Online dating
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Are you guys seriously fighting over who gets passed on more?
I have to believe it's that it's felt equally on both sides. Online dating is inherently superficial. Sucks, but that's life I suppose. Cheer up! Hugs all around. :flowerforyou:
Kind of. Heheheheheh. But it's fun! 0 -
I have tried it off and on over the last few years. multiple sites... I have met some nice people and have had some online friends. but have not had luck about meeting in person and that stuff.0
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There's a large group of women who get passed up based on looks alone, f.y.i.
Don't be silly. Only women pass up men based on appearance alone. *rolls eyes*
Yes. I'm sure the 10 billion times I was shot down immediately when I was 290lbs had something to do with a fundamental pesonality flaw which was clearly evident by the way I said "hello." Yeahhhhhhh. Magically this personality flaw has disappeared for at least a few women now at 225lbs. Care to explain why my "hello" sounds different now?
Dude. You don't have the monopoly on being judged by your appearance. *smh*
Don't be bitter.
That's all I'm saying.
I will stop being bitter literally the moment I get the impression the entire female population has moved beyond high school and is no longer shallow. Until then no deal :P0 -
I know there's a lot of responses- but here's my story.
I didn't want to do online dating either. But I had terrible luck with guys- especially ones my age. 22 year old guys aren't exactly at my maturity level-especially since I've always been mature for my age.
So, I signed up for one month of Match (thanks to my mom)
I met my current boyfriend on there. I met him in December of 2010. We're still together. In fact, we're living together, and have been talking about our more "serious" future
My advice is to GO FOR IT.
I know a lot of people have luck on sites like OKcupid, POF, and all those free ones- but my advice is pay for it. I don't regret paying 30 bucks to meet the love of my life. He truly is perfect for me in every way.
And it's a good way to filter people too.
And to keep your standards high.
Never let your standards fall.
I always thought, why date guys that didn't meet my standards? Waste of time. As a result, didn't have a boyfriend until I met this guy.
Couldn't be happier
Standards is the PC female term for looks. Keep it classy ladies!
... I don't see why you have such a hangup. You're a good looking guy. I highly doubt you've ever been passed up on your appearance alone. So stop being a bitter nancy and recognize that for women attraction lies more in personality then looks.
When I was on those dating sites I looked at plenty of profiles and let me tell you, no matter HOW GOOD the guy looked, if he portrayed a ****ty personality in his profile he was passed up REAL QUICK.
I will give you that if a guy has a flat out bad personality he'll probably get passed up regardless of looks but speaking from experience there is a large group of guys getting passed over because they don't meet some nonsense standard of what women think a man should look like. My favorite are the chubby girls who "want someone athletic." Oh cool, I run 3-4 days a week and lift weights. She means me right? Wait no. She means 12% body fat with a 6 pack.
I've told you this before...but we all get passed up for different reasons.Sure some are physical, but I REALLY don't think that's one of the top reasons. I have 8% body fat and a six pack. I get just as few responses as you. The main reason we get poor responses is because there are so many guys sending messages. It's just a numbers game. Don't stress it.0 -
I will stop being bitter literally the moment I get the impression the entire female population has moved beyond high school and is no longer shallow. Until then no deal :P
Do you think any of the female population will want you when you go around saying the entirety of us haven't moved beyond high school? LOL!
Here's a shovel. I mean, you're digging with your words now but digging with a shovel will speed things up.
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I think this is what you need...
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I will stop being bitter literally the moment I get the impression the entire female population has moved beyond high school and is no longer shallow. Until then no deal :P
Do you think any of the female population will want you when you go around saying the entirety of us haven't moved beyond high school? LOL!
Here's a shovel. I mean, you're digging with your words now but digging with a shovel will speed things up.
