Online dating

I know there's a lot of responses- but here's my story.

I didn't want to do online dating either. But I had terrible luck with guys- especially ones my age. 22 year old guys aren't exactly at my maturity level-especially since I've always been mature for my age.

So, I signed up for one month of Match (thanks to my mom)
I met my current boyfriend on there. I met him in December of 2010. We're still together. In fact, we're living together, and have been talking about our more "serious" future

My advice is to GO FOR IT.
I know a lot of people have luck on sites like OKcupid, POF, and all those free ones- but my advice is pay for it. I don't regret paying 30 bucks to meet the love of my life. He truly is perfect for me in every way.
And it's a good way to filter people too.
And to keep your standards high.
Never let your standards fall.

I always thought, why date guys that didn't meet my standards? Waste of time. As a result, didn't have a boyfriend until I met this guy.

Couldn't be happier

Standards is the PC female term for looks. Keep it classy ladies!

That's rather sexist. I think by standards it embodies (in addition to looks. Because without physical attraction, what separates it from a friendship?) intelligence, values, likes, interests, etc.

Met my husband 10 years ago on a dating site on the second day of his quite expensive one year membership .. because he thought it'd take a long time! We'd both been single for years, he caring for his Mum, me my daughters. Before meeting him I'd tried a few sites with some success but at times it was depressing and annoying too. Glad I perservered though!! Now we're both on MFP trying to get healthier so we can hopefully be together longer!

I know there's a lot of responses- but here's my story.

I didn't want to do online dating either. But I had terrible luck with guys- especially ones my age. 22 year old guys aren't exactly at my maturity level-especially since I've always been mature for my age.

So, I signed up for one month of Match (thanks to my mom)
I met my current boyfriend on there. I met him in December of 2010. We're still together. In fact, we're living together, and have been talking about our more "serious" future

My advice is to GO FOR IT.
I know a lot of people have luck on sites like OKcupid, POF, and all those free ones- but my advice is pay for it. I don't regret paying 30 bucks to meet the love of my life. He truly is perfect for me in every way.
And it's a good way to filter people too.
And to keep your standards high.
Never let your standards fall.

I always thought, why date guys that didn't meet my standards? Waste of time. As a result, didn't have a boyfriend until I met this guy.

Couldn't be happier

Standards is the PC female term for looks. Keep it classy ladies!

... I don't see why you have such a hangup. You're a good looking guy. I highly doubt you've ever been passed up on your appearance alone. So stop being a bitter nancy and recognize that for women attraction lies more in personality then looks.

When I was on those dating sites I looked at plenty of profiles and let me tell you, no matter HOW GOOD the guy looked, if he portrayed a ****ty personality in his profile he was passed up REAL QUICK.

I will give you that if a guy has a flat out bad personality he'll probably get passed up regardless of looks but speaking from experience there is a large group of guys getting passed over because they don't meet some nonsense standard of what women think a man should look like. My favorite are the chubby girls who "want someone athletic." Oh cool, I run 3-4 days a week and lift weights. She means me right? Wait no. She means 12% body fat with a 6 pack.

There's a large group of women who get passed up based on looks alone, f.y.i.

There's a large group of women who get passed up based on looks alone, f.y.i.

Don't be silly. Only women pass up men based on appearance alone. *rolls eyes*

Yes. I'm sure the 10 billion times I was shot down immediately when I was 290lbs had something to do with a fundamental pesonality flaw which was clearly evident by the way I said "hello." Yeahhhhhhh. Magically this personality flaw has disappeared for at least a few women now at 225lbs. Care to explain why my "hello" sounds different now?

My opinion is if you're on a free site, you don't know what you're gonna get.
I've done the online thing, but never any luck. I dealt with some people who ended up being very different in person, than they portray online.

But I do know people who have met their love online, so it can work. :-)

Best of luck!! :-)

Are you guys seriously fighting over who gets passed on more?

I have to believe it's that it's felt equally on both sides. Online dating is inherently superficial. Sucks, but that's life I suppose. Cheer up! Hugs all around. :flowerforyou:

Kind of. Heheheheheh. But it's fun!

There's a large group of women who get passed up based on looks alone, f.y.i.

Don't be silly. Only women pass up men based on appearance alone. *rolls eyes*

Yes. I'm sure the 10 billion times I was shot down immediately when I was 290lbs had something to do with a fundamental pesonality flaw which was clearly evident by the way I said "hello." Yeahhhhhhh. Magically this personality flaw has disappeared for at least a few women now at 225lbs. Care to explain why my "hello" sounds different now?

Dude. You don't have the monopoly on being judged by your appearance. *smh*

Don't be bitter.

That's all I'm saying.

I will stop being bitter literally the moment I get the impression the entire female population has moved beyond high school and is no longer shallow. Until then no deal :P

I will stop being bitter literally the moment I get the impression the entire female population has moved beyond high school and is no longer shallow. Until then no deal :P

Do you think any of the female population will want you when you go around saying the entirety of us haven't moved beyond high school? LOL!

