Online dating

So I have caved to friends and signed up for online dating. Has anyone had any success at it? Currently it is a bit disappointing to say the least. Instead of a confidence booster it's making me actually depressed at the lack of response from people. just venting here.

Replies

Amazonbella

Noooooo! I want OLD-FASHION face-to-face dating to come back

I meet men looking for hook-ups or men who say they are 6'2 and end up being 5'8 LOL But truthfully when I did it I met some GREAT FRIENDS that I still have to this day

But you can meet people you never would....just make sure if they seem too good to be true, you check them out first. Watch MTV's CATFISH??? LOL Scarey!!!!

Good luck to you--let us know how it goes.

myofibril

A dating site is adverse selection at its finest. There is an inbuilt reward system for exaggerating or outright lying meaning that these traits will eventually overtake all others the more successful the site becomes. It creates a market for lemons.

Practical advice? You will have more success if you are looking for a quality relationship at a smaller site with selective clientele who share common interests (whatever that may be like politics, religion, gaming etc.)

Seriously, if this was a dating site it would be a phenomenal place to meet people.

gioisa75

But you can meet people you never would....just make sure if they seem too good to be true, you check them out first. Watch MTV's CATFISH??? LOL Scarey!!!!

Lol. I think someone tried this yesterday.

butterfli7o

I met my husband on Match.com five years ago. We had our one-year anniversary in September.

My brother met his wife on plentyoffish.com

You never know.

pseudomuffin

I met my fiancé on World of Warcraft :blushing:

Just be honest and hope the people you meet are being honest too. I prefer being friends with someone before you start dating them though, but I'm never actively looking to date someone, I just kind of let it happen. People can really put on a show when they're "on the market" whereas being friends with them first shows you who they are on a day to day basis when they're not on their best behavior.

FTClown

I met my fiancé on World of Warcraft :blushing:

That is where I stopped reading, you lucky *kitten* and having similar taste in things

rmkramer003

I have been using MeetUp.com. It's not a dating site, but a group get together site. People with common interests going out and doing stuff.

richardheath

Just one more thing... a dating site is a supplement to real world dating. For me, coming out of a 13 year marriage, I was out of practice in chatting up women in bars etc, but that's not to say I didn't try sometimes. And most of the people I met in social situations were either married friends; or, if they were single, the parents of my kid's friends or work colleagues... not ideal dating material! Dating sites got me to meet people I wasn't going to run into in my daily life. And after you get matched online, you still have to go and actually meet them f2f.

I dunno. I was very sceptical at first, and very frustrated for a while. But, as of now, it's been worthwhile. YMMV, of course!

mattagascar

Never have never will....i don't see anything wrong with it though.

pseudomuffin

I met my fiancé on World of Warcraft :blushing:

That is where I stopped reading, you lucky *kitten* and having similar taste in things

❤

Fed_up

I met my husband on a free dating site almost 8 years ago. I sent him a message cuz I liked his profile and thought he was cute in that boy-ish sorta way. He only lived about 10 miles from me but we never would have met otherwise.

We are about to celebrate our 7 year anniversary and I have never been happier.

Give it a try. It can't hurt.

Different sites have different purposes. Are you looking for some one-night stands? Meet-up sites are where you wanna go for casual. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship/marriage then maybe Match.com or something else like that.

etoiles_argentees

Never have never will....i don't see anything wrong with it though.

Nothing wrong I suppose but I meet enough guys in real life that are all set to marry me and so on. No need for more.

aptechlana04

Online dating is a challenge, but yes it can work. I have a couple of people who met there significat other on a site.
I met a guy that I have now been dating for 7 months at an online site. Depends on what you are looking for.
Unfortuantely there are a TON of people out there that tend to make it challenging for everyone. Just one bad
experience can taint how you look at the situations. Unfortunately a lot of people girls as well as guys tend to be
out there looking for "eye candy" and not really wanting to get to know someone on a deeper level....it's all about 1st
visual impressions. So people miss out on GREAT people based on looks. You will get the hang of it, and start to be
able to weed out the superficial people, then it really does get easier and less hurtful. I too wanted to give up because
it was just too hurtful......but I promise, it does get easier.....and you can find someone fun to date....Just keep it up.

_DaniD_

Do it! You will at the very least get laid.

misskerouac

I just wanted to add (as I haven't seen this mentioned yet) that I am a very "independent" person. I like shopping by myself, I like spending time reading a good book at home by myself. I work with all women (except the boss), I am not a huge fan of bars/clubs, don't belong to any organizations, and am done with school. So I went YEARS without dating ANYONE. Alot of my friends were in relationships and were friends with other couples, so I rarely even met single guys through friends.

Some people's lifestyles just don't allow for "chance meetings". And although you can make the argument "go out and make an effort" sure, I could, but then I'd also be representing something that I'm not. I'm not the outgoing "here i am!!!!" type.

Like I said earlier, I met my husband online, but not on a dating site. Message boards of websites of something you enjoy could work just as well.

lilmissbamaqueen

Never have never will....i don't see anything wrong with it though.

Nothing wrong I suppose but I meet enough guys in real life that are all set to marry me and so on. No need for more.

