a lose weight quick scheme. Find a weight loss method that can be something you will sustain the rest of your life (and be able to show your kids how to make healthy choices and have a healthy relationship with food as well). Eat balanced meals and smaller portions- the weight will still come off. My diary is open if you would like to look. I have started just cutting back on things and eating more fruits and vegs and making healthier choices and I am losing weight. And what I have been doing is something I think I can sustain for my life- not a fad or lose weight quick scheme.

    Take care!

    I wish this forum had a karma or rep system. This is a great post and very true. You have a lot more going for you than a lot of women in similar situations.

    Think of it this way. He is claiming that he is so unhappy with you, why the hell hasn't HE left YOU??? If you are so useless and disgusting as he says and could do better as his family says?

    ...Because it isn't true, because he is a coward, and because he is using you. He needs to have someone in his life to abuse and you are it, and if you stay you will always be it (possibly expanding to the children), overweight or not.

    There are men that parade their pregnant wives and girlfriends like they're the most gorgeous women on the planet, and they are. I haven['t had kids but I get freaking jealous of pregnant women sometimes. I can't believe the revolting things he said.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    Options
    All men are a-wipes. amirite?

    I love threads like these. They make me look like such a hero to my wife who lurks these forums :) Don't get me wrong, I'm quite the catch, but these posts just validate it even more.
    How the F@%K did you go to this?
    If you agree with the OP's boyfriend then yes, you are also an as$h@.

    well, if you need a forum full of trolls and strangers to validate your worthe to your wife, thats a whole other issue...
  • Dulcemami4ever
    Dulcemami4ever Posts: 344 Member
    Options
    Yes, you can leave him. Regardless of the drama his mother and he puts you thru there is always a way. It's your house right? Kick his abusive *kitten* out and then go to the courts and file something against him and his mother. You keep fighting till you can't anymore. It's either that or live with a man who is clearly just probably using you for your house and you paying the bills. If he doesn't like how you look then he can go find someone else. Do you really feel so low about yourself that you would want to put up with that just to say you have someone? Come on.....you are better than that. You have a job, a house and a car. You are FINE without him.
  • tanterror
    tanterror Posts: 27 Member
    Options
    Don't let him get to you. If things don't get any better you can do bad bu yourself . Sometimes you have to think with your head and not your heart. Add me as a friend if you feel like it. :)
  • ShannieRay
    ShannieRay Posts: 80 Member
    Options
    ITS UNDERSTANDABLE IF YOUR MAN WANTS U TO BE HEALTHY BUT TRUST AND BELIEVE WHEN U GET TO 150LBS HE WILL STILL BE A JERK OFF!!!!....HE SHOULD BE SUPPORTING YOU AND ENCOURAGING U IN A LOVING WAY TO CHANGE UR LIFE STYLE NOT PUTTING YOU DOWN!!!AND IF YOU STAY WITH HIM U'LL PROBABLY STILL FEEL UGLY AT 150LBS BECAUSE OF THE DAMAGE HE HAS ALREADY DONE. IF HE DOESNT EXCEPT YOU FOR YOU THEN KICK HIS *kitten* TO THE CURB BECAUSE U CAN DAMN SURE DO BETTER!!!!
  • MichelleZannone
    Options
    :noway: Oh honey I am sorry he is such a f-tard. What a self centered *kitten* he has been to you. You just pushed out another person and you hormone's still need to adjust. Lose weight, lose him and go find happiness. As far as his family is concerned they are the people who probably set his mind to this way of thinking...screw them too... I doubt you will ever be able to forget what he has said to you nor should you. Love is unconditional. Lose the weight for you, your health and well being. :flowerforyou:
  • TheMattyExperiment
    TheMattyExperiment Posts: 178 Member
    Options
    This post makes me sad :( So many relationships that shouldn't be... are... and so many perfectly nice single peeps are out there lone wolfing it.

