Please stop…I beg of you…

LauraMacNCheese
LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
in Food and Nutrition
The quasi-food recipes are the herpes of MFP…there is an outbreak almost daily.

Mashed up banana + egg does NOT equal a pancake…it is an omelet…a nasty, fruit-based omelet.

Mashed up banana + oats does NOT equal a cookie…it is some weird form of oatmeal.

Mashed up cauliflower does NOT equal a pizza crust…it is an abomination.

Adding buffalo sauce to cauliflower does NOT equal a buffalo wing…this too, is an abomination.

Please, please stop trying to make junk food healthy…if I want to eat a buffalo wing, I want a piece of chicken slathered in tangy BBQ sauce. If I want a pancake, I want something I can smother with syrup. If I want pizza, I want it to be on a crust made of gluten-filled goodness. If I want a cookie, I will drown a double-stuffed Oreo in a glass of milk (real milk…from a cow).

Splurging once in a blue moon is not a sin. I will not go to hell for it. I will go to hell for finding wildly inappropriate things hysterically funny.
«134567…17

Replies

  • PhillyTD
    PhillyTD Posts: 375 Member
    620%20-%20chris_jericho%20clapping%20gif%20wwe.gif
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
    If I squeeze a cauliflower and it drips, can I log that as water?
  • SideSteel
    SideSteel Posts: 11,068 Member
    I made this awesome taco once though that I"ll share with you but other than this taco I totally agree wtih you.

    What I did was instead of using a corn tortilla because corn killed the Mayans and obviously all grains are fatal, I used a lettuce leaf. And then since beef is harmful because of that study by those chinese people I used clumps of cinnamon (it's really boosting on your metbolisms) but I clumped it up to really look like beef. And taco sauce is only like 10 calories if you use a syringe and just drip it on, so I added REAL TACO SAUCES and then some lettuce and omg it was just like eating a taco.

    thanks add me for motivation.
  • astylla
    astylla Posts: 118 Member
    I don't understand..if this is not hurting you or you don't wish to enjoy such..why complain why not just pass by the post. To each their own you know..

    I for one am THANKFUL for the different options and personally love my cauliflower pizza crust among other variations.

    I do allow myself to indulge however I prefer to choose a healtheir option to provide myself for better lifestyle habits if I can. I don't do "diets" - I don't believe they work but changing how I eat will last me a lifetime.

    But that's just my 2 cents.
  • DrBroPHD
    DrBroPHD Posts: 245 Member
    Someone had to say it
  • YoungDoc2B
    YoungDoc2B Posts: 1,593 Member
    Except that cauliflower pizza crust is da bomb. Srsly
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Buffalo on boneless skinless chicken breast sauce is a yummy way to eat a boneless chicken breast, but it's not a "hot wing".
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    I made this awesome taco once though that I"ll share with you but other than this taco I totally agree wtih you.

    What I did was instead of using a corn tortilla because corn killed the Mayans and obviously all grains are fatal, I used a lettuce leaf. And then since beef is harmful because of that study by those chinese people I used clumps of cinnamon (it's really boosting on your metbolisms) but I clumped it up to really look like beef. And taco sauce is only like 10 calories if you use a syringe and just drip it on, so I added REAL TACO SAUCES and then some lettuce and omg it was just like eating a taco.

    thanks add me for motivation.

    IOH24yx.gif
  • Shadowknight137
    Shadowknight137 Posts: 1,243 Member
    This thread is coeliac-cist. :(

    :P

    IMo, there's nothing wrong with making your own "junk food" - it inspires creativity, can be eaten at a great volume/calorie, and can be palatable for people with allergies.
    But it does become a bit of a nuisance when listed as a "healthy" alternative. Lower calorie does not equal healthy - end of story.

    Each to their own; I'll still enjoy both store bought and homemade ice cream, because sometime I CBF prepping anything, and sometimes I'm in a creative cooking mood.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Someone had to say it

    ^^ This. Thank you OP. You're doing the world a great service, however, I do think that sometimes hamburger buns can be substituted:

    images-2_zps4e9d5d33.jpeg
  • Trilby16
    Trilby16 Posts: 707 Member
    I have to agree with you but would not have posted due to my fear of getting flamed.