Must be nice.

Hbazzell

I met my ex via okcupid kind of. We we friends on there, then fbook, hadent met. Then one night he came to my rescue when I posted "I am going to fail phsyics if I don't get some help on this homework". He responded that he would help, met me for a drink and some acadamia. Well, we were inseperable after that night. Down the road we looked at our pfoiles again for fun and saw OKCupid gave us a 97% match. I would have to agree. The reason he is in the "Ex" catagory is I got stationed in NY from the west coast and had no idea when I would be back so we ended it sadly. But I ended up meating my husband in the time and I don't regret it.

Good luck :0

jamiem1102

I don't know... I've always done well in the online dating world. I've also managed to make tons of friends along the way. I think it just takes a lot of patience... but being a girl, I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for a guy to do the online dating thing. Although, I must admit, with my current man I sent out the first message.

Hbazzell

Actually, after that song post above, I realized I really got with my husband because of the itnernet. Facebook suggested we be friends, but we both recognized eachotehr from high school, so we had met before but wouldnt have reconnected otherwise.

Mischievous_Rascal

I just married someone I never would have crossed paths with if not for an online dating site. Best of luck.

Elzecat

Trust me I am. I am really trying to communicate with people.

It's almost impossible. A decent girl will get dozens of messages a day, some of them hundreds on the free sites. The average quality of the girls there is pretty low compared to what you would see in day-to-day life, so the good ones are bombarded by guys. I've had a few dates in the past few years from it so it can work...but not really worth the time and effort. Writing relevant messages that get responses takes a LONG time and it's a bit absurd to spend hours writing say 50 messages (if you can even find 50 decent girls on there) and get just a couple responses back.

Apparently I'm not a "decent" woman (I am certainly not a girl

...I get maybe one message a month and the last one I received on a particular site was someone whose profile I hadn't even LOOKED at (or been matched up with, so I have no idea how they "found" me) who felt the need to write to me and tell me how I ugly I was. I'm on a few sites but get minimal contact and no response when I contact someone...makes me wonder if I'm really that ugly or something...and it's very disheartening because a ton of people I know HAVE met their significant other/boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse via online dating.

whierd

I have done it several times, never through a dating site though. It just tends to happen. I recommend it and would do again.

eric_sg61

Been with the same girl for 11 years. We meet on Match, when all the dating sites were still free. Met girls for a while online before I meet her. Out of the dozens of girls I met online she was the only one who didn't try to get some on the first date:bigsmile:

whierd

I also think you get to know someone more completely that way.

VorJoshigan

I will just say to keep your messages short, relevant to her profile, and representative of who you are. It's a numbers game, so don't spend too much time on those first messages.

As an alternative, I recommend a site called meetup.com. It's a good place to meet new people, including potential partners.

penrbrown

Trust me I am. I am really trying to communicate with people.

It's almost impossible. A decent girl will get dozens of messages a day, some of them hundreds on the free sites. The average quality of the girls there is pretty low compared to what you would see in day-to-day life, so the good ones are bombarded by guys. I've had a few dates in the past few years from it so it can work...but not really worth the time and effort. Writing relevant messages that get responses takes a LONG time and it's a bit absurd to spend hours writing say 50 messages (if you can even find 50 decent girls on there) and get just a couple responses back.

I had the same problem... there were VERY few men who interested me at all. Most of them just seemed really whiny or desperate and it was a huge turn off.

The few who were of any caliber just weren't interested (which I guess means I'm not a quality girl?). It was a real waste of time.

I've had much better luck meeting fellows at WORK then I did online!!!!

fara180

online dating has a lot of good and positive qualities but it also has its downfalls. i've met some nice guys through the internet as well as some crummy ones- just like in the real world. i will say that it's a good tool to use if you're a rather busy or socially awkward/shy person. getting to know someone before meeting them face to face can be in your best interest if you typically put your foot in your mouth/say the wrong thing around new women.

that said, keep your guard up a little bit. in my experience, a lot of online daters tell will decieve you/lie to you and even toy with your emotions just for entertainment. also, don't set yourself up for heartbreak (example: don't fall in love with a girl who lives really far away if neither of you are willing to relocate, etc.)

CaliforniaSweetheart

I have never done online dating sites, but I did do speed dating once. It was pretty fun and even though I didn't meet anyone I wanted to date, a couple of my friends did!

lorac321

Met on Match.com... been together for 3 years.

Fed_up

Apparently I'm not a "decent" woman (I am certainly not a girl ...I get maybe one message a month and the last one I received on a particular site was someone whose profile I hadn't even LOOKED at (or been matched up with, so I have no idea how they "found" me) who felt the need to write to me and tell me how I ugly I was. I'm on a few sites but get minimal contact and no response when I contact someone...makes me wonder if I'm really that ugly or something...and it's very disheartening because a ton of people I know HAVE met their significant other/boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse via online dating.

Screw that, you are a very attractive woman. Whoever sent you that message was either jealous or some pscho jerk tryin to see what kind of a rise he could get outta you. Probably sends messages liek that all kinds of women cuz he's a woman hating jerk or something. Never give up because the right one is out there for you and will find you to be the most beautiful woman in the world!!