    If I had a gf or wife, and she was pregnant with "MY" baby... she would never look more beautiful to me! I would think she was even more gorgeous than she already is because of it. Maybe I'm just weird though :p
  • BlueJue2
    Options
    I started reading some of the replies but stopped. Looks like you have a lot of support here. I wish happiness for you. Here is my prediction. When you get well into your weight loss, you are going to start feeling like a superstar. That is when you can decide what to do about "Mr. Wonderful". Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk. Be careful, any verbal abuse you ar experiencing, your babies are seeing it also. Don't harm their perspective at such young ages. Take care, I will say a prayer for you.
  • CarmenSRT
    CarmenSRT Posts: 843 Member
    Options
    The OP deactivated her account. :frown:
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
    Options
    What gets me is she posted this in the Success Stories board. :ohwell:
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
    Options
    You are not going to leave him? You are going to stay & put up with some verbal insults from him AND his family? Losing weight will not change HIM.

    If you don't leave for you... then do it for your kids. Sorry but they don't need to be put through that. I'm a big believer in NOT staying together for the sake of the children. I'm ok with it if it's ONLY you... but not when kids get involved...and they already are.

    I can't have any more children, I have a 19yo from a man who didn't want anything to do with me or his son, but have been with a man who loves my son as his own.... he has been 'dad' since my son was almost 3. My husband & I can't have children, but damn if he was anything like that.... then I'd be gone....because my son would not need that as well.

    You don't leave for your own reason...fair enough. But think of your kids 1st
  • JordinReign
    Options
    I am so sorry for your pain.

    Take it from me, it won't get better.

    I am no longer with the man/my exhusband who told me that very thing...

    He beat me soon after that...

    You are better than that...

    My advice....There are good men helping to raise three children by three different men that aren't theirs.....I know them personally....

    There are wonderful men out there who will love you...

    The real issue is knowing your own worth and loving yourself...

    It took me years to do so...

    Pray....Ask God for help...

    Do what you love...

    Leave that looser....

    You will be better off in the long run...

    I stayed with a man who began hating me and showing me his hatred daily...
    I know loosers a mile off....

    Believe me....It will get worst....

    You are better than that...
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    Options
    or he deactivated it for her
  • 1MariaChristina
    1MariaChristina Posts: 93 Member
    Options
    So the truth came out. He is no longer attracted to me. I had a baby 6 mo ago. When he said this 11 days ago and I weighed 212. I now weigh 201. I started the juicing diet immediately the day he told me all of this. He was not a supportive bf during the pregnancy. A lot of insults. He rarely touched my tummy. He is more interested in his son than me. He has told me he doesnt enjoy having sex and that his friends and family are constantly telling him he could do better. Very verbally abusive. Im not leaving him. I already have a 3 yr old from a previous relationship and now I have a 6 mo old. And I am no longer able to have children. Leaving him is out of the question. I know I should. But ..oh well. My question is. When I lose the weight and im down at my goal weight of 150. Will I be able to look at him the same Or is the pain that hes caused by all of the insults going to stay with me? Has anyone gotn through this? kinda feel alone... He says hes trying to "wake me up before its to late". Ive never felt so ugly.

    Why on earth don't you leave?? And further more did you think that honestly anyone on this website for support would support that?? Get out while you still can...
  • Dlibo1013
    Dlibo1013 Posts: 883 Member
    Options
    he is a jerk
  • missjanetleigh
    missjanetleigh Posts: 149 Member
    Options
    or she did. Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth, they don't have the balls to leave and it's sad because it will without a doubt affect her children.

    I had a guy that was a friend of a friend on facebook, and he came to me for advice I gave it to him and with no reply he deleted me.

    Guess I told him something he didn't want to hear.
  • alkinsey2007
    Options
    Unless you have heard those nasty things coming from his friends and family...do not believe it, probably the opposite is true.
    Honey, I am not in your shoes and I don't understand the why, of why you cant leave, but I will tell you this, verbal abuse escalates...do you and your babies a favor and leave...there has to be a shelter in your area where they will help you.
This discussion has been closed.
Do you Love MyFitnessPal? Have you crushed a goal or improved your life through better nutrition using MyFitnessPal?
Share your success and inspire others. Leave us a review on Apple Or Google Play stores!