most emberassing place you've ever audibly farted

I worked in the front office at a pediatrics office where I was talking to a coworker and one just slipped out loudly. I looked out to the lobby to see a dad laughing .....not good!

Or the time when my now husband and I had just been dating for a month and we were driving to LAX to catch a flight to Texas. I had never flown before and was really nervous so my intestines were rattling pretty good. He said he smelled a skunk, but it was me!! It has been a big ole fart fest since then trying to one up the other.

I will never outgrow my amusement from farts... but other peoples! They are hysterical and I crack up even just thinking about them. My kids know the easiest way to make me laugh, no matter what, is to let one.

My most embarrassing fart happened due to the ingestion of a Fiber One bar while I was traveling for business. I was not aware at the time of the common side effect of eating these bars, which have been documented on the internet (wildly funny by the way! http://www.pleasegodno.com/archives/66-Fiber-One-Bars-make-me-Fart.html). I was in my hotel room laying face down on the bed watching some TV. I felt as though I was going to pass some dainty, noiseless ladylike wind, but instead it blasted out with such force and reverberation that I was honestly shocked and amazed. I immediately disintegrated into gales of laughter and between my laughs I heard shrieks of laughter from the hallway. That's when I realized how truly loud it actually was. And this was not a one shot deal, this epic farting went on for quite some time. The whole rest of my stay I always made sure the coast was clear before I exited or entered my room and NEVER touched a Fiber One bar again.

This thread is a blast! I have been laughing so hard at all the stories that I nearly peed myself... but that's another thread. :laugh: :embarassed:

Interesting question....As a 7th grade teacher for many years I have been known to let a silent deadly one go next to my "favorite" student while quietly walking around the class checking work....I know....I'm sick!!!!:)

I'm gonna ask my kid if his teacher has ever smelled like a fart. If he says yes, I'm gonna have her stank azz fired. I'm so sick of how teachers think it's okay to harsh on kids. It's so irresponsible and unprofessional.

Luckily I have the kind of kid who if the teacher did that in front of him, he's cry foul and yell "Ew, Mrs. insert-your-name-here, you farted!" And he has the kind of mom who while in the principal's office would back him up.

[hope this lady doesn't teach at my kid's school, it's hard enough to leave them there with everything that goes on nowadays, plus having to read their nasty attitudes on Facebook and now MFP is really just too much.]

Overreact much?

My thoughts exactly!

during my wedding

Oh DO tell!

Laughing so hard right now...

Mine wasn't audible but my husband and I were up camping with the in-laws when I let a silent one go... it was so bad my father in law teared up and kept asking if anyone else smelled the rotting animal carcass...

It's so rare that I audibly fart that I can't think of anything. However, once we were at church when my son was a little baby and the entire congregation was silent as our pastor was praying for two guys leaving for a mission trip. Anyhow, the guys were right in front of us and mid prayer my son totally sharted, a big long loud juicy one. Laughter rippled out among us and the guys who were being prayed for were in tears laughing.

OMG!!! Im laughing so hard that tears are coming out!!! :laugh: :sad:

Giving birth to my first kid. Doctor said "push" and I did.

It's normal to poop during a live birth...

Talk about shock the first time that happens, "Hey that's not MY kid!"

Haha this made me lol :laugh:

Interesting question....As a 7th grade teacher for many years I have been known to let a silent deadly one go next to my "favorite" student while quietly walking around the class checking work....I know....I'm sick!!!!:)

I'm gonna ask my kid if his teacher has ever smelled like a fart. If he says yes, I'm gonna have her stank azz fired. I'm so sick of how teachers think it's okay to harsh on kids. It's so irresponsible and unprofessional.

Luckily I have the kind of kid who if the teacher did that in front of him, he's cry foul and yell "Ew, Mrs. insert-your-name-here, you farted!" And he has the kind of mom who while in the principal's office would back him up.

[hope this lady doesn't teach at my kid's school, it's hard enough to leave them there with everything that goes on nowadays, plus having to read their nasty attitudes on Facebook and now MFP is really just too much.]