    I also hate when people bump up these recipes without really knowing if they're any good.
  • gfedex
    gfedex Posts: 226 Member
    Someone had to say it

    ^^ This. Thank you OP. You're doing the world a great service, however, I do think that sometimes hamburger buns can be substituted:

    images-2_zps4e9d5d33.jpeg

    I agree:

    grilledcheeseburgermelt.jpg
  • ZoeLifts
    ZoeLifts Posts: 10,347 Member
    s4iuK2q.gif
  • Factory_Reset
    Factory_Reset Posts: 1,651 Member
    Someone had to say it

    ^^ This. Thank you OP. You're doing the world a great service, however, I do think that sometimes hamburger buns can be substituted:

    images-2_zps4e9d5d33.jpeg

    I'm going to have to agree with this!
  • Oakley82
    Oakley82 Posts: 53
    I made that banana/oats "cookie"... I was really mad I wasted 2 perfectly good bananas!! :sad:
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    did you say Blue Moon?
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSB31JZBf3zbvZjABBca0uRdK6RZ-NnlXDGf0ZyVi4z_MHLr4_r2g

    I want!
  • dare2love81
    dare2love81 Posts: 928 Member
    Someone had to say it

    ^^ This. Thank you OP. You're doing the world a great service, however, I do think that sometimes hamburger buns can be substituted:

    images-2_zps4e9d5d33.jpeg

    OH. MY. GOD. I must make this for dinner. TONIGHT. *drools*
  • Smittysmama
    Smittysmama Posts: 24
    Amen....anytime someone writes that " it tastes just like " I tune out...No....it doesn't!!! I did kinda like the califlower crust is ok but it wasn't low cal by any means...I could've had 1/3 of my Amy's pizza for the same calories & less fat!
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    I made this awesome taco once though that I"ll share with you but other than this taco I totally agree wtih you.

    What I did was instead of using a corn tortilla because corn killed the Mayans and obviously all grains are fatal, I used a lettuce leaf. And then since beef is harmful because of that study by those chinese people I used clumps of cinnamon (it's really boosting on your metbolisms) but I clumped it up to really look like beef. And taco sauce is only like 10 calories if you use a syringe and just drip it on, so I added REAL TACO SAUCES and then some lettuce and omg it was just like eating a taco.

    thanks add me for motivation.

    Thanks! Now I know what to make for dinner tonight. The hubs can't accuse me of sabotage if I serve this. His metabolic rate will shoot through the roof!
  • AlabasterVerve
    AlabasterVerve Posts: 3,171 Member
    I made this awesome taco once though that I"ll share with you but other than this taco I totally agree wtih you.

    What I did was instead of using a corn tortilla because corn killed the Mayans and obviously all grains are fatal, I used a lettuce leaf. And then since beef is harmful because of that study by those chinese people I used clumps of cinnamon (it's really boosting on your metbolisms) but I clumped it up to really look like beef. And taco sauce is only like 10 calories if you use a syringe and just drip it on, so I added REAL TACO SAUCES and then some lettuce and omg it was just like eating a taco.

    thanks add me for motivation.
    :bigsmile:

    Not that I'm all that different then the people dipping their forks in salad dressing and coming up with other weird ways to reduce calories since I eat low carb but still, this made me laugh.
  • MG_Fit
    MG_Fit Posts: 1,143 Member
    This is great!
  • robjenga
    robjenga Posts: 175 Member
    Good stuff.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    I don't understand..if this is not hurting you or you don't wish to enjoy such..why complain why not just pass by the post. To each their own you know..

    I for one am THANKFUL for the different options and personally love my cauliflower pizza crust among other variations.

    I do allow myself to indulge however I prefer to choose a healtheir option to provide myself for better lifestyle habits if I can. I don't do "diets" - I don't believe they work but changing how I eat will last me a lifetime.

    But that's just my 2 cents.

    Maybe I could tolerate peoples' weird food strategies...

    ...if they'd stop infecting the MFP database.

    (And yes, you "net carbs" and "mathematically impossible macros" people, I'm looking at you. :explode: )
  • deb3129
    deb3129 Posts: 1,294 Member
    I have made the oat/banana cookies and loved them. I have not tried the pancakes, but a lot of people have and seemed to like them. If you are not interested, just don't look at the recipes...
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
    amen, sister
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    tumblr_inline_mfz5jcQPcF1qlzvym.gif
  • a_mandolin_
    a_mandolin_ Posts: 336 Member
    True true. Also, if quotation marks have to be used in the name, it isn't worth eating.

    The most disapointing thing to me is clicking a recipe that sounds like a yummy desert and it is nothing but splenda, sugar free maple syrup, some weird egg substitute in a carton and other sugar free abominations.
  • Trilby16
    Trilby16 Posts: 707 Member
    I made that banana/oats "cookie"... I was really mad I wasted 2 perfectly good bananas!! :sad:

    I made the Chunky Monkey cookies-- 3 bananas wasted, the whole batch in the trash. Yuck! Glad to finally say it!
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
    I totally agree with this post...except I think the banana/egg pancakes taste super good...plus I add peanut butter, walnuts and chocolate chips...so they end up being 600 calories...

    But I'll die before eating cauliflower crust pizza.

Categories