Strangest thing you have heard a kid say

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  • 37434958
    37434958 Posts: 457 Member
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    I've posted this before. .but It's so good!

    So my kid sometimes requires me to squat in front of the toilet while he's on it and he lays his head down on my knees. . .don't ask. .

    Anyway, he's laying down on my knees and he says "I like yours better, because when mommy does it, my head goes down there and I smell something weird. ."

    Of course I almost choked to death at this point but I manage to say: "Oh really Russell, what does it smell like?". .

    "I dunno. . Dead Squirrels?"

    (don't worry, we're already divorced ) ;))


    LOOOOOLLL sooo cute!! XD
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
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    I've posted this before. .but It's so good!

    So my kid sometimes requires me to squat in front of the toilet while he's on it and he lays his head down on my knees. . .don't ask. .

    Anyway, he's laying down on my knees and he says "I like yours better, because when mommy does it, my head goes down there and I smell something weird. ."

    Of course I almost choked to death at this point but I manage to say: "Oh really Russell, what does it smell like?". .

    "I dunno. . Dead Squirrels?"

    (don't worry, we're already divorced ) ;))


    LOOOOOLLL sooo cute!! XD

    soo cute!! lol um no... thats sick lol a womans lady parts should NEVER smell.. lol... or else there is something wrong... :)

    but that story made me laugh and feel REALLY bad at the same time.. lol..
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    We were watching some TV show with our middle son (who was about 8 or 9 at the time), and this guy threw a peanut to a woman and it landed in her cleavage. Our son turns to us with the horrified look on his face and exclaims, "That peanut went right into her boob crack!"
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
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    I've posted this before. .but It's so good!

    So my kid sometimes requires me to squat in front of the toilet while he's on it and he lays his head down on my knees. . .don't ask. .

    Anyway, he's laying down on my knees and he says "I like yours better, because when mommy does it, my head goes down there and I smell something weird. ."

    Of course I almost choked to death at this point but I manage to say: "Oh really Russell, what does it smell like?". .

    "I dunno. . Dead Squirrels?"

    (don't worry, we're already divorced ) ;))


    BEST RESPONSE EVER. That's just too damn funny!
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
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    I tricked my daughter into eating dried prunes by telling her that they are candy.
    she asked me if i can give her a piece of candy and I said no, she says " NO the ones that help me poop" lol!!
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    Last night, while perusing the Valentine's stuffed animals at Wal-Mart, my son (who's 8) announced that he punched a stuffed monkey in the balls.

    He still refuses to say what the monkey did to deserve it...
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    My oldest son used to always feel like he wasn't being heard, so he would preface really important stuff by saying, "Ok, MOM..... hear my words and see my booty" which, to him, meant to stop everything and pay attention. No idea why!?!?!?!

    My cousin's youngest child is now a huge fan of vampire shows/movies. She's three years old and although that would be a bit out of range for something I'd let my kids watch at that age, not my call -- anyway, now she runs around saying, "I's a wampire and I smuck you bloods" which is the cutest thing till she actually tries to 'smuck' you!

    this is just super cute!
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
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    my sister is a 1st grade teacher. she told me this story about this little girl who is no longer in her classroom because she is now in second grade, who causes alot of trouble. ( lets call her abby )

    so my sister found out that abby was susspended from school, I asked why? and my sister says its because abby took a fish out of the fish bowl to put it in her pocket ( abby likes stealing things ) They told abby to put the fish back into the bowl or else it might die. so she put it back lol. i think its funny that someone would want to steal a fish.. anyways.. lol..
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
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    was watching my nephew when he was 3 or 4, and he farted something feirce. then he giggled and said "my butt burped."
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
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    I've posted this before. .but It's so good!

    So my kid sometimes requires me to squat in front of the toilet while he's on it and he lays his head down on my knees. . .don't ask. .

    Anyway, he's laying down on my knees and he says "I like yours better, because when mommy does it, my head goes down there and I smell something weird. ."

    Of course I almost choked to death at this point but I manage to say: "Oh really Russell, what does it smell like?". .

    "I dunno. . Dead Squirrels?"

    (don't worry, we're already divorced ) ;))
    LOL! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    My 15-year-old coworker was showing us pictures (those funny internet meme kind) after work and he says: "Yeah, when I showed this my friend he was seriously *kitten*."

    ...
    ...

    I was like: "Do you know what that words MEANS???"
  • supersmiles11
    supersmiles11 Posts: 50 Member
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    I have cancer and going through chemo. My friend's wee 3 yr old looked at me and then asked her nana "Why does auntie row have no hair". Nana replied " it's because she takes special medicine whihc will make her better"... little girl thought for a few minutes and then said "is it Calpol nana"? with a very worried look.... bless her! the only medicine she knows! Once saying no to her we couldn't stop laughing! It was soooo cute!!
  • liesevanlingen
    liesevanlingen Posts: 508 Member
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    I have four kids and they ALL come out with crazy stuff. One of my favorites was when I was discussing relationships with my 3-year-old son and I explained that his daddy was my husband. The conversation continued from there as follows:
    Son: Where`s MY husband
    Me: Um, well, boys don`t usually have husbands. Maybe when you get a little older, you can meet a nice woman and she can be your wife.
    Son: (decisively) I want a woman. (pause) I want a BIG woman!
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    My 5 year old niece is a strange, morbid little creature. We were on the bus together not long ago, driving through some scrubland. I told her to look out the window because she might see a kangaroo. She covered her face with her eyes and whispered "no, I don't want to see the bodies"

    Also to my mum (her grandma)- (mum has very lovely loooong hair) niece narrowed her eyes at her the other day and said in a weird, gravelly voice "I'm going to cut your hair off"

    She scares me sometimes
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    There was a kid at the beach who was talking about 'remote control seagulls'. These kind of drive-by conversations are hilarious; ones you only get to hear part of.

    And then there was a kid in a grocery store who threw a tantrum when her mother wouldn't buy a can of green beans.
  • sdumma
    sdumma Posts: 126 Member
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    My son, 4, truly believes that rain drops are a giants tears. He gets sad when it rains :cry:
  • Kristen81
    Kristen81 Posts: 342 Member
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    I was helping my 3 year old Son use the big potty the other day and he says " Mom, the bathroom looks great. That's a delicious potty!"
  • Rogiefreida
    Rogiefreida Posts: 567 Member
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    I had a 4-5 year old the other day in my store, who had just got a stuffed animal while her and her mom were shopping down the street. She says "look at my new stuffed animal! Mommy used daddy's credit card to pay for it, so really I should be thanking daddy". Her mom and I about died laughing. She was so cute.
    Not too long after that her grandma called her mom, and the little girl takes the phone and proceeds to tell her grandma the exact same thing. Very, very loudly.
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
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    My 5 year old niece is a strange, morbid little creature. We were on the bus together not long ago, driving through some scrubland. I told her to look out the window because she might see a kangaroo. She covered her face with her eyes and whispered "no, I don't want to see the bodies"

    Also to my mum (her grandma)- (mum has very lovely loooong hair) niece narrowed her eyes at her the other day and said in a weird, gravelly voice "I'm going to cut your hair off"

    She scares me sometimes
    HAHA! omg the first one was soooo funny!! haha

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