Sounds like you guys could have some chemistry lol0 -
try this one:
www.myfitnesspal.com
LOL!! :laugh:0 -
try this one:
www.myfitnesspal.com
LOL!! :laugh:
That would not be a bad idea. They should start a dating section0 -
I will stop being bitter literally the moment I get the impression the entire female population has moved beyond high school and is no longer shallow. Until then no deal :P
Oh, that's reasonable. You're going to be bitter forever then because there's no way "the entire female population" is going to do anything. And there's nothing as alluring as a man who's angry at the world because *gasp* people have preferences when it comes to physical attraction. How many women did you hit on that were (or are) your equivalent in weight? None? That's okay, because you're allowed to decide who you find attractive. What makes no sense is to be pissed off at an entire gender because you don't fit the most commonly sought-after physical ideal. Either change yourself so that you're closer to what the masses like and improve your odds of finding someone, or cultivate other attractive qualities. At least men have that option. With women who are looking for dates, chances are that no man's going to read the book of he doesn't like the cover. That's not a bitter statement, it's just a fact. That's why I'm doing some remodeling. I could probably find someone as I am now, but I prefer to have a wider range of choices.
And yes, I had a boyfriend for 2 years that weighed 320 lbs. I also know for a fact that he would not have dated me at my current weight. Just because you are fat doesn't mean you automatically become attracted to other fat people.0 -
I will stop being bitter literally the moment I get the impression the entire female population has moved beyond high school and is no longer shallow. Until then no deal :P
Do you think any of the female population will want you when you go around saying the entirety of us haven't moved beyond high school? LOL!
Here's a shovel. I mean, you're digging with your words now but digging with a shovel will speed things up.
Sounds like you guys could have some chemistry lol
My heart is spoken for but if it wasn't I'd hit him up. :P And then hit him around for saying stupid stuff. 0 -
I have had tons of success online but there are a few things you need to know before you go around all excited, get no responses and think the whole thing sucks.
Go to this site:
http://www.datingadviceguy.com/
Download his guide. His advice is right on the money. Most important thing is to keep your messages to 2-3 lines. It takes some practice to get good at it, but trust me, it works.
I dated many girls online. For the most part, they were all good people and normal. Be prepared to do multiple, coffee, or museums. Don't go around wasting money and time on dinners... leave that for second or third dates. Plenty of cheap fun activities. If you don't keep it simple, you will go broke. Trust me. I am just an average guy and I got a lot of responses. Be aware that some people will banish for several reasons. Again, don't get too excited till you meet people in person. And try to do that ASAP. Anyway, read all the stuff on that web site and you will be golden. Btw, I met my current girlfriend online.0 -
I know there's a lot of responses- but here's my story.
I didn't want to do online dating either. But I had terrible luck with guys- especially ones my age. 22 year old guys aren't exactly at my maturity level-especially since I've always been mature for my age.
So, I signed up for one month of Match (thanks to my mom)
I met my current boyfriend on there. I met him in December of 2010. We're still together. In fact, we're living together, and have been talking about our more "serious" future
My advice is to GO FOR IT.
I know a lot of people have luck on sites like OKcupid, POF, and all those free ones- but my advice is pay for it. I don't regret paying 30 bucks to meet the love of my life. He truly is perfect for me in every way.
And it's a good way to filter people too.
And to keep your standards high.
Never let your standards fall.
I always thought, why date guys that didn't meet my standards? Waste of time. As a result, didn't have a boyfriend until I met this guy.
Couldn't be happier
Standards is the PC female term for looks. Keep it classy ladies!
... I don't see why you have such a hangup. You're a good looking guy. I highly doubt you've ever been passed up on your appearance alone. So stop being a bitter nancy and recognize that for women attraction lies more in personality then looks.
When I was on those dating sites I looked at plenty of profiles and let me tell you, no matter HOW GOOD the guy looked, if he portrayed a ****ty personality in his profile he was passed up REAL QUICK.
I will give you that if a guy has a flat out bad personality he'll probably get passed up regardless of looks but speaking from experience there is a large group of guys getting passed over because they don't meet some nonsense standard of what women think a man should look like. My favorite are the chubby girls who "want someone athletic." Oh cool, I run 3-4 days a week and lift weights. She means me right? Wait no. She means 12% body fat with a 6 pack.
I've told you this before...but we all get passed up for different reasons.Sure some are physical, but I REALLY don't think that's one of the top reasons. I have 8% body fat and a six pack. I get just as few responses as you. The main reason we get poor responses is because there are so many guys sending messages. It's just a numbers game. Don't stress it.
