Stop the Fat Bashing!

anyone else see the irony in here?

it annoys me to no end

you say people are judgemental of a heavier person yet i see the "heavier" girl posting pictures on facebook like thus


or



you may as well accept it, everyone is judgemental to some degree, some guys only like brunettes and some girls only like guys with only a moderate amount of back hair.

it is no more fair for you to judge people who look in your general vicinity as it is for them to judge you

those pictures repulse me. We all like what we like. To each his/her own.

Has anyone actually said the things you're thinking out loud to you? If not, then YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS ENGAGING IN FAT BASHING.

Maybe you should change the way you think about yourself instead of projecting your thoughts and beliefs onto other people.

Eat what you want. Wear what you want. Work out when you want. It's about you -- not about other people.

I would seriously and respectfully suggest you see a counselor who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (changing the way you think about life) and disordered eating. It made a huge difference in my life.

I have no issue with you complaining or ranting, but everything in your post was literally about the "stares" you get from other people. It's possible insecurities leach out and attach themselves to the eyes of other people. Someone might be looking at you without even seeing you because they're zoned out. Someone might look at your food because they're hungry too.

Is it possible that people are intentionally giving you disdainful looks? Yes, it is... but your entire rant is about all these different scenarios of what *you* think people are thinking. That's a dangerous game, to make assumptions like that.

Hell, someone else might come in and say, "Stop the fat bashing! Don't avert your eyes from me just because of my weight!"

Perception can be a real b.

^^ You're SO right on this, IMO!

Oh, I thought we were here to chew the fat

Yes in my situation I'm interpreting looks which I will fully acknowledge could all be in my head. But there have been plenty of instances where I've overheard people saying these things about myself or others. I'm well aware of "skinny shaming" or whatever you want to call it too. I just find it ****ty that either way people can't win or lose- people are always going to judge. To those with negative comments- think what you want. I was simply talking about something I've observed.

Yes, there are always going to be people that judge others. Some people judge because their lives are sad and empty and they need to do things to entertain themselves and try and fill up the empty space, or they are just miserable and so they focus on misery. Sure, that can happen. But, why worry yourself with that. Why not enjoy your life so much, you wouldn't even notice someone like that or care. This goes for every area of life. Parenting for example. No matter what you do, there will be someone making a judgement. Maybe they have failed in life, so they need to judge others, so they don't feel alone. So, I do what I want and don't bother to care if some silly person is going to be nosy or annoying or gossipy or whatever.

However, what you are describing is entire, descriptive stories about how other people are perceiving you, all based on a look. It is simply not possible for you to know what they are thinking. It sounds like you are projecting your own feelings onto them. Maybe they aren't even seeing you, but they are thinking about something and their eyes glance at you. Maybe they think your food looks yummy, or maybe they think it doesn't look tasty to them. Or maybe they are trying to decide what to eat. Whatever, they could be thinking anything. Maybe they are sad and grumpy, and they are thinking about that and looking in your direction, but not thinking anything about you.

But, all that aside, I am sorry if anyone says rude things to you about your weight. Don't let them get in the way of living YOUR life and getting fit and healthy for YOU. Everyone has various challenges and insecurities that can change over time.

those pictures repulse me. We all like what we like. To each his/her own.

i completely agree. but people have issues with that. i once asked a gal out but she gave me rules

1) had to have a nice car - check
2) wanted to go to a nice dinner - check
3) had to make a certain amount of money yearly - check
4) would only sleep with me if i could give her a solid 9

thats where i drew the line. i have yet to find a woman who is worth cutting 2.5 inches off

BWAHAHAHA!!! BOOM!

(I think I love you...)

Bashing of every form will always happen, rant away, no one will listen.

QFT

Remember... bashing and judgment says a lot more about the person doing the bashing/judging that it could ever say about you.

Yes in my situation I'm interpreting looks which I will fully acknowledge could all be in my head. But there have been plenty of instances where I've overheard people saying these things about myself or others. I'm well aware of "skinny shaming" or whatever you want to call it too. I just find it ****ty that either way people can't win or lose- people are always going to judge. To those with negative comments- think what you want. I was simply talking about something I've observed.

Okay. But you made a post that basically called everyone who happens to look at you, a judgmental fat-shaming individual. I've been called names. I've heard others say things about me that weren't so nice when they thought I wasn't listening. And I know how it is to be so insecure you wonder if people are shaming/judging you when they happen to look your way for more than a few seconds.

But in the end, you have to let it go. You have to realize not everything is about you and the truth is, these people probably don't care a lick about you because they don't know you. And the ones that know you talking crap, well..that's up to you to keep them around or to at least say something. Either way, holding on to the hurt that you allow them to dish out to you (or the negativity that you imagine they are sending your way) is just a way to keep yourself down and being a victim. Just move on and let it go. Live your life and stop trying to find ways to feel insulted and entitled.

Or as some would say..."Just break up" (and by that, I mean with your insecurities and doubts and self-degradation)

Really is sad that you assume that everyone that looks at you is instantly thinking something negative.

At 245 lbs, if I were eating a hamburger and fries I'd get looks from people because I shouldn't be eating like that in my condition. "Try a salad fatty!" is what their eyes say.

I get looks each and everyday like I shouldn't be wearing fitted clothes and at this point I really don't care.

I fill up my plate with tons of veggies and lean proteins at school and people look at it like me like "Why are you even trying that? You know you want that greasy pizza!"

Projection. YOU think these things and then assign them to random people you think are looking at you. But these are your thoughts, not theirs. These are your beliefs, not theirs.

You sir, have just won the Internet.

Is no one else reading all the comments just Jnichel?!! Hilarious! I like it when someone can break up the tension with a smart *kitten* remark

I come to the Internet to get away from tension and seriousness.

I can relate to the last thing you said about the food. When I eat a salad (I usually have a mixed green salad from the salad bar with a couple of teaspoons of a chickpea and kidney bean salad with no dressing and boiled egg halves which I take the yolks out of) I get such filthy looks and I've actually had people talking about me behind my back saying horrible things about my healthy eating (WTF?!). However, if I know I won't have a chance to eat again until much later, I do eat a bigger lunch and I get a packet of baked crisps and a cereal bar too and when I eat these things, although they're not UNHEALTHY, just less healthy than I usually am, I still get bad looks and someone once told me that I ate too much and was a 'pig'.

I think that it's just easy for others to judge people on what they're eating.

sounds like you didnt need to rant.. You already got it figured out! You go girl!

-from a felllow REAL women.. haha

what does "REAL woman" mean?

Because i'm not overweight i'm less of a woman?

My life got a whole lot easier when I decided to stop giving a funk about what strangers may or may not be thinking about me.