Here's a shovel. I mean, you're digging with your words now but digging with a shovel will speed things up.

I will stop being bitter literally the moment I get the impression the entire female population has moved beyond high school and is no longer shallow. Until then no deal :P

Do you think any of the female population will want you when you go around saying the entirety of us haven't moved beyond high school? LOL!

Here's a shovel. I mean, you're digging with your words now but digging with a shovel will speed things up.

Sounds like you guys could have some chemistry lol

My heart is spoken for but if it wasn't I'd hit him up. :P And then hit him around for saying stupid stuff.

I know there's a lot of responses- but here's my story.

I didn't want to do online dating either. But I had terrible luck with guys- especially ones my age. 22 year old guys aren't exactly at my maturity level-especially since I've always been mature for my age.

So, I signed up for one month of Match (thanks to my mom)
I met my current boyfriend on there. I met him in December of 2010. We're still together. In fact, we're living together, and have been talking about our more "serious" future

My advice is to GO FOR IT.
I know a lot of people have luck on sites like OKcupid, POF, and all those free ones- but my advice is pay for it. I don't regret paying 30 bucks to meet the love of my life. He truly is perfect for me in every way.
And it's a good way to filter people too.
And to keep your standards high.
Never let your standards fall.

I always thought, why date guys that didn't meet my standards? Waste of time. As a result, didn't have a boyfriend until I met this guy.

Couldn't be happier

Standards is the PC female term for looks. Keep it classy ladies!

... I don't see why you have such a hangup. You're a good looking guy. I highly doubt you've ever been passed up on your appearance alone. So stop being a bitter nancy and recognize that for women attraction lies more in personality then looks.

When I was on those dating sites I looked at plenty of profiles and let me tell you, no matter HOW GOOD the guy looked, if he portrayed a ****ty personality in his profile he was passed up REAL QUICK.

I will give you that if a guy has a flat out bad personality he'll probably get passed up regardless of looks but speaking from experience there is a large group of guys getting passed over because they don't meet some nonsense standard of what women think a man should look like. My favorite are the chubby girls who "want someone athletic." Oh cool, I run 3-4 days a week and lift weights. She means me right? Wait no. She means 12% body fat with a 6 pack.

I've told you this before...but we all get passed up for different reasons.Sure some are physical, but I REALLY don't think that's one of the top reasons. I have 8% body fat and a six pack. I get just as few responses as you. The main reason we get poor responses is because there are so many guys sending messages. It's just a numbers game. Don't stress it.

Okay, so I gotta say- since I was the one who posted the original of this "quote", I'm a little offended.
I understand what you're saying, in a way- but please don't lump all of us together.
I don't go based completely on looks. If I did, do you think I'd be worried about maturity level? Do you think I'd still be with a guy after over a year if I was only interested in the way he looks?
Physical attraction is a must, but I'm not saying that it's everything. I've met very handsome men before with blah personalities.
My standards included:
Intelligence, passion, humor, ability to have a good conversation, cute smile, someone who makes me feel safe, and someone who I could call my best friend as well as my boyfriend.

It might be that some women are looking for the "12% body fat and 6 pack" as you say, (which, by the way is NOT me. My boyfriend is not either one of these things, and I do not like ripped guys.)

Oh and the reason I sent my boyfriend a message on Match was because his profile was witty and it made me laugh.
It's not all looks. We're not all shallow.
Some of us are just looking for our actual other half.

I know that some people have already defended me here, but I wanted to just get my 2 cents in so you understand that "standards' does NOT mean looks in this case. Not at all.

Have a good profile - if possible, have a female friend you trust look it over for you. Be honest! Have good pictures that show you, as you are now. Full body (clothed, obviously, unless we are talking adultfriendfinder); and close-up of your face; even doing something you enjoy. And then just get out there and have fun. I looked at it as a way to meet new people I wouldn't normally come across, and finding someone special was a bonus.

Good luck!

THIS!^^^
Spend the time to fill out your profile...FULLY (and interestingly, if at all possible...put some of your personality in there!)! When I was online dating, any emails I got from guys who appeared to have spent 5 minutes filling out their profile or who had put absolutely NO thought into it got deleted immediately.
Be honest and put up several, current pictures. If you "catch" someone by lying, you're only setting yourself up for rejection later. Or worse...you'll get someone you don't really want or doesn't really want you.

P.S. My fiance and I met, on the site mentioned above in fact, in Nov. 2009 and have been happily together ever since. ;o)

I agree completely with Moonspells! I met my husband online back in 2005. However he had lied about his height, haha. Lucky for him I didn't care he was 2 inches shorter than stated since I'm just 5'1"! Going on 8 years this November!

I, too, get very discouraged. Though I have had dates and have communicated with several men, it seems that most of the men only look at our pics and when you aren't a "10" you don't get a second glance. I think I have a lot to offer a good man, yet without the perfect body......

Met my boyfriend on Plenty Of Fish... I couldn't be happier. He bought my engagement ring already