Stop the Fat Bashing!

I'm a paranoid person. Like, literally. Diagnosed. I am forever having days where I have trouble because of what "other people must be thinking when they look at me." It can screw with my whole day and - honestly - is a huge part of why I'm such a hermit.

But even when it gets bad and I HAVE to be out there, I breath and tell myself "I'm not a mind-reader, I don't know what anyone else is thinking." It's in my head - and even if it isn't - it's STILL in my head because those people haven't actually shared those thoughts with me.

I do a lot of "I have no right to assume what other people are thinking" - because that's THEIR'S. No one has the right to assume what I'm thinking. So same goes for them. All this is easier said than done. Case in point, I've left the house maybe three times in a week??? If that? Still, I hope sharing the coping skills I use helps. I get how our own fear of what other people might be thinking can mess us up.

At 245 lbs, if I were eating a hamburger and fries I'd get looks from people because I shouldn't be eating like that in my condition. "Try a salad fatty!" is what their eyes say.

I get looks each and everyday like I shouldn't be wearing fitted clothes and at this point I really don't care.

I fill up my plate with tons of veggies and lean proteins at school and people look at it like me like "Why are you even trying that? You know you want that greasy pizza!"

Projection. YOU think these things and then assign them to random people you think are looking at you. But these are your thoughts, not theirs. These are your beliefs, not theirs.

You sir, have just won the Internet.

Is no one else reading all the comments just Jnichel?!! Hilarious! I like it when someone can break up the tension with a smart *kitten* remark

Hold strong and ignore the idiots. What you wear or eat is NO ONES business! You know you ar working on getting healthier. Do not worry about what others are saying or thinking. Some of the skinnest people I know are among the least healthy. The eat junk food, smoke and drink in excess. The only way to deal with those looks is to smile your sweetest smile and kill them with kindness. There are some cruel people out there but there is no reason for you to sink to their slimmy level. You are beautiful as you are. Maybe you should get a shirt made that says "I am wearing this because I just came from the gym".

anyone else see the irony in here?

It's dripping off the walls.

thats not irony, i thought i was alone in here....

Dag-nab-it. Keep it in the, "It's raining men" thread!

potential men

sounds like you didnt need to rant.. You already got it figured out! You go girl!

-from a felllow REAL women.. haha

Please define a REAL woman, I'm curious

sounds like you didnt need to rant.. You already got it figured out! You go girl!

-from a felllow REAL women.. haha

what does "REAL woman" mean?

Because i'm not overweight i'm less of a woman?

Technically, yes. A woman with a mass of 100lbs is less of a woman than one with a mass of 125lbs. :laugh:

sounds like you didnt need to rant.. You already got it figured out! You go girl!

-from a felllow REAL women.. haha

what does "REAL woman" mean?

Because i'm not overweight i'm less of a woman?

That is how I took that comment too. I guess I strive to be a "fake woman"

IMO it sounds like you are a bit paranoid. How can you tell what someone is thinking by looking at them?

I wish you success girl! Hold your head up and don't worry about others may or may not be thinking. Keep it up!

sounds like you didnt need to rant.. You already got it figured out! You go girl!

-from a felllow REAL women.. haha

What makes a real women vs a fake one? I don't get it.

Humungous knockers.

DARNIT!

About the whole "real woman" thing...given that the poster never came back, I'm guessing it was just used to be an encouraging silly expression to cheer up OP. maybe by "real" she meant taking care of herself and not judging. Who knows? It would still work. So much offense is being taken to that comment while in turn telling OP she's being too sensitive about offhand comments or looks. Someone makes ONE "real woman" comment not directed at anyone and with no clear reason and everyone pounced on it and took offense! Take some of the advice you gave OP!

That being said, OP, you really do seem to be projecting and I know how that goes. My poor boyfriend can't compliment a part of my body without me taking it as backhand slang for calling me chubby. And I'm not fishing for compliments, it genuinely gets me down and makes me sad if he calls my thighs "shapely". Nuts, right? Just as nuts as letting a look from a stranger ruin your whole day. Stay in this for YOU. I totally understand that those insecurities can not be let go in one day but work on it as best you can and hang in there

My two cents about the skinny actresses and when that became sexy or whatevs... I really don't know how to tell, but some of them honestly look underweight. If health is everyone's goal, I think promoting a healthful body image, particularly to younger girls is an okay thing. I wish someone had told me when I was ten and a perfectly normal weight that my thighs didn't have to look like an actresses to still be healthy and attractive. I obsessed over it! Just a thought, not meant to be bashing at all!