Oh shut up. You've got no idea how rotten most kids are even if you think your's is an ickle angel. I know because I've been that nastey 7th grade ***** and I've worked in a middle school. Maybe you should be a teacher. See where you stand then haha.

Now back to laughing.

Mine was in the 3rd grade lunch line next to the guy I adored lol. He never brought it up .

Angel or not kids are there to be taught and that includes manners and respect, etc. not having teachers take their issues out on them. I don't care if they are in the 7th grade either. So tired of this kind of stuff. Really. As a habit, and on purpose that's just out of line. Oh and don't tell me to "shut up" who do you think you are? If it's so hard on you being teachers step aside and make room for those teachers that got shown the door a few years back.

Oh come on ... lighten up for goodness sake! Topic's not so "hot" that you have to "try" to be a fireman!

People are here to support each other and lose weight and hopefully have a little fun along the way. Bodily functions are bodily functions - and they do just that - sometimes one simply 'gotta' do it.

You really do not have to read this post. It isn't required for your 9th grade Social Studies - or 7th Grade - or whatever - class. We're all adults here, having fun, laughing about the things that embarrassed us. So lighten up or just go read another thread and take yourself out of the situation. I.E. change the channel. Use the remote. Switch roads. Make it easy on yourself. Don't get all 'het up'. Cool the jets. Take a chill pill. Relllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx! Laughing doesn't hurt and if this isn't a funny thread for you (it's hysterical to me and my wife) find one that is and leave this one.

Oh, and by the way, TEACHERS are NOT in classes to teach YOUR CHILD "manners and respect, etc.". They are there to teach classes. It is the PARENTS who teach manners. It is the PARENTS who teach respect. If YOU don't do that, there is NOTHING a teacher can do to make it happen FOR you. So teach your own child manners. Teach your own child to respect others and themselves. You'll be doing him or her a favor. After all, most teachers see a child between 4 and 8 hours a week for about 36 weeks. That is a total of 134 to 268 hours a YEAR and if you count ALL the time the kid spends in school, that comes up to only 1260 hours. The other 7,506 hours belong to YOU, hon. No way any teacher or group of teachers can compete with that or make a difference in what a kid learns by example in the 86% of time you have him/her in your control.

Teachers can encourage and cajole, but they can't do something you don't do first... with all due respect.

I have never laughed so hard in all my life.

My husgand and I practice "the wave." It is nightime, you fart under the covers, so you do "the wave" with the bedsheets pretending to adjust your blankets. I keep two bottles of air freshener in the bedroom for just this purpose.

I never knew this exercise had a name... It must be human nature because we've done this for years... OMG this is the best thread ever! I can barely see to type my eyes are full of tears.
After seven years I still try to be a lady and when one does slip, his eyes go wide and then he just smiles at me. I'm the gassy one since over that time, he's rarely farted. The times he does I feel like giving him a medal... except...

We were leaving a restaurant, he'd just finished consuming a horrifically high caloric/protein dinner (and I warned him it was gonna hurt). Crossing the parking lot he decided to let it out I guess. It was so obnoxious a cloud that I could smell it on the other side of the car. My eyes watered, my hands covered my mouth and I shouted, "Oh My God! Unlock the car!!"
We tried to hurry into the car before the cloud could catch up -fastest I've ever slid into a Camaro seat in a skirt-, but, alas, it caught up. The cloud of horror was trapped in the car, we were laughing so hard he couldn't drive and I think my clothes were melting. Okay, melting clothes is an exaggeration but it was that bad. As we're sitting there, I roll my window down a bit, just hoping for fresh air, and I hear people in the parking lot. "Ugh, what the hell?? I think something died out here!" I laughed so hard I almost wet myself and he laughed so hard we had to wait another five minutes before he could see to drive.

Personally, on the massage table. My therapist and I had a great laugh about it, apparently it happens all the time and he usually just ignores them. But since I started laughing first.... (In my house, farting was never a crime growing up and ours were graded for comedic effect. My dad would rate them, hysterical I know)

google dinosaur fart, extinction... it's a hilarious video that my family jokes represents us. It won't let me post the .gif, sorry

I love this! I really needed a good laugh