All I see is a moster and I dont want that anymore.
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MadamUnique
Posts: 173
Before I get judgemental replies. Please read.
Hi.
I don't even know how to start this or explain this okay? So if its a bit erm, confusing. I'm sorry. Lets start off with a bit about me, I'm nineteen.. from the UK and classed as obese because I'm 251.8 lbs but I'm 5 foot and 7 inches. I live alone, left home at the age of 16 and went into care... from there into a hostel and now live independently at the age of 19 on a tight budget. Oh and I suffer manic depression. :grumble:
I've always been on the 'chubby' side and I want that to change.
Just feel that my weight's effecting everything, me getting a job, me being happy and me being healthy. I feel obese, ugly and to be honest.. worthless. Since 23 Feb 2011, my weight shot up when my ex asked me to go on the implant (birth control) and I gained around 4 stone. Started to fail around December 2011 and I had to get it removed. Then he dumped me, April 29th 2012 for no reason out the blue. In May I found out I was pregnant, but late June lost the baby and I hold that to me being obese. So went to comforting eating. :frown:
But in October, my saint came and I met my current boyfriend. We've been together for 4 months and hes changed my life completely. Although I've got depression? Whenever he's around me. I'm happy and I honestly want him and I to work out. But the the lack of confidence and feeling ugly creeps in as he's what my mum classes as 'dishy'. To be honest? I didn't even expect him to be mine, he's the same high as me.. but way out of my league. :huh:
(My boyfriend body, then my erm chubby over-load)
(Us together)
See what I mean? So I don't only want to lose weight for myself. I want to lose it so I feel confident and sexy around my boyfriend. But I'm struggling, money's an issue and so is my confidence. Every-time I look in the mirror all I see is a monster. I sometimes feel like I'm going to break down, due to my past creeping up on me. I've had counselling since the age of 16 months.. yes I said 16 months. I stopped going counselling back in January 2012 as I wanted a break from going there basically my whole life.
But I know my boyfriend's supporting me and wants the best for me.
This isn't attention seeking, I guess what I'm trying to say is. Should I just give up?
-Samantha
Hi.
I don't even know how to start this or explain this okay? So if its a bit erm, confusing. I'm sorry. Lets start off with a bit about me, I'm nineteen.. from the UK and classed as obese because I'm 251.8 lbs but I'm 5 foot and 7 inches. I live alone, left home at the age of 16 and went into care... from there into a hostel and now live independently at the age of 19 on a tight budget. Oh and I suffer manic depression. :grumble:
I've always been on the 'chubby' side and I want that to change.
Just feel that my weight's effecting everything, me getting a job, me being happy and me being healthy. I feel obese, ugly and to be honest.. worthless. Since 23 Feb 2011, my weight shot up when my ex asked me to go on the implant (birth control) and I gained around 4 stone. Started to fail around December 2011 and I had to get it removed. Then he dumped me, April 29th 2012 for no reason out the blue. In May I found out I was pregnant, but late June lost the baby and I hold that to me being obese. So went to comforting eating. :frown:
But in October, my saint came and I met my current boyfriend. We've been together for 4 months and hes changed my life completely. Although I've got depression? Whenever he's around me. I'm happy and I honestly want him and I to work out. But the the lack of confidence and feeling ugly creeps in as he's what my mum classes as 'dishy'. To be honest? I didn't even expect him to be mine, he's the same high as me.. but way out of my league. :huh:
(My boyfriend body, then my erm chubby over-load)
(Us together)
See what I mean? So I don't only want to lose weight for myself. I want to lose it so I feel confident and sexy around my boyfriend. But I'm struggling, money's an issue and so is my confidence. Every-time I look in the mirror all I see is a monster. I sometimes feel like I'm going to break down, due to my past creeping up on me. I've had counselling since the age of 16 months.. yes I said 16 months. I stopped going counselling back in January 2012 as I wanted a break from going there basically my whole life.
But I know my boyfriend's supporting me and wants the best for me.
This isn't attention seeking, I guess what I'm trying to say is. Should I just give up?