Okay, so I gotta say- since I was the one who posted the original of this "quote", I'm a little offended.
I understand what you're saying, in a way- but please don't lump all of us together.
I don't go based completely on looks. If I did, do you think I'd be worried about maturity level? Do you think I'd still be with a guy after over a year if I was only interested in the way he looks?
Physical attraction is a must, but I'm not saying that it's everything. I've met very handsome men before with blah personalities.
My standards included:
Intelligence, passion, humor, ability to have a good conversation, cute smile, someone who makes me feel safe, and someone who I could call my best friend as well as my boyfriend.
It might be that some women are looking for the "12% body fat and 6 pack" as you say, (which, by the way is NOT me. My boyfriend is not either one of these things, and I do not like ripped guys.)
Oh and the reason I sent my boyfriend a message on Match was because his profile was witty and it made me laugh.
It's not all looks. We're not all shallow.
Some of us are just looking for our actual other half.
I know that some people have already defended me here, but I wanted to just get my 2 cents in so you understand that "standards' does NOT mean looks in this case. Not at all.0 -
I met the most amazing person through online dating after 45min of creating a profile! I was just checking it out for a few laughs and someone swiped me off my feet! I know it's crazy but a fun story. We are still together and loving it. Don't look too hard good things come when you least expect them to. Good luck to you!!0
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Have a good profile - if possible, have a female friend you trust look it over for you. Be honest! Have good pictures that show you, as you are now. Full body (clothed, obviously, unless we are talking adultfriendfinder); and close-up of your face; even doing something you enjoy. And then just get out there and have fun. I looked at it as a way to meet new people I wouldn't normally come across, and finding someone special was a bonus.
Good luck!
THIS!^^^
Spend the time to fill out your profile...FULLY (and interestingly, if at all possible...put some of your personality in there!)! When I was online dating, any emails I got from guys who appeared to have spent 5 minutes filling out their profile or who had put absolutely NO thought into it got deleted immediately.
Be honest and put up several, current pictures. If you "catch" someone by lying, you're only setting yourself up for rejection later. Or worse...you'll get someone you don't really want or doesn't really want you.
P.S. My fiance and I met, on the site mentioned above in fact, in Nov. 2009 and have been happily together ever since. ;o)
I agree completely with Moonspells! I met my husband online back in 2005. However he had lied about his height, haha. Lucky for him I didn't care he was 2 inches shorter than stated since I'm just 5'1"! Going on 8 years this November! 0 -
I have tried online dating in the past and my biggest frustration is when the guy posts all of the best photos of himself. I get it, ya want to look great, but I want to see the normal you as well. It's really disappointing when you meet up for a date and the "true" person doesn't match what you see in the photos. There have been extremes....like the one guy who posted a full body shot. He was very nice looking, seemed like a smart guy with his life together. We agreed to meet and he weighed about 400lbs. No...I'm not exaggerating. The photo was an old one. I felt lied to. When you send a message, be creative. Don't just say "hi", I never responded to a simple "hi" or "hello". I wanted to read something fun and witty that would catch my attention. Make sure you actually READ the person's profile before sending a message. Nothing is more frustrating than someone who simply sends a message just becuase they like your photo. Best of luck!0
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I, too, get very discouraged. Though I have had dates and have communicated with several men, it seems that most of the men only look at our pics and when you aren't a "10" you don't get a second glance. I think I have a lot to offer a good man, yet without the perfect body......0
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It's not like in real life where you can see how people really present themselves, smile, interact with others and so on. I'm not the most photogenic person. I know I'm getting blown off by guys who might be interested if they saw the full package in person. That's unfortunate.
I agree with you on how its different in person - but I think you're a total hottie and would def. flirt 0 -
Met my boyfriend on Plenty Of Fish... I couldn't be happier. He bought my engagement ring already 0
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Just have fun while you are fishing,. remember some people have to put their line in the water for a longer period of time. Some lucky people get a catch right away but you may have to throw away a bunch before finding a keeper you know the one you want to take home;)
Good Luck
Steph0
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