-Samantha
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Replies
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Why would you EVER even ASK that? Especially on a a weightloss/diet support site. No don't give up. Gah. :explode:0
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Why would you EVER even ASK that? Especially on a a weightloss/diet support site. No don't give up. Gah. :explode:
Jeeze, sorry. I'm most likely not the only person who feels like this. I don't want to give up, I just feel like the odd's are against me. :huh:0 -
Awww babygirl your breaking my heart consider yourself hugged.:flowerforyou: Brave of you to put a voice to your feelings. Your a beautiful girl with your whole wonderful life ahead of you. so that said as me as your friend and I can take a look at your dairy and see what your eating , and what kind of workouts are you doing weights ? cardio?0
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Never give up!
Never surrender!
Are there any free ways to exercise there? Free gyms? Do you have a bike? Bike to the store, to the library, to the post office. Drink lots and lots of water.
Take vitamins.
Move the furniture in your house .. Totally,rearrange it all. Once a week. There's a free workout for you.
:laugh:
Use toddler plates to help with portion control.
Read books that make you happy.
And music. And dance around the house.
(Being happy is really important to overall fitness, I think)0 -
Awww babygirl your breaking my heart consider yourself hugged.:flowerforyou: Brave of you to put a voice to your feelings. Your a beautiful girl with your whole wonderful life ahead of you. so that said as me as your friend and I can take a look at your dairy and see what your eating , and what kind of workouts are you doing weights ? cardio?
I've seriously been munching, due to my depression and light exercise. I can afford GYM, I have that 30DayShred DVD. But no Yoga Mat or dumbell's. So don't know how I can do it? I have £15 to spent on food for two weeks. Thats the hardest. Been trying to get a job since August 2012 and cant. I think it's due to my weight
Thank's though, I think my Diary's Public :S ♥0 -
They're only against you when you let them be.Why would you EVER even ASK that? Especially on a a weightloss/diet support site. No don't give up. Gah. :explode:
Jeeze, sorry. I'm most likely not the only person who feels like this. I don't want to give up, I just feel like the odd's are against me. :huh:0 -
Never give up!
Never surrender!
Are there any free ways to exercise there? Free gyms? Do you have a bike? Bike to the store, to the library, to the post office. Drink lots and lots of water.
Take vitamins.
Move the furniture in your house .. Totally,rearrange it all. Once a week. There's a free workout for you.
:laugh:
Use toddler plates to help with portion control.
Read books that make you happy.
And music. And dance around the house.
(Being happy is really important to overall fitness, I think)
I agree with that, but I can't get happy unless I'm around my boyfriend? My doctor keeps attempting to put me on anti-depressants. But my mother's on it, so I keep declining as shes dependent on them.
Haha, I do the moving the furniture one. I don't exactly have alot. This is my first apartment and its just basic. Don't have a bike and no free gym's sadly.
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Change your thoughts, change your life
The guy likes you. Not everything in your life is caused by how much you weigh. Actually, not much at all.
Relax. Enjoy your life. Think positive. Get back into therapy. It will help.0 -
They're only against you when you let them be.Why would you EVER even ASK that? Especially on a a weightloss/diet support site. No don't give up. Gah. :explode:
Jeeze, sorry. I'm most likely not the only person who feels like this. I don't want to give up, I just feel like the odd's are against me. :huh:
What do you expect me to say when I feel like it's me VS the world? Honestly.. I feel like I can't win and lose 135 lbs 0 -
Change your thoughts, change your life
The guy likes you. Not everything in your life is caused by how much you weigh. Actually, not much at all.
Relax. Enjoy your life. Think positive. Get back into therapy. It will help.
Right, I understand he likes me. Just I don't feel confident or even secure enough for him to see my 'obese' body. Trust me, most of my life is. I'm from east london and get judged alot by it.
Not going back to Therapy, been there basically all my life? See it from my view. I need a break.0 -
Hi, I live in the USA. Am the same hight as you and started MFP on Jan 8th. I weighed 249 when I started. Now am down 15 pounds and lost 6 1/2 . Also I am 55 years old!!! You have youth on your side and a supportive friend. Please don't give up. You are a very pretty young woman. You CAN lose the weight. First figure out how many calories you need to be eating every day. I need to eat 1832. Then start walking 30 minutes a day. Keep researching the Internet for low cost healthy foods.0
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Hi, I live in the USA. Am the same hight as you and started MFP on Jan 8th. I weighed 249 when I started. Now am down 15 pounds and lost 6 1/2 . Also I am 55 years old!!! You have youth on your side and a supportive friend. Please don't give up. You are a very pretty young woman. You CAN lose the weight. First figure out how many calories you need to be eating every day. I need to eat 1832. Then start walking 30 minutes a day. Keep researching the Internet for low cost healthy foods.
Congratulation's on the weight lost! Also, I guess.. I am trying kind of. Just find it hard, as I live alone and the depression side of things creep up on me daily. I might start walking though, free exercise xD0 -
I know it is hard to live with depression, but try to remember that depression is horrible horrible liar. Those voices in your head that tell you that you are not beautiful and sexy are just the depression talking.
Walk lots if you can't go to the gym and don't have weights. Walk around to different businesses to find a job, any job that will get you out of the house where you can munch on food, and so that you can earn some money for a set of weights and mat.
Work on loving yourself as is, right now flaws and all. Work what you have and continue to work toward what you want.
Good luck!0 -
I think it is great that you have such a supportive boyfriend. It is hard to lose weight and we need all of the support we can get. Confidence doesn't always come with losing weight either. I ammore confident and sexy at 150 then I ever was at 120. Confidence is learning to love yourself, inside and out. He sees your amazing, you should too. I was diagnosied with manic depression as well. I kicked the drugs because they did nothing but hurt me.
Budget wise - protien keeps you fuller longer, at least it does me.
Go running - not just to burn calories - not because your fat. Do it because it clears your head and makes you so tired you can't even think about how ugly you think you look. The endorphine high is fantastic, you sleep way better, and its free.
add me as your friend!0 -
I know it is hard to live with depression, but try to remember that depression is horrible horrible liar. Those voices in your head that tell you that you are not beautiful and sexy are just the depression talking.
Walk lots if you can't go to the gym and don't have weights. Walk around to different businesses to find a job, any job that will get you out of the house where you can munch on food, and so that you can earn some money for a set of weights and mat.
Work on loving yourself as is, right now flaws and all. Work what you have and continue to work toward what you want.
Good luck!
I guess I need to change my mind set really? To become happy..0 -
first off you are NOT A MONSTER so stop with the negative talk because all that will do is cause you to hate yourself, you say your budget is tight but you can still eat healthy on a tight budget it just means that some other things may need to be reduced in you budget. As for exersize it costs nothing to walk a few miles a day and I don't mean casual walking i mean heart pounding walking as fast as you can. Can you list what you eat in a day and what type of workout you do?0
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You just said you can't get a job due to your weight? Sorry but that's ridiculous. In order to get a job you must apply, and then do a follow up phone call to ask about the status of your application within a week or two. That's how I got most of my jobs. They don't judge you solely based on your looks but also your character and experience.
If your boyfriend is dating you, than he's attracted to you. Don't point out your flaws to yourself, nor to him. Have some confidence. Perfection doesn't exist in this world. Learn to love and accept yourself.
The only way I know how to address your low confidence is to ask you " What Are You Doing To Improve Yourself ?"
You're here working on the nutrition part which is the first step, the second step is exercise. I don't have a gym membership or any equipment but I make sure to get in my half an hour run every night. Even if I have to walk a lot more than run, I go out and do something. These aren't outrageous solutions that are out of reach.
What ever you do don't sulk and take no action to better yourself. Make the most of your potential! You seem like a very smart, and independent young lady. Make a decision, emphasize the positive, and redefine perfect because you are good enough!0 -
first off you are NOT A MONSTER so stop with the negative talk because all that will do is cause you to hate yourself, you say your budget is tight but you can still eat healthy on a tight budget it just means that some other things may need to be reduced in you budget. As for exersize it costs nothing to walk a few miles a day and I don't mean casual walking i mean heart pounding walking as fast as you can. Can you list what you eat in a day and what type of workout you do?
I'm pretty sure my diary's open and its full of rubbish in all honesty as I'm currently using the food I have. Although I had a take-away today as I was around my family's. Don't really do workout's either, also been really ill recently so yeah.. :S0 -
Use toddler plates to help with portion control.
And music. And dance around the house.
(Being happy is really important to overall fitness, I think)
I love all of this! I use my nephews plates, and it helps a lot! It is hard to lose weigh when you don't feel good, so doing anything that makes you happy is good.0 -
Don't give up. Celebrate all the victories, and don't sweat it when it doesn't go your way. Remember that change is slow going but it's happening. Remember that you are worth